教育孩子的前提是了解孩子。当家长们面对“90后”——中国目前最青春年华的一代，或许会感到既熟悉又陌生。熟悉，是因为他们就在你身边，也许就是自家的孩子；陌生，是因为父母们常常觉得太不了解这些孩子，他们的所思所想似乎和父母隔着一个世纪。

Education child is to understand the premise of children.When parents face"After 90"- China's youth generation,May feel both familiar and unfamiliar.Be familiar with,Because they were in your side,May be their own children;strange,Because parents often feel too do not understand these children,Their thoughts seem to and parents across a century.

　　面对“90后”一代，父母们往往苦恼自己呕心沥血，却依然和孩子隔着肚皮，有时难免发生冲突。对此，中国青少年研究中心的孙宏延在《家庭教育》杂志撰文认为，结合“90后”的特征，如果采取有效的措施，会更利于父母与子女建立和谐的亲子关系——

In the face of"After 90"A generation,Parents are often upset their work wholeheartedly,But still and children across the belly,Sometimes hard to avoid conflict.For this,Sun Hongyan in the China youth and children research center[The family education]Magazine articles that,In combination with"After 90"The characteristics of the,If effective measures are taken,Will be more beneficial to establish harmonious parent-child relationship -- parents and children

　　家长眼中的“90后” The eyes of the parents"After 90"

　　他们生活在日新月异的信息时代，他们承载着家人的期望，他们的生活比父辈们优越，他们对新事物有很强烈的好奇心，他们的成长与互联网息息相关。他们正在迅速成长，他们被称为“90后”。

They are living in the ever-changing information age,Their family expectations,Superior in their lives than their parents,They have very strong curiosity to new things,Their growth is closely related to the Internet.They are growing rapidly,They are known as"After 90".

　　对于尚未成人的“90后”子女，家长们怎么看呢？这里有5位家长的话，他们表达了成人世界对“90后”的“不完全评价”。

For not yet adults"After 90"children,What do parents think of that?Here are 5 parents,They expressed the adult world"After 90"the"Incomplete evaluation".

　　最不能理解现在的孩子，简直没法沟通，她写的日记想偷看都没用，根本看不懂。“我”不说“我”，偏偏说“莪”，“谢谢”说“3Q”，这还是我最近才弄明白的。(陈女士，45岁，孩子读高一)

The most can't understand children now,Can't communicate,She write diary want to peep,At reading."I"Don't say"I",It happened that say"I","thank you"said"3 q",This is I recently didn't understand.(Ms. Chen,45 years old,Children to read in a)

　　我的孩子就像一个矛盾体。他对外面的人很热情，但对家里人很冷漠；他很有好奇心，爱学习，但只喜欢在网络上学习，不喜欢听老师讲课；他心里有烦恼愿意在网上和陌生人说，却不告诉父母和老师。(张先生，43岁，孩子读初三)

My child is like a paradox.He the outside people is very enthusiasm,But for the family is very indifference;He has a lot of curiosity,The love of learning,But just like to learn on the Internet,Don't like to listen to the teacher;He is worry in heart is willing to and stranger said on the Internet,Don't tell their parents and teachers.(Mr Zhang,43 years old,Children read grade)

　　我儿子打了3个耳洞，那天回家差点儿没把我气昏过去，他还一脸无所谓的样子。一批评他，他还振振有词，说他们这一代不能活得太委屈，说大人管得太多了。(曹女士，43岁，孩子读初三)

My son played three ear hole,On the day of gas faint almost didn't take me home,He has a face of doesn't matter of appearance.A criticism of him,He also argued,Said they this generation cannot live too injustice,Had too much to say parents tube.(cao,43 years old,Children read grade)

　　我女儿很乖，没觉得她身上有哪些不好的地方，就是觉得这一代孩子的压力太大了。每天有写不完的作业、做不完的习题，我觉得孩子生活得不快乐。(王女士，40岁，孩子读小学六年级)

My daughter is very lovely,Don't think that her have what not good place,Just think this generation of children's pressure is too big.Have to write not over of homework every day/Do not over of problem sets,I don't think children to live happy.(Ms. Wang,40 years of age,Children read primary school grade 6)

　　我觉得现在的孩子性格不好，一个个都飞扬跋扈，还特别脆弱。可能因为很多孩子是独生子女吧，家里人太宠他们了。(宋先生，40岁，孩子读小学五年级)

I think children's character is not good now,Each of bossiness,Also particularly vulnerable.Probably because so many children are only children,The family is too spoil them.(Mr. Song,40 years of age,Children read primary school grade five)

