在杭州19楼论坛上，一则抱怨孩子花钱没概念的网络交流帖中，有一位妈妈的心得引起记者的注意。

In hangzhou on the 19th floor BBS，A complaining that the child didn't spend money of the concept of network communication in the post，There is a mother's experience cause the attention of the reporters。

　　一个即将念初二的孩子，这个暑假独自坐火车去北京玩。自己做攻略安排行程，住在亲戚家，打理自己的饮食起居，自己洗衣服、整理房间。身边揣着妈妈给的五百块现金和几十块自己收集家中废品积攒的私房钱。用这些钱去吃自己最感兴趣的小吃，请亲戚吃饭表示感谢，剩下大半还带回杭州。

A teenager children to read，This summer alone go to Beijing by train to play。Do strategy arrangements，Live in relatives，Take care of themselves in their daily life，Wash his clothes、Finishing room。The mother side chuai to five hundred pieces of cash and dozens of block their collection home scrap saved case-dough。Use the money to eat their own most interested in snacks，Please thank relatives to eat，Most of the rest is back to hangzhou。

　　这个在“众星捧月”的孩子堆里迥异的小小旅行家，是如何炼成的？昨天，记者找到了在很多家长眼里显得“胆子太大”的妈妈戈女士，请她谈谈“另类”的育儿观。

In this“ZhongXingPengYue”Children in the pile of different small traveler，How is produced？yesterday，Reporter found in many parents eyes appear“Courage too big”Mother gerben lady，Please talk to her“alternative”Educational view。

　　独立性培养 Independence training

　　第一次出远门，妈妈让10岁的他管行李 The first out of town，My mother asked ten years old he tube baggage

　　小鱼（化名）的妈妈戈女士是从事外贸工作的，每年，她都要外出旅游。自从有了小鱼以后，她就经常带孩子一起出去，在她的潜移默化下，小鱼也成了旅游迷。

fish（alias）Mother gerben lady is engaged in the foreign trade work，Every year，She has to go out tourism。Since after small fish，She often take the children go out together，In her youngest，Derek fisher has become tourism fan。

　　小鱼第一次跟妈妈出远门，是去敦煌。那时他才10岁，跟着旅游团。飞机、火车或大巴上搬运行李，都是小鱼负责。“他管东西比较仔细，不用我提醒他。”10岁的小男孩力气还不够大，搬行李很吃力，但小鱼表示要自己搬。戈女士说，她没有像其他父母那样阻止孩子，舍不得孩子受累，而是很尊重儿子的选择，只有小鱼实在不行了再帮一把。

For the first time small fish with mother out of town，Is to dunhuang。At that time he was 10 years old，Follow tour。The plane、The train or bus carrying luggage，Is responsible for the small fish。“He tube much more carefully，I don't remind him。”10 years old boy strength also is not big enough，Luggage was very difficult，But fisher said to his move。Gerben lady said，She didn't like other parents that prevent children，To be children，But very respect the choice of the son，Only small fish true not line again for a。

　　每次旅行，戈女士收拾行李异常细致，考虑周到。跟着妈妈多次旅行的经历，小鱼也学会了自己整理行李，带多少换洗衣服，准备哪些药，都由他说了算。

Every time I travel，Gerben lady pack anomaly meticulous，thoughtful。Many times with my mother travel experience，Fisher also learned his arranging luggage，How much change with clothes，What medicine to，From his word。

　　妈妈的信任，也让小鱼成长很快。

Mother's trust，Also let fish grow fast。

　　去日本旅游，小学五年级的他能一人回宾馆

Travel to Japan，Primary school grade five of he can a man back to the hotel

　　小学五年级，小鱼跟着妈妈去日本。在目的地，小鱼觉得不舒服，想去宾馆休息。“要妈妈陪还是自己回去？”“我认识路，自己可以。”于是，戈女士把自己的手机交给小鱼，再在他身上放了一张宾馆的名片。

Primary school grade five，Derek fisher to Japan with my mother。At the destination，Small fish feel uncomfortable，Want to go to the hotel to rest。“To mother accompany or oneself back？”“I know the way，can。”so，Gerben lady his own mobile phone to fish，Then on him put a name card of the hotel。

　　“我很放心让他一个人回去，同去的朋友却很担心，纷纷劝阻我"他不懂日语迷路怎么办，遇到坏人怎么办？"

