如果时光倒退10-20年，或许很多人都曾有过因为性的懵懂而产生羞耻感与罪恶感。这种羞耻感与罪恶感，来源于传统文化道德的压力。如今随着社会包容性和开放性的增加，大学周边的日租房、钟点房，中学生们懵懂的拥抱与亲吻，已经逐渐增多起来。但是不可否认的是，如今在青春期性教育方面，我们的老师与家长，依然有些保守，青春期教育、生理卫生课往往形同虚设。这反而让青春期的孩子对此更加好奇。

If time back 10-20 years,Maybe a lot of people had because of sex ignorant and produce sense of shame and guilt.This kind of sense of shame and guilt,From the traditional culture of moral pressure.And now, with the increase of social inclusiveness and open,University surrounding day rent a house/The hour room,Middle school students are ignorant hug and kiss,Has gradually increased up.But there is no denying that,Now in the adolescent sex education aspects,Our teachers and parents,Still some conservative,Adolescent education/Physiological health class often exist in name only.This instead let adolescence children more curious about.

“罪恶” "sin"

　　济南也曾出现过自宫男孩。11月5日，当山东省性学会秘书长孟彦听说福建17岁男孩儿因为羞耻感与罪恶感而选择自宫时，他的脸色浮现出了一丝别样的愧疚。

Jinan appeared from the temple boy.On November 5,When shandong sexology will secretary general MengYan heard that fujian 17 years old boy because sense of shame and guilt and choose from the palace,His face emerge out of a other guilty.

　　在他看来，这个自宫事件是对如今中国青春期性教育一个最大的嘲讽，“同时也从另一个侧面反映出我们工作的不足之处。”

In his view,This event is now since the palace to China's adolescence sex education is one of the largest sarcasm,"At the same time also from another side reflects our shortcomings."

　　只是因为羞耻和罪恶而选择自宫，这样极端的案例孟彦并非仅仅是听说过，他甚至还曾经历过：“济南曾经也发生过这样一起极端的个案。”孟彦低下头沉思良久，这才缓缓的向记者讲述起他曾经的经历。

Just because of shame and evil and choose from the temple,Such extreme cases of MengYan not just heard,He even had experienced:"Jinan ever also had such extreme cases together."MengYan bowed his head thought for a long time,This just slowly to reporters tell the he had experience.

　　大约在上世纪80年代末90年代初，在山大第二医院生殖泌尿科工作的孟彦曾在某天接到了一个急诊：“一个家住在西营附近的男孩子，也是因为觉得自己总是勃起有些罪恶，于是选择了自宫。”让孟彦印象深刻的是，这个男子使用的是一片剃须刀的刀片，一点点隔断了自己的生殖器。“如今可能有很多人会认为这个男孩子有些无知，但是根本不是这样，他就是一个很单纯的孩子，当时的整个社会对于‘性’是很避讳的，家长们直接将其归类于‘罪恶’、‘犯罪’，于是当时的孩子们就觉得这样不好。”对于这个患者的结局，孟彦显然不愿意多谈，但是在随后的二十年的时间里，类似的情况孟彦也见过不止一次：“虽然不是割掉这么极端，但是也有一些让人很无奈的案例，比如说往生殖器上套螺丝帽，或者是套其他的东西，甚至有孩子怕遗精，用线将自己阴茎根部紧紧捆住，最后都发紫甚至险些坏死。”

About in the 1980 s and early 90 s,In the second hospital of shandong university, reproductive urology work MengYan worked in one day received a emergency:"One family lived in XiYing nearby boy,Also because of feel always erect some sin,So the choice from the temple."Let MengYan impression profound is,The man used is a razor blade,A little bit of partition their genitals."Now, there may be a lot of people will think the boy some ignorance,But it was not this way,He is a very simple child,Then the whole society for‘sex’Is very afraid of,Parents will direct the ranking‘sin’/‘crime’,So the children feel so bad."For this the end of the patients,MengYan obviously don't want to talk about,But over the next twenty years,A similar situation MengYan have seen more than once:"Though not cut off so extreme,But there are also some let a person very helpless case,For example to genital position nut,Or a set of other things,Even a child afraid of emission,Connect his penis root tightly bound,Finally appear blue even nearly necrosis."

