专家分析：过不了“语言关”和“自立关”，留学环境会对青少年产生很大压力

Expert analysis：Pass the“Language shut”and“Self-reliance shut”，Study abroad environment will have a great pressure on youth

　　南京苏女士的儿子留学归来一年间，整天宅在床上玩电脑，大热天不洗澡，每天累计20小时在床上度过，连上厕所都是憋急了才跑步去。“出国前是个爱干净的孩子，回来后咋变成野人了？”专家认为，环境因素对人心理变化影响很大，家长要考虑好孩子是否适合留学。

Nanjing Sue lady's son to study abroad a years back，Home in bed all day playing computer，Scorcher don't shower，Accumulated 20 hours every day is spent on the bed，Even the toilet is suppress nasty to run。“Before going abroad is a love clean children，How come back into the wild？”Experts say，Environmental factors to influence the psychological changes，Parents should consider whether good for study abroad。

　　小“海归”床上宅出低血糖

small“returnees”Bed home out of hypoglycemia

　　前天傍晚，苏女士给扬子晚报记者打来电话诉说自己的烦恼：儿子24岁了，在英国读了四年大学，现在回国后生活习惯完全变了，起床后不刷牙、不洗脸，每天20个小时在床上度过，上厕所都是憋急了才去，上完厕所赶紧奔跑着回床上继续玩电脑，我想知道这种情况该怎么办？苏女士说，儿子回来就变了一个人似的。

The day before yesterday evening，Sue lady to yangzi evening news reporters call telling your troubles：24 years old son，In Britain read the four years of college，Now after returning home living habits changed completely，After getting up, don't brush my teeth、Do not wash a face，Every 20 hours spent on the bed，The toilet is nasty to suppress，Top over toilet hurriedly running back on the bed to continue playing computer，I want to know this kind of situation should do？Says ms，Son back becomes a man。

　　昨天上午，记者再次联系上苏女士，她说，儿子房间很乱也不让人进去收拾，他一天只吃一顿，而且是玩游戏饿得头发昏了才去吃点东西，有时他饿得感觉要倒了，才吃点东西，歇会儿才能回过神来，这是饮食极不规律导致的低血糖症状。

Yesterday morning，The journalist again contact ms，She said，Son room is very disorderly also don't let up man went in，He on one meal a day，And it is playing games hungry feed hair just something to eat，Sometimes he hungry feeling is going to fall，Just eat something，Have a rest to come to his senses，This is extremely diet rules lead to hypoglycemia symptom。

　　“只听说他在外面很辛苦，毕业回国后让他找工作，他说凭他在国外学习过，岂能为别人打工，要干就干老板，问他干老板哪有积累？他说让我们掏出一百万来，我们夫妻俩是工薪阶层，送他出国已经花光所有积蓄，他的话让我瞠目结舌。”

“Only heard that he's out very hard，After graduation to let him find work，He said with his study in a foreign country，Working for others can，To do it the boss，Ask him dry boss which have accumulated？He said let us take out one million to，We are a couple is working class，Send he has been abroad for spend all their savings，His words make me staggering。”

　　出国前学习不错但需督促

Before going abroad to learn good but need to supervise

　　苏女士介绍，儿子小时很聪明，在国内从小学到高中成绩都不错，喜欢玩游戏，但不沉迷。记者问她，他在国外是不是遇到什么特别事情对他有很大的影响？“他很少提及国外生活。”苏女士说，儿子出国前很爱干净，生活学习也极有规律。“不过有一点，儿子在以前做作业必须有家长陪，他说学习很辛苦，他看不了电视，我们也别看，是不是出国后没人督促就懒散了？”至于儿子在国外哪所学校，苏女士说，中途换过一所大学，档次在当地一般，名字她一时也叫不上来。

Sue lady is introduced，Son hours is very clever，In the domestic to acquire high school grades are good，Like playing games，But don't wallow。The reporter asked her，He is abroad have any special things has very big effect to him？“He seldom mention living abroad。”Says ms，Son very much loves clean before going abroad，Life studies also is very regular。“But have a bit，Son in the past do homework must have parents to accompany，He said studies very hard，He can't see the TV，We also don't see，No one is to go abroad after prodding the lazy？”As for the son which school in foreign countries，Says ms，Midway in a university，Class at a local general，Name she at that time also called do not go up。

　　对于苏女士儿子这种情况，记者也提出和他直接交流一下，了解一下他的想法，但是苏女士有顾虑，说担心儿子发怒，况且儿子将来也要就业，说多了不好。“他的现状自认为自个很正常，可我们觉得他变了。”苏女士担心儿子有心理障碍，希望知道是否也有其他出过国的孩子与他一样，也希望有人能指导她该怎么让儿子适应现在的环境。

For Sue lady son this kind of situation，Reporters also put forward and he a direct communication，About his ideas，But Sue lady scruples，The son said worry about anger，Besides son will to employment，Said much bad。“His present situation from think from is very normal，But we think he changed。”Sue woman worry son have a mental disorder，Hope to know whether there are other been abroad children with him，Also hope that someone can guide how she should let the son to adapt to the environment。

　　专家建议

Experts suggest

　　出国前要做好“吃苦”准备

To do before going abroad“hardship”Ready to

　　南京师范大学教育科学院李小平教授曾担任心理系副主任，也是教育学专家，曾前往美国哥伦比亚大学等高校作高级访问学者，主要研究方向为社会心理学和人事测评。

Nanjing normal university education academy of sciences professor LiXiaoPing served as deputy director of the department of psychology，Is the pedagogy experts，Who has visited the United States such as Columbia University college for senior visiting scholar，The main research direction for the social psychology and personnel assessment。

