为了儿子上名校，衡阳一女子频繁安排他转学，并数度迁居 In order to son on school,Hengyang one woman frequent arranged for him to transfer,And a number of relocation

　　

母子俩为此拌过不少嘴；心理专家呼吁家长与孩子平等交流 Both mother and son to mix a mouth;Psychological experts called for parents and children equal exchange

　　为了让儿子有个好的学习环境，孟子的母亲煞费苦心，曾多次迁居，因此有了“孟母三迁”的传世美谈。而今，这样的故事也在我们身边发生了，只不过这位“孟母”的一片苦心换来的却是儿子的反抗和不满。

In order to let the son has a good learning environment,Mencius's mother take great pains,Has repeatedly move,Therefore it is the"MengMuSanQian"Handed 美谈.now,This story happened around us,Just the"Mother meng"Betrayal only won the son of the resistance and dissatisfaction.

　　9月24日，住在岳塘区板塘铺的李伟华心急如焚地找到我们，儿子李龙(化名)上学不到5天就执意要退学，母子俩因为“上学”的事不知拌过多少次嘴。这天，她再次试图就上学问题与儿子沟通，可换来的还是李龙的愤怒与不满。

On September 24,Live in yue pond area plate pond shop LiWeiHua worried to find us,Son LiLong(alias)School less than five days is determined to drop out of school,Both mother and child because"school"Things do not know how many times mixed mouth.This day,She again try to school problems and son communication,Can change or LiLong anger and dissatisfaction.

　　

一年多换了3所学校 More than a year in the three schools

　　见到李伟华时，她眉头紧锁，一双手不停地向后撸着头发。看得出来，在之前的一段时间里，她过得并不平静。

LiWeiHua see when,Her frown,A hands kept backward lu the hair.Can see,In the previous period of time,She did not calm.

　　“太累了！”这是40岁的李伟华提得最多的3个字，好像只有这3个字，才足够道出她沉积心底多年的苦闷和无奈。李伟华出生在衡南县的一个普通农家，因为贫困很早就放弃了学业。因此，李伟华比其他家长更渴盼儿子因“知识”而改变命运。因此，从启蒙教育到高中，她都竭尽所能地让儿子“读名师”、上“名校”。尽管读“名校”的开支远远超过了李伟华的正常收入水平，但在她看来，只要能给孩子最好的教育，一切代价都是值得的。

"Too tired!"This is 40 years old LiWeiHua mention most three words,As if only these three words,Just enough to tell her deposit heart years of anguish and helpless.LiWeiHua HengNaXian was born in a common peasant,Because of the poverty of school very early.therefore,LiWeiHua than other parents more eager for son"knowledge"And change destiny.therefore,From the enlightenment education to the high school,She are doing their best to let the son"Read teacher"/on"school".Although read"school"Spending LiWeiHua far beyond the normal income level,But in her eyes,As long as you can give your children the best of education,All costs are worth it.

　　儿子李龙今年上高二。屈指算下来，仅高中两年，他换过的学校就有3所之多。高一第一学期，李伟华将儿子送到衡南县一重点中学。儿子成绩平平，且有风声说学校教学质量下滑，第二学期李伟华就托一远房亲戚将儿子转到衡阳市某省重点中学。在这所中学读书期间，因性格内向加上更激烈的竞争环境，李龙成绩出现大幅下滑，性格也变得更怪癖，李伟华于是将他带到湘潭求学，因为“听老乡说，这里每年都可以出大量的北大、清华生。”

Son LiLong high this year.Can count down,Only high school two years,He changed schools have more than 3.Tall one the first semester,LiWeiHua will HengNaXian son to a key middle school.Mediocre son,And the report says school teaching quality decline,The second term LiWeiHua he sent a distant relative will son turned to hengyang provincial key middle school.In this high school period,Because introverted and more fierce competition environment,LiLong results appear a sharp decline,Character is also becoming more peculiarity,LiWeiHua and took him to the xiangtan school,because"Listen to villagers said,Every year here can be a large number of Peking University/Clear Watson."

　　

为儿子上学几度迁居 As a son to school passing move

　　近年来，李伟华辗转几地，做过的工作不下十种。之所以频繁“跳槽”，李伟华说不是她的工作能力不行，而是 “希望儿子在教育环境好的地方上学，所以找工作也尽量挑在好学校的附近”。

In recent years,LiWeiHua toss a few land,Do not work ten.Are frequent"job-hopping",LiWeiHua said not her work ability not,but "Hope son in the education environment of good places to go to school,So find work also try to carry on the good school nearby".

　　受学历限制，李伟华从事的都是些简单的体力活。虽然累，但一想到能赚更多的钱供儿子上好学校，李伟华还是开心不已。

Restrictions by the degree,LiWeiHua engaged in are some simple physical strength live.Although tired,But think of can make more money for son superior school,LiWeiHua or happy unceasingly.

　　经过几番联系，今年9月，李伟华顺利将儿子转入湘潭某重点中学就读。可上学不到5天，乖儿子就直嚷着要退学了。

After a few and contact,September this year,LiWeiHua smoothly into the son of xiangtan a key schools.Can school less than 5 days,Good son stood cried out for dropped out.

　　面对儿子的突然转变，李伟华顿时手足无措起来。这些天来，任凭他人如何劝说，儿子要么一语不发，要么就是歇斯底里地反抗。而对于这些，李伟华只能终日以泪洗面。

In the face of the sudden change of the son,LiWeiHua immediately lose one's head up.These days,Let others how to persuade,Son or a language not hair,Either hysterically resistance.For these,LiWeiHua can only help sobbing.

