近年来，随着“4＋2＋1”家庭的出现，隔代抚养、过分溺爱、早期教育过度等问题引起了社会各界的关注与忧虑。教育专家呼吁，独一代家长要改变对独二代的教育方式和方法，避免走进误区。

In recent years,with"4 + 2 + 1"Family appear,Every generation of raising/Spoiling their/Early education excessive problems have caused the social concern from all walks of life.Education experts called for,One generation of parents to change to the second generation of education way and method,Avoid into the erroneous zone.

祖辈抚养：独二代较为普遍的生活模式 Grandparents raising:Only the second generation of the more common life mode

　　每天早晨7时，现年54岁的王可欣坐公交车把小外孙送到幼儿园。下午4时，王可欣又准时出现在幼儿园门口，等着接小外孙回家。“没办法呀，他们小两口工作忙，交给我这个当姥姥的带，总比交给保姆强吧。”王可欣对记者说。

At 7 every morning,The 54-year-old WangKeXin bus small grandson to nursery schools.Afternoon 4 when,WangKeXin has time appear in the kindergarten,Waiting to meet small grandson home."No way!,They young couple work favour,To me this when grandma with,Than to nurse's strong."WangKeXin told reporters.

　　我国实行计划生育政策30多年来，大量独生子女(简称独一代)已进入婚育年龄为人父母，由他们生育的独生子女被称为“独二代”。独一代的父母大多正处于事业的上升期，工作繁忙。“谁来带孩子”成了困扰他们的问题。于是，祖辈们抚养第三代成为普遍现象。

Our country executes family planning policy in more than 30 years,A large number of one-child(Referred to as one generation)Has entered the age of married parents,By their only child of the family called"Only the second generation".The generation of parents mostly are in career stage,Job is busy."Who will take the child"Become bothers them.so,Grandparents raising third generation become a common phenomenon.

　　据《中国妇女》杂志进行的“双独生子女婚姻”调查结果显示，超过70%的年轻父母“只生不养”，抚养孩子的重任全部由家中的老人承担。其中，由爷爷奶奶照料的占42%，姥姥姥爷照料的占30%，而由爸爸妈妈亲自抚养的孩子仅有不到两成。

According to[Chinese women's]magazine"Double singleton female marriage"According to the results of the survey,More than 70% of the young parents"Only born without a",The responsibility of bringing up children all by home for the old man.the,Grandma and grandpa care by 42%,Grandma grandpa care accounted for 30%,The mom and dad himself dependent children less than twenty percent.

　　沈阳市南宁幼儿园的幼师刘丽梅告诉记者，之前幼儿园举办亲子活动日，130名小朋友里，只有不到三成是由父母陪同的，其余全是孩子的祖父母或外祖父母。“当天很多互动和游戏都不适合老年人参加，活动没有达到预期效果。”

Shenyang nanning kindergarten fine LiuLiMei told reporters,Kindergarten held before the child day,In 130 children,Less than thirty percent is accompanied by parent's,The rest are all children grandparents or maternal grandparents."The day a lot of interaction and games are not suitable for old people to participate in,Activities did not reach the expected effect."

切莫以保护的名义宠坏独二代 Never to protect in the name of the second generation spoil alone

　　沈阳市青少年心理辅导中心主任周咏梅认为，在隔代抚养已经成为一种家庭模式的今天，祖辈们在照顾孩子正常起居的同时，较为注重传统美德的培养，比如节俭、谦让、孝顺等。对比年轻父母，对孩子更宽容，更有耐心，使祖孙关系更加密切。

Shenyang youth counseling center director 周咏梅 think,In the next generation of raising has become a family pattern today,The grandparents in normal daily life and take care of the children,More pay attention to the cultivation of the traditional virtue,Such as thrift/courtesy/Filial piety, etc.Contrast young parents,To the child more tolerant,Have more patience,Make their relationship more closely.