　　网络文本 The network text

　　“90后”的宣言 "After 90"The declaration of

　　活泼是我们的性情，爱笑是我们的习惯，我们爱好跑跑(网络游戏)，爱好电玩，爱好小说。我们盼望着下课，我们盼望着假期。这就是我们——老师眼中的“硬茬”，家长眼中的“难管”，我们90年代的新一辈。——九零＆地带

Lively is our character,Love to laugh is our habit,We love to run(The network game),Love computer games,Love novels.We are looking forward to our class,We are looking forward to our vacation.This is what we -- the teacher's eyes"Hard stubble",The eyes of the parents"Hard to tube",We are a new generation of the 90 s.- rates & strip

　　“90后”很生气！生气人们误解了我们的崇拜。总的来讲，“90”是一个被社会误解的年代，人们大都以为，“90后”是没落的一代，其实不然……——聪明小半仙

"After 90"Was very angry!Angry people misunderstand our worship.In general,"90"S is a misunderstanding by the society,Most people think,"After 90"Is the decline of the generation,It's not……- smart small fortuneteller

　　写火星文有什么好批判的？我对什么什么后很反感，出生能自己选择吗？在物质社会中，我们的精神很空虚，只能在网络上消遣消遣，写写煽情点的所谓的火星文。如果这都不允许，那实在……难道我们只能每天乖乖地上学放学吗？——啊啊啊

Write critique of Mars, have what good?I am very disgusted after what what,Born to choose their own?In the material society,Our spirit is void,Can only relax myself on the Internet,Write about the so-called Mars text sentimental point.If this is not allowed,It is really……Do we have to obediently to school every day after school?- ahhh

　　我们这代人，不像大人们想象的那样叛逆、冷血、孤傲、不虚心、不上进。恰恰相反，作为一个“90后”(不太习惯)，我自认为，我们这一代人充满自信、诚实勇敢、善良朴实，极容易被感动、被震撼。不要说我们麻木，其实我们比谁都重感情。——小饭盒

Our generation,Unlike the adults as rebellious/Cold blooded/aloof/Don't be modest in/Not motivated.On the contrary,As a"After 90"(Don't too habit),I think,We of this generation are confident/Honest and brave/Goodness is simple,Very easy to be moved/Be shocked.Don't say we are numb,Actually we than who are heavy sentiment.- small carton

　

　“90后”的特征 "After 90"The characteristics of the

　　中国青少年研究中心与全国少工委办公室曾联合开展了中国少年儿童发展状况调查，内容涉及少年儿童的心理、价值观、学习、闲暇、消费、媒介接触等方面。调查对象涉及河南等10个省46个区县184所学校，均为1990年以后出生。通过对调查问卷的分析，“90后”身上有如下特征：

The China youth and children research center and the national ShaoGongWei office has carried out the development of Chinese children's survey,Content related to children's psychology/values/learning/leisure/consumption/Media contact, etc.Respondents involved in 10 provinces such as henan 46 counties and 184 schools,Were born after 1990.Through the analysis of the questionnaire,"After 90"Have the following characteristics:

　　特征一：充满自信但较为脆弱 Characteristics of a:Confident but fragile

　　“90后”一代能够正确认识自我，对自我有较高的接纳度，更加认可自己在社会生活中的价值，对自我发展充满期望。这说明今天的少年儿童更加自信，更加认可自身价值，对未来期望更高。但仍有一部分少年儿童情感脆弱，整日被焦虑、抑郁、烦躁、痛苦的情绪控制，难以轻松快乐地生活。

"After 90"A generation can correct understanding of self,To have higher self acceptance,More recognized its value in the social life,To develop themselves full of expectations.This shows that today's children more confident,More value itself,Higher expectations for the future.But there are still a part of emotionally vulnerable children and adolescents,Be anxious all day long/depression/Be agitated/Painful emotional control,Difficult to relaxed and happy life.

　　特征二：富有理想但不甘平凡 Characteristics of two:Rich ideal but unwilling to ordinary

　　“90后”的价值取向和对人生幸福的理解均呈现多样化的特点，科学家、教师、医生仍然是少年儿童心目中最理想的社会角色和职业。

"After 90"Values and the understanding of happiness are the characteristics of diversification,scientists/The teacher/The doctor is still the most ideal social role in children's mind and occupation.

　　特征三：重视维权但时常受限 Characteristics of the three:Attaches great importance to the rights but are often limited

　　尽管部分孩子希望通过日记的方式与老师、父母沟通，但半数以上的孩子并不认为这是了解他们的好机会。随着年龄的增长，“90后”保护自身权利的意识越来越强，认为这是“侵犯我的权利，不能这样做”的比例随年龄的增长而逐渐增加，认为“很高兴他们有机会了解我”的比例随年龄的增长而逐渐下降。

Although some children hope through diaries and teacher/Parents communication,But more than half of the kids don't think it is a good opportunity for us to know them.As the growth of the age,"After 90"Protect their own rights consciousness is more and more strong,Think this is"Violation of my rights,Can't do this"The percentage of increase gradually with the growth of the age,think"Glad they have a chance to know me"The proportion of gradually decreases with the growth of the age.