“I am very at ease let him back，Go with friends is very worried，Have discouraged me"He did not understand Japanese lost，Meet the bad how to do？"

　　不过，小鱼用行动打消了大家的顾虑，“他很顺利到了宾馆，休息好了就在房间看电视。”戈女士说。

but，Fish out of the action in everyone's concern，“He is very well to the hotel，A good rest in the room watching TV。”Gerben lady said。

　　“很早的时候，我们跟他交代过一些最基本的安全常识，在学校也会有安全教育。这些他都做得很好。”

“early，We told him with some of the most basic safety knowledge，In the school also can have safety education。These he did very well。”

　　去日本旅游的那次，同行的朋友也带了一个小孩。“这父母比较粗心，经常把孩子搞丢，很多次都是小鱼帮着找回来。后来他们干脆把孩子交给小鱼管，小鱼也很尽职尽责，每次出去都紧紧地牵住小孩，我也乐意让他承担起哥哥的角色。”

The trip to Japan，Friends in the same industry also brought a child。“This is careless parents，The child often get lost，Many times are fish help to find。Then they simply take the children to the small fish tube，Derek fisher is very conscientious，Every time to go out to all tightly hold the child，I will be happy to let he took on the role of the brother。”

　　独自去北京，他按妈妈要求做了详尽的攻略 Go alone Beijing，According to his mother required to do a detailed strategy

　　小鱼第一次独自坐火车外出旅游是在小学毕业那年的暑假。

Derek fisher alone for the first time by train is traveling in elementary school graduation that year summer vacation。

　　“没有去读小升初的衔接课程。我和他爸爸工作忙，抽不出身，就和他商量让他自己出门玩。”戈女士说，当时考虑再三，觉得北京是不错的选择，因为有亲戚在那边。

“Did not go to another read the bridging course。I and his father work favour，Couldn't born，And he let himself go out to play。”Gerben lady said，Think twice when，Think of Beijing is right choice，Because have relatives in there。

　　加上今年这次暑假的北京之行，已是他第二次独自出行。

Add this year summer vacation's trip to Beijing，Is he the second travel alone。

　　“我要求他自己做旅游攻略，他很乐意，去书店查书、上网查资料，做了筛选，给自己安排了九天的行程。”戈女士说。

“I asked him to make tourism strategy，He is very happy to，Go to the bookstore to find the book、Check the Internet，Made screening，Give yourself arranged nine days of stroke。”Gerben lady said。

　　有了第一次独自去北京的经验，这次做起北京游的攻略，小鱼得心应手，主要内容是感兴趣的美食和博物馆，包括地址、电话和详细路径。

Have the first go alone Beijing's experience，With the Beijing travel strategy，Fisher handy，The main content is interested in food and museums，Including address、Telephone and detailed path。

　　“在博物馆看到很多感兴趣的东西，比如航天博物馆看的东西太多，我待了一天。”小鱼总结他的这次旅行，学会了找当地人问路、交流心得，觉得很有用，“比较遗憾的就是北京的亲戚因为担心我一定要陪着，其实我很希望独自出去，但是交流后无果。”小鱼说。

“In the museum to see a lot of interesting things，Such as Space Museum to see things too much，I for one day。”Derek fisher concluded his this trip，Learned to find local directions、Exchange experience，Feel very useful，“Comparative regret is that Beijing's relatives because worried that I must accompany，Actually I'm hoping to go out alone，But after exchange ended。”Fisher said。

　　“很多人会说我，怎么放心让孩子一个人坐火车出远门。”戈女士的“胆大”经常会被同事朋友视为“异类”。“其实我觉得没什么，孩子有你意想不到的能力，只是在大人的呵护下没有体现的机会而已。”

“A lot of people would say I，How to trust the child a person take the train out of town。”Gerben lady“bold”Often colleagues as friends“heterogeneous”。“In fact I think nothing，Children have you unexpected ability，Just in the adult care under no chance to reflect it。”

　　戈女士说，小鱼属于“放养”型孩子，“我们对他说最多的话就是希望他能管理好自己。”

Gerben lady said，Fisher belong to“stocking”Type children，“We said to him the most word is hope he can manage yourself。”

　　小学三年级，在大部分孩子还需要家长接送时，小鱼已经学会自己上学放学。

The primary school is grade three，In the majority of children need parents when shuttle，Derek fisher has learned to their school to go to school。

