口述 巧云 55岁 退休

Oral Emily 55 years old retired

　　巧云前几年丈夫病逝，与女儿相依为命。虽然舍不得女儿出嫁，但眼见女儿年届三十，也不由得着急起来。女儿在网上认识了一个男孩子，相处半年，准备谈婚论嫁。巧云和准亲家商量婚事时，为了房产证加女儿名字的事，闹得两家不开心，小情侣也分手了，女儿整天闷闷不乐，她愧悔不已。

Emily husband died a few years ago，And daughter depended on each other。Although loathe to give up her daughter married，But seeing the daughter of thirty，Also couldn't help try so hard up。Her daughter in online to know a boy，Get along with half an year，Ready to talk about marriage theory to marry。Qiao clouds and must consult in-laws marriage，In order to house property card and the names of the daughter，With two unhappy，Young couple also broke up，Daughter moping around all day，She was in a dogfighting operation。

　　丈夫病逝 母女相依

Her husband died mother and daughter together

　　我是一个很平常的女人，我只希望家人平平安安，就是我最大的幸福。

I am a very common woman，I only hope that family safely，Is my greatest happiness。

　　我的人生轨迹也和我的同龄人差不多，家里兄弟姐妹多，得不到父母的过多关注，在平平凡凡中长大，然后读书工作，结婚生子。

My life trajectory and I almost peers，Home brothers and sisters，Don't get too much attention of the parents，In PingPingFanFan grew up in，Then read the work，Marry and have children。

　　我的丈夫是我同厂的同事，他对我一直都很好。我们两个在一起的时候，都是他在照顾我。刚结婚的时候，我连烧菜都不会，都是他每天上班回来，烧好饭给我吃的。我只负责一些洗洗刷刷的家务。后来生了女儿之后，我慢慢才学会烧菜、做饭。丈夫还特别心灵手巧，不要说什么电工之类的活儿，就是家里有些什么小家具，比如女儿的小板凳、小黑板等等都是他自己一手一脚做的。有丈夫在，我觉得家里大小事情都有依靠，什么都很放心。女儿也算乖巧懂事，学习成绩虽然不是最拔尖的，但也一直都在中上游，读书也很自觉。青春期的时候，除了不太爱和我们做家长的说话，也没有什么特别叛逆的举动，基本上，从小到大都没有让我操心过。

My husband is my colleagues with factory，He has always been very good to me。The two of us together of the time，He was the care of me。Just got married，I won't cook，Is he back to work every day，And a good meal to eat。I only responsible for some washing and scrubbing the housework。Later gave birth to daughter later，Slowly I learned to cook、cooking。Her husband still special are practical，Don't say what electrician and work，What is the house is some small furniture，Such as the small wooden bench daughter、XiaoHeiBan etc are his own hand a foot。A husband in，I think that rely on the size of the house，What all is at ease。Daughter also calculate clever sensible，Study result though not the best，But also have been reaches，Reading is also very consciously。Adolescence when，In addition to love not so and we do the parents to talk，No special rebellious moves，basically，From didn't let me worry about。

　　到我50岁退休那年，本来以为终于可以得享安逸的晚年。却没想到，就在这年，丈夫查出来患了晚期肝癌。我一下子接受不了这个打击，没日没夜地流眼泪。这时候，倒是女儿比我更坚强，一个劲儿地劝我要保重身体，还要照顾爸爸。我想想也是，只要有一分希望，就要尽力去给丈夫治疗。丈夫自己也很乐观，至少当着我和女儿的面，他从来都没有表现出难受的样子，总是劝我们多休息。但我和女儿当然没有听他的，天天都在医院里陪着他。

To retire at the age of 50 I that year，Thought can finally have to at ease of old age。But didn't think，In this year，Her husband found out had advanced liver cancer。At once I can not accept this blow，No day and night to tears。This time，Daughter is more than me strong，A relentlessly advised me to take good care of yourself，Had to take care of my father。I think is also，As long as there is a chance，Will try to give her husband treatment。Husband oneself also very optimistic，At least in the face of my daughter and I，He never show of distress，Always advised us more rest。But my daughter and I of course not to listen to him，Every day in the hospital with him。

