春节假期结束，人们又进入工作状态。埋头工作的你可否想到，多少次深夜回家，孩子已然睡去？多少次早上出门，孩子还在梦中？多少次答应陪孩子玩，却一再食言？多少次孩子需要你的关爱，你却不在身边？当然，这也许正是你的痛楚和无奈。

春节假期结束,People and enter the working state.Can you think of working hard,How many times I come home late at night,Children have to sleep?How many times in the morning to go out,Children are still in the dream?How much time to accompany children to play with,But promise again and again?How much time children need your love,You are not around?Of course,,Perhaps it is this your pain and helpless.

　　在我们生活中，有这样一群人，有为生计奔波的农民工，有为理想奋斗的都市白领，甚至有光鲜亮丽的外交官……对他们而言，陪伴孩子是一种奢望。在对幸福生活的追求中，他们的孩子沦为“失陪”一族。让我们聆听他们的倾诉，思考“失陪”之所失。

在我们生活中,There is a group of people,For living of the rural migrant workers,Urban white-collar workers for the ideal struggle,There are even glamorous diplomat……For them,With children is a kind of hope.In the pursuit of happiness life,To their children"Please excuse me for"gens.Let's listen to them talk,To think about"Please excuse me for"Loss of.

　

　北京保洁大姐王学峰—— Beijing cleaning elder sister based --

　　想孩子，枕头都是湿的 Want to children,Pillow is all wet

　　提起留在家乡的一对双胞胎儿子，王学峰眼圈红了：“孩子已经11岁了，什么都懂，打电话时老问，妈妈你什么时候回来，是工作重要还是我们重要？你光赚钱不要我们了吗？”

提起留在家乡的一对双胞胎儿子,Based the rim of the eye red:"Child is 11 years old,Know everything,Old asked when making phone calls,Mom when will you come back,Is important is our important work?You make money don't we?"

　　王学峰是北京一家事业单位的保洁员，今年，是她从老家张家口来京打工的第三个年头，离开儿子的400多个日日夜夜，母子三人不知多少次在梦中相逢。

王学峰是北京一家事业单位的保洁员,This year,Is she working hometown zhangjiakou comes from the third year,Son leave of more than 400 days and nights,Mother and child three people don't know how many times meet in a dream.

　　见到王学峰时是晚上8点，她身着蓝色工作服，提着水桶、拖把和抹布，正在上夜班。

见到王学峰时是晚上8点,She was dressed in blue overalls,Carrying a bucket/Mop and cloth,Is on the night shift.

　　“我2011年11月22日来到北京”，对这个日子，王学峰记得格外清楚，“刚来那会儿，一宿一宿睡不着觉，枕头都是湿的，想孩子！想衣服够不够穿，鞋子是不是小了，喝没喝够水，他爸爸能不能带好孩子。”

"I came to Beijing on November 22, 2011",To this day,Based remember very clear,"Just for that moment,Night can't sleep a night,Pillow is all wet,Want to children!Want to have enough clothes to wear,The shoes are small,Drink don't drink water enough,His father can bring the child."

　　让心爱的儿子在老家留守，王学峰有着无奈：“现在的厂子瘫的瘫，散的散，丈夫厂子效益差，我在老家当服务员，一个月只有几百块，两个孩子过得紧紧巴巴。在北京，每个月工资1500多块，还有300块钱的饭补，孩子们吃的穿的都比过去好了！”

让心爱的儿子在老家left-behind,Based with helpless:"Now the factory collapsed collapsed,Spread the powder,Husband factory benefit is bad,I in their hometown as a waiter,Only a few hundred pieces a month,The two children had closely baba.In Beijing,Each monthly salary of more than 1500 pieces,And food subsidies of 300 yuan,Children wear is better than the past!"

　　王学峰最多每半月回家一次，周六走，周日回，来回都得坐3个半小时的火车。

王学峰最多每半月回家一次,Go on Saturday,Back on Sunday,Have to sit back and forth three and a half hours by train.