　　“我们早上上班早，晚上回来晚。他放学能一个人回家并把饭烧好，等我们回来做菜。”因为等爸妈回来时候往往已饥肠辘辘，小鱼慢慢学会自己做菜，煎牛排、香肠，炒鸡蛋，他有不少拿手菜。小鱼父母有时同时出差，小鱼必须一个人在家，他照样能照顾自己吃饭睡觉，第二天按时起床上学。

“We go to work early in the morning，Come back late at night。After school he can a person go home and cook the meal well，When we come back to cook。”Because such parents when I come back already often hungry，Learn to cook fish slowly，Fried steak、sausage，Scrambled eggs，He has a lot of specialty。Derek fisher parents sometimes at the same time on a business trip，Small fish must be a person at home，So he can take care of myself food and sleep，The second day get up on time to go to school。

　　金钱观培养 Terms training

新加坡游学，别人花光钱他却带回了一半 Singapore travel，People spend money but he brought back half

　　在今年年初的新加坡游学，小鱼更是体现了一个小小旅行家的素养。

In the beginning of the year of studies in Singapore，Derek fisher is reflected a small traveler's literacy。

　　临行前，小鱼去了书店，买了一本关于新加坡的书，研究当地风俗、景点、特产、美食，分门别类在本子上记录好。自己整理好行李，把妈妈给的“零用钱”分两部分，身上放一部分，钱包里装一部分，他说，万一掉了钱，还能有回旋的余地。

Before I leave，Small fish went to a bookstore，Bought a book about Singapore's book，The local custom、attractions、speciality、food，Categorization on the notebook to keep good records。Tidy up his luggage，The mother gave“allowance”Is divided into two parts，Body part put，Wallet with part，He said，One thousand lost money，Still can have room for manoeuvre。

　　考虑到一些自费项目，戈女士给小鱼600美金。有同学到当地第一天就买名牌太阳镜、数码产品，花光了零花钱。

Considering some project at one's own expenses，Gerben lady to fish $600。Some students to local first day to buy brand sunglasses、Digital products，Spend the money。

　　小鱼却只花掉300美金，还带回300美金，花费中除了给自己买的玩具和一些零食，大部分用来给家人买礼物。每份礼物都不贵，却很有心，比如给外婆的是一双筷子，上面有外婆的姓，给妈妈买了一盒瑞士巧克力，因为妈妈担心发胖，特地挑了脱脂的，给爸爸在机场免税店买了几小瓶洋酒。

Small fish but only cost 300 dollars，Also back to $300，In addition to spend to buy toys and some snacks，Most of the family is used to buy gifts。Each gifts are not expensive，Is cored，Such as to my grandma is a pair of chopsticks，It has the grandmother last name，To give mom bought a box of Swiss chocolate，Because mom worried about fat，Specially picked skim，Give dad at the airport duty free shop to buy a few small bottles of liquors。

　　游学中，小鱼的精打细算发挥作用。他发现机场的汇率比当时在杭州了解到的要不划算，就没换新币，后来到了别的换钱点换了一部分，并买了当地的电话卡给家里报平安，后来，别的同学打电话回家都是借用他的卡。

In travel，Fisher's pinch pennies play a role。He found that the airport exchange rate than was in hangzhou to understand or bang for the buck，Haven't in Singapore dollars，Later at the other money point in a part of，And bought the local phone card to home to tell them that they are safe，later，Other students call home is to use his card。

　　因为事先做了功课，他对当地的很多风土人情能说出个所以然，成了同学们的“小导游”。

Because prior to do the homework，He told the local a lot of local conditions and customs can say a concourse，Became of the students“Small guide”。

　　“这一趟游学，我一路看下来，对他真正的好处是他学会提前做好研究、计划用钱。”戈女士说。

“This train travel，I see all the way down，To his real benefit is he learn to study well in advance、Plans to use the money to。”Gerben lady said。

把家中的废品交给孩子收集处理 The children home scrap to the collection and handling

　　对于儿子的理财观培养，戈女士也很有一套，她会让小鱼管理家中的废品。废报纸、杂志、箱子、罐子等，让孩子收集，让他定期找人来收购。这部分的收入全都归小鱼支配。有时候攒了很久、很多的废品只能换来几块钱。这些让小鱼觉得赚钱很不容易。

