为什么我们不能像她一样去外面走走？许多人看了她的经历之后发出这样的感慨。大多数人梦想搁浅是因为囊中羞涩，可是这位真名叫赵菊阳的杭州女孩，开家小网店，收入也不高，之所以能够踏上令人艳羡的旅程，根本原因是她选择了“相信陌生人”。

Why can't we like her to go out for a walk？Many people see her after the experience of making such feeling。Most people dream of stranded because poorer，But the real name of the ZhaoJuYang hangzhou girl，Open small shop，Income is not high also，Are able to set foot on is the envy of the journey，Root cause is her choice“Trust to a stranger”。

借你家的沙发住一下，可以吗 Borrow your sofa live it，Can?

　　旅行中开销最大的是交通和住宿，于是“猫猫”采取了全球流行的穷游方式：低价航空和沙发客。

Travel expenses the largest is the traffic and hotel，so“Cat cat”Take the global popular QiongYou way：Low-cost airlines and sofa guest。

　　沙发客，在国内或许知者寥寥，在国外早已不再新鲜。2004年，美国人芬顿创立了第一个廉价自助游网站“couchsurfing”。起因是芬顿临时决定去芬兰旅行，他给1500名芬兰大学生发了电子邮件寻求住宿，获得100人回应，旅途中遇到很多热心的当地人，他因此萌发了将这种旅行方式推广开来的想法。目前，“couchsurfing”已成为全球最成功的沙发客网站, 在229个国家和地区拥有近百万会员，并以每周1万人的速度递增。大约在2008年，沙发客进入中国，首先登陆台湾地区，目前国内已有多个沙发客网站，例如“好客网”、“沙发客网”等。

Sofa guest，In domestic perhaps a knower，In overseas is already no longer fresh。2004 years，Americans created the first cheap fenton reaction self-help website“couchsurfing”。Cause fenton reaction is temporary decided to Finland travel，He gave 1500 Finnish university germinal E-mail seeking accommodation，Get 100 people respond，The journey to meet many zealous in the local people，He therefore had will this way to travel promotion from the idea。At present，“couchsurfing”Has become a global most successful sofa guest website, In 229 countries and regions have nearly members，And a week in increasing at the rate of 10000 people。About 2008 years，Sofa guest into China，First landed in Taiwan，At present domestic have multiple sofa guest website，For example“Good.metroer.com”、“.metroer.com sofa”etc。

　　“沙发客要做的事情，就是攒足勇气和对陌生人的信任上路。”话说得洒脱，但猫猫第一次做沙发客时，还是提心吊胆。她记着父母耳提面命的训诫“防人之心不可无”，在沙发客网站上精挑细选资料丰富、评价分数高、有真人照片和完整联系方式的宿主，又不惜时间和对方聊了两个月，“什么话题都聊，培养熟悉的感觉，建立信任，这样双方都放心。”万事做足。猫猫没想到的是，满怀希望飞抵香港，“给宿主打了个电话，他说正在来接我的路上，让我稍等一会儿。好久没到，再打电话，已关机了。”幸好出发前她联系了另一位宿主作为候补，候补马上坐地铁来接她，带她到家里住下，此后几天带她去了很多只有当地人才知道的好地方玩，“我和他成了好友，至今还有联系。”

“Sofa guest of things to do，Save is courage and the trust of strangers on the road。”Words and，But the cat cat first do sofa guest，Fear or。She remember their parents the apparent12 sermon“The heart of man is not”，In the sofa on.metroer.com selected material is rich、Evaluation score high、There are real people photos and complete contact methods of the host，And at the time and the other chat for two months，“What topic we talk about，Training familiar feeling，Build trust，So both sides are at ease。”All things do sufficient。The cat cat didn't expect it，Hope fly to Hong Kong，“To host a call，He said is picking me up the road，Let me wait for a while。Long time no to，Call again，Already shut down。”Fortunately, she contacted before departure another host as a backup，Alternate immediately take the subway to meet her，Take her to stay home，After a few days to take her to a lot of people know only local good place to play，“He and I became good friends，There are still contact。”