　　这样的案例让孟彦如坐针毡，作为一名医学工作人员，他很清楚这些案例背后的隐性原因：“无非是缺乏性教育，尤其是青春期的性教育。”

This case let MengYan on pins and needles,As a medical staff,He is very clear about these case behind the recessive cause:"But the absence of sex education,Especially adolescent sex education."

无奈 but

　　去学校讲性，校长们叫好却都拒绝了2009年7月，山东省性学会成立了。

To school about sex,The headmaster gave the was rejected in July 2009,Shandong sexology will be established.

　　作为该学会的秘书长，孟彦跟学会的同事们进行过长时间的商量，有了一个大胆的想法：“做一个公益的青春期性教育，然后免费的送入校园，让中学生们掌握应有的性知识和青春期知识。”

As the secretary general of the society,MengYan and learn to colleagues for too long time to consult,Have a bold idea:"Make a public welfare of the adolescent sex education,Then free into the campus,Let the students master should have sexual knowledge and puberty knowledge."

　　这个想法在性学会筹备期间，就已经产生了，孟彦甚至跟省城不少重点中学的校长们进行过长时间的交流，而校长们的反应也让孟彦觉得很欣慰：“一听说我们进行这种公益活动，十个校长里有九个叫好，他们也都认为应该给孩子们进行这样的教育。”

The idea in the sexology will during preparation,It has produced,MengYan even with provincial capital many key middle school principals for too long time communication,And the principal reaction also let MengYan feel very gratified:"A heard that we the public welfare activities,10 the headmaster has nine hurrah,They also think should give your children conduct such education."

　　性学会成立后，孟彦再次兴冲冲的去找这些校长们，但是得到的答案却出奇的一致：“都委婉的拒绝了我们的提议，认为这么做‘影响不好’。”有的校长担心这些活动‘涉黄’，担心家长们会找来；有的校长则担心这种活动会产生催化作用：“本来可能就是早恋的孩子牵牵手什么的，但是怕看了我们的教育活动后大胆地去进一步尝试。”终于有一个学校答应先看看内容，孟彦把活动内容交给对方之后，也就石沉大海了。“我也明白这些学校的想法，所以我从没有怪过人家。”孟彦顿了顿，忽然提高了声音：“要怪，只能怪我们的这种传统，大家就一直‘避讳’这个话题。”

After the establishment of the will,MengYan excitedly again to find these principals,But the answer is amazingly consistent:"All of the euphemism refused our offer,Think to do so‘Influence not good’."Some principal worry these activities‘adultury’,Worried parents will find;Some principal is worried about this activity will produce the catalytic action:"Originally may be early love child brought in hand what,But be afraid of see our education activities to go boldly try after further."Finally a school promised to see first content,MengYan the content to each other after,Also the disappear forever."I also understand that these school ideas,So I never have to blame somebody else."MengYan meal meal,Suddenly raised his voice:"To blame,We can blame the traditional,Everyone has been‘taboo’This topic."

　　讽刺的是，在2007年曾有媒体进行过随机调查，结果发现学校里4成学生不满学校安排的性教育课程，有41%的学生认为“同龄人中有性行为”，而在孟彦看来：“这个调查的数据肯定不准，真实数字肯定比这个数字还要高。”

ironically,In 2007, there have been media a random survey,The results showed that the school 4 into students' dissatisfaction school for the sex education curriculum,41% of the students think"Sexual behavior among peers",And in MengYan looks:"The survey data must be no,The true figure must be higher than the number is even higher."

害羞 shy

　　好多家长比孩子还感觉难以启齿曾有科研人员研究表明，从人出生到生命结束，性贯穿于整个人的人生之中，尤其是对于孩子来说，他们对于性充满了好奇。“可以想象一下，从小到大，孩子们就一直被家里人灌输这样一种教育，即男孩子跟女孩子是有差别的，但是小时候这种差别更多的体现在服装和头发上。”当孩子成长到12岁左右的时候，身体进入青春期发育，性别特征更加明显，在孟彦看来，这种性别特征的出现，让孩子们对于“性”更加好奇。

A lot of parents than children feel was reluctant to have scientific research personnel study,People from birth to the end of life,Sexual throughout the people's life,Especially for children,They are curious for sex."Can imagine,size,The children has been family infusion such an education,That is the boy with the girl is discriminating,When I was a child but the difference is more to embody in the clothing and hair."When the children to grow up to 12 s,The body into puberty,Gender characteristics more apparent,In MengYan seems,The gender characteristics of the appeared,Let the children for"sex"More curious.

