许多女人会抱怨，丈夫非要在一些生活的重要关头，比如妻子身患重疾，发生外遇等时候，才能将自己对妻子的爱表达得热烈而深情，让她们感到丈夫是重视自己的。而在此之前，大多数男人总是行色匆匆，他们不擅长表露感情，不擅长说“我爱你”，这使得女人为此经常感觉丈夫不爱自己。

Many women will complain，The husband must in some life important moment，Suffering from serious illness such as his wife，Occur when an affair, etc，To love for his wife's love to express warm and affectionate，Let them feel the husband is pay attention to their own。And before this，Most men are always in a hurry to depart，They are not good at express feelings，Not good at said“I love you”，This makes a woman to often feel husband don't love their。

　　到底是为什么呢？是否男人和女人在表达感情的方式上有所区别，才使两性间产生误解？又是什么原因使得男人不轻易流露自己的感情呢？

It is why？Whether men and women in the expression of feelings differ in how，To make misunderstanding between the sexes？What is the reason for men is not easily reveal your feelings？

　　的确，两性在婚姻生活中的表现经常有差异：女人希望男人深情热烈，对自己呵护备至，最好每天说一遍“我爱你”，有亲昵的小动作；而男人会觉得女人过于感性，女人总是在期待浪漫的发生，追求细节，过于情绪化。

indeed，Gender in marriage life performance often have differences：Women expect men to ardently，Take good care of yourself，Every day the best said again“I love you”，A honeyed petty action；And a man will feel a woman too emotional，The woman is always looking forward to the occurrence of romance，Pursue the details，Too emotional。

　　为什么男人不喜欢情绪化呢？事实上，平心而论，那些含蓄而内敛的男人，可能并非不爱自己的妻子，但是什么影响了他们热烈地去表达自己的感情？是什么让今日的男人，喜欢装成深沉、严肃的刚强男人？又是什么让他们热衷于克制自己的情绪呢？

Why don't men like emotional？In fact，Give the devil his due，The connotation and inside collect man，May not be doesn't love his wife，But what influences their ardently to express their feelings？What makes this man，Like to pretend to be dark、Serious strong man？What let them keen to refrain from his own emotions？

　　回忆男人的幼年时期，他们的“特定”玩具是冲锋枪、小汽车等。从小时候起，男人就被规定和一切硬色调的玩具打交道，培养所谓的坚毅、冰冷的“男人性格”。男人摔破了膝盖，再疼也是不能哭的，因为我们的社会认为哭泣不是男人的表现。

Memories of childhood man，their“specific”Toy is a submachine gun、Cars, etc。Since he was a child，The man was regulations and all hard tonal deal toys，Cultivate the so-called consistency、cold“Man character”。The man broke the knee，And pain is also can't cry，Because of our social think crying is not man's performance。

　　父亲在教导儿子时，通常会说：你要像个男子汉。至于什么是男子汉呢？社会给他设定了标准，就是不轻易流露感情，克制情绪。对女人即便充满爱，外表也要不在乎，因为混迹于脂粉堆里天天围着女人转的男人，不像个男人。理想中的“男子汉”要做经天纬地的大事情。

Father son in teaching，Usually say：You will be like a man。As for what is a man？He set the standard for the society，Just don't easily reveal feelings，Restraint emotional。Even to the woman full of love，Appearance also don't care，For mixed with cosmetics pile of every day turn around the woman of the man，Don't like a man。ideal“man”A panoramic view to do the big things。

　　在这种教育中长大的男人，学会了沉默。他们宁愿去酒馆喝得大醉，或者埋头拼命工作，也不愿轻易向人诉说生活的忧伤，因为，男人有“必须像个男人”的压力。

In this education grew up in man，Learned silence。They would rather go to the pub for got wasted，Or sunk work hard，Don't let easily to people tell the sadness of life，because，Men have“Must be like a man”pressure。

　　文化从男人生下来的第一天起，就热衷于给男人“造神”的运动。即男人任何时候都应该是刚强的，在困难面前不轻易流露软弱，似乎男人没有七情六欲，男人是一个刚强的符号，否定了其有血有肉的一面。

Culture from male life down the first day，Is keen to give man“God made”movement。That man at any time should be strong，In the face of difficulty is not easily reveal weak，Seems the man have no desires，Man is a strong symbol，Denied its flesh side。