　　为了治丈夫的病，我们家的积蓄几乎全用在了进口抗癌药上。丈夫让我不要买太贵的自费药物，反正也拖不了多久的，只要我们母女能陪着他到最后，他就安慰了。我听了更是难过，只有悄悄地瞒着他，继续用最好的药再给他医治。结果，一年多以后，丈夫还是过世了。留下我和女儿在这世上相依为命。虽然我们已经很早就有了心理准备，但是面对至亲的离世，仍然心痛难忍。

In order to put to her husband's disease，Our family savings with the import almost all in on cancer drug。Husband let me not to buy too expensive drugs at one's own expenses，Anyway also drag not how long，As long as we can with his mother and daughter to the end，He comforted。I heard is sad，Only quietly keep him，Continue to use the best medicine to give him to heal。The results，After more than a year，The husband or passed away。My daughter and I were left in this world depended on each other。Although we have very early has a psychological preparation，But in the face of loved ones from the world，Still heartache to endure。

　　丈夫的后事，都是亲戚们一起帮忙料理的。而我很久都走不出那个阴影，每天茶不思饭不想，也睡不好，两个月瘦了10斤。每天抱着丈夫的遗物，窝在床上，有时候整天都不想起床，更不要说出门去散心。我最难过的时候，多亏了我女儿的悉心照料。她天天在我身边，做饭给我吃，照顾我，陪我说话，劝我想开些。她的陪伴，让我感觉到丈夫不在了，可女儿还在我的身边，我还有个寄托，还有女儿要照顾。于是，开始了和女儿相依为命的生活。

The husband woke，Are all the relatives to help arrange。And I go out for a long time the shadows，Every tea don't think rice don't want to，Can't sleep well，Two months lost 10 jins。Holding the belongings of husband every day，Nest in bed，Sometimes all day, don't want to get up，Don't even say out the door to trip。I'm sad，Thanks to my daughter's care。Her every day in my side，Cooking dinner for me to eat，Take care of me，Accompany me to speak，Advised I'd like to open some。Her company，Let me feel the husband is not，But her daughter was still in my side，And I have a hope，And the daughter to look after。so，Start and daughter depending on each other life。

　　女儿孝顺 恋爱不顺

Love not filial daughter

　　女儿自从失去了爸爸之后，人虽然比以前更懂事、更听话了，但是性格却也变得沉默内向了。除了我之外，她都不太爱与人交流。那时候，她刚开始工作没多久，因为爸爸的病，她长期请假，领导有意见，后来就只能辞职了。她爸爸过世后，她又在家陪了我很长时间。等到我心情慢慢好转之后，女儿才又出去工作。

Daughter since lost after dad，Although the person more sensible than before、More obedient the，But the character was also become silent introverted。Besides me，She doesn't like talking with people。At that time，She started the job soon，Since my dad's disease，Her long leave，Leadership have opinions，But later had to quit his job。After her father's death，She was at home with me a very long time。Wait until my mood after a little better，Only daughter and go out to work。

　　可是，虽然她开始正常工作了，但是很长一段时间，她都没有像其他同龄女孩子那样谈恋爱。我问她，她总是说，“现在没什么心情，等待缘分吧”之类的。我也不好再说她什么，知道她跟她爸爸感情一直很好，我受的打击，她也感同身受。一直到前两年，她才开始谈了两次朋友。但这两次恋爱经历，都不是特别顺利。第一次，是女儿以前公司的上司，女儿单相思，一开始就暗恋着那个王总。她说喜欢王总为人稳重、做事有魄力，有中年男人的气场，外形却不那么老气。

but，Although she began to work properly，But for a long time，She didn't like peers as girls in love。I asked her，She always said，“Now nothing in the mood，Waiting for the fate,”,。I can't say she??????，Know that she and her father has been very good feelings，I was hit，She also empathy。Until two years ago，She began to talk about the two friends。But the two related experience，Were not very well。first，Is the daughter of the previous boss，Daughter unrequited love，A beginning has a crush on the WangZong。She said WangZong like a man of poise、Work there is energy，A middle-aged man flow of qi，Appearance but not so old fashioned。