　　与这种好奇心态相反的是，家长与老师们反而更加的避讳，很多孩子在向家长提出此类问题时，一般家长都会“糊弄”过去：“据我私下调查，很多家长往往会以‘你还是孩子，长大了就懂了’这样的答案来回答孩子，也有的家长则很抵抗这些问题，干脆斥责孩子不该‘瞎想’。”在孟彦看来，家长们在这个问题上往往是“害羞”的。

And the curious mentality instead,Parents and teachers instead more taboo,Many children in the offering made such problems,General parents"deceive"In the past:"According to my private survey,Many parents tend to‘You were a child,Grow up they will understand’This answer to children,Also some parents are against these problems,Children shouldn't simply rebuked‘Blind to think’."In MengYan seems,The parents in this problem is often"shy"of.

　　石燕(化名)的儿子今年上初三，她也曾遇到过这样的尴尬：“大概是六年级下学期，忽然有一天儿子问我，男孩与女孩的差别，还问我什么叫‘遗精’、什么叫‘特殊情况’，当时就把我问住了。”石燕当时的反应很是强烈：“把孩子批评一顿，说他不该问这些与学习无关的问题。”

spirifer(alias)This year, the son of the third day,She also had met such awkward:"Is probably six next semester grade,Suddenly one day the son asked me,Boy and girl's difference,Also ask me what is‘spermatorrhea’/What is‘Special circumstances’,Then I WenZhu the."Spirifer the reaction is very strong:"The child's criticism,Said he shouldn't have asked these to have nothing to do with study problem."

　　但是随后石燕又对自己的粗暴有些后悔：“谁都经历过青春期，谁都曾有过好奇，我也觉得自己有些粗暴，也想抽时间跟孩子谈谈这个问题，但是每次话到嘴边又不知道怎么说了。”终于有一天，石燕鼓足勇气想跟儿子好好说说这个问题，但是谁知道当她提出这个话题的时候，儿子却很冷漠的看了她一眼，拒绝与其谈这个问题。“这样的问题很常见。”从医二十多年，至今仍在医院坐诊的孟彦，如今除了给病患进行诊断之外，还兼着对病患们进行心理疏导：“这么说吧，干了这么多年，真正有带着孩子来进行咨询的家长，真不多，我都能大体数过来。”有时候性学会组织讨论，孟彦也与性学会里从事中学青春期教育的老师们进行过探讨：“他们也很少遇到有学生去咨询这些问题，所以说很多孩子对于性是很陌生的。但是我保证这种陌生绝不代表孩子不好奇，相反他们对这个问题的好奇心更大。”

But then spirifer again to their own rough some regret:"Who have experienced adolescence,Who had curiosity,I also feel some rough,Also want to take time with children about the problem,But every time words to the mouth side and don't know how to say."Finally and one day,Spirifer get up the courage to say this question with a good son,But who knows when she puts forward this topic when,Son but very cold saw her one eye,Refuses to talk about this problem."This problem is very common."Medical profession more than 20 years,Still in the hospital ZuoZhen MengYan,Now in addition to diagnose patients outside,Still holds concurrently to the patients psychological persuation:"Put it this way,Dry for so many years,Real took the children to parents of consultation,True not much,I can come in number."Sometimes sexology will discuss organization,MengYan also and sexology will in middle school in adolescent education teachers into:"They also seldom meet has a student counseling these problems,Say so many children for sex is very strange.But I guarantee that this kind of strange never represent children not curious,Instead they on this problem more curiosity."

　　一方面家长们欲语还羞，一方面孩子们又对性充满好奇，这种矛盾逐渐演化成了另一个问题：即孩子们通过其他方式来偷偷的了解“性”：“比如说网络，而网络上的所谓的性知识，又是良莠不齐的，很容易对孩子产生误导。”

On the one hand parents desire language also to shame,On the one hand the children and to sex is full of curiosity,This kind of contradiction is gradually evolving into another problem:That is the children through the other ways to secretly understanding"sex":"For example network,On the network and the so-called sexual knowledge,Is the good and bad are intermingled,Very easy to the child misleading."