　　沙发客以年轻人居多，但也不乏老人家。猫猫告诉记者，年长的宿主，一般经济基础比较好，她曾经误打误撞借住到了宿主的“宫殿”里。那是一位美国老先生，从律师行业退休后，到墨西哥小城瓦哈卡安度晚年，那里的建筑涂着粉红粉绿粉黄等各种粉嫩色彩，有如童话。老先生开车带猫猫去自家的庄园，“半山腰上有一栋房子，每一处都装修得很精致，餐具都是银制品，精美得如同艺术品。”惊喜并未完结。老先生带猫猫参加顶级社交聚会，带她去小城的角落看日出，甚至去见同性爱人，“他说既然我敢信任他，和他共处一室，他当然要像朋友一样善待我！”

Sofa with young people for the majority，But also have old man's house。Cat cat told reporters，Older host，General economic foundation is better，She had made the mistake of came to live by the host“palace”in。That is a United States the old man，After retiring from the legal profession，To Mexico City, spend a card, old age，The buildings there with pink pink green wait for all sorts of pink color pink fizzles out，Like a fairy tale。The old man drive cat cat to his estate，“The hillside have a house，Each place is decorated is delicate，Tableware are silver products，As fine art。”Surprise did not end。The old man take the cat cat to top social gathering，Take her to the corner of the small town watching the sunrise，And even to see gay lover，“He said now that I can trust him，And he Shared a room，B: of course he is like a friend to me！”

　　陌生人之间“不设防”的信任，一路感动着猫猫。行至纽约，宿主是一位年近60的牙医，在曼哈顿和波士顿都有房产，每周在两地各住几天。他载着猫猫绕城看风景，告诉她公寓周围哪里东西便宜，哪家餐馆是当地人的心头好，哪家咖啡比较纯……猫猫寻思着要把护照、身份证等各种证件给他看，这当儿老人家却掏出钥匙交给她让她自己上楼，他开车直奔波士顿。这让猫猫想起在澳门，宿主也是把公寓钥匙交给猫猫，转身去旅行。

Between strangers“A naked”trust，All the way to move the cat cat。Step to New York，The host is a nearly 60 years of the dentist，In Manhattan and Boston have house property，In the two a week for a few days。He carried the cat cat belt to look at the scenery，Tell her around the apartment where things cheap，Which restaurant is the local people's mind is well，A coffee is pure……The cat cat thought to take the passport、Id card, etc all kinds of documents to the man，Locating the old man over to her keys out but let her go upstairs，He drove straight to Boston。This let the cat cat think of in Macao，The host is the apartment keys to the cat cat，Turned round to travel。

　　互相之间的信任，使猫猫得以进入宿主们的生活，一起过万圣节，一起踢足球，一起泡温泉，一起去party……猫猫说，正是这些信任我的陌生人，才让一个人稍显寂寞的旅行有了颜色，充满了想象“他们的生活，丰富了我的人生。”

The trust between each other，Make the cat cat may enter the host of life，Halloween together，Play football，Together in the hot spring，Go to party……The cat said，It is these trust I stranger，Just let a person a bit lonely travel have color，Full of imagination“Their life，Has enriched my life。”

　　随着时间的推移，沙发客网站上国内用户越来越多。打开微博和年轻人聚集的豆瓣网，求沙发的帖子随着暑期来临日渐热闹。没钱有闲的年轻人，希望通过网络和陌生人，实现穷游的梦想：有人打算800元从北京到拉萨，希望一路有人提供沙发；有人到南京玩，求沙发，在南京市上海路僻静处的“东瓜南”咖啡馆老板愿意把店里的长沙发借他两晚……愿意做宿主的多是曾经受惠于陌生人的沙发客，他们很乐意把对陌生人的信任传递下去。猫猫在杭州的家，就已接待了来自全球的十几位沙发客。