　　女儿一直默默关心着王总，主动加班帮王总做事，平时有什么累活也是她第一个抢着上。后来，终于等到一个单独相处的机会，她跟王总表白，王总却说自己不能接受她的情意，因为他在老家有老婆孩子。女儿一下子就受伤很重，觉得不能再继续面对他，只能在还没有找好下家的情况下就匆匆辞职。

His daughter has been silent WangZong concerned，The initiative work overtime to help WangZong do，What is she at ordinary times especially first rob up。later，Finally waited until a chance alone，She told WangZong vindicated，WangZong said you can't accept her love，Because he is in their hometown have wife and children。Daughter was were badly injured，Think can't continue to face him，Only in haven't find good next homes of cases to in a hurry to resign。

　　女儿在家一边休息，一边找工作。我也安慰她，说她还年轻没经验，以后看人就会多带双眼睛了。虽然只是没有开始就结束的暗恋，但是女儿在一年多之后，又再次恋爱。那个恋爱对象年纪跟她差不多，是朋友介绍的。听女儿说，男孩子脾气不是很好，比较暴躁，出了什么问题不是先在自己身上找责任，而是喜欢先推给别人。当然，一开始他并没有表现出这样的脾气，到了经常相处之后，才慢慢暴露出来的。

Daughter at home while the rest，Side looking for work。I also comfort her，Said she is young didn't experience，After looking at will take double eyes。Although just didn't start the end of unrequited love，But more than a year after her daughter in，And love again。The love object with about her age，The friend is introduced。Listen to the daughter said，Boys temper is not very good，More violent，What the problem is not in himself, first find responsibility，But like first onto others。Of course，The start, he showed no such temper，To often after get along，Only slowly did come into the open。

　　女儿一开始都是忍受着，觉得他大多数时候对她还是蛮好的，可时间一长，男孩越来越没耐性，经常在公开场合也会冲着我女儿发脾气，我女儿就不能忍了。我也劝她说，这样不稳重的男孩子，还没结婚就这么毛躁，要是结了婚以后，脾气不是要更大了？让她想想清楚。

His daughter is a began to endure，Most of the time he felt for her or fine，Can a long time，The boy is more and more impatient，Often in public will also shouted at my daughter loses his temper，My daughter can't bear。I advised her to say，So it is not the dignified boy，Still not married so short-tempered，If after married，Temper is not to be more big？Let her think clearly。

　　后来，女儿就跟这个男孩子分手了。虽说是性格不合，自然分手，但女儿还是不开心了很长时间，还责怪自己为什么总是看错人。我一边安慰她，一边也动员身边的亲戚朋友帮她介绍对象。但是，折腾了很多次相亲，都没有找到合适的对象。时间过得飞快，女儿都要30岁了，不仅她自己有些着急，连我也开始越来越担心，为了这事，还经常睡不好。

later，My daughter is to the boy broke up。Although it is a personality conflict，Natural break up，But the daughter still not happy for a long time，Also blame yourself why always see the wrong person。I part comfort her，On one side and persuading relatives and friends to help her introduction object。but，A time mutually close a lot，Did not find the appropriate object。Time flies by，Daughter to 30 years old，Not only her own some worry，Even I also began growing concerned，For this thing，Also often sleep。

