老人为何每天“折腾”女儿送鸭血粉丝汤—— The old man why everyday"flounder"Daughter sent duck blood noodle soup --

精神养老，银发一族的心灵呼唤 Spirit endowment,Silver gens mind calling

　　昨天下午2点，南京鼓楼区淮海路社区一家老年公寓。80岁的张老太见65岁的女儿没有按时送饭，便“罢吃”食堂午餐。直到女儿气喘吁吁赶到，递上鸭血粉丝和赤豆元宵两个饭盒，老人才开心用餐……望着女儿离去的背影，老人喃喃自语：“吃鸭血粉丝是假，让她每天来看我才是真。”

2 o 'clock yesterday afternoon,Nanjing GuLouOu huaihai road community a old apartment.The 80 - year - old woman saw a 65 - year - old daughter didn't send meal on time,and"Eat""Cafeteria lunch.Until the daughter panting arrived,Pass duck blood fans and red bean rice glue ball two lunch box,The old man just happy meal...Looked at the daughter leave of figure,The old man murmured to himself:"Eat duck blood fans are false,Let every day she came to see me is true."

　　护工赵阿姨悄悄告诉记者，老人入住3年，每天让女儿送鸭血粉丝上门已有2年，其实都是孤单闹的。而赵阿姨有所不知，全南京200多家养老机构、2万多名入住老人中，每天都在上演类似令人心酸的“折腾”话剧——老人不满足“一床三餐”，在用“无理取闹”等异样行为，呼唤精神养老和心理抚慰。

Care zhao aunt quietly told reporters,The old man in 3 years,Every day let daughter sent duck blood fans the door for 2 years,Actually all is alone make.But zhao aunt don't know something,The whole nanjing than 200 endowment mechanism/More than 20000 at the old man,On every day in similar makes a sad"flounder"Drama - the old man not satisfied"Three meals a bed",in"Make trouble without a cause"Strange behavior such as,Call spirit endowment and psychological comfort.

“我不要钱，要你花时间陪我” "I don't want money,Will you spend time with me"

　　“都说养老院的老人‘作’、不听话，其实都是亲情缺失的过度反应。”昨天，秦淮区老年公寓陈院长给记者讲了一件院里上周发生的事：

"Said the old man home‘for’/Not obedient,Actually all familiy is the excessive reaction."yesterday,QinHuaiOu old apartment dean Chen to reporter told a yard of things happened last week:

　　最近天气转凉，79岁的李老太得了急性肠胃炎，需挂水治疗。护工立即打电话通知在外省跑车的儿子，儿子答应两天后赶回，让养老院先送母亲去医院。可老太太不依了，不仅不就医，还故意在风口坐了半天，活生生把自己冻进医院。

Recently the weather turns cool,The 79 - year - old LiLaoTai have acute gastroenteritis,Need to hang water treatment.Care immediately call in the provincial sports car son,Son promised to back in two days,Let a nursing home to send mother to the hospital.But the old woman was not,Not only don't go to a doctor,Also deliberately in the tuyere sat for half a day,Living their frozen into hospital.

　　两天后，当儿子拿着200元钱和补品赶到医院时，她一把攥住儿子的手说：“你不许走。我不要钱，只要你带我看病、陪我住院。”

Two days later,When the son take 200 yuan and supplements to hospital,She hold a living son hand said:"You are not allowed to go.I don't want money,As long as you take me to see a doctor/Accompany me in hospital."

　　儿子也要挣钱养家，哪能在医院长陪？只有拜托我说服老太太。但治愈出院后，老人的脾气变得更坏了，经常骂儿子“不孝！”说“儿女不要上什么班，天天围着我才是真孝顺。”有次，儿子说“家里的孙子小，也要照顾”。没想到，李老太当众训斥道：“你们就是疼小的不要老的，有了孙子不要老娘！”

Son also want to earn money for the family,How can long in hospital with?Only please I convince the old lady.But cure after discharge,The old man's temper got worse,Often scold son"unfilial!"said"Children don't go up what class,Every day around me is true filial piety."once,Son said"The son of home small,Also want to take care of".Didn't expect,LiLaoTai public reprimand way:"You are hurt small don't old,A grandson don't old niang!"

　　“虽然李老太的要求有点过分，但确有一些子女将父母往养老院一送，就再不露面。有的连中秋、春节都不来看看，怎不让老人心寒？而心寒的老人，你又怎能指望他心胸宽阔、包容一切？”陈院长入情入理地分析道。

"Although LiLaoTai for much too much,But there is some children will parents to resthome a send,Just don't show up.Some even the Mid-Autumn festival/The Spring Festival is not to see,How not to let the old man chilling?The old man and chilling,How can you expect him liberality/Bears all things?"Chen dean perfectly logical and reasonable analysis way.

“我没有钱，母亲却开心地叫‘哥哥’” "I have no money,Mother is happy to call‘brother’"

　　“不听话，大便又不言语了。”55岁的张国明佯装生气，迅速为母亲换尿布。可87岁患有轻度老年痴呆的黄月如老太，却呵呵笑着，叫“哥哥”。

"Not obedient,Shit and not the words."55 years of age ZhangGuoMing sham angry,Rapid for mother diapers.But 87 years of age with mild alzheimer's HuangYueRu woman,But smile ha ha,call"brother".