　　特征四：喜欢学习但负担较重 Characteristics of the four:Like to learn but burden heavier

　　多数孩子喜欢到学校上学，课堂兴趣不断增加，但有半数多孩子对学历期待较高。虽然减负呼声一直较高，但“90后”一代的学习压力依然较大。他们写作业时间严重超标，睡眠时间严重不足。

Most children like to go to school,Increasing interest in the class,But more than half of children to look for in a degree is higher.Although the burden has been high,but"After 90"Generation of learning pressure is still large.They do homework time exceeds bid badly,Serious shortage of sleep time.

　　特征五：消费自主但习惯攀比 Characteristics of five:Consumption independent but habits comparisons

　　“90后”一代的生活水平进一步提高，拥有的物品更加丰富，消费行为更加理性。高消费、攀比消费、盲目消费、追求名牌等消费行为依然存在。

"After 90"A generation of further improve the standard of living,Items with more rich,Consumer behavior is more rational.High consumption/Comparing consumption/Blind consumption/The pursuit of famous brand such as consumer behavior still exists.

　　特征六：媒介环境丰富但容易失控 Features 6:Rich media environment but easy to out of control

　　看电视几乎成为“90后”每天的“必修课”，其次是图书、报纸和杂志等。和5年前相比，他们用于阅读书报的时间减少，看电视、上网的时间有了较大增加。

Watching TV almost become"After 90"Every day of the"Required courses",Followed by the book/Newspapers and magazines, etc.Compared with five years ago,They are less time for reading books and newspapers,Watching TV/Surf the Internet time has increased considerably.

　　特征七：亲子关系缓和但沟通不畅 Characteristics of the seven:Parent-child relationship eased but communication

　　成人的权威地位进一步动摇，“90后”的社会地位不断提升。父母对孩子多有过高学业期望，学习成绩是父母最关心的事。“90后”与父母的沟通令人担忧，彼此之间缺乏理解。

The authority of the adult status further shaken,"After 90"Social status.Many parents of children high school expectations,Learning is the most care about parents."After 90"Communicate with parents' concern,A lack of understanding between each other.

　　特征八：渴望同伴友谊但矛盾较多 Characteristics of eight:More eager to peer friendship but contradiction

　　同伴在“90后”心目中处于重要位置，是他们最乐于交往的对象，也是他们最重要的陪伴者。但父母和孩子的择友标准略有不同，父母对“学习好”这一标准的重视远超过孩子。

Partner in"After 90"Mind in the important position,Object is their most happy to communication,Is the company of their most important person.But parents and the child's friends standard is a little different,Parents to"Study well"The standard of value is far more than children.

　　特征九：亲近老师但对老师要求偏高 Characteristics of nine:Close to the teacher but the teacher requirement is on the high side

　　“90后”一代与老师的关系比较和谐，主要表现为老师对学生的满意、欣赏、真情、关爱、宽容、尊重以及师生间的良好互动。同时，老师身上的不良行为对孩子也产生了一定的不良影响。

"After 90"Generation and the teacher's relationship more harmonious,Mainly for the teacher to student's satisfaction/appreciate/The truth/Take care of/tolerance/Respect and good interaction between teachers and students.At the same time,Teacher's bad behavior has also had a certain adverse effect to the child.

　　“90后”父母 "After 90"parents

　　家庭教育的9个策略 Nine strategies of family education

　　策略一：关心孩子的心灵快乐 Strategy a:Concerned about children's heart happy

　　都说“90后”一代是幸福的一代，然而父母们有时会纳闷：为什么我给孩子提供了最好的物质条件，他却一点儿也不快乐？这是因为父母只满足了孩子的生存需求。

All said"After 90"Generation is the generation of happiness,However, parents sometimes feel suspicious:Why I provide children with the best material conditions,He was not at all happy?This is because the parents can only meet the demand of the child's survival.

　　父母为孩子提供的优裕生活条件，只是生理需求。这是最底层的需要，而更重要的是人的精神需求，如尊重需求和自我实现的需求。建议父母们在关心孩子生活的同时，把更多的精力用来关心孩子的心灵。

Parents provide abundant life conditions for the child,Only physiological needs.This is the bottom of the need,But more important is people's spiritual needs,Such as respect the needs and self-actualization needs.Advises parents to care about their children's lives. At the same time,Put more effort to care for the child's mind.

