【导读】人到中年，突然间失去家里仅有的儿子或者女儿，所谓的“家”也就不复存在。他们有的害怕过年，有的不敢出门，有的失去了生活的方向。然而，日子总要往下过，他们经历的创伤谁来帮他们抚平？心里的苦难谁来听他们诉说？

[introduction]Middle-aged people,Suddenly lost its home the only son or daughter,The so-called"home"No longer exists.They are afraid of New Year's day,Some can't go out,Some lost the direction of life.however,Day always going to have,They experience trauma who to help them with their ease?The sufferings of the heart to tell who listen to them?

　　央广新闻晚高峰推出《中国失独家庭调查报告》。今天播出第二篇：心理篇。

Central news night out wide peak[China lost the family investigation report].The second article broadcast today:Psychological article.

　　中广网北京9月29日消息(记者李欣 车丽 周尧 实习记者黄雅琪)据中国之声《新闻晚高峰》报道，八达岭陵园，一块没有照片的墓碑，黑色的大理石泛着冷光，从左到右，并排着丈夫、女儿和笛儿妈妈三个人的名字，描上金字。右下角有一行小字，刻着“永远在一起”。按照北方风俗，这意味着一个人真正告别世界。

In the wide net Beijing on September 29 news(Reporter li xin CheLi a244 HuangYaQi practice reporter)According to the sound of China[News late peak]reports,Badaling cemetery,A piece of no photos of tombstone,Black marble extensive cold light,From left to right,Side by side with her husband/Daughter and flute son mother three man's name,Trace gold in.There is a lower words,Engraved with"Together forever".According to the north customs,This means that a man really say goodbye to the world.

　　笛儿妈妈：我今年五十八。没有再比这件事情更让人心痛的了，再也没有了，没有语言能形容这个事情给父母带来的灾难和痛苦。所以我们现在都不愿意说这个事情。

Flute son mother:I this year 58.No more than this matter to the heartache,Is no more,No language can describe the things to the parents to bring disaster and pain.So now we do not want to say the things.

　　笛儿妈妈说自己在四年前就已经死了，2008年的5月，她唯一的孩子，笛儿，在公派美国读博期间遭遇车祸不幸去世，生命在25岁的时候画上了句号。笛儿妈妈和丈夫随着女儿一起死了，埋葬了女儿也埋葬了自己，他们成为失独队伍中的一员。

Flute son mother says he is in four years ago already dead,In may of 2008,Her only child,Flute son,In the United States began to read during the bo car accident died,Life in 25 years old picture a full stop.Flute son the mother and daughter died together with her husband,Bury her daughter also buried himself,They become lost only in the team.

　　没了孩子，整个家就没了脊梁骨。笛妈不敢跟邻居说话。下楼前先悄悄打开房门，竖起耳朵仔细听楼道里有没有人，没动静时，飞一样跑到楼下，买完菜再赶紧跑回来，像做贼一样。超市里，遇到熟人远远地冲她打招呼。笛妈看到了熟人扬起的手，没等手放下，她就转过身去，逃开了。

Didn't the child,The whole family didn't backbone.Flute mother dare not speak with his neighbors.Downstairs to quietly opened the door,Prick ears that if there was anybody in the corridor,When have no action,Fly ran downstairs,After buying food quickly ran back again,Be like to be a thief.supermarket,Meet acquaintances far impact she say "hello".Flute mother see acquaintances raise hand,Before hand down,She turned,Escape the.

　　笛儿妈妈已经意识到自己的心理发生了偏离，经人介绍，她加入了一个群，他们都是全国各地的失独家庭组成的，而他们能做的，也仅仅是找到能够产生共鸣的人。

Flute son mother have been aware of their psychological has deviated,Introduced the,She joined a group,They are all over the country alone of lost family,And they can do,Is only find can relate to people.

　　笛儿妈妈：就是我们这些人，出了这些事情，好像都愿意去找同命人。这个QQ群很普遍，每一个群体好像都有吧。我们现在群很多，不是一个群了，以前，刚开始的时候是有两个，但是现在已经好多个了。

Flute son mother:Is our these people,Out of these things,Like are willing to go to find people with life.This QQ group is very common,Each group seems to have it.We are group of many,Is not a group of the,before,The first time there are two,But now it's a lot of one.

　　心理专家指出，类似的QQ群可以消除失独老人的孤独感，而初期的心理干预十分必要。

Psychological experts point out that,Similar QQ group can eliminate lost only old man's loneliness,And the early psychological intervention is necessary.

　　南京市心理危机干预中心主任张纯：如果在第一时间做点哀伤辅导可能还会好一点，我们以为时间可以冲淡一切，其实随着时间的推移他对痛苦的记忆会越来越深。

Nanjing psychological crisis intervention ZhangChun, director of the center:If the first time do some grief counseling may be better,We think that time can dilute all,In fact as time goes on his painful memory will be more and more deep.