　　“每次我离开家，孩子就直抹眼泪，我都不敢看，看了就受不了。” 王学峰眼泪掉下来，她用手抹掉，接着说：“有一次回家，看到孩子的作文，题目是《我的妈妈》，老大写的是：‘妈妈，只要你回家，我再也不乱花钱了。’老二写的是：‘妈妈，只要你回家，我再也不给你捣乱了……’”

"Every time I leave home,Children will wipe tears straight,I can't see,Watch it and you can't stand it." Based the tears fall down,Her hand wipe out,Went on to say that:"Have a home,See the child's composition,The topic will be[My mother],The boss is:‘My mother,As long as you come home,I don't disorderly spend money anymore.’Dick wrote:‘My mother,As long as you come home,I will never give you trouble……’"

　　只能在家住一宿的王学峰舍不得睡觉，她喜欢看儿子们睡觉的样子，“真的很甜”。

只能在家住一宿的王学峰舍不得睡觉,She likes to see his sons sleep of appearance,"Really very sweet".

　　让王学峰聊以自慰的是，她认为这一切都是为了孩子。“我给儿子讲道理说，这也是为了能让你们有更好的生活。”这样做，究竟得大还是失大？王学峰自己也说不好：“我觉得亏欠孩子，想陪在孩子身边，这样起码孩子心里没有阴影。”

让王学峰聊以自慰的是,She thinks it is all for the children."I reason for his son said,This is also in order to let you have a better life."To do so,Whether gain or loss?Based himself said is bad:"I feel indebted to children,Want to in children's side,Such children at least no shadow in my heart."

　　“我有一次打扫卫生，在人家办公桌上看到一本书，叫《别让孩子伤在小学》，我没敢翻看，但书名却让我心里一颤：我肯定伤到孩子了。”王学峰说。

"I have a cleaning,The somebody else see the book on the desk,call[Don't let the children in primary schools],I didn't dare to read,But the title is let my in the mind a quiver:I'm sure that hurt children."Based said.

　　其实，伤到孩子的又何止一个王学峰？最新统计显示，我国义务教育阶段留守儿童已达2200万人，不知有多少童心仍在“失陪”中忍受亲情饥渴的煎熬。(记者 张 烁)

In fact,Injury to the child more than another based?The latest statistics show that,Left-behind children compulsory education stage in our country has 22 million people,How many child is still there"Please excuse me for"In the bear family suffering hunger.(Reporter zhang shuo)

　　

肩负光荣使命的外交官—— Shoulder the glorious mission of diplomats --

　　父母的爱，是隐形的翅膀 父母的爱,Is invisible wings

　　在常人眼中，外交官是个令人羡慕的职业：他们知识渊博，谈吐不凡，代表国家活跃在世界的舞台……可是，又有谁知道，作为父母，在职业光环的背后，又有多少与孩子天各一方的痛楚和无奈呢？

在常人眼中,The diplomat is an enviable career:They are knowledgeable,eloquent,On behalf of the state is active on the world stage……but,And who knows,As a parent,In the back of a professional aura,How much pain and helpless and children live far apart?

　　“第一天见到你，心里感觉很温暖，因为我们全家都团圆了。明天又要分离了，多么伤心的一天，我不想让你走，我想抱住爸爸的大腿，号啕大哭。”这样一首略显稚嫩的小诗，是一个外交官的女儿写给爸爸的。

"The first day I saw you,The in the mind feel very warm,Because our family reunion.Tomorrow need to separate again,What a sad day,I don't want to let you go,I want to hold my dad's leg,Cry about it."Such a slightly immature little poem,Is the daughter of a diplomat to dad.

　　“孩子，世上的母爱是相同的，但是，妈妈不能每时每刻在你身边见证你的成长，因为妈妈是一位外交官……当祖国的外交事业需要妈妈常驻一线的时候，妈妈不能说不，即使有了你，即使你还那么小。”这样一封令人落泪的书信，是一个母亲写给女儿的，女儿只有一岁半，可她不得不离开。

"The child,A mother's love is the same in the world,but,Mother can't on your side every second of every day to witness your growth,Because my mother is a diplomat……When the motherland's diplomacy needs her mother in a line,Mother can't say no,Even with you,Even if you are so small."Such an eye-watering letters,Is a mother to daughter,My daughter is only one year old and a half,But she had to leave.

