◎ 采 　访：朱砂 Mining visit money:vermilion

◎ 专家支持：刘勇 复旦大学社会工作学系督导 Money expert support:Fudan university, department of social work supervision

上海杨浦区复馨社工师事务所总干事 Shanghai yangpu district complex scented social work division office director-general

　　上班时侃侃而谈，下班后沉默寡言，无心关注生活的细节，对生活失去热情。你的身边也有这样的亲人或者朋友吗？近日，一项针对“下班沉默症”的调查显示，八成受访者感到自己不同程度上有这样的状况。是什么造成了都市人在办公室和家中截然不同的状态？我们又该如何应对？

Speaking at work,Silence after work,Pay attention to the details of a life,To life lose enthusiasm.Your side also have such relatives or friends?recently,a study of"Silent disease after work"Survey shows that,Eighty percent of respondents felt different extent have this situation.What caused the urbanite in office and home very different state?We have this how to deal with?

【事件回放】 [Event playback]

　　有媒体对2750人进行的一项调查显示，83.1%的受访者坦言自己不同程度上有“下班沉默症”。其中，34.7%的人明确认为自己有，48.4%的人认为自己“有一些”。“工作以外我喜欢发呆，或是观察儿子的一举一动。”刘沛辰是一家网站的文字编辑，平日里和同事们有说有笑，对待工作认真，但他会尽量避免下班后的同事聚会等活动，回到家也是“惜字如金”。刘沛辰表示，他的同事和朋友中也有一部分和他有类似的情况，尤其在白领中较为多见。

Media of 2750 people of a survey,83.1% of respondents said their different extent"Silent disease after work".the,34.7% of the people think they have clear,48.4% of the people think"There are some"."besides work I like in a daze,Or observation son's every move."LiuPeichen is a website text editor,Daily and colleagues talking and laughing,Treat work earnestly,but he will try to avoid after work colleagues party and other activities,Returned home is also"unfailingly".LiuPeichen said,His colleagues and friends also some and he had a similar situation,Especially in white-collar more see more.

　　(来源：《海口晚报》)

(source:[Haikou evening news])

A“疲惫”让他不想说话 a"exhaustion"Let him do not want to speak

　　有调查显示，近60%的人认为下班沉默的原因是工作压力太大，让人感到疲惫，希望得到宁静的休息空间。现代人对于成功的追求越来越强烈，加上物质要求不断提升，自我价值与经济地位相关联，让人们越来越强烈地去追逐经济利益。为了提高工作所带来的经济利益，人们不得不不断提高工作的效率和做事的频率，花最少的时间做更多的事情。很多人只想着尽力扮演好自己的职业角色，而很少关注自己的情绪和心理，随之而来的就是巨大的压力和焦虑情绪，并且两者之间会相互影响，不断激化对方，最终造成负面情绪加剧。

Research has shown that,Nearly 60% of people think that after work the silence of the reason is that too much stress on the job,Let a person feel tired,Hope to get quiet rest space.Modern people for the pursuit of success is more and more intense,Plus material requirements continuously improve,Self value and economic status associated,Let people more and more strongly to pursue economic interests.In order to improve the economic benefits of a work,People have to constantly improve our work efficiency and work frequency,Spend at least time to do more things.a lot of people just want to try to play their own professional role,and paid little attention to their own emotional and psychological,Following is huge pressure and anxiety,and between the two will influence each other,Intensified each other,Resulting in negative emotions aggravate.

