事实上，像周女士一样从小给孩子挑玩伴的家长不在少数，记者近日调查得知，有近三成的70后、80后家长，从幼儿园、小学就开始为孩子择友。

In fact,Like weeks as lady from children to pick to play with parents is not a few,Recently, reporters learned that investigation,Nearly thirty percent of the 70/After 80 parents,From kindergarten/Since elementary school friends for children.

　　典型个例

A typical example

　　妈妈将邋遢同学

Mother will be sloppy students

　　列入黑名单

blacklist

　　周女士的女儿朵朵今年三岁，今秋入读幼儿园小班。从懂事起，周女士就熏陶女儿，要衣着整洁，举止大方，并立志从小将女儿打造成"小淑女"。尤其告诫女儿，当流鼻涕时，一定要用餐巾纸或是毛巾擦拭，切不可胡乱抹在衣服上。

Weeks the daughter of ms were blossoming three years old this year,Fall into the reading class kindergarten.From 1 up,Weeks lady will influence the daughter,To clean and tidy clothes,Behavior and easy,And from the daughter to play will cause"Little lady".Especially warned daughter,When a runny nose when,Must use napkin or towel to wipe,He must not put on clothes.

　　国庆长假期间，朵朵不慎感染上风寒，鼻涕不断，周女士每天都会准备两包纸巾放在女儿的书包里，并嘱咐女儿，"如果流鼻涕了，可以拿出来用，不够再找老师要！"

National Day long vacation period,Careless were blossoming infected with cold,Nose constantly,Ms weeks every day prepare two packs of tissue in the daughter's bag,And charged daughter,"If a runny nose,Can take out,Not enough to get the teacher!"

　　"前天回家，看到女儿用袖子左一抹鼻涕、右一抹鼻涕，顿时感到错愕，这么长时间的悉心教导怎么功亏一篑了？"周女士不解，第二天接女儿放学回家，看到女儿的同学明明更为娴熟地用衣袖擦鼻涕，顿时明白了。

"The day before yesterday home,Seeing his daughter left with sleeves with a nose/Right on the nose,Immediately feel fright,Such a long time's good taught how the lip?"Weeks lady don't understand,The second day after daughter come home from school,See her daughter's classmates clearly more proficient with gusset blow your nose,Immediately understand the.

　　经过观察，周女士发现明明几乎每天都是穿着"睡衣"上学，生活习惯有些邋遢。于是，明明进了周女士的"交友黑名单"，周女士私下向老师提议，将两个小朋友的睡床分开，不要让他们在一起做游戏，不让他们在一个小餐桌上吃饭，以免不好的习惯相互感染。

After observation,Weeks when woman found almost every day is wearing"pajamas"school,Life habit some sloppy.so,Clearly into the weeks of the lady"Dating blacklist",Weeks lady private to the teacher proposal,The two children separated berth,Don't let them together to do the game,Don't let them in a small dinner table,In order to avoid bad habits mutual infection.

　　"孩子还小，不会分辨，当然得给她挑选好的玩伴，更益于她的成长。"周女士说，小孩子之间最喜欢模仿，比如一个孩子向墙壁上踢着玩，另一个孩子看到了就很容易跟着学，这些都是坏习惯，要把这些扼杀在源头。

"The child still small,Won't tell,Of course have to give her choose good playmate,More beneficial to her growth."Weeks lady said,Children between the most like to imitate,Such as a child on the wall to play the play,Another child saw it is easy to learn accordingly,These are bad habits,To put these kill at source.

　　记者调查

Reporter investigation

　　"儿子班上有个高高胖胖的‘调皮大王’，总是欺负小朋友，我们几个相熟的家长都一致让孩子不要跟他玩。"家住武昌的李女士说，有一次上手工课时，"调皮大王"抢小朋友的剪刀，一不小心割破了对方的手指，鲜血直流。平时小打小闹也就罢了，但这样的行为具有攻击性，担心日后会伤及儿子，就告诫他千万不要招惹"调皮大王"，直接漠视他。

"Son class have a high fat‘Naughty king’,Always bully children,We a few familiar parents consistent let the children not to play with him."Live in the wuchang of ms. Li said,Have a class on hand,"Naughty king"Rob the kid's scissors,Accidentally cut each other's fingers,Blood dc.At ordinary times on small scale also just,But such behavior aggressive,Worry about future will hurt son,He admonished his don't provoke"Naughty king",Direct disregard his.