As time goes on，Sofa.metroer.com domestic users more and more on。Open the Po and young people gathered requirements of nets，For the post with the coming summer sofa is lively。No money of the idle young people，Hope that through the network and stranger，QiongYou realize the dream：Someone going to 800 yuan from Beijing to Lhasa，Hope all the way someone provide sofa；Someone to nanjing play，For sofa，In nanjing road Shanghai the favor by giving“South east melon”The boss of the store to coffee lounge by his two nights……Would like to do more than once the host is benefiting from the stranger's sofa guest，They are willing to take on the trust of the strangers pass it on。The cat cat in hangzhou's house，It has received from the global dozens of sofa guest。

我们为什么不和陌生人说话 Why don't we stranger talk

　　记者问提供暑期沙发的“东瓜南”店主怕不怕来者不善？他笑道：“怕呀，所以到时我会先看他的身份证明，晚上也会考虑留店员陪他住。毕竟，从小到大，幼儿园的老师告诉我们不要吃陌生人的糖，去外地上大学爸妈叮嘱路上不要和陌生人说话，谈恋爱长辈们说要找个知根知底的人，火车站的警示牌上写着不要理睬陌生人……”猫猫也告诉记者，和国外不同，国内宿主见面第一件事就是“查户口”，而借宿的她，“如果遇到不要看身份证的，我倒有点小怕了。”

The reporter asked offers a summer of sofa“South east melon”The shopkeeper afraid they're furious？He laughed：“Afraid of ah，So I'll see first his identity，The evening would also consider a clerk with him to live in。After all，From small，The preschool teacher told us not to eat the sugar strangers，Go abroad to college parents told the way not to talk to strangers，Love said to the elders to find a know too much，The railway station, writing on the sign to ignore stranger……”The cat cat also told reporters，And foreign different，Meet domestic host first thing“Check account”，And the night she，“If meet don't see id card，I'm kind of little fear。”

　　从北京一路搭车去柏林看女友的谷岳，也感叹和陌生人打交道“东西大不同”：在西方搭车很普遍，在国内搭车则不多见，“脸皮要足够厚”才能搭上。他曾在石家庄附近的高速路服务区求搭一辆车，车里有一男一女。他和同伴刘畅把护照、旅游卫视开的介绍信给车主看，把旅行计划详细解释给车主听，甚至打开笔记本请车主看周密的行程安排……那位女士非常认真，请刘畅拿出身份证，和她自己的比对；打电话请朋友上网查谷岳所说的博客是否存在，博主是否和眼前这位长得一样；最后还给旅游卫视打了电话……一番“安检”之后，她终于向他们做了个“OK”的手势，“真不容易呀！”

All the way from Beijing a lift to see his girlfriend GuYue of Berlin，Also exclamation and strangers“Things different”：In the west a lift it is very common，In domestic a lift is rare，“The face want to be thick enough”Can build on。He was in the service area highway near shijiazhuang; take a car，The car has a man and a woman。He and fellow liu chang passport、Travel TV open of introduction to the owner look，The travel plans to explain in detail the owner listen to，Or even open notebook please see careful scheduling owners……The lady very seriously，Please take out liu id card，And her own comparison；Call your friends to check GuYue said blog is present，Blogger and whether the long sight to do the same；Finally back to travel TV a call……a“security”after，She finally do to them“OK”gestures，“It's not easy!！”

　　采访中，记者发现，来自不同地方、不同年龄的沙发客、搭车人，不约而同地选择了隐瞒父母，甚至隐瞒朋友，笑言“打死也不说”。猫猫的父母，是在她出了第一本书《35岁单身女子的沙发客之旅》后，方才知道女儿经常借宿在陌生人家里，“惊得一颤一颤的”。而记者在写稿时，求沙发的20岁大三女孩清然，私信给记者，“悲剧了，计划夭折”父母知道了她的沙发客计划，“觉得我疯了”，费尽周折联系上女儿旅行地的老同学，托他照顾女儿。记者随机调查身边的中年同事和朋友，如果自己孩子面对同样的问题，几乎百分百选择“不同意！”

interview，Reporter discovery，From different places、The sofa of different age guest、Delectable hitchhiker who，The parents choose to one concealed，Even hide friends，Smile said“Killed also don't say”。Cat's parents，Is in her out of the first book《35 years old of single women sofa guest trip》after，Have know daughter often stayed in a stranger's house，“Was a flutter of a flutter”。And reporters in writing，For the three girls 20 years old sofa clear however，Occasionally give reporters，“tragedy，Plan failed”Parents know her sofa guest plan，“Think I am crazy”，All the trouble contact the daughter travel old classmates，Send him taking care of her。The reporter of the random surveys side middle-aged colleagues and friends，If their children face the same problems，Almost choice“Don't agree with！”

