找对象，先看看你的手指？ Find object，See first that you finger？

　　贾雷德·戴蒙德对妻子玛莉可谓一见钟情。他很是迷恋这位和自己身高、体格，甚至头发和眼珠颜色都相同的女子。

Jia red diamond, to his wife Mary was love at first sight。He is so infatuated with the and his height、physical，Even hair and eye color are the same woman。

　　但他还是觉得哪里不对劲儿。直至一次去看芭蕾舞演出，他们在使用双筒望远镜的时候，这位日后的美国艺术与科学院、国家科学院院士才恍然大悟。

But he still think where is wrong。Until a go to the ballet performance，They are using the binoculars，The future of American art and academy of sciences、National academy of sciences to take a tumble。

　　原来，玛莉需要缩短目镜的水平距离，才能将镜筒对准眼睛。戴蒙德发现，这位心上人双眼的距离比较接近，而他之前追求的女人，眼睛都和他一样，分得比较开。“还好玛莉的耳垂与其他特征抓住了我，不然我和她两眼距离不相配，还真不容易妥协。”戴蒙德感叹说。

The original，Mary need to shorten the eyepiece horizontal distance，Can the lens cone alignment eyes。Diamond found，The sweetheart binocular distance closer，And his pursuit of the woman before，Eyes are like him，Share is open。“Also good Mary's earlobe and other characteristics caught me，Or I and her eyes distance doesn't match，Return true not easy to compromise。”Plaint saying diamond。

什么，找对象还要看双眼的距离？ what，Find object will see the distance of the eyes？

　　不必大惊小怪。在著作《第三种黑猩猩——人类的身世与未来》一书中，戴蒙德还指出，像耳垂大小、中指长短甚至于肺活量等因素，都可能会成为你挑选意中人的特定标准。这本书也是他著名的《枪炮、病菌与钢铁——人类社会的命运》、《崩溃：社会如何选择成败兴亡》等“人类大历史三部曲”系列之一。

Don't make a fuss。In a book《The third kind of chimpanzees, human life and future》book，Diamond also pointed out that，Like earlobe size、Middle finger length even vital capacity factors，All may become you to pick flowers the specific standard。This book is his famous《guns、Germs, and steel -- the fates of human societies》、《collapse：How to choose the rise and fall of social success or failure》, etc“Human major historical trilogy”Series of。

　　与戴蒙德一样，我们在挑选配偶时，也有着独特的标准。对此，心理学家称之为“搜寻参考意象”，指的是人们在寻找意中人的过程中，不断将身边的人和物与该心灵意象相比较，以便快速做出选择。问题是，这个“心灵意象”又是怎样在心中萌生的呢？我们寻寻觅觅的那个他或她，究竟是熟悉的类型，还是陌生的类型？

As diamond and，When we choose a spouse，Also has a unique standard。this，What psychologists call“Search reference image”，Refers to the people in the process of looking for Mr Right，Will continue to put the side of things and people and the mind image compared，In order to quickly make a choice。The problem is，this“Mind image”How in the heart of initiation？We looking and seeking that he or she，What is a familiar type，Or strange types？

　　经过大量研究，心理学家用统计学中的“相关系数”(即相似程度，范围从-1到1)来做简明表达。配偶之间相关系数最高的项目是：宗教、族裔、人种、社会经济条件、年龄与政治观点；其次是人格与智力等因素。而包括身高、体重、肤色的体格特征，相关系数约为0.2。最令人惊讶的是，夫妻中指长度的相关系数高达0.61。

After a lot of study，Psychologists have the statistics“Correlation coefficient”(Namely similar degree，Range from 1 to 1 -)To do simple expression。The correlation coefficient between couples, the highest project is：religious、ethnic、race、Social and economic conditions、Age and political views；The second is personality and intelligence factors。And including height、weight、Color of skin of physical characteristics，Correlation coefficient of about 0.2。The most surprising is，Husband and wife middle finger length of correlation coefficient reaches as high as 0.61。

