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　　上周，本报推出《一起聊聊，咋让空巢老人的心房不“空”》的话题新闻，引发不少读者热议。“现在因为各种原因造成的空巢老人越来越多，他们的情感和心态呈现出多样性，但很多人都会面临共同的一个问题，那就是寂寞、空虚和对未来的忧虑。”一位社区工作者致电本报说。

Last week，Our newspaper launched《Talk about，Zha let empty nest old man heart not“empty”》Topic news，Many readers by hot debate。“Now because of all sorts of reasons caused by the old man more and more empty nest，Their emotion and attitude to show diversity，But many people will face common a problem，That is lonely、Empty and for the future of anxiety。”A community worker calls our newspaper said。

　　

空巢故事 Empty nest story

　　

退休老教师，一年内换十来个钟点工 Retired old teacher，A year in ten hour Labour

　　“我就是一个寂寞的空巢老人，请你们帮我发个启事，高收入的退休老教师，急寻一名诚实的保姆给我做饭！”昨天，一位自称姓林的女士拨通本报热线，在与记者交流“空巢”现象时，请本报代寻一名做三餐的保姆。

“I'm a lonely old man empty nest，Ask you to help me send a notice，High income retire old teacher，Nasty found an honest nanny dinner for me！”yesterday，A claim to the name is Lin lady called our hotline，With reporters in communication“Empty nest”phenomenon，Please find our generation a do the nurse of meals。

　　电话中，年过七旬思维清晰的老人做起自我介绍：“我不是本地人，我是上海人，(上世纪)五十年代支教来的河南。我有两个孩子，但他们跟我不怎么往来。”随后，老人在电话中长叹一口气说，“我一个月生活费退休金加起来有好几千，我不缺钱。可我找不到做饭的保姆！她们总是欺负我年龄大，总会顺手偷家里的东西。我结婚时的金项链、我儿子给我买的羊毛披风，都被她们偷走了。”

phone，Years of the s who had clear thinking with the old man introduced himself：“I am not the native，I come from Shanghai，(Century on)50 s to commit the henan。I have two children，But they told me not how exchanges。”then，The old man in a telephone call in long give a sigh said，“I'm a living expenses add up on pension thousands of，I don't lack of money。But I can't find the nurse of cooking！They always bully me age，Always conveniently steal things at home。I got married when gold necklace、My son buy to me of the wool cloak，Are they stole。”

　　弱势的空巢老人被保姆欺负，最方便的求助对象自然是社区员工和辖区民警，记者随即问：“您跟社区的同志反映过吗？”老人在电话里一连说了三句“他们不管我”。

The weakness of the old man was empty nest nanny bullying，The most convenient for help object is natural and the area police community staff，The reporter asked immediately：“With your community comrade reflected off？”The old man in the phone three sentences for said“They no matter I”。

　　老人所在的社区，属金水区某街道办事处管辖。“老太太把我们告到报社啦？”接到记者打来的“问询”电话，社区主任王女士显得挺吃惊。“我曾经在一年之内给她找了十来个钟点工，基本上用不到一个星期就会让人家走人。”王女士说，林老太太辞退钟点工的原因皆是“偷东西”。“为了找到钟点工偷东西的证据，我们每天派人去她家里观察，没发现工人有啥异常举动。”王主任说，大概是嫌弃被监视着干活的滋味不好受，了解老太太脾气的钟点工“口口相传”，不让圈中同事来林家干活。“用不上钟点工，遇到家里马桶堵塞、灯管不亮的情况，社区员工便亲自上阵，谁家里做了好吃的，也不忘给老太太捎上点。她家的电话我们都会背，只要一看来电显示，接电话的人就会喊，‘林奶奶在召唤我们’。”王女士说起这位老太太，语气怜爱中带着怨。