　　一见钟情 谈婚论嫁

Love at first sight to talk about marriage theory to marry

　　后来，有一天女儿很高兴地告诉我，她又谈恋爱了。对方是在网上认识的，两个人通过网上的联系，慢慢有了感情，后来就到现实生活中见面。见面下来，两人感觉都不错。女儿还说，对那个小海她几乎是一见钟情。她说小海长相非常阳光帅气，而且人也随和。虽然是第一次见面，但因为有了之前网上的联络，所以两人感觉就像老朋友一样，可以无话不谈，非常亲切。两人从吃晚饭一直聊到饭店打烊，还意犹未尽。后来，两人就常常见面，没多久之后，就确立了恋爱关系。那阵子，女儿每天都很开心，不经意间都会笑着，哼着歌曲。看到她这么开心，我也觉得很高兴，希望这次女儿能和小海结成正果，毕竟女儿年纪也不小了，我还主动让女儿叫小海来我们家吃饭。

later，One day the daughter very glad to tell me，And she fell in love。The other party in the understanding of the Internet，Two people through the Internet connection，Slowly with feelings，But later to meet in real life。Meet down，Two people feel good。Daughter also said，For the small sea she almost was love at first sight。She said small sea looked very much sunshine handsome，And people also easy-going。It was the first time we meet，But because of the online before contact，So two people feel like old friends，No words can don't talk，Very kind。Two people from dinner talked until hotel closing，Also boundless。later，Two people often meet，Not long after，With respect to establish a relationship。NaZhenZi，Daughter are all very happy every day，Casual will smile，Humming a song。See her so happy，I also feel very happy，Hope this daughter can form small sea and fruit，After all, daughter are no longer young，I also actively let daughter called small to our house for dinner。

　　5个多月以后，女儿说小海已经让她见过他爸妈了。小海和他爸妈都表示想要结婚的意思，还说约我过去和他们一起吃个饭，讨论下结婚的事情。我听了之后很开心，但是又觉得婚姻大事不能马虎，而且她爸爸也不在了，就我一个人，我也不知道是不是能处理好，也怕女儿以后会吃亏。所以我就打了很多电话，问周围嫁过女儿的亲戚朋友。问问他们，结婚之前应该和对方谈些什么，怎么样才能最大程度地保障女儿的利益等等。结果，很多人都劝我，如果对方有婚房的，一定要把我女儿的名字加上，否则按照新婚姻法，婚前财产是没有对方的份的。

Five months later，Daughter said to have let her big saw his parents。And his parents say big wants to marry mean，Also said about my past and together they eat a rice，Discuss the things get married。After listening to me very much，But they also felt marriage cannot careless，And her father is gone，I be a person，I also don't know if I can handle，Also fear that after his daughter will be at a disadvantage。So I just made lots of phone calls，Ask around married to her daughter's friends or relatives。Ask them，Before the wedding should talk with each other??????，How can ability maximum guarantee the interests of the daughter and so on。The results，A lot of people are advised me，If the other side has the marriage room，Must give my daughter's name added to it，Otherwise the new marriage law，The belongings before marriage is not each other's a。

　　我当时听了他们的话，觉得很有道理。于是，就在和小海爸妈见面的时候，提出了在婚房房产证上加上我女儿名字的条件。我跟他们说，我现在和女儿两个人相依为命，我希望女儿能够得到些保障。小海的爸妈听到以后，当场脸上就有些不开心，只说让他们回去再考虑考虑。后来吃饭的时候，他们就不像刚开始的时候那样热情了，基本上都没说什么话就散席了。

I had listened to their voice，Feel very reasonable。so，In the small and meet my parents，Put forward the marriage room house property card with my daughter name terms。I told them，I now and daughter two people depended on each other，I hope to be able to get some security daughter。The small sea parents heard later，The face is some unhappy，Only let them go back to consider said consideration。Then have a meal of the time，They don't like at the beginning of the enthusiasm like that......，Basically all did not say what the words, they SanXi。

　　几天之后，女儿哭着跟我说，小海说她了，说房子是他爸妈买的，不加女方的名字也很正常的。还很生气地问她“到底是嫁他这个人，还是嫁给他的房子。”女儿很委屈，其实这个条件是我提出的，她并没有一定要加名字。但是她在小海面前，还是帮我说话，说我是为了她好，才会这样的。所以，就和小海经常为了这件事情争吵。每次吵完回来，她都要关在房间里哭好一会儿。