　　为了更好的抚慰和开导失独老人的生活，上周，北京市东城区建立首个失独家庭心灵家园。街道在1500平方米的文化服务中心，为失独家庭专门开辟心理咨询室以及文体活动课程，还发放了包含7种险种在内的“暖心卡”，帮助他们宣泄苦闷、走出阴影。

In order to better comfort and channel of the old man's life,Last week,Beijing dongcheng district to establish first lost family home alone heart.Streets in 1500 square meters of culture service center,To lose the family special open counseling and stylistic activity curriculum,Also issued contains 7 kinds of risks, the"Warm heart card",Help them catharsis anguish/Out of the shadow.

　　抱团取暖的现象在失独这个群体中非常普遍，但是失独家庭的活动却非常简单，就是聚一聚，爬爬山。他们最难面对的，就是逢年过节。自从笛儿走后，每逢过年，笛妈和丈夫从不吃饺子，炒个大头菜或者大白菜就过去了。

BaoTuan heating phenomenon in this group of alone are very common,But lost the family activities are very simple,Is get together,Mountain climbing.They face the most difficult,Is the holiday.Since the flute son left,Every New Year's day,Flute mom and her husband never eat dumplings,Fried a turnip or Chinese cabbage on the past.

　　女儿走后的第二个春节，临近年关，鞭炮声渐渐多起来，笛妈听着鞭炮声，她说像炸自己的心一样，看着别人家欢天喜地，真的要疯了。仿佛是被鞭炮惊着了的动物，她和丈夫需要一个地方躲起来。于是，他们去了城郊一个小山沟，他们一呆就是一个正月。

The second daughter go after the Spring Festival,Near the end of the year,Fireworks sound more gradually up,Flute mom listen fireworks sound,She says like Fried his heart,Look at other people's house rapture,Really want to crazy.As if was firecrackers surprised the animal,She and her husband need a place to hide.so,They went to the bedroom a small valley,They stay is a the.

　　笛儿妈妈：一个小年的时候，家家户户都开始忙年了，买菜呀，买东西呀，这个时候我们就是最痛苦最不能忍受的时候。所以没办法，就都选择逃离。逃离这个家，这个家对我们来说，真的就不是家了，像一个地狱！

Flute son mother:An off year time,Every family began to busy years,Buy vegetables ah,Buy stuff,This time we are the most painful when the most can't stand.So can't,All choose to flee.Escape from the house,The house for us,Really is not home,Like a hell!

　　而有些人的逃离却是被动的，因为这个年，让他们备受排斥。上海一个失独者的团队相约一起吃年夜饭，去酒店订桌，老板知道了他们的情况，拒绝了这群抱团取暖的人，说“触霉头”。而这几个字，像刀子一样扎进笛妈的心里。

And some people's escape from it is passive,For this year,Let them the rejection.Shanghai a lost the only team together on New Year's eve,To hotel booking table,The boss know their situation,Rejected this group of BaoTuan heating people,said"Jinx things".And this a few word,Like a knife strike into flute mom's heart.

　　失独的痛苦、社会的冷漠、自我的疏离以及对未来的担忧，这一切的问题都在困扰着他们。而目前，关于失独家庭的心理干预始终没有明确的规定。

Lost only pain/Social indifference/Self alienation as well as to the future worries,All these problems are bothering them.And at present,About the loss of family psychological intervention has not clear rules.

　　但值得欣慰的是，今年八月，十一届全国人大常委会第二十八次会议分组审议《精神卫生法草案》，在审议现场，金硕仁委员指出，应当从立法的角度解决失独家庭的心理问题。

But thankfully,August,The first session of the 11th National People's Congress (NPC) in the 28th meeting of the group[Mental health law draft],In the field,JinShuoRen committee pointed out,From the Angle of legislation should solve the lost family psychological problems.

　　金硕仁：现在社会上，失独家庭、病残家庭、空巢家庭的精神卫生问题都很重要，这是我们不能忽视的部分。我建议在第二章里加一条，及时了解发现预防精神障碍问题。

JinShuoRen:Now in the society,Lost family alone/Disabled family/Empty nest family mental health problems are very important,This is we cannot ignore the part.I suggest that in the second chapter Riga a,Prompt understanding found that prevent mental disorder problem.

　　笛儿妈妈说，她也意识到自己的心理出现了偏移，但是不论怎么努力的调整，她都迷失了幸福的方向。除了熬日子，她什么都不能做。我们遗憾地看到，这个曾经为国家发展分忧的群体，如今迫切地需要社会的关注和关爱，而这种关爱需要政府科学、统筹、长期的安排部署。新的《精神卫生法》何时公布？能否增加关于失独家庭心理干预的条文？现在还不得而知，可我们可以了解的是，我们需要做的还有很多，我们能够做的也还有很多。

Flute son mother said,She also aware of their psychological appeared migration,But no matter how hard adjustment,She lost the direction of happiness.In addition to endure day,She what all can't do.We regret to see,This used to share the national development group,Now urgently need to concern and love,And this kind of love needs the government science/As a whole/Long-term arrangement deployment.The new[Mental health legislation]Released when?Can increase about loss of single family provisions of psychological intervention?Now is still unknown,But we can understand is,We still have much work to do,We can also have a lot of.