　　这就不难理解戴蒙德找对象的独特口味了。我们似乎总喜欢找与自己相似的人结婚。另外，我们的“搜寻参考意象”的确立，从小就开始受我们身边最亲近的异性的影响。

It would not be difficult to understand for diamond object the taste unique。We seem to be always likes to find who are similar to themselves get married。In addition，our“Search reference image”established，As a boy, he began to be our closest to the influence of the opposite sex。

　　那么，与自己最相似、最速配的人是谁呢？答案或许令人尴尬，因为“最相似、最合适的”那个人是我们的父亲或母亲，以及兄弟或姊妹。但出于伦理道德的禁忌，人们是不会与父母或异性同胞结婚的。

so，And your most similar、Who is the man most match?？The answer may be embarrassing，because“The most similar、The most suitable”That person is our father or mother，And the brothers or sisters。But for ethics taboos，People are not with parents or heterosexual compatriots married。

　　你现在是不是正拿出父亲(或母亲)与兄弟(或姊妹)的照片，来对照另一半的面容，看有无相似之处？如果不像，可千万别怀疑自己看错人了。因为我们前面也讲过，宗教与人格特质等因素，比体貌更强烈地影响我们择偶的标准。有时，儿时的玩伴，童年邻家的小妹，也会影响你的“搜寻参考意象”。

Are you are out of his father(Or mother)And brother(Or sisters)photos，To compare the other half's face，Look for similarities？If you don't like，Don't doubt yourself wrong person。Because the front of us also said，Religion and personality factors，More than physical strongly influencing our idea of the perfect mate standard。sometimes，Childhood playmates，Childhood next-door little sister，Can also affect your“Search reference image”。

　　既然如此，我们寻觅伴侣的“参考意象”是先天遗传的，还是后天学来的呢？科学家在鹌鹑、小鼠等动物身上做的相关实验，结果令人深省。

so，We are looking for a partner“Reference image”Is congenital genetic，Or the day after tomorrow? Learn？Scientists in quail、Mice animals such as the related experiments，The result is thoughtful。

　　实验表明，这些动物成员，能够在成长的过程中学会辨认自己的父母(或者养父母)与同胞，等它们成年后，体内也建立起一种程序，来引导它们寻觅理想配偶。理想配偶多与父母、同胞中的异性十分相似，但绝不会是父母或同胞，包括一起长大的异性同胞。

Experiments show that，These animals members，In the process of growing up can learn to recognize their own parents(Or adoptive parents)And compatriots，They are such as adults，The body also set up a program，To guide them look for ideal spouse。Ideal spouse and parents、Compatriots is very similar to the opposite sex，But never is parents or compatriots，Including raised together heterosexual compatriots。

　　戴蒙德还给出另外一份以色列合作农场的观察资料。该农场的孩子自出生就亲密地生活在一起，情同手足。但是据统计，2769个孩子中，虽非近亲，但只有13对喜结连理，并且其中11对是6岁以后才迁入农场的。这也说明不把从小身边最亲近的人作为伴侣，是后天养成的。并且在生命的第一个6年里，我们不仅学会了“什么人必须回避”，似乎还学会了“什么人必须追求”。

The diamond back to another Israel cooperative farm observations。The farm children since birth to live close together，Brotherly love。But according to statistics，2769 children，Though not close，But only 13 to enjoy，And to 11 of them is 6 years old later to settle in the farm。This means that don't take from those closest to the as a partner，Is a second nature。And in the life of the first six years，We not only learned“What person to be avoided”，Seems to be learned“What person must pursue”。

　　现在看看你的先生或太太，同时仔细想想自己的择偶标准，看能不能发现一些童年的影子？(记者 宣金学)

Now look at your husband or wife，At the same time carefully think about their spouse，See if you can find some childhood shadow？(Reporter XuanJin learn)