　　"我曾再三要求老师给儿子调座位。"会计师胡女士说，儿子冬冬三年级时，有一天班主任说儿子上课时主动和前排的同学"讲话"。儿子一向遵守课堂纪律，怎么会突然拉着别人讲闲话？"和儿子深谈后，才知道‘罪魁祸首’是前排的同学，起初是他扯着儿子讲。听说那个孩子是倒数几名，担心拖垮儿子，所以硬是将他们‘隔离’开了。"

"I have repeatedly asked teachers to his son adjustable seat."Accountant says ms hu,Son winter winter three grade,One day the teacher in charge said son of class active and in front of the students"speech".Son always keep classroom discipline,How can suddenly took others speak gossip?"And son after drogba,Didn't know‘culprit’Is the front of the students,At first he is speaking at the son.Heard that the child is reciprocal several,Worry about son dragged down,So just will they‘isolation’opened."

　　父母之爱子，为之计深远。在随机调查的100位小学及幼儿园家长中，29位家长表示，给孩子挑选玩伴是很有必要的，让他们远离有爱欺负人、生活习惯不好、学习成绩差等缺点的同学。其中18位认为，必要时得采取强硬措施，疏离品行不好的孩子，以免自己的孩子交到"损友"。

The parents son,The meter profound.In random survey of 100 primary school and kindergarten in the parents,29 parents said,Give children choose playmates is very necessary,Let them away from love to bully people/Bad habits/Study result of the shortcomings of students.18 of them think,When necessary to take strong measures,Alienation conduct is not good children,In order to avoid their children make"Loss friend".

　　调查中也发现，七成70、80后家长在孩子交友上还比较开明，不主张将自己的主观意愿强加在孩子身上。36岁的张先生表示，从不干预女儿的交友，因为相信孩子自身的鉴别能力。那种为人处世太过分的孩子，大家自然都会疏远他，"物以类聚，人以群分"。

The survey also found,Seventy percent of the 70/After 80 the parents make friends on children is still relatively enlightened,No claim will be their own subjective desire in children.36 years old Mr. Zhang said,Never intervention daughter dating,Because I believe that child own identification ability.The world is too much in children,All natural will snub him,"Birds of a feather flock together,Birds of a feather flock together".

　　"我们班有个同学特别爱搞恶作剧，也不爱学习。"10岁的宇宇说，"有时他会躲在某个角落，出其不意地吓人一跳；有时又缠着某个同学讲绕口令，怎么都不肯停口；最过分的时候把铅笔竖立放在板凳上，恶作剧扎人屁股……大家都不喜欢他，甚至孤立他，不和他来往。"

"Our class have a classmate especially fond of playing practical jokes,Also do not love learning."Ten years old yu yu said,"Sometimes he will hide in a corner,By surprise scary a jump;Sometimes tease a classmates speak tongue twisters,How would not stop mouth;The most excessive time put the pencil erect on the bench,Mischief bristly ass……We all don't like him,Even isolated he,Deserting him."

　　孩子也有自己衡量朋友的一把尺子。他们眼中的"玩伴"，就是能玩到一块，一起画画、一起做游戏、一起吃零食……"爸爸妈妈没有强调说我要跟谁玩，我自己喜欢和画画很棒的同学玩！"钟家村小学一年级的彤彤说。

Children also have their own measure friend's a ruler.Their eyes"playmate",Which is able to play to a block,Paint together/Play a game together/Eat snacks……"Mom and dad didn't stressed that who am I going to play,I like and drawing great students playing!"Clock home village primary school, the first grade TongTong said.

　　有共同的兴趣爱好、乐于助人、学习成绩优异都是孩子们交友的首选条件。在随机采访的100名小学生中，42人坦言，父母会告诉自己，要多和学习成绩好的孩子玩。

Have a common interest/helpful/The academic record outstanding are the children make friends first choice conditions.In random interviews in 100 pupils,42 people said,Parents will tell yourself,Want to do more good grades children to play with.

　　"晓蕾太要强了，每次和她一起下棋，赢了就笑，输了就不理人。"五年级的琳琳说，"她是班长，成绩也好就是太小气了。妈妈对我说，要多和她在一起玩，向她学习，我总是很迁就她。"

"XiaoLei too strong,Every time and play chess with her,Won laugh,Lost ignore people."Fifth grade said around,"She is the monitor,Results all right is very stingy.My mother said to me,To play with her,Learn from her,I'm always very humored her."