　　“但老人对孩子的溺爱是独二代成长中最大的问题。”周咏梅说。对于很多老人来说，养育孙子、孙女是他们唯一的精神寄托，便会轻易地满足孩子的要求，在孩子做错事时有时也会护短。“这非常不利于孩子的成长，孩子会变得任性、贪婪、自以为是，甚至小小年纪就学会推卸责任。”周咏梅说。

"But the old man to the child's dote on is only the second generation growth the biggest problem."周咏梅 said.For many old people,Raising grandchildren/Granddaughter is their only spiritual reposing,Can easily meet the requirements of the children,In the child does something wrong sometimes also can conceal one's faults."It is very unfavorable to the growth of children,The child will become willfulness/greed/self-righteousness,Even small age learn to shirk responsibility."周咏梅 said.

　　家住沈阳市和平区的于海靓，向记者抱怨孩子的爷爷奶奶总爱和自己唱反调。“我不让她吃虾条、薯片之类的膨化食品，她就去找爷爷奶奶哭闹，老人一心软，就什么都答应。现在孩子特别任性，还养成了哭闹就能如愿的坏习惯。”

Shenyang heping district in the beautiful sea,Complained to the journalists about children's grandpa's grandmother always love and no himself."I don't let her eat shrimp/Potato chips and so on puffed food,She went to grandpa's grandmother crying,The old man a softhearted,What promise.Now that the children are special willfulness,Also formed the crying will be able to do so bad habits."

　　周咏梅认为，独立性差和抗挫折能力差，也是娇养独二代所导致的。家长的过度爱护，超出了孩子的需要，造成孩子事事依赖家长，对孩子的发展尤为不利。一位家长害怕孩子会摔跤，从小就不许他跑步，结果，沈阳市一名三年级学生何子雄至今连快走都不会。这对孩子自信心的损伤是显而易见的：孩子觉得自己什么都不会、什么都不行，从心里觉得自己能力低下，有挫败感。

周咏梅 think,Independence difference and resisting frustration ability is poor,Also coddle alone in the second generation.The parents take good care of the excessive,Beyond the needs of the children,Cause everything children rely on parents,On a child's development is particularly detrimental.A parent who fear the child will wrestling,Since the childhood that he running,The results,Shenyang a grade three students HeZiXiong up to now even the move won't.The child self-confidence damage is obvious:Children feel what all not/What all can't,From the heart feel ability is low,Be frustrated.

　　“从儿童心理学角度来讲，孩子是愿意自己去尝试的，他们会在尝试中得到快乐。同时，从失败到成功的过程有利于孩子产生成就感、提升抗挫折能力。把属于孩子的世界还给孩子，不要以保护的名义剥夺了孩子快乐的权利。”周咏梅呼吁家长一定要学会放手，给孩子自己成长的机会。

"From the child psychology perspective,Children are willing to try,They will be trying to be happy in.At the same time,From the failure to successful process is helpful to children have a sense of accomplishment/Improve resistance to frustration ability.Belong to the child's world back to the child,Don't to protect the nominal deprived children happy rights."周咏梅 calls for parents must learn to let go,Give your child the opportunity to grow.

重智轻德 过早教育适得其反 Heavy wisdom light DE early education backfired

　　“要给孩子最好的条件，让他接受最好的教育，送到最好的幼儿园。”沈阳市民李斌和妻子都是工薪阶层，小区里就有幼儿园，可以让孩子就近入托。但李斌把孩子送到私立国际双语幼儿园。一个月托儿费要6000元，再加上周末的补习班，每月开支不小。“我们大人吃点苦没啥，不能让孩子从小就比别人差。”

"To give your children the best of conditions,Let him receive the best education,To the best of the kindergarten."Shenyang public li bin and his wife are working class,In the village there kindergarten,Can let the child came near to the nursery.But li bin, to send their child to kindergartens private international bilingual kindergarten.A month capper fee to 6000 yuan,Plus the cram school this weekend,Monthly spending big."We adults eat bitter nothing,Can't let the child is worse than others."