The old man community，A street of jinshui district office of jurisdiction。“The old lady put us against the newspaper to it？”Received from the reporter“information”phone，Ms. Wang appear quite surprised, director of community。“I once in a year to her to seek to ten hour Labour，Basically with less than a week will let people go。”Ms. Wang said，For the cause of the old lady dismiss hour Labour are“Steal things”。“In order to find the hour Labour stealing the evidence，Every day we sent her home observation，Didn't find workers have what unusual。”Wang said，Is probably the work of being monitored abandon is not a good feeling，Understand the old lady of a temper hour Labour“mouth”，Don't let your circle of his colleagues to Lin Lin work。“With hour Labour，Meet home toilet jam、Tube not bright，Community staff will play in person，Who at home the delicious，Also do not forget to the old lady ShaoShang points。Her phone we will carry on the back，As long as a seems electricity display，The person answering the call will shout，‘Lin grandmother in call upon us’。”Ms. Wang about the old lady，Love with hatred in tone。

　　

空巢心情 Empty nest mood

　　

她：每次听到那几句歌词都会心酸 she：Every time I hear that a few words will bitterness lyrics

　　秦女士是国内第一批响应国家计划生育政策号召的独生子女父母，家里只有一个独生子。当老两口生病住院之时，必须要直面“无人陪护”的窘况。

The first lady is the response to the national family planning policy called on only child of the parents，There is only a single son。When the old couple is ill in hospital，Must face“No one accompanying”cases。

　　“我儿子和儿媳妇都在重庆工作，儿媳妇娘家是重庆的，也是个独生女。”年过六十的秦女士说，她和老伴会无奈感叹，当时要是生个姑娘该多好。

“My son and daughter-in-law were in chongqing，Home is the daughter-in-law of chongqing，Is also a only daughter。”Over 60 years of qin lady said，She and wife will but sigh，At that time if to give birth to a girl it。

　　秦女士说，现在家里每天就自己和老伴两个人，排遣寂寞基本靠业余爱好。“他跟朋友合开了个琴行，每天早上去，晚上回来。我一星期去学一次钢琴，平时就在家练琴。”

Ms qin said，Now his wife every day at home and two people，Kill basic depend to a hobby。“He had a shop in conjunction with friends，Every morning to，Night came back。I a week to learn a piano，At ordinary times to practice at home。”

　　秦女士的儿子工作忙，一般是两年回来一次，但他每周会给父母通一次电话。

Qin lady son work busy，General is two years back again，But he will give parents a week through a telephone。

　　“平时有病也不太愿意跟儿子说，怕他跟着担心。今年我犯心脏病时，儿子正好去北京出差路过，帮忙办了住院手续，留了一万块钱。”秦女士说，她最怕生病，可能是性格要强，她不喜欢麻烦邻里，也不想让儿子分心。

“At ordinary times is not too sick to talk to his son said，Afraid of him with worry。This year I made to heart disease，Son just to Beijing on business passing by，To help do the hospitalization procedure，Leave for $ten thousand。”Ms qin said，Her most afraid of sick，May is the character is ambitious，She doesn't like trouble neighborhood，Also don't want to let the son distractions。

　　秦女士对记者说，很多老人都渴望在家养老，家是自己生活了那么多年的地方，实在不想离开。

Qin lady told reporters，Many old people are eager to home endowment，The home is his life so many years of place，Really don't want to leave。

　　“也许有一天我老无所依，请把我埋在在那时光里。”秦女士说，每次听到《春天里》的这几句，她心里都会发酸。“真是不知道等自己年龄再大点，到底该怎么办？自己会在哪儿？”

“Maybe one day I old in "no，Please bury me in that time in。”Ms qin said，Every time I hear《In the spring》Of this a few words，Her heart will be set on edge。“Really didn't know to wait for his age again big points，What to do？Where you will be？”

　　

他：一生单身，最怕周末、过节 he：Single life，The most afraid of weekend、The feast

　　六十岁的谢先生，患有先天性脊膜膨出后遗症，一直没成家。用他的话说，自己本不是个怕孤独的人，但这几年随着年龄的增加，却越发渴望与晚辈交流，哪怕是听他们问一句：“您今天吃的啥？”

Thank a gentleman to sixty years old，With congenital present during sequelae，Hasn't been married。In his words，This is not a fear of his alone，But over the past few years with the increase of age，But the more eager to communicate with the younger generation，Even if it is to ask them：“You eat of what today？”