　　这样的经历，这样的感受，对外交官来说比比皆是。你被自己的孩子称呼过“叔叔阿姨”吗？你的孩子知道“爸爸”是什么意思吗？一位外交官眼含热泪地说，出差上飞机的那一刻，孩子正发着高烧，但外事任务在身无法留下，从此，她的孩子生病了再也不找妈妈。

这样的经历,Such a feeling,For diplomats everywhere.Have you ever been children of their own name"Uncle aunt"??Your child know"dad"What's the meaning?One diplomat said with tears when,On a business trip on the plane at that moment,Children are the ill with a fever,But the mission cannot be left in charge of foreign affairs,From now on,Her child was ill never find mom.

　　为了工作远离祖国，难享天伦之乐，是外交官的家常便饭，而外交官的下一代则成为另一种意义上的“留守儿童”。他们比别的孩子更早地面临离别，更早地习惯独处。现在，国家政策允许和鼓励父母携子赴外常驻，但是，有的地方战火纷飞、枪声不绝，有的地方地处高原、空气稀薄，有的地方炎热干旱、疾病肆虐……外交官在五大洲每一面五星红旗飘扬的地方工作生活，而孩子们要留在爷爷奶奶、外公外婆身边生活三四年甚至更长。

为了工作远离祖国,Hard to enjoy family happiness,Is a diplomat,The diplomat's next generation would become another kind of sense of the word"Left-behind children".They face to leave earlier than the other children,Used to be alone much earlier.now,National policy to allow and encourage resident parents with their children to the outside,but,Some local wars/Gunshots on,In some places is located in the plateau/Thin air,In some places hot and dry/disease……Diplomats in five continents on each side of the five-star red flag flying place work life,And the children stay in grandpa's grandmother/Maternal grandparents lived around three or four years or even longer.

　　一位外交官的比喻很感人，“外交官对孩子的爱是双隐形的翅膀，和父母的分别会让他们心灵更加强大，飞得更高，看得更远。”

一位外交官的比喻很感人,"Diplomats to the child's love is a pair of invisible wings,And parents will let their heart more powerful, respectively,Fly higher,May see farther."

　　事实上，留守不是农村孩子的“专利”。在城市，因为父母两地分居或长期出差，因为父母忙碌而造成的“隐性失陪”或“半失陪”，这样的孩子则无法统计。(本报记者 牛瑞飞)

事实上,Left-behind rural children"The patent".In the city,Because their parents separation or on a business trip for a long time,Because parents are busy"Implicit excuse me"or"Excuse me half",That child is unable to statistics.(Our reporter NiuRuiFei)

　　

孩子成长不能等 Children can't wait

　　记者：对绝大多数人来说，孩子也许没有“留守”，但是，随着生活节奏加快，事业越来越忙，陪伴孩子的时间越来越少。钱老师，有人认为孩子只要吃饱穿暖就可以了，是这样吗？

记者:For most people,Children may not be"left-behind",but,With the quickening pace of life,Career is more and more busy,Accompany the children time less and less.The money the teacher,Some people think that children just eat satisfied wear warm,Is that right?

　　钱志亮：孩子的成长既需要物质基础，也需要精神呵护，尤其是来自父母亲人的呵护。二战后法国孤儿院的例子就很典型，当时，不论城市乡下，配给都公平等量，但若干年后发现，乡下孤儿死亡率远高于城市。原来在城市，经常有志愿者去抱或背孤儿，而在乡下，孩子本能的“肌肤饥渴”、精神呵护未被满足。

钱志亮:A child's growth is need material foundation,Also need spiritual care,Especially the care from parents.After world war ii, the French example was typical in the orphanage,At that time,Regardless of the city in the country,Rationing is a fair amount,But several years later found,Mortality rate is much higher than urban rural orphans.Originally in the city,There are often volunteers to hold or carry the orphans,And in the countryside,Child's instinct"Skin hunger"/Spiritual care has not been satisfied.

