提问： To ask questions:在家庭中，李双江“扮演”着慈父，在一次采访中，李双江就教子问题说“不打，舍不得，有时真想打，但不能打；劝说，我们也只是吓唬一下。还没有打，自己的眼泪先掉下来了。作为父母都希望孩子上进，玩是孩子的天性，没有办法。”您认为这样的教子观点对孩子，尤其是男孩子的成长会产生什么样的影响？

In the family,Mr. Li"To play"The father,In an interview,Mr. Li said the godson issue"Don't play,Loathe to give up,Sometimes really want to play,But I can't play;To persuade,We also just scare.Haven't played,Her tears fell off first.As the parents want their children better,Play is the child's nature,There is no way."What do you think that his godson views on children,Especially boys grow up will produce what kind of impact?

孙云晓（中国青少年研究中心副主任、研究员）： sun(Deputy director of the China youth and children research center/researcher):做慈父没有错，打孩子是错误的。慈父要有爱心，不等于没有严格的要求。如果把慈父理解为溺爱、纵容，那就是害了孩子，严格要求才是爱。它的问题在于对孩子缺乏严格的要求，缺乏做人的底线。

There is nothing wrong with doing father,Spanking is wrong.Father has the compassion,Is not equal to no strict requirements.If the father understood as spoil/Indulge in,That is hurt children,Strict is the love.The problem is the lack of strict requirements for children,The lack of life's bottom line.

李文道（首师大心理系副教授，北师大心理学博士）： Li Wendao(ShouShiDa associate professor, department of psychology,Beijing normal university psychologist Dr):男孩本来就更加好动，有更高的冒险行为和有更高的犯罪可能性。男孩的健康成长需要父亲切实承担起管束的责任，父亲的管束过程往往就是孩子规则意识形成的过程。如果父亲放弃了自己的管教责任，把孩子行为出轨当作个性而娇纵孩子，孩子就会不断地挑战父亲的底限，最终结果就是行为越来越没有底限。到了真正给孩子树立界限的时间，孩子的性格往往已经形成，父亲往往已经无能为力了。

The boy was more active,Have higher risk taking and have higher possibility of crime.The boy to the healthy growth of the need to father to assume the responsibility of the tube bundle,Father's control process is usually children rules consciousness formation process.If the discipline of the father gave up his responsibility,As a child of individuality and pamper their children behavior,Father will continually challenge the bottom line,The end result is more and more not bottom line.To truly set boundaries of time to children,Often the children's character has formed,His father often have been powerless.

郑委（家庭教育专家）： Zheng Wei(Family education expert):从这个采访内容可以看出李双江有多么的惜子，惜子的结果就是溺爱，从小到大，儿子没有因为做错事而承担错误行为的后果，让李天一知道“做任何不好的事情都不会有坏的结果，最多是爸爸妈妈劝说两句就结束了”，慢慢的让这个孩子养成了“以自我为中心做事不计后果”的习惯。

Can be seen from this interview, Mr. Li how precious little son,As a result of precious little son dote on,Since the childhood,儿子没有因为做错事而承担错误行为的after果,Let li know"Do any bad things won't have bad results,Most is mom and dad persuaded two sentences is over",Let the child has developed slowly"以自我为中心做事不计after果"The habit of.

游涵（资深心理专家、家庭教育专家）： Swim culvert(Senior psychologist/Family education expert):许多人在这个问题上都有很多疑问，我认为李老师在这方面不打骂、不动粗口的方式是对的，孩子的教育不是打出来的。不过最近我们在探讨时发现所有的小孩在成长的时候都受到两个不可避免的因素的影响，一是孩子并不只是通过父母直接的口头教育学习到人生的道理，相反孩子效仿和模仿的对象是父母的下意识的言行，比如吃饭的时候怎么夹菜，每天上班前后是怎么样的情绪变化……这些不意识的环节反而比刻意而为的东西对孩子的影响要大得多。艺术家们比较感性，有时候很多想法直接就说出来了，这种情绪化的东西孩子会受收到，想怎样就怎样的做法可能会影响到他。二是妈妈对儿子的影响力量相当大，甚至超过父亲。很多次孩子犯了错误没有受到及时的规范，父母反而替他去灭火，这样孩子会形成一个印象——不管我犯什么错误都是无所谓的，我都是对的，再加上爸爸这边的情绪化容易产生任性，这样一个量变的积累最后产生质变，到今天为止终于变成了火山，岩浆喷发一发不可收拾。妈妈也是有一定责任的。

Many people have a lot of questions on this issue,I don't think Mr Li in this respect herself/Swearing way is right,The child's education is not typing.But when we discussed recently discovered all of the children when growing up under the influence of two inevitable factors,One is verbal education of children not only directly by their parents to learn the truth of life,Instead children to follow and imitate is subconscious thoughts and deeds of parents,Such as when you eat what food,每天上班前after是怎么样的情绪变化……These don't consciousness link rather than a deliberate and for things to the child the influence is much larger.Artists are perceptual,Sometimes a lot of ideas say it out directly,This kind of emotional things children can receive,Want to how how it could affect his.2 it is mother to son's impact strength is quite large,Even more than my father.Many times children made mistakes not under specification in a timely manner,Parents instead for him to put out the fire,Such children will form an impression -- no matter what mistakes I made is don't care,I was right,Coupled with emotional prone to capricious side of dad,这样一个量变的积累最after产生质变,As of today, finally becomes a volcano,Magma eruption.Mother is also have certain responsibilities.

　　以上内容均为搜狐教育原创，转载时请注明出处！

以上内容均为搜狐教育原创,Please indicate the source when reprint!