　　

直面记者 17岁男生首露心声 Face to face with reporters 17 years old boy first dew aspiration

　　经过一番沟通，李龙最终同意和我们单独聊一聊，但有个前提条件，母亲李伟华必须回避。

After a communication,LiLong finally agreed to and we separate a chat,But there is a prerequisite,Mother LiWeiHua to be avoided.

　　在沟通中，李龙的懂事与敏感超出了我们的想象。

In communication,LiLong of sensible and sensitive is beyond our imagination.

　　“妈妈为了我，可以付出她的全部。”作为母亲唯一的儿子，李龙深知母亲的不易与艰辛。

"Mother for me,Can pay all her."As a mother only son,LiLong know that mother's not easy and difficult.

　　“我也很想取得好成绩，可是……”李龙没有说下去。稍微缓过神后，李龙主动与我们分享起了他生活中的点滴快乐。从他的话语中，我们不难发现，其实李龙并不是李伟华想象中的那样木讷、内向。恰恰相反，这个17岁的男孩对世界、对生活、对未来都有着自己的想法与规划。

"I also want to get good grades,but……"LiLong didn't say it.A little slow lead after god,LiLong active share with us up his life a bit happy.From his word,It is found that,In fact LiLong and not LiWeiHua simple-hearted imagined/introverted.On the contrary,This 17 year old boy to the world/For life/In the future have their own ideas and planning.

　　“我想有自己的成长空间，我不想让妈妈活得那么累。”李龙说，这些年来，母亲近乎疯狂地教育方式让他渐渐吃不消了。

"I want to have their own space to grow up,I don't want to let my mother live so tired."LiLong said,Over the years,Mother almost frantically education way let him gradually much.

　　“总是不和我商量，就把我往里面(名校)推，其实这样很不好。”对于母亲的所作所为，李龙虽在一定程度上理解母亲爱的心意，但他更希望母亲能尊重自己的意见和想法。

"Always consult with me,Put me into it(school)push,In fact that's not nice."The mother did,Although LiLong in a certain extent understand mother dear heart,But he was more hope mother can respect their own opinions and ideas.

　　在对话中，我们了解到，正式开学的那天，李龙因为一件小事与身边的同学发生了摩擦。事后的几天，对方又发动周围同学孤立他，“待在那里我就觉得自己是一个外人，什么都不是。”

In the dialogue,We understand that there is a,Official opening day,LiLong because one of those things and the students around happened friction.A few days later,The other party and then launch around the students isolated he,"Stay where I think he is a stranger,What are not."

　　陌生的环境加之紧张的同学关系，使得李龙一时间难以适应。

Unfamiliar environment together with nervous classmates,Make LiLong time difficult to adapt to.

　　“想没想过找人倾诉？”我们问。

"Don't think wanted to find someone to talk?"We asked.

　　“妈妈白天都在餐馆打工，没时间和我交谈。”

"Mother during the day job in the restaurant,Don't have the time to talk with me."

　　“除了找妈妈倾诉外，还可以找其他自己信任的人，比如心理医生、老家要好的朋友交谈啊？”我们问。

"In addition to find mom pouring outside,Still can look for other his trust,Such as psychological doctor/Their hometown to good friends to talk ah?"We asked.

　　“我怕丑，我想早点离开这里。”

"I'm afraid ugly,I want to get out of here."

　　

心理专家：家长应与孩子平等交流 Psychological experts:Parents and children should be equal communication

　　就李龙的情况，我们咨询了湖南科技大学心理学专家彭立春。

It LiLong situation,We spoke with hunan university of science and technology psychology expert peng spring begins.

　　彭立春介绍，面对竞争日益激烈的现实社会，很多家长在潜意识里形成了“上名校就好像搭上了成才的快速列车”的思想，盲目地把子女放入自认为优质的环境中学习、成长。

Peng spring begins is introduced,In the face of the increasingly competitive real society,Many parents subconsciously formed"The school is like latched on to a fast train"thoughts,The children blindly into think quality study environment/growth.

　　“其实这样有欠妥当。”综合李龙的实际情况，彭立春分析，由于自己的生活环境与周边的环境有着巨大落差，李龙久而久之产生了一定的自卑感，而这种自卑感体现在行为上即对外界的过于敏感，进而导致其自尊心特别容易受到伤害。

"Actually such has not when."Comprehensive LiLong the actual situation,Peng spring begins analysis,Because of their living environment and the surrounding environment has a huge gap,LiLongJiu over the years has produced a certain sense of inferiority,And this kind of feeling of inferiority is embodied in the behavior that was too sensitive to the rest of the world,And then lead to the self-esteem are particularly vulnerable to damage.

　　彭立春说，作为家长，可以尝试着从实践中进行干预。例如，平时从孩子的兴趣爱好着手，多与孩子交流沟通；站在平等的位置上，和孩子坦诚相见，及时发现他(她)的优点，并予以鼓励支持。

Peng spring begins said,As a parent,Can try to intervene from practice.For example,At ordinary times from the child's interest to,Many children and communication;Standing in equal position,And children frank with each other,Timely found him(she)advantages,To encourage and support.

　　彭立春表示，“家长要用一种孩子需要、喜欢的方式对其进行引导教育，而不是一味地为他们设定既定的成长框架 ，社会现在呼吁‘个性化教育’。”

Peng spring begins said,"The parents should be with a kind of children need/Like the way to carry on the guide education,Instead of blindly for they set established growth framework ,Society now calls for‘Personalized education’."