　　李小平教授说，他在一些欧美国家考察访问期间发现，国内一些学生口头表达能力和演讲水平很一般，有的学生因性格内向，交流就少，在课堂上就表现为怕发言；如果不能口头表达，在国外生活是很孤独的，学业也不会好，造成很多不好的后果。

LiXiaoPing professor says，He in some European and American countries during a visit to find，Some Chinese students' oral expression ability and level of the speech is very general，Some students for introverted，Less communication，In the classroom is represented afraid to speak；If you can't oral expression，In a foreign country life is very lonely，Studies also won't good，Caused a lot of bad consequences。

　　“出国前，一定要做好充分的心理准备，就是能吃苦。”李教授说，这吃苦不仅仅是生活上的，还有心理上和学习上的压力。他认为，孩子出国最好在国内成绩就优异，而且要知道，实际上国外好的学校，学习是很苦的；而一些商业气息浓的，不入流的大学，基本出现无人管的状态，连辅导员都不配备，一些学生自律能力差，没人管就放纵自己，最后不可收拾，面临很大压力。

“Before going abroad，Must make full mental preparation，Which is able to bear hardships。”Professor li said，This is not only the hard life，There are psychological and the pressure in study。He thinks，Children abroad for best results are excellent in China，And to know，In fact foreign good schools，Learning is a bitter；And some commercial breath thick，Dirty university，Basic appear no one tube state，Even the counselors are not equipped with，Some students self-discipline ability is poor，Nobody tube is indulgence，Finally do not pick up，Facing great pressure。

　　要弄清孩子留学后的自我评价

To be cognizant of the children to study abroad after the self-evaluation

　　对于苏女士所说的情况，李小平教授认为，人的心理是很复杂的，环境因素起很大作用，国内、国外作息时间有差异是一方面，出国留学由一个环境进入另一个环境，再由另一个环境回到之前的环境，对人的心理变化和行为产生影响，不洗漱绝不是受国外人生活的影响，而是心理发生了变化。“在国外大学里很多学生在做论文期间也会不吃饭、不睡觉，24小时忙着论文，这倒也正常，但是每天不吃饭，不洗漱忙着玩电脑就不正常了。”李教授说：“需要弄清他心里的想法，比如他留学是觉得自己成功了，还是觉得自己受到了挫折，也有可能是失去信心转移到日常行为上。”李教授认为，家人应该换种方式与其沟通，了解他的心态，了解造成这种情形的原因，才好进一步分析。

For Sue lady said situation，LiXiaoPing professor thinks，The person's psychology is very complex，Environmental factors play a large role，domestic、Foreign schedules have difference is on one hand，Study abroad by an environment into another environment，Again by another environment before back to the environment，To the person's psychology and behavior change effect，Don't wash gargle by foreign countries is not the influence of the life，But the psychological changes。“In foreign university many students doing during the paper will not eat、Don't sleep，24 hours busy papers，It normal，But did not eat every day，Don't wash gargle busy playing computer is not normal。”Professor li said：“Need to find out the idea of his heart，For example he study abroad is feel successful，Or feel suffered setbacks，It is also possible that lose confidence transferred to daily behavior。”Professor li think，Family should change its communication way，About his state of mind，Learn about the causes of this situation reason，Just good further analysis。

　　归国留学生谈切身感受

Returned students talk about personal feelings

　　今年31岁的唐先生在南京一家银行工作，先后在新西兰、澳大利亚留学，历时七年，获得悉尼大学国际经济贸易硕士学位和会计专业硕士学位，有国际注册会计师证书。唐先生在受访时坦言，自己曾经也迷惘过。

This year at the age of 31 tang in nanjing bank work，Successively in New Zealand、Study in Australia，Lasted seven years，Get the university of Sydney international economic and trade master's degree and a master's degree in accounting major，International CPA certificate。Mr. Tang in the surveyed said，He had also had lost。

　　唐先生出国的第一年在语言学校，那一年，一同出国的同学没有撑下去，回国了，他也很迷惘觉得眼下的考试肯定过不了，就意味着不能上本科，他很消沉、迷茫，身边没有朋友，整天闷在住处上网打发时间。在情绪极度低落中，他认识了一名河南籍的中国留学生，他是个爱学习的人。后来，两人每天一道去图书馆，找资料，一步步坚持到学业完成，其间唐先生也在餐馆打工挣探亲机票钱，打工干活时，老外会向他竖大拇指，他觉得老外很友善，更有信心去锻炼自己。

Mr. Tang go abroad in the first year in a language school，That year，The students did not go abroad together hold out，Go back to，He is also very confusion think the exam must pass the，Means can't top undergraduate course，He was very depressed、confusion，Had no friends around me，All day long boring place in the Internet to kill time。In the emotional extreme depression，He met a henan book of Chinese students，He is a love of learning。later，Two people go to the library every day，Find material，Step by step to adhere to completion，Meanwhile Mr. Tang also job in the restaurant visiting tickets to earn money，Part-time job，Foreigners will to his vertical thumb，He felt a foreigner is very friendly，More confidence to exercise myself。

　　唐先生说，很多留学生心疼父母的钱而坚持着，也有很多人一个月换一辆车，甚至三年过不了语言关。唐先生认为，出国要面临适应国外环境的压力，而回国后又要面对国内人际关系比留学生圈子复杂的问题，不过好在回到国内会有很多亲人在身边。（记者 任国勇）

Mr Tang said，Many students love their parents' money and persistence，Also there are many people a month in a car，Even three years pass the language shut。Mr. Tang think，Go abroad to get used to foreign environment facing the pressure，But after returning home and have to face the domestic interpersonal relationship than students circle complex problem，But back in domestic there will be many relatives in the side。（Reporter RenGuoYong）