　　这些观念使男人一旦进入婚姻后，觉得自己一旦在女人面前过多地流露感情，会使他的七情六欲(包括脆弱的一面)流露在女人面前，而结果是自己的“刚强神话”被摧毁，自己不符合大男人的标准，因此不能做到外表上对情感不在乎，不能掌握婚姻的主动权，不能控制妻子。

These ideas make man once in marriage，Feel once in front of women that show too much feelings，Will make his desires(Including weak side)Reveal in front of women，And the result is his own“Strong myth”destroyed，Their big man does not conform to the standard，So can't do it on the surface of emotions don't care，Can't grasp the initiative of marriage，Can't control his wife。

　　而在男权文化中，婚后的女人便是男人的私有财产，许多男人认为，一纸婚约就是将这一所有权合法化的标志。因此，结了婚自然高枕无忧，不需要再费尽心机去经营维护婚姻。所以，还需要像婚前那样，对妻子无微不至，体贴周到吗？

And in the patriarchal culture，Married woman is man's private property，Many men think，A paper engagement is the legalization of ownership of the mark。therefore，Married natural rest easy，Don't need to bend over backwards to operation maintenance marriage。so，Still need to like that before marriage，To his wife meticulously，Thoughtful?？

　　男人还反映，他们在社会生活中残酷厮杀和竞争，回到家后，只想休息身心，不想过多地表达感情。这可能和两性参与社会竞争的程度有关，即传统观念认为，一个女人在社会生活中不成功，可以天经地义地在丈夫的庇护下生活，但男人只能直面严酷的生存压力，这是他们变得沉默的重要原因。

Man also reflect，They in social life fighting and cruel competition，Returned home after，Just want to rest and，Don't want so much to express feelings。This may and amphoteric participate in social competition related degree，Namely traditional concept that，A woman in social life is not successful，May god's truth to her husband in the shadow of life，But man can only face harsh survival pressure，This is the most important reason they became silent。

　　而生物学家可能会指出，两性在情感表达方式上是天生有区别的，比如女人喜欢情绪化，男人偏于理性化。这或许也可以解释男人为什么不爱表露自己的感情。

And biologists might point out，Gender in emotional expression is born with a difference，Such as women like emotional，The man be rational。Perhaps this may explain why men love express your feelings。

　　而女人对婚姻的认识也影响着她们的失落心情，许多女人将婚姻看成是生活的唯一，看成是安全感的重要来源，这种原因可以追溯到文化的源头。当原始社会有了家庭以后，女人总是在家里抚养孩子，操持家务，等待丈夫出外打鱼捕猎，回来养家。缺少婚姻和一个男人的庇护，当时的女人就有可能衣食无着。经济上的依赖感是女人格外依赖婚姻的重要原因之一。

And the woman to the marriage the understanding also affects the loss of their mood，Many women will be marriage as the only life，As an important source of security，The reasons can be traced back to the source of the culture。When primitive society have the family later，The woman always at home in the raising a child，housework，Waiting for her husband fishing out hunting，Back support。The lack of marriage and a man's asylum，When a woman is possible with no food and clothing。Economic has is a woman particularly dependent on one of the important reasons for marriage。

　　所以，比起许多男人外表对婚姻视若闲云，许多女人则希望男人每天说一遍“我爱你”，这可能不仅仅因为女人爱浪漫，还和女人希望得到男人的承诺，加强自己对婚姻的安全感不无关联。

so，Compared with many men appearance to the marriage apparent if clouds，Many women expect men to say again every day“I love you”，This may not only because women love romance，Also and women hope to get man's promise，To strengthen their sense of security of marriage is associated。

　　总之，更多的时候，丈夫对妻子表现淡然，可能并非是丈夫不在乎妻子，或者夫妻感情浓度在退化，两性不应该为此产生误解。分析原因后，进行良好的沟通，才能为维持一个美满的家庭而共同努力。(曾小亮)

In a word，More time，The husband to his wife had performance，May not be a husband doesn't care about his wife，Or couples concentration in degradation，Amphoteric should not for this misunderstanding。Analysis reasons，Good communication skill，To maintain a happy family and work together。(CengXiaoLiang)