　　“这是一个最好的年代，这是一个最坏的年代。”狄更斯这句被用滥的话用在描述人与人的信任问题上再合适不过。一方面，沙发客、搭车等旅行方式在中国的年轻人中接受度在增加，另一方面，社会调查却屡屡显示人们对陌生人仍然普遍不信任。相关机构曾在上海做调查：你相信陌生人吗？只有2%的受访者选择“相信”，98%的人“不相信”。去年4月，年仅25岁的广州女孩魏茵独闯川藏搭车遇害，《北京青年报》就此做了调查：在旅行途中，你是否选择相信陌生人？248人参与投票，其中206人选择不信任，理由是：时刻保持警惕！

“This is one of the best s，This is a the worst of times。”Dickens this sentences are well-worn words describe the trust of the people in suits on the problem。On the one hand，Sofa guest、Such as a way to travel in China's young people to accept degree is on the increase，On the other hand，Social survey found that people have become still widespread distrust of strangers。Agencies have been at the Shanghai to do investigation：You trust to a stranger？Only 2% of those surveyed chose“believe”，98%“Don't believe”。Last April，Only 25, the guangzhou girl WeiYin sichuan-tibet a lone striker was killed，《The Beijing youth daily》Did a survey on：During the trip，If you choose to believe that stranger？248 people vote，206 of them have choice of distrust，Reason is：Alert at all times！

　　对沙发客现象关注多时的香港科技大学社会学博士邱月告诉记者，相信熟人；“出门靠朋友”；凡事托关系、找门子；对陌生人本能地防备和不信任，本能地希望把必须要相处的陌生人变成熟人，这不是个人的问题，是“社会环境的产物”，相对而言，不相信陌生人比较保险。充分信任猫猫的老外，并非没有自我保护意识不管社会形态、经济发展水平如何，人人都有自我保护的本能，但现实环境不同，人们互信的边际就会千差万别。

To sofa guest phenomenon of a long attention Hong Kong university of science and technology on dr sociology high told reporters，Believe acquaintances；“Go-off on friends”；"All things relationship、Find doors；The instinct to beware of strangers and distrust，The instinct to hope to have to get along with strangers into acquaintances，This is not a personal problem，is“The social environment of the product”，relatively，Don't trust to a stranger more insurance。The cat cat full trust foreigners，Not no ego to protect consciousness regardless of social form、The level of economic development，Everyone has the self-preservation instincts，But the reality environment is different，People will differ in thousands ways of mutual trust marginal。

从信任熟人到信任陌生人 Trust to trust strangers from acquaintances

　　“中国原本是熟人社会。”邱月所说的，是费孝通先生几十年前提出的社会学概念，指人们按亲疏、内外、生熟程度，区别对待与之交往的不同对象，人与人之间的私人关系，构成了一张张看不见的关系网，社会于制度之外，还按照关系网的经纬运作。“陌生人社会”则大不同，“人们彼此间以信任为重要纽带。人们对于社会的常识，都是基于相信陌生人这一前提。”

“China is originally acquaintances society。”On high said，Is fei xiaotong several decades ago, put forward the concept of sociology，According to the relationship that people、Inside and outside、Born cooked degree，The different treatment and communication different objects，The personal relationships between people，Constitute one see web of relationships，Social in outside the system，According to the network weft operation。“Strangers society”Is quite different，“People to trust each other for important link。People for society of common sense，Are based on trust to a stranger this premise。”