　　“我以前租房住，现在住在弟弟家的一间小屋里。由于右腿戴着假肢，离开轮椅基本无法出行。”他告诉记者，1992年退休以后，自己一直靠每月1000元的退休金生活，扣除每月的药钱、生活费，基本上所剩无几。请不起保姆，也进不起养老院。“我最怕周末、最怕过节，弟弟一家合家欢聚，我却是孤身一人。侄子们对我也算照顾，可寄人篱下的苦楚，让人一言难尽。”

“I used to rent to live，Now living in the house of brother in a small house。Because the right leg wearing prosthetic，Leave a wheelchair basic cannot travel。”He told reporters，1992 years after retirement，He has been on $1000 a month in pension life，Deduct monthly drug money、Living expenses，Basically there is nothing left。Can't afford nanny，Also JinBuQi nursing home。“I am afraid of the weekend、The most afraid of the feast，Brother a family together，I was alone。The nephew of count me to take care of，Can the suffering of sponsor，Let people it is a long story。”

　　

他们：有一堆孩子，却守着空巢 they：There is a bunch of children，But keep the empty nest

　　像谢先生一样，王女士夫妇也怕过节。两人是离异后再次结合的二婚家庭，双方各自都有子女。

Like Mr. Xie as，Ms. Wang couple also fear the feast。Two people is divorce again after the ErHun with family，Each side has its children。

　　“有一堆孩子，却一样守着一个空巢。”再婚已经十余年的王女士说，没有与现在的老伴结婚前，逢年过节自己的一双儿女还会带着孙子、外甥来看看她，买些日常用品。“我再婚之后，他们说不喜欢我老伴，嫌弃他家亲戚多，不愿与我们来往。”王女士告诉记者，老伴是中牟农村的，家里都是男孩。见父亲在城市里找到了条件还算不错的老伴，老家的孩子们再也不用为父亲养老的事情发愁，慢慢也和两人疏远了。王女士夫妻俩的生活，基本上就是“白天带狗晨练、晚上逛逛公园”。

“There is a bunch of children，But keep an empty nest。”Remarried has more than ten years of ms. Wang said，No and now wife before marriage，Holiday own pair of children will also take a grandson、Come to see her nephew，Buy some daily articles。“After I got remarried，They say don't like my wife，Abandon his relatives，Don't want to go with us。”Ms. Wang told reporters，Wife is ZhongMou rural，Home boy。See father in the city found the conditions are good wife，Their hometown children no longer have to worry about the father endowment things，Slowly and two people drifted apart。Ms. Wang the couple's life，Is basically“The day the dog exercise、Night around the park”。

　　

专家 experts

　　

空巢老人极易产生负面情绪 "Old man easily to have negative emotions

　　据记者了解，在郑州市的200多个社区中，有不少上述几类老人。

According to the reporter understands，In zhengzhou city of more than 200 community，Many of the above a few old man。

　　郑州福斯特心理咨询中心国家一级心理咨询师蔡劲林老师说，空巢老人极容易产生负面情绪，主要因为和他人沟通交流的机会减少从而产生失落感、孤独感。如果夫妻都健在还好点，如果是一个人，这种感觉就尤为突出。

Zhengzhou foster the psychological consultation center national level of psychological counseling ShiCai strength teacher Lin said，"Old man so it's easy to produce negative emotions，Mainly for communicating with others to create the opportunity to exchange reduce loss、loneliness。If husband and wife alive also good points，If it is a human being，This feeling is particularly outstanding。

　　蔡劲林老师分析说，那些性格比较内向、兴趣爱好比较少的老人，不能很快找到支点来支撑自己的生活，情绪不能及时排解，就会导致生活紊乱、抑郁、敏感、多疑、偏执等负面情绪。当老人们生活不能自理或遇到困难需要帮助又得不到帮助时，他们就会觉得活着只能成为社会的负担，失去了自身的价值。有时候老人不想也不愿意承认自己是一个对社会和家庭没用的人。老人年龄大了，思考能力退化，把怀疑这种概念当成一种现实的东西，有些老年痴呆患者常常产生幻觉、幻想，就把它当成真实存在的，而且他们自己意识不到。