　　还有一些人，由于与他人交流太多，而出现了厌恶情绪，甚至出现排斥与他人的情感交流。刘勇身边就有这样的朋友，每天上班就是忙于开会、讨论、电话、和客户沟通，午餐时间常常用于弥补上午的未尽事务和准备下午的工作，下班后常常还要加班，等回到家，整个人犹如一根放松下的弦，再也提不起精神来。刘勇发现，“我的这位朋友以前还比较喜欢走走亲戚，和朋友出去聚会、游玩，可是现在常常抱着抵触的情绪。对他来说，上班消耗了太多的脑力和精力，下班后只想着能得到休息，以便明天能有精力去应对工作、生活上的各类问题。对他来说，家庭、朋友等可以用来舒缓、调节情绪的途径完全变成了一种负担。”

There are some people,Due to the communication with others too much,and appeared aversion,appear even rejection and other people's emotional communication.beside, there is such a friend,Work every day is busy at the meeting/discuss/telephone/and customer communication,Lunch time often used to make up for morning not completely affairs and ready to work in the afternoon,after work and often work overtime,back to home, such as,The man is like a piece of string to relax,Never lift not spirit., found,"My friend ago also prefer to visit my relatives,Go out with friends party/play,but now often hold conflict emotions.For him,Work consumes too much mental and energy,after work just to get a rest,So that tomorrow can have energy to deal with work/Various problems in life.For him,family/Friends, etc can be used to relieve/adjust mood way completely become a kind of burden."

B“勾心斗角”的工作环境让他不敢说话 b"Intrigue against each other"Working environment let he dare not speak

　　在个案咨询中，不少职场人士向刘勇说出了自己的为难。在和同事聊天或私下交谈中，无意中说了对上司或领导的意见或不满后，结果被同事打了小报告。更有人故意先说一些针对领导或上司的不满，引诱当事人发表意见，然后将当事人的言论或断章取义或添油加醋地去向领导告状，以此来打击当事人。

In the case of consulting,a lot of people, workplace to tell the dilemma.In and talk to your co-workers or in private conversation,accidentally said to the boss or leader opinion after or discontent,The result is about colleagues played.More people deliberately say first some according to the leadership or the dissatisfaction of boss,Seduce the parties comment,Then will the parties of speech or of out of context or add oil to add vinegar to go on leadership,In order to strike the parties.

　　于是，“病从口入祸从口出”，成了很多职场人的黄金法则。一句不经意之间流露出来的话，很可能成为竞争对手陷害自己的杀手锏。因此三缄其口、三思而行、沉默是金就成为保护自己的基本方法。久而久之，某些人成了惊弓之鸟，工作中出于自我保护的行为慢慢成为一种生活习惯，能不说的话就不说，能不发表的观点就不发表。有的人还会利用网络的方式，用虚拟的身份在网络中和其他人进行交流。

so,"a close mouth catches no flies a fool's mouth is his destruction",become a lot of workplace golden rule.a casual reveal between words,May well become a competitor against their ace in the hole.Therefore remain silent/Think twice/Silence is gold becomes the basic method to protect themselves.as time passes,Some people became so frightened,Work out of self protection behavior slowly become a living habits,can not, you can not say,can not published point of view is not published.Some people have used the network mode,Use virtual identity in the network to communicate with others.

C“下班沉默”伤人又伤己 c"Silence work"Hurt and hurt himself

　　马斯洛的需求层次说中将人的社交需求放在第三层次。当生存需求和安全需求得到满足后，个体就会出现对爱、情感和归属的需求，他渴望朋友、爱人、团体中同事之间的良好关系。除了接受爱以外，个体还有给予爱的需求，包括家长对子女的爱，对他人的同情等等。人是群体性的动物，需要与他人建立关系来获得支持，一个缺乏社交需求的人会因为感受不到身边人的关怀，而对自己活在这世界上的价值感到彷徨。

Maslow's demand levels will be said of the social demand in the third level.When survival demand and security needs have been fulfilled,The individual will appear to love/The ownership of the feelings and needs,He is eager to friends/lover/Group of good relationship between colleagues.In addition to accept other than love,The individual and to give love needs,Including the parent's love for her children,compassion for others and so on.Man is group of animals,Need to build relationships with others to get support,a lack of social demand will because not feeling beside the person's care,but to yourself to live in this in this world feel fluctuating value.