　　策略二：营造和谐的家庭氛围 Strategy 2:Create a harmonious family atmosphere

　　有温暖的家是“90后”一代最重要的幸福标准。一个家庭无论多么贫穷，只要家里有幸福恩爱的父母，对孩子来说都是最富有的。父母要尽力为孩子营造和谐的家庭氛围，为孩子的成长提供温暖的成长环境。

Have a warm home is"After 90"The happiness of the generation of the most important standard.No matter how poor a family,As long as there is happy home loving parents,For children is the most wealthy.Parents should try to create a harmonious family atmosphere for the child,Provide warm growth environment for children's growth.

　　策略三：维护孩子的尊严 Three strategies:The dignity of children

　　“90后”一代是权益意识增强的一代，父母不要因为孩子还小，就把自己的意志和价值标准强加给孩子，忽视孩子的愿望和需求。父母要给孩子话语权，要多维护孩子的尊严。

"After 90"Generation is the generation of increasing consciousness of rights and interests,Parents don't let children were small,Would impose his will and value standard for their children,Ignore the child's wishes and needs.Parents should give their children,To maintain the dignity of the child.

　　策略四：玩耍时间孩子说了算 Four strategies:Children playing time in charge

　　承载着父母的高期望，“90后”一代学习时间越来越长，学习压力越来越大，睡眠时间越来越少。在有限的玩耍时间里，父母要退一步，让孩子自己做主。

Parents' high expectations,"After 90"Generation of study time longer and longer,Learning pressure is more and more big,Sleep time is less and less.In limited playing time,Parents want to take a step back,Let the children themselves.

　　策略五：相信孩子的自主理财能力 Strategy for five:Believe that children are independent financial ability

　　告别了贫穷的“90后”一代，手里有了存款和零花钱，在消费方面更加自主。时代给了他们新的挥洒天地，但他们必须成长为懂得理财的一代。

Say goodbye to the poor"After 90"A generation,With deposits and pocket money in hand,More independent in terms of consumption.Time gave them the new heaven and earth,But they have to grow up to know money generation.

　

　策略六：向孩子学习 Strategy 6:To learn from children

　　“90后”是生活在大众传媒飞速发展环境下的一代。信息传播便捷迅速，使儿童与成人的界限消失，成人懂的他们懂，成人不懂的他们也懂。这些不仅改变着孩子们的生活方式，也改变了他们与父母的关系。在媒介使用方面，他们甚至已经成为父母之师。因此，向孩子学习并加强引导，或许是亲子沟通的有效途径。

"After 90"Life is in the rapid development of mass media environment generation.Information communication convenient quickly,Children and adults boundaries to disappear,They understand the adults understand,They also understand adults don't understand.These not only changing the way the children's lives,Also changed their relationship with their parents.In terms of media use,They have even become the teacher of parents.so,Learn from children and strengthen guidance,Perhaps is an effective way of parent-child communication.

　　策略七：平等是代际沟通的桥梁 Strategy 7:Equality is the bridge of the intergenerational

　　对于自我意识增强的“90后”一代，他们更需要父母的尊重和理解。要建立良好的亲子关系，父母需要把平等放在首位。

For enhanced self-awareness"After 90"A generation,They need parents to respect and understand more.To establish a good parent-child relationship,Parents need to give first priority to equality.

　　策略八：尊重孩子的朋友 Strategy.:Respect children's friends

　　生活在城市里的“90后”，几乎是孤独的一代。父母关注孩子的心灵就要关注他们交友，培养他们的交友技能，因为伙伴在孩子心中的位置最重，伙伴是父母不能代替的。良好的同伴关系可以帮助他们更好地适应学校生活、增强心理调适能力和社会适应能力。

Life in the city"After 90",Is almost the generation of loneliness.Parents focus on children's heart is going to focus on their friends,Cultivate their dating skills,For the location of the heaviest partners in the children heart,Partner is parents cannot replace.Good peer relationship can help them better adapt to school life/Strengthen psychological adjustment ability and social adaptation ability.

　　策略九：做老师的朋友 Strategy.:Do the teacher friend

　　要更好地了解和帮助孩子，父母还需要加强家校沟通。毕竟，学校是除了家庭之外孩子的第二个重要生活场所。

To better understand and help children,Parents also need to strengthen parent-school communication.After all,,School is the second in addition to the family children important life areas.

　　在日常生活中，如果父母能做到上述几点，你和孩子的关系就会有所改善，对孩子也不会再感到陌生，冲突自然就会减少。

In our daily life,If parents can do the above points,You and child relationship will improve,Also won't feel strange to the child,Conflicts will naturally decrease.