For the son's financial management concepts culture，Gerben lady is a，She'll let fisher in the GuanLiGu waste。Waste newspaper、magazine、box、Cans, etc，Let the children collect，Let him get on a regular basis to buy。This part of the revenue to dominate all fish。Sometimes save for a long time、A lot of waste product can only for a few dollars。These let fisher feel it's not easy to make money。

　　在生日的时候，小鱼会拿自己卖废品积攒的零花钱请好朋友吃冰激凌或喝饮料。这些在他能力之内的事，让他觉得自己很“牛”。

At the time of birthday，Small fish will take oneself sell scrap saved pocket money please good friends to eat ice cream or drink。These in his ability of within，Let him feel very“cattle”。

　　戈女士说，在很多中国父母眼里，总觉得孩子是长不大的，其实，孩子不仅会长大，而且远比父母想象的要能干得多，“给一个大范围，只要在你圈定的范围内，就放手让他去做自己喜欢的事吧。”

Gerben lady said，In many Chinese parents eyes，Always feel the child is long not big，In fact，Not only children grow up，And than parents might think much more capable，“Give a big range，As long as you within the scope of the outline，Just let him to do the thing that oneself like。”

　　最后，戈女士对记者说： “小鱼一直希望能有真正完全意义上的单独外出旅行，如果下一次，他选的是相对安全的地方，没有野外求生、治安不良的情况，做的攻略得到我的认可，我会完全放手的。”

finally，Gerben lady told reporters： “Small fish have been hoping that I could have real and complete sense of traveling alone，If the next，He selected is a relatively safe place，No field survival、Security bad situation，Do strategy to get my approval，I'll let it go completely。”

　　记者手记 Reporter notes

　　学会享受孩子带来的惊喜 Learn to enjoy children bring surprise

　　采访过不少家长和孩子，小鱼和他的妈妈，绝对是“少数派”。

Interviewed many parents and children，Derek fisher and his mother，Is absolutely“minority”。

　　现在，很多家长和孩子的关系，大多是两种：“提要求就好，无条件满足你”、“这些对你不好，不可以做”。

now，A lot of parents and child relationship，Are mostly two：“Asked good，Unconditional meet your”、“These is bad for you，Not to do”。

　　前者，家长宠溺孩子，很少有原则或在孩子的“高分”面前放弃了原则。后者，家长是强硬派，把自己的意愿强加在孩子身上，不给孩子表达的机会。

The former，Parents spoil drowned children，There are few principle or in the child's“High marks”Give up before the principle。The latter，Parents are hardliners，Put on your desire in children，Don't give them the opportunity to express。

　　“无条件满足”会让孩子越来越“说不得”，日益高涨的物质奖励，也会让孩子慢慢没了兴趣；而“强硬派”的“大家长”习惯给孩子安排好一切，甚至代替孩子思考。

“Unconditional meet”Will let the child more and more“unspeakable”，A rising material rewards，Also can let the child didn't interest slowly；and“hard-line”of“Big parents”Used to arrange everything well to the child，Even children instead of thinking。

　　而小鱼和他的妈妈，是一切可以商量着来，母子关系更如朋友。

But fisher and his mother，Is all can consult to，Mother and child relationship more like friends。

　　小鱼的独立、懂事、节俭，是在成长中一点一滴积累起来的，他在妈妈放手中学会了什么该做，什么不该做，应该怎么做，他都有自己的思考。小鱼妈妈的“胆大”不是盲目的，她很了解自己的孩子，她也是一次次地“考察”孩子，给的自由，也是慢慢多起来的。

Fisher's independent、sensible、thrift，Is growing every little bit of accumulated，His mother to let go in the learned what to do，What not to do，Should do，He has his own thinking。Fisher mother's“bold”Not blind，She is very knows his own child，She is also repeatedly“investigation”children，Give freedom，Is also slowly up。

　　面对“放养”，小鱼妈妈也曾动摇过，纠结过。但她坚持下来了，“让孩子学会管理自己，比拿个高分更重要。”

In the face of“stocking”，Derek fisher mother also had wavered，Ravel a。But she insists on down，“Let children learn to manage yourself，More important than with a high score。”

　　我们当中，很多人在抱怨孩子“高分低能”，或是怒气冲冲地对孩子说“这是为你好”。可曾想过，我们对孩子学会放手了吗，学会享受孩子带来的惊喜了吗？

us，Many people are complaining that the child“High scores low energy”，Or spoke angrily to the boy said“This is good for you”。Have you ever thought，Our children learn to let go，Learn to enjoy children bring surprise？