六年级的晓俊也表示，自己并不喜欢跟妈妈"规定"的小朋友玩，感觉和那些优等生没有共同语言，可是自己喜欢的好朋友，妈妈又总说品行不好。"对此，我很无奈。"

Six grade XiaoJun also said,He was not like my mother"provisions"Children play,Feeling and the top student have no common language,But I like good friends,And mom always said conduct is not good."this,I am very helpless."

　　老师看法

The teacher view

　　"给孩子挑玩伴是有必要的，孩子间的确会相互影响。"从事班主任工作近20年的二年级班主任何老师说，当一名优等生和一名学困生同桌时，如果优等生的抗干扰能力较差，很容易受到对方不良习惯的影响，这就需要老师及时进行座位的调整。现今的孩子都是独生子女的独生子女，自我意识强，和以往的孩子相比，相处时更容易发生摩擦。近几年，明显感觉到来找自己"诉求"换座位、"分开"孩子玩伴的家长有所增多，但老师的座位编排都是从全局、整体利益出发，无法做到令所有人满意，这个过程中就需要家长们的理解、支持和配合。

"Give children pick playmates is necessary,Children really between will influence each other."Engaged in the teacher in charge work for nearly 20 years of second grade captain any teacher said,When a straight a student and a poor student when sit at the same table,If honors the anti-interference ability of the poor,Very vulnerable to each other from bad habits,This requires the teacher to adjust seat in time.Today's children are only child's only child,Strong sense of self,And before the child compared,Get along with more prone to friction.In recent years,Obvious feeling for his arrival"appeals"Change the seat/"separate"Children play with parents have increased,But the teacher's seating arrangements from global/Overall interests,Can't make all the people satisfied,This process will need parents understanding/Support and cooperation.

　　"幼儿园的孩子之间更多的是相互模仿，觉得好玩，就模仿其他人的行为、动作，实质上他们分辨不清对与错。"钟家村幼儿园小班老师吴老师说，建议家长用一颗平常心去看待孩子间的模仿行为，可以配合老师一起，告诉孩子正确、标准的做法，树立正确的导向。幼儿段的孩子都还未定性，如因为一些小摩擦而扼杀了孩子特定的人际交往群体，对孩子今后升入小学、初中的人际关系发展会有影响，要从小锻炼孩子和各种性格群体的社交能力。

"Kindergarten children are mutually between more imitation,Feel fun,Just imitate others behavior/action,In essence they distinguish not clear right and wrong."Clock home village kindergarten small class teacher Mr Wu said,Suggested that parents with a common heart goes to treat children room imitation behavior,Can fit with the teacher,Tell children correctly/Standard practice,To set up the correct orientation.Preschool period of the children is not qualitative,As for a few small friction and kill the child specific interpersonal group,In the future for the children to school/Junior high school of interpersonal relations will affect,Children should learn from this exercise and all kinds of character groups of social competence.

　　"与其给孩子择玩伴，不如给他创设最佳的学习环境。"汉阳区某小学一年级班主任曾老师说，家长们的性格、爱好、经济条件、教育理念相似，相对来说孩子也会玩得融洽一些。对于极个别带有攻击性的孩子，需要老师的密切关注、正确引导，必要时采取措施帮他们，以免发生安全事故。"现在班上有两个极其调皮的孩子，课间不仅找其他同学疯逗打闹，彼此间也爱动手。接到家长们的‘投诉’太多，无奈之下，只好让他们俩当我的‘小尾巴’，每天我到哪他们就跟到哪。"

"Rather than choose to play with children,He is inferior to create the best environment for learning."Hanyang a primary school grade one teacher in charge has the teacher said,The character of the parents/hobby/Economic conditions/Education concept similarity,Relatively speaking children will also play some harmony.For the extremely individual offensive children,Need the teacher's pay close attention to/The correct guidance,When necessary, take measures to help them,In order to avoid accidents."Now the class have two very naughty children,Break not only find the other students crazy funny pillow fight,Each other also love begin.To parents‘complaints’Too much,Helpless under,Had to let both of them when my‘Small tail’,Every day I to which they like to which."