　　父母对子女来说是无可替代的，孩子能从亲子互动中获得安全感并诱发良性情绪，形成信任、依恋、依赖、期待等积极情感，学会交往、形成社会适应能力，并发展智力。可现在，很多“80后”父母把孩子交由爷爷奶奶、姥姥姥爷甚至保姆带，自己当“甩手爹娘”，殊不知因小失大——我做咨询，经常有年轻父母问：“我俩都是研究生毕业，怎么生这么个东西？”我总是反问：“孩子是研究生带大的吗？”也有家长咨询：“为什么孩子跟我不亲？”我反问：“是你带大的吗？”

父母对子女来说是无可替代的,Children can get a sense of security from the parent-child interaction and induce positive emotion,Develop trust/attachment/Depend on the/Looking forward to positive emotions,Learn to communication/Form the social adaptation ability,And development of intelligence.But now,A lot of"After 80"Parents send children to grandparents/Grandparents, nannies even belt,To become their own"The orphan of cutting",But penny wise and pound foolish - I do consulting,There are often asked the young parents:"We are from graduate school,How to life such a thing?"I always ask:"Children are brought up graduate student?"There are parents for advice:"Why children don't kiss with me?"I asked:"Were you brought up?"

　　记者：在孩子成长过程中，父母分别扮演什么角色？

记者:In the process of children growing up,Parents play what role?

　　钱志亮：父亲在孩子成长中主要扮演三个角色：智慧的启迪、人格的塑造和做人的引导。研究发现，与父亲在一起时间越长、做的游戏越多，孩子有大智慧的可能性越高。有父亲陪伴的孩子人格往往更健康——脸上有笑容、抬头挺胸、精神振作、内心阳光，他们做事更果断，思想更活跃，抗挫折能力也较强，人际关系良好。父亲还扮演着纪律教育、情感控制、做人监督等角色，引领孩子形成良好品性。

钱志亮:Father mainly play three roles in the child grow up:The wisdom of enlightenment/Shaping of the personality and life guidance.Studies have found that,The longer the time together with her father/The more games to do,Children have the higher the possibility of great wisdom.Accompanied by the father of the child personality tend to be more healthy, have a smile on his face/Hold your head high/refreshed/Inner sunshine,They do things more decisive,Ideas are more active,Antifrustration ability also is stronger,Good interpersonal relationship.His father also plays a discipline education/Emotional control/The person such as a supervisory role,Lead the children to develop good character.

　　母亲主要扮演两个角色：习惯的养成和情商的培养。由于母亲喂奶，注定了与孩子有更多的接触机会，孩子通过观察模仿，会形成与妈妈极为相同的习惯，而好习惯是终身享之不尽的财富。母亲的疼爱，能让孩子的依恋、信任、期待、希望越来越多，社会性越来越好、情商越来越高。

母亲主要扮演两个角色:Habits and the cultivation of emotional intelligence.Because the mother breast-feeding,Doomed contact with children have more opportunities,Children imitate through observation,Will form the same as the mother is very habit,And good habit is lifelong enjoy them all.A mother's love,Can let the child's attachment/trust/Looking forward to/I hope more and more,Sociality is getting better and better/Emotional intelligence is more and more high.

　　父母与孩子生活在一起，孩子会有很多社会角色模仿：女孩模仿妈妈、男孩模仿爸爸，无论是性别、家务、家庭教育角色等都会得到潜移默化的渗透、熏陶与自觉定位，否则，角色意识、责任感等都会受到影响。

父母与The child生活在一起,Children imitate there will be a lot of social roles:The girl imitating mother/Boy imitate father,Both gender/The housework/Family education role will exert a subtle influence on permeability/And consciously positioning,otherwise,The role consciousness/The sense of responsibility and so on are affected.

　　记者：缺失父母陪伴的孩子长大后，容易出现哪些问题？

记者:Missing parents accompany the children when they grow up,Easy to appear what problem?