CaiJinLin teacher analysis said，The character is introverted、Interest is less old man，Can't quickly found to support its fulcrum of life，Emotions can't resolve in time，Will lead to life disorder、depression、sensitive、suspicious、Paranoid and negative emotions。When old people or the life cannot provide for oneself, need help and difficult not help，They will feel alive can only become the social burden，Lost its own value。Sometimes the old man didn't want to also don't want to admit that he is a social and family useless person。The old man age，Thinking degradation，The suspect this concept as a reality，Some dementia patients often hallucinating、fantasy，Use it as a real，And they can't own consciousness。

　　针对这些情况，我们可以采取以下措施。以子女为例，平时要主动关爱老人，多去看望或者打电话。可以一个月带着孩子去看望老人一次，让这一天成为老人的期待，老人的生活就不会太无望。鼓励父母或身边的空巢老人多参加一些老年人的活动，比如摄影协会、合唱协会等，他们会在积极主动的参与过程中，与同龄人进行沟通，这样就可以相互支持，得到情绪的宣泄，也可以感受情感的流动。

In view of these situations，We can take the following measures。With their children, for example，At ordinary times to be active and love the old man，Many went to see or phone。A month, took the children to see the old man once，Let that day be the expectation of the old man，The old man's life too won't hopeless。Encourage the parents or the side of the old man to take part in some old people attended the event，Such as photography association、Chorus association, etc，They will in the active participation in the process，Communicate with their peers，That can support each other，Get emotional outbursts，Also can feel the emotion of the flow。

　　

征集 solicitation

　　

欢迎说说您的“排空”方法 Welcome to say you“emptying”methods

　　母女连心，工作忙身体不好的女儿为家中八旬老母找来学医的女房客，对女孩零房租，只请女孩在工作间隙用自己的医护常识护理母亲，陪伴母亲。您别不信，这样“代母求租”的事情，还就发生在咱家门口。

Discerner mother and daughter，Work busy body is bad for the daughter of the old house for years old, who female tenants，To the girl zero rent，Just ask a girl in the work of their medical clearance with common sense nursing mother，With her mother。You don't not believe，this“Generation mother asks”things，Also happen in the home。

　　“我家老母亲今年八十多岁了，本应该自己照顾，因为我身体也不太好，上班也忙，就想找个人照顾妈妈。”市民李女士说，她家的零房租住户，是个在省人民医院上班的女护士。“我跟她是通过一个偶然的机会认识的，一听姑娘是外地人，在郑州工作，言谈举止大方得体，我就说起自己的苦衷，请她退掉自己租的房子，搬到我家，跟我妈妈一起住，帮我照顾老人。”或许是被李女士的孝心感动，再加上两人投缘，女孩愿意搬家。如今，女护士在老人家里居住，在工作闲暇时间利用自己的医护常识照顾、陪伴老人，李女士对她零房租。

“My old mother this year more than eighty years old，This should take care of yourself，Because my body is also not very good，Work also busy，Want to find someone to take care of her。”Citizens ms. Li said，Her zero rent resident，In a provincial people's hospital of work female nurses。“I with she is through a chance of understanding，A girl is to foreigners，Work in zhengzhou，Easy and decent behavior，I will speak of their own difficulties，Please she return their rent a house，Moved to my house，With my mother lived together，Help me to look after the old man。”Maybe a ms. Li filial piety is touched，Plus two people in the same wavelength，The girl willing to move。now，Female nurses in the old man living at home，In the work of their leisure time of health care common sense to take care of、Accompany the old man，Ms. Li to her zero rent。

　　“7月18日看了关于空巢老人的报道，我挺有感触。如果有政府职能部门愿意做中介，来保证双方的安全那就更好了。贸然找个陌生人照顾老人，子女不放心，年轻人主动上门去照顾空巢老人也不方便。”她说。读者朋友，如果您有好的帮助空巢老人“排空”的方法，欢迎您拨打本报新闻热线96211与我们互动。(大河报 记者 余淼 实习生 贺亚冬)

“On July 18, see the old man's reports about empty nest，I have a feeling。If has the functions of the government department will do intermediary，To ensure the safety of both parties that is better。Rushed to find a stranger to take care of the old man，Children don't trust，Young man comes actively to take care of empty nest old man is not convenient。”She said。Reader friend，If you have a good help empty nest old man“emptying”method，Welcome you to call our hotline at 96211 we interact with the news。(The river news reporter YuMiao interns HeYa winter)