　　当年，费孝通先生未必想到，今日中国的熟人社会正在迅速向陌生人社会转变：随着市场经济的发展，社会流动频繁，人们随工作等因素迁徙，身份制度逐渐瓦解，熟人关系网不再有效覆盖人际关系，旧的信条受到挑战，越来越多的社会交往在陌生人之间发生。费孝通先生大概更想不到网络会以全球流行方式改变中国年轻人的人际交往，但他的判断现在看来依然没错：只有当一个社会成为“陌生人社会”时，契约、制度和规则才能有效运作，才能保护个人权益，人与人之间才能建立起互信关系。

That year，Fei xiaotong may not think of，Today, the acquaintances society is rapidly to strangers society transformation：With the development of the market economy，Social flowing frequently，People work with factors such as migration，Identity system gradually collapse，Acquaintances is no longer effective cover interpersonal relationships，The old creed challenged，More and more social interaction in happened between strangers。Fei xiaotong probably more unexpected network will be in the global popular way change the young Chinese communication，But his judgment now is still right：Only when a society become“Strangers society”when，contract、System and rules to operate effectively，To protect individual rights and interests，People can be established between mutual relations。

　　但是，没有信任陌生人传统的社会，在转型中不免产生忧虑：能相信陌生人吗？怎样和陌生人相处？微博上、论坛里、QQ群中，几乎人人都在抱怨人与人之间越来越缺乏信任，一连串的社会热点事件也在冲击大众的信任：去年9月武汉88岁老人离家不到100米摔倒，无人敢扶，窒息身亡；南京老人等车时倒地昏迷，七八位市民只敢远距离地打电话给120；今天7月初湖南省娄底市邓锦杰救人后溺水身亡，被救者不辞而别；最新的一则消息是，公交车上老人犯病倒下，司机大喊“车上有监控，大家尽管救”……

but，Not trust strangers traditional society，In the transformation in the unavoidable produce anxiety：Can trust to a stranger？How to get along with strangers？Micro blog、BBS in、QQ group in，Almost everyone is complaining about the lack of trust between people more and more，A series of hot social event will also impact in the trust of the general public：Last September 88 years old in wuhan from home less than 100 meters down，No one dare to help，Suffocation died；Nanjing old man, the car down coma，QiBaWei citizens only to distance to call 120；In early July LouDeShi hunan province today after DengJinJie save drowned，BeiJiuZhe leave without saying goodbye；The latest news is，On the bus the old man fell sick，The driver yell“Vehicle monitoring，Though everyone save”……

　　陌生人社会已近在眼前，很多国人却还没建立起相应的思维方式和行为规范。人们普遍的心态是自相矛盾：一方面心向温暖，一方面保持警惕；一方面对陌生人处处提防，一方面抱怨“人性冷漠”；一方面指责他人“麻木不仁”，一方面提醒亲人朋友遇事别“出头”。而如果不能建立良好的社会信任，社会运行成本会大大增加。弗朗西斯·福山说过：一个信任只局限于家庭成员的“低度信任社会”，人们不得不付出巨大的成本来与陌生人之间达成某种形式的“信任”，这对经济和社会的运行都会造成显著的伤害。

Strangers society already very near，Many americans still don't set up corresponding way of thinking and behaviour。People common mentality is paradoxical：On the one hand the heart to warm，On the one hand to be alert；On one hand, wary of strangers everywhere，On the one hand complain“Humanity cold”；On the one hand blame others“insensitive”，On the one hand to remind his relatives and friends don't“s”。And if you can't build a good social trust，Society will greatly increase the operation cost。Francis fukuyama said：A trust only limited to the members of the family“Low-grade trust social”，People have to pay huge cost to strangers and reached between some form of“trust”，The economic and social operation can cause significant damage。

　　我们必须承认中西方的社会发展差别，很多理念不能照搬互信体制早已成熟的西方社会，但改变是必要的、有益的，也是能够实现的。我们可以从最低限度的信任和互助开始做起，每个人都可能就此成为最初那只扇动翅膀的蝴蝶。

We must admit that the difference between Chinese and western social development，Many idea cannot copy mutual trust system had mature western society，But change is necessary、beneficial，Also can realize。We can from the minimum mutual trust and to start，Everyone may be the original on the flap of only the butterfly。