　　钱志亮：有人曾用猕猴做过实验：把小猴从妈妈身边强行带离，在实验室里准备了一个有热奶的钢妈妈，一个没奶的绒布妈妈。按照“有奶便是娘”的推断，估计小猴会亲近钢妈，可事实不然，小猴不饿到迫不得已，都不离开绒布妈妈，一吃完奶就赶紧找绒布妈妈。这个细节，让我们看到婴幼儿内心本能的向往和恐惧，他们对温暖的依恋和需求甚至超越了食物。这些猕猴成年后，基本上都表现出冷漠、孤僻、不合群，甚至残忍地虐待孩子，这说明温暖的怀抱、慈爱的眼神、温柔的话语、肌肤相亲，是一个智力生命正常成长不可或缺的成分。

钱志亮:Someone once did experiments with rhesus monkeys:The little monkey forcibly removed from the mother,In the laboratory prepared a hot steel mother milk,A not flannelette mother milk.In accordance with the"Have milk is niang"The inference,Estimate the little monkey will close mom of steel,The truth or,Little monkey not hungry to necessity,Don't leave the flannelette, mom,一吃After the奶就赶紧找绒布My mother.The details of the,Let's see the infant's gut instinct desire and fear,Their demand for warm attachment and even beyond the food.These macaques in adulthood,Basically all show indifference/withdrawn/Don't fit in,Even brutally abused children,This shows that the warm embrace/Love's eyes/Somehow the words/His skin,Is an indispensable ingredient intellectual life normal growth.

　　在我国，目前“失陪”更多的是父亲，这对男孩最常见的影响是“父爱缺乏综合征”：害羞、情绪沮丧、自暴自弃、不求上进、少言寡语、不爱集体、厌恶交友、急躁冲动、喜怒无常、害怕失败、感情冷漠，严重的还可能逃课、早恋、离家出走、偷盗甚至喜好暴力，没有父爱的男孩更容易成为一个危险的男人。

在我国,At present"Please excuse me for"Is more of a father,The most common is the influence of the boy"The father loves the lack of syndrome":shy/depression/abandon/Don't beg aspirant/Few words/Love the collective/Hate dating/Impatience impulse/moody/Fear of failure/Emotional coldness,Serious still can skip classes/Puppy love/Run away from home/Theft or even be fond of violence,Not the father loves the boys are more likely to become a dangerous man.

　　孩子的成长离不开爹娘，缺失父爱母爱的孩子会感到紧张、有不安全感，导致负面情绪较多、积极情感偏少，甚至出现情绪困扰、人格障碍、行为问题。

The child的成长离不开爹娘,Lack of fatherly love motherly love children will feel nervous/Have no sense of security,Leads to more negative emotions/Less positive emotion,There are even emotional distress/A personality disorder/Behavior problems.

　　记者：面对越来越多“总是很忙”的爸爸妈妈，您有什么建议和忠告？

记者:In the face of more and more"Always very busy"Mom and dad,Do you have any Suggestions and advice?

　　钱志亮：美国的一项调查显示：在每周由他人看管超过30个小时的儿童中，有17%的孩子出现了诸如好打架、欺负人等行为问题，而那些每星期由别人照看少于10个小时的孩子中，只有6%发生了类似情况。

钱志亮:According to a study in the United States:The children look after by others more than 30 hours a week,17% of the children appeared, such as the good fight/Behavior problems such as bullying,And those by someone else to take care of less than 10 hours per week of children,Only 6% of a similar situation occurred.

　　现在很多人在家庭价值定位上出了问题，在生命传承与事业发展上本末倒置，等意识到孩子出了问题才追悔莫及。其实，让孩子有尊严且幸福地生活，是父母义不容辞的责任，轰轰烈烈干一番事业固然可取，平平淡淡陪孩子长大也值得推崇。

nowA lot of人在家庭价值定位上出了问题,In the inheritance and development of life put the cart before the horse,Realize the child out of the problems such as fell regretful.In fact,Let the children with dignity and live a happy life,It is a major responsibility of the parents,Pursue a career vigorous is preferable,Plain accompany children grow up also is worth promoting.

　　我的忠告是：家长要建立家庭至上的理念，重视与孩子在一起的时光，钱将来可以再挣，但孩子不能等。作为爸爸，再忙也要每天回家吃晚饭，每天和孩子玩一次游戏；作为妈妈，再累也要每天给孩子拥抱，每天给孩子讲一个故事。(记者 张 烁)

我的忠告是:Parents must establish the concept of family is the highest,And the children together of the time,Money can be earned again in the future,But children can't wait.As a father,Again busy also want to go home for dinner every day,Every day and children play a game;As a mother,Again tired, also want to give children hug every day,Give children a story every day.(Reporter zhang shuo)