After a few days，Daughter cry to say with me，Small said she was，His parents said the house is bought，Do not add the name is very normal。Also very angry to ask her“What is he the man married，Or to marry his house。”Daughter very grievance，In fact this condition I put forward，She didn't have to add a name。But she is in before the small sea，Help me to speak or，Said I was to her，Will such。so，And to this matter big often quarrel。Every time the noisy back，She will shut up in her room for a cry。

　　不到一个月，她就跟我说小海提出和她分手了，理由是她太不懂事，提出的要求让他们家大人不开心，以后恐怕也不会做一个好儿媳。

Less than a month，She just like I said put small sea broke up with her，Reason she's so doesn't know any better，The demands of the adult don't let them home happy，Later I'm afraid would not do a good daughter-in-law。

　　和小海分手之后，女儿整天都沉默寡言，没事就把自己锁在房间里，饭也吃得很少，整个人瘦了一大圈。我很心疼，劝她想开些。男朋友可以再找。她只是不说话，默默地流眼泪。看着女儿这样日渐消沉，我心里觉得很愧悔。如果女儿是和小海真心相爱的，何必在乎房产证上是不是有她的名字。可是又觉得小海他们家反应太激烈，有什么不满的还可以再谈，为什么一下子就要分手，把我女儿害得那么难过。

And small sea after break up，Daughter silence all day，Nothing will lock yourself in your room，Rice also eat very little，The whole person thin a circle。I very distressed，Advised her to want to open some。Boyfriend can get。She is just not to talk，Silently tears。Look at the daughter is so depressed，I felt very dogfighting operation。If your daughter is small and sincerely love each other，Why care about house property card has her name on it。But thought their house is too fierce big reaction，What is the disgruntled can also talk about，Why suddenly will break up，Give my daughter harm so sad。

　　我很想要为女儿去做点什么，却又不知道到底该如何去做。

I very want to daughter go do something??????，But they don't know exactly what to do。

　　有心快语

Intentional KuaiYu

　　放下面子主动求和

Put down the face active peace

　　男主持人 落落而语

Male host and set and language

　　巧云女士现在面临的最大问题，可能是放不下面子，去向小海的家人求和。

Emily woman now face the biggest problem，May be too stubborn，To the small sea family peace。

　　但是，什么事情比女儿的终身大事更要紧的呢？想办法先把小海的家人约出来，把事情的始末说清楚，两家再好好谈谈。

but，Anything better than her daughter's married more important？Think of a way to put the big family about it，The information of the things clear，Two to talk about。

　　如果是怕女儿婚后利益没办法保障，除了房产证加名字之外，也可以有别的方法，比如婚前协议之类的，可以与男方家长共同商量。

If it is afraid of daughter married interests can't guarantee，In addition to house property card name and beyond，Can also have other method，Such as the prenuptial agreement and so on，Can the man heads together with parents。

　　解铃还需系铃人

Better is the bell to people

　　女主持人 言言成诠

The hostess &she into interpretation

　　所有的事情都会有一个源头，那么既然起因是巧云。那就要靠这个系铃人去解开当事人的结。

All things have a source，So now that cause is Emily。That will depend on the department to solve the knot of the parties。

　　首先要和小海说清楚，在房产证上加名字的事情和女儿无关，再把女儿分手后的消沉情况告诉他，让他知道女儿是如何爱他。

First to big and clear，Add in the house property card name things and daughter have nothing to do，Again the daughter of depression after break up to him，Let him know that his daughter is how to love him。

　　如果能解开误会的，就鼓励小情侣再重新开始，条件什么的，能想开也不是那么重要，只要小海和他们家人能对女儿好，就是婚姻最大的保障。

If can solve the misunderstanding，To encourage young couple to start again，Conditions of what，Can want to open is not so important，As long as they can to small and her family，Marriage is the biggest safeguard。