　　母亲一直跟他过。2年前母亲开始“乱”了。有一天下班回家，见母亲正把塑料盆放在煤气灶上煮，吓得我魂都没了。后来，我就把母亲送到附近的淮海路老年公寓。

Mother has been live with him.Mother began to two years ago"disorderly"the.One day came home from work,See mother is the plastic basin in gas burner on cooking,Frighten my soul is gone.later,I will give the mother to the elderly apartment near huaihai road.

　　兄弟6个就我下岗，每月只拿几百块钱，但有大把时间，我自告奋勇，每天来照顾妈妈，给她擦屎端尿。他说，我像55年前妈妈照料我那样照料她，哄她开心，喂她点心。你看，妈的脸色多好！这几年病情也没加重，还认人了。我稍稍来迟，妈妈就站在门口叫“哥哥”，这是我修来的福分啊。

Brother six I laid-off,Monthly only take hundreds of dollars,But there are big time,I saw,To take care of my mother every day,Give her wipe excrement end urine.He said,I like 55 years ago mother take care of me like that to look after her,Coax her happy,Hello she snacks.You see,Mom looks much good!Over the past few years the illness also didn't increase,Also recognize a person.I was a bit late for,Mother stood in the doorway call"brother",This is my practice to blessing ah.

　　擦拭完毕，张国明挽起妈妈胳膊，在院子里散步。一旁的李奶奶则满脸羡慕地驻足凝望——她儿子已有3个月未沾边了。

After wiping,ZhangGuoMing rolled up mom arm,Walk in the courtyard.One side of grandma li is a full face of envy ground to stare, her son for 3 months not during the.

　　南京脑科医院老年精神科主任李海林告诉记者，养老院，通常是老年人心理、精神疾病的高发区，其中很大程度上源于老人太孤单，缺少亲情滋养。而像黄月如老太，即使患了病症，如果得到良好的精神赡养，也能延缓症状。

Nanjing brain hospital psychiatric elderly LiHaiLin director told reporters,Nursing home,Usually the old psychological/The high mental illness,Among them largely from the old man too lonely,Lack of affection nourish.And like HuangYueRu woman,Even suffering from disease,If get good spirit support,Also can delay the symptoms.

再高档的养老院不能替代亲情 To high-grade nursing home cannot replace affection

　　“不管是居家养老还是在养老院，儿女都要经常探望。物质再充裕，远不及一声问候、一个拥抱来得温暖。在敬老院，护工对老人再好，毕竟是外人，血缘关系是根植于内心的，老人对亲人有天生的依赖，哪怕抽出一个小时去看望，老人也会开心一整天。”省人民医院临床心理科主任医师贺丹军说。

"Whether family endowment or in a nursing home,Children are often visit.Matter abundance,Than a salute/A hug come warm.In yixian home for the,Care for the old good again,After all is a stranger,Blood relationship is rooted in the heart,The old man loved to have a natural dependence,Even if take an hour to visit,The old man will also be happy all day long."Province people's hospital clinical psychological division chief physician HeDanJun said.

　　“哄”好过“吼”。南京脑科医院医学心理科主任心理师李万贵说，都说“老小孩”。人老了，身体各方面都会退化，包括思维、味觉、嗅觉等。他们有自己的人生经历和记忆，子女不要想着改变他们或否定他们。要尊重和理解老人的想法，因为这是他们的世界观和人生观。与老人打交道，互不妨碍是最好的状态，凡事顺着老人一点，不要太较真。这也是精神赡养应有的姿态。

"coax"better"roar".Nanjing brain hospital medical psychology of director of division of mental division LiWanGui said,said"Old children".People old,The body will degenerate,Including thinking/taste/Smell etc.They have their own life experience and memory,Children don't change their thinking or deny them.To respect and understand the idea of old man,Because this is their world outlook and outlook on life.Dealing with the old man,No interfere with is the best state,The old man all things a bit,Don't struggle so much.This is the spiritual support due attitude.

　　老年人也要增强心理调适能力，要多与同龄人交往，多参与社区活动，不要苛求子女“天天相伴”。子女志在四方，也是现代社会的发展趋势。

Old people also want to enhance psychological adjustment ability,With more concerned,Much to participate in community activities,Don't criticize their children"Accompanied by every day".Children aspire to,Is the trend of the development of modern society.

　　前天，记者随南京市梅园、后宰门等9个社区的20位独居老人，参加了栖霞寺踏秋登高活动。“我玩得很开心，感觉年轻了十几岁，都亏了这些志愿者。”80岁的詹道德爷爷告诉记者。的确，正因为有像“一家圆心灵保姆中心”、“爱在成长”志愿服务队等公益组织，才圆了很多老人“重阳登高”之梦。无疑，民间公益组织，是精神养老不可或缺的新生力量。(见习记者 李 刚 陈雨薇 吉凤竹 记者 林培 韩 涛 葛灵丹)

The day before yesterday,Reporter with nanjing meiyuan/And after the door of nine community 20 a old people who live alone,Attended the QiXiaSi step autumn uphill activities."I enjoyed it very much,Feel young teens,All lost these volunteers."The 80 - year - old chim moral grandpa told reporters.indeed,Is because there are like"A round mind nanny center"/"Love in the growth"Volunteer service of public organization, etc,Just round a lot of old man"The double ninth festival ascent"dreams.undoubtedly,Folk public welfare organization,Is spirit endowment indispensable new blood.(Trainee reporter li just ChenYuWei JiFengZhu reporter LinPei Korea all out Gregory)