　　繁忙的工作往往会让人们忽略了家庭的重要性，忽略了家庭角色对于自我角色的期望，而一味地按照自己的想法和需求选择生活的方式，没有很好地考虑家人的感受。刘勇分析说，下班沉默的人中有一部分会通过网络、短信等方式与他人交流，另一部分则自我封闭，不与他人沟通。前一类型的人会因为忽略家庭的沟通与亲情的建立而造成对于家人的伤害，后一类型的人则会因为自闭的行为让自己和家人受到更大的损伤。两类人都可能因为忽略了现实生活而对生活失去热情，由于缺乏现实的情感交流而引发某些心理的问题。

busy job often makes people ignored the importance of family,Ignore the family role for self role expectations,and blindly according to their own ideas and demand choice way of life,Not very good to consider the feelings of family.analysis, said,The silence of the work of part will through the network/SMS way of communication with others,The other part is closing in on itself,Don't communicate with others.a type of person before because of ignoring family communication and the establishment of the affection caused by damage for the family,after a type of people would be for autistic behavior let oneself and family will be more damage.Two kinds of people are likely to ignore the real life because of life lost enthusiasm,Due to the lack of realistic emotional communication and cause some psychological problems.

D离开办公室时提醒自己转换角色 D when you leave the office remind yourself role conversion

　　对于“下班沉默”的人们，刘勇指出，职场中的自我保护固然重要，但是应该分清楚工作和休息的关系和界限，不论工作多忙，有多少烦恼，一定要记住一点：工作的目的是为了我们更好地生活，但是千万不要变成了工作的奴隶。一旦离开了工作场所就要尽可能地告诉自己，现在应该转换到休息的角色，并将一天的烦恼都留在办公室里面。回到家时要注意自己作为家庭成员的角色。网络和短信等现代电子工具的沟通并不能代替现实生活中的交流。主动与家人沟通，经常陪家人一起看电视、聊天，每年安排时间和家人一同外出游玩，营造一个美好的家庭生活环境。

for"Silence work"people,, points out that,Job field of self protection is important,but should distinguish the relationship between work and rest and boundaries,No matter how busy work,How many troubles,Must keep in mind:The purpose of the work is for us to better life,but don't become slaves to their job.Once out of the workplace will tell yourself as much as possible,Should now switch to the role of the rest,and will be a day of trouble in their offices.When he returned home to pay attention to his role as a member of the family.Network and text messages and other modern electronic tools communication and can't take the place of communication in real life.active and family communication,Often watch TV together with my family/chat,Every year time and family to go out and play together,To build a good family life environment.

　　如今的都市人，在工作生活中，的确都会面临不小的压力，参与一些压力管理和情绪控制的课程或查阅相关资料，寻找一些适合自己的缓解压力的方法，有助于帮助压力下的人们轻松面对工作与生活。此外，繁忙的工作是否挤压掉了曾经的兴趣爱好？拾回自己的兴趣爱好，找一些志同道合的朋友，经常搞一些活动，也可以关注一下社区内组织的活动，融入其中既可以丰富自己的生活，又可以和社区中的邻居建立好关系。

Now urbanite,In the work life,Indeed will face a lot of pressure,Participate in some stress management and emotional control course or refer to the relevant material,Looking for some suits own alleviate the method of pressure,Under pressure to help people relaxed in the face of the work and life.In addition,busy job whether extrusion off once interest?Pick up to his interests,Find some friends,Usually make some activities,can also pay close attention to the activities of the organizations in the community,Integrate into one can enrich their life,and in the community and neighbor to establish good relationships.

　　从企业的角度，刘勇提醒说，企业的领导人应该从人本关怀的角度，关注员工的身心健康，建设良好的员工社交平台，支持员工之间建立和谐的人际关系，经常组织开展一些集体活动，最好是能吸纳员工的家人一同参与的活动，既能增加员工彼此的交流，又能够促进家庭的和睦。(朱砂)

From the point of view of the enterprise,, reminding that,Enterprise leaders should be from the point of view of humanistic care,Pay attention to the staff's physical and mental health,construction good employee social platform,Support between staff to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships,Often the organization carries out some collective activity,It is best can absorb employees participate in the activities of the family,can not only increase the exchange of staff each other,and can promote the family harmony.(vermilion)