压力 pressure

　　“拔胡子难受，但同学的笑话更难受”

"Drawn beard uncomfortable,But students more bad jokes"

　　如果让如今的心理学者们复盘“福建17岁少年自宫”事件，或许周围环境的压力也是造成这一悲剧的主要原因之一。

If let today's psychological scholars checking"Fujian 17 years old young from the temple"events,Perhaps the surrounding environment caused by pressure is also a tragedy that one of the main reasons.

　　山东大学医学院医学心理学研究所的张红静副所长对于此事件有着自己的看法：“我觉得这不仅仅只是因为性知识匮乏的原因，很可能还跟这个孩子本身的心理问题有关系。”

Shandong university school of medicine institute of medical psychology ZhangGongJing deputy director for this event has own view:"I think this is not just because the cause of the lack of sexual knowledge,May well with the child's psychological problems with itself."

　　在张红静看来，这个孩子的心理上也很可能存在一定的问题：“如果说孩子本身没有精神疾病，那么这个孩子很可能是一个很内向的孩子，因为其周边的社会氛围等原因，让他对于生殖器勃起有一种强烈的羞耻感和罪恶感。其实如果看看现在社会的发展，我们其实对于性已经比改革开放前要包容很多了。”此外张红静还觉得，如今的青春期性教育，存在着一个极大的误区：“很多老师都在照本宣科的教《青春期生理卫生》课本上的知识，而没有去教给孩子一种辨别能力，我认为如今的性教育更应该教给孩子辨别的能力，而不是知识，他们获取知识的渠道其实很多的。”

In ZhangGongJing seems,The child's psychological also likely, there are some problems:"If the child does not mental illness,Then the child is likely to be a very introverted child,Because of its surrounding social atmosphere and other reasons,Let him for genital erectile have a strong sense of shame and guilt.In fact, if see now, the development of the society,We actually to have sex than before reform and opening up should tolerate a lot."In addition ZhangGongJing still feel,Today's adolescent sex education,There is a great error:"Many teachers in teaching from the book[Puberty physiological health]Textbook knowledge,And not to teach your child a discrimination ability,I think now of sex education more should teach your child the ability to discern,And not knowledge,They obtain knowledge channel in fact a lot of."

　　在孟彦看来，处于青春期的孩子对于周边的环境很敏感，抗压力的能力很差：“比如说初中一个班里，只有一两个孩子开始发育长胡须，往往会成为其他学生嘲笑或议论的对象，这就让他感到压力了，于是他开始自己拔胡须。那么同样，当一个班里大部分孩子都开始发育了，那些没有进入青春期发育的孩子也会觉得不舒服，也会有压力。这种压力会让孩子处于一种痛苦中不能自拔。其实不仅仅是性容易给孩子们压力，青春期的其他特征也会引发孩子的不安，如果家长老师无法及时疏导，就会让孩子受到心灵上的创伤。”

In MengYan seems,In adolescence children of the surrounding environment is very sensitive,Compressive resistance ability is very poor:"Such as junior high school a class,Only one or two children buding long beard,Often will become other students laughed at or about objects,This let him feel the pressure,So he started to pull out their own beard.So the same,When a class the majority of children have started the development,Those who do not enter puberty child will feel uncomfortable,Also there will be pressure.This pressure will let the child in a pain cannot extricate oneself.Actually not only is sex easily give children pressure,Adolescent other features can also cause the child's uneasiness,If parents teacher can't timely counseling,Will let the child by spiritual trauma."

　　孟彦一个朋友的孩子就曾因为拔胡须导致了上唇感染肿大：“我问过这个孩子，一根根的拔掉胡须不疼吗？孩子的回答让我更难受，他说：‘同学笑话我更让我难受’，我当时就很心疼，孩子太脆弱，如果他们都有了足够的知识储备，他们也许不会这样去跟自己的同学开玩笑，也不会有伤害。”

MengYan a friend's children had for drawing beard led to the upper lip infection enlargement:"I asked the child,One out of beard not painful?The child's answer let me more sad,He said:‘Classmate joke I more make me feel sick’,I was very distressed,The child is too weak,If they have enough knowledge reserve,They may not go so with my classmate joke,Also won't have hurt."