　　据了解，独一代父母接受教育的程度较高，他们更注重对孩子的知识灌输和物质满足，希望孩子出人头地。抱着“不能让孩子输在起跑线上”的心理，家长们带着孩子奔走于各种早教班之间。很多孩子不仅要学习英语、书法，还要学习钢琴、绘画等。动辄近万元的“高价早教”受到众多年轻父母的追捧，甚至连包着尿布的宝宝也出现在早教班里。

It is understood,One generation of parents accept education of higher degree,They more attention to children's knowledge infusion and material to meet,Hope the children come to the front.hold"Can't let children lose in the starting line"psychological,Parents take their children rushing in all kinds of development between class.Many children should not only learn English/calligraphy,Still have to learn the piano/Paintings, etc.Frequently nearly ten thousand yuan"Early high"By numerous young parents to chase after hold in both hands,Even pack diapers baby also appears in early childhood in the class.

　　与过度智力开发的现状相比，家长对于孩子的德行教育重视不够。上海市妇联对1054名未成年人的家长进行了调查，当被问及“在家庭教育中，您在下列哪方面下工夫最多”时，有80%的家长首选“智力开发和知识教育”，高于“身体素质培养”的64%和“道德品质和做人的教育”的54%。

Present situation of the development of intelligence and excessive compared,The parents for the child's virtue education do not pay enough attention.Shanghai women's federation of 1054 parents of minors were investigated,When asked about"In the family education in,You in which of the following most focus"when,80% of the parents preferred"Intelligence development and knowledge education",Higher than"Physical quality training"And 64%"Moral quality and a education"54% of.

　　周咏梅对于过早教育的现状表示忧虑，“0-6岁是孩子行为习惯和人格形成的关键时期。家长在这个阶段强迫孩子参加各种培训班，孩子的意愿得不到尊重，经常处于被指责的状态，对孩子内心的伤害非常大。”近年来，厌学青少年的比例在逐年增高，而且明显呈现出低龄化趋势，甚至产生生理或心理问题，这必须引起家长的重视。

周咏梅 for early education present situation of worried about,"0 to 6 years old is the child behavior and personality formation of the critical period.Parents at this stage to force children to take part in all kinds of training,Children will not be respected,Often in the state of the accused,To the child inner damage is very large."In recent years,The proportion of be disgusted teenagers in increased year by year,But obviously presents DiLingHua trend,Even produce physiological or psychological problems,It must bring to the attention of the parents.

　　周咏梅认为，家长应该掌握孩子在每个年龄段发展的普遍规律，并且了解其个性特点，给孩子充分的空间，才能让孩子健康、全面地发展。

周咏梅 think,Parents should have the child in every age the universal law of the development,And understand their individual characteristics,Give children sufficient space,Can let the child health/Comprehensive development.

　　在教育的方式方法上，专家建议，首先，独一代家长可以尝试转换角色，采取平等的态度，成为孩子的朋友。比如和孩子说话的时候最好要蹲下来，让孩子学习协助完成简单的家务等，而不是对孩子一味地迁就或责备。

In the education of the methods,Experts suggest,First of all,One generation of parents can try switching role,Take the attitude of equality,Become a children's friends.For example and children speaking best to squat down,Let children learn to help complete simple in household duties, etc,And not to the child blindly humor or blame.

　　其次，家长可以联合几个家庭为孩子组成小型社交圈，经常带孩子去游乐场等儿童较多的场所，以增加孩子与同龄人交往的机会，避免孩子出现性格孤僻和与同伴交往缺失等问题。(姜敏 汪依霖)

secondly,Parents can combine several families of children small circle,Children often go to the playground and children more places,In order to increase children and peer interaction opportunity,Avoid children appear withdrawn character and associates with the companion problems such as lack of.(JiangMin wong in lam)