■专家建议 S expert advice

　　孩子个性和社会性的发展比学习更重要 The child personality and social development is more important than learning

　　华南师范大学教育科学院教授郑淮 South China normal university education academy of sciences professor ZhengHuai

　　华南师范大学教育科学院教授郑淮认为：“从宏观层面来看，现在社会越来越开放，青少年接受的教育也发生了变化，他们表达意见的愿望比从前更加强烈，因此，不论家长和老师对孩子提出怎样要求和意见，都应该建立在有效沟通、尊重儿童兴趣和意愿的基础上。”

South China normal university education academy of sciences professor ZhengHuai think:"From the macro level,Now the society more and more open,Teenagers accept education has also had the change,They express their opinions wishes more strongly than before,therefore,Whether parents and teachers to the child proposed how to request and opinions,All should be based on effective communication/To respect children's interest and the basis of will."

　　同时，他分析，青少年倾向于使用自己熟知并且能够掌握的方式来与家长、老师进行沟通；对于现在的小孩来说，网络、短信已经渗入他们的生活，通过这种手段发表意见让他们感到更无所顾忌，减少了尴尬和过去礼教的束缚，所以，使用新的表达渠道会成为社会的必然。

At the same time,He analysis,Teenagers tend to use their own familiar with and can grasp way to and parents/The teacher to communicate;For now the child to,network/Message had penetrated into their lives,By this means comment to let them feel more unscrupulously,Reduce the embarrassed and past the bondage of moral codes,so,Use new express channel will become the social inevitable.

　　他建议，教育者在教育的方法上应该更加讲求策略，例如能否应用同样的手段、在同一个表达平台上提供有说服力的资料，对孩子进行有效的引导。郑淮认为，这些方式有助于赢得孩子的心理认同。

He suggested that,Educators in the education method should be more stress on strategy,For example can apply the same method/In the same expression platform provide convincing material,To effectively guide the children.ZhengHuai think,The way to win the child's psychological identity.

　　“此外，事情发生的客观原因是社会对小孩的期望没有顾及到孩子自身的期望和感受，这也说明我们的教育制度离真实生活越来越远。”郑淮表示，随着孩子的成长和自我意识的形成、对自主自由的要求会逐渐增多，这就更需要学校和家长给他们提供更多的自由空间。

"In addition,Things happen objective cause is social children expect no consideration of the child's own expectations and feelings,It also shows that our education system is more and more far away from real life."ZhengHuai said,As children grow older and the formation of the self consciousness/For the requirement of freedom will increase gradually,It need more schools and parents to provide them with more free space.

　　“每一个小孩的发展都不一样，学习仅仅是一个方面，个性和社会性的发展在孩子的成长中占有更重要的地位，但是我们现在的教育鲜有顾及。”郑淮建议，学校和家长一方面要适当给孩子减轻课业负担，要给孩子的自由发展留下一定的空间，重视不同孩子身上不同的发展轨迹；另一方面，他认为这样案例的出现也恰恰表示我们的教育制度已经亟待改革。

"Each child's development is not the same,Learning is just one aspect,Personality and social development in the child's growth plays more important position,But we now education rarely take into consideration."ZhengHuai Suggestions,The school and parents on one hand should be appropriate to reduce the burden on their children,To give the child's free development leave some space,Pay attention to different children different development track;On the other hand,He said that the emergence of the case is just a token of our education system has to be reform.

给孩子更多 Give children more

　　自由选择的空间刘茜 Freedom of choice of actor of the space

　　■周刊速评 S weekly speed evaluation

　　十岁“优等生”不想把理想葬送在无聊的考试中，申请退学争取“自由空间”。当然只是冯邵一自己的想法而已，有这种想法的孩子其实很多，但往往被大人们当成“痴人说梦”。这次有点意外，冯邵一在天空城表达了这种想法后，引起了广泛的关注，或许我们的教育观正在发生悄悄的改变。

Ten years old"Top student"Don't want to ruin the ideal in boring test,Application drop out of school for"Free space".Of course just feng shao himself thinks,Have this kind of idea actually a lot of children,But are often as adults"Ask for the moon".This a little surprised,Feng shao a city in the sky to express the thought,Caused wide attention,Perhaps our education is happening quietly changed.

　　在传统的中国家庭教育中，家长像霸道的园丁，完全用自己的理想和志趣“修剪”孩子。孩子们一次次地被安排：学钢琴、学奥数、进各种各样的补习班……“虎妈”、“鹰爸”更是把这种教育观推向了极致。于是我们虽然看到“虎妈”、“鹰爸”培养出了少数的精英外，更多的是身心疲惫、没有激情、随大流的青年人。

In traditional Chinese families in education,Parents like arbitrariness gardener,Complete with their own ideal and interest"trim"children.The children are time arrangement:Learn the piano/Learn aoshu/In all kinds of cram school……"Tiger mother"/"Eagle dad"Is this kind of education to the extreme.So although we see"Tiger mother"/"Eagle dad"To create the few elite outside,More is exhaustion of body and mind/Without passion/Follow the crowd of young people.

　　在迪士尼的电影里，那些好好读书的乖孩子们时常在某一天崩溃，突然顿悟：生活不是服从和读书获奖，而是脱掉衣服尖叫着奔向大海畅游，然后选择自己喜欢的生活方式。然而在中国的现实中，勇敢的冯邵一随后还是“有些心虚”地发表文章阐明自己此次举动的目的：“公开表达自己的观点，然后看看大家的意见”；并“通过对话选择一种大家都接受的方式，引起爸爸妈妈和老师的注意”。他的父亲冯银刚也表示：“我尽管也不赞同这样的教育方式，但是作为家长也没有其他的办法”。

In Disney movie,Those who take reading lovely children often in one day collapse,All of a sudden insight:Life is not to obey and reading award,But take off clothes screamed and ran to the sea cruise,Then choose your favorite way of life.However, in China's reality,Brave feng shao a subsequent or"Some guilty"Published articles to interpret his purpose of this act:"Open to express their point of view,Then look at everyone's opinion";and"Through the dialogue choose a everyone acceptable way,Cause mom and dad and the teacher's attention".His father FengYinGang also said:"Although I don't agree with the education mode,But as parents also have no other way".

　　其实大多数父亲的内心是“分裂”。一方面他们希望孩子“成为一个平凡快乐的人”，另一方面他们内心深处却都深藏着要打造一个“了不起的孩子”的欲望。安排繁重“教育任务”，如乌云遮蔽了本该天真烂漫的童年天空。冯银刚还不错，允许孩子进行“可控”的试验。

In fact most of the father's mind is"division".On the one hand they want children"Be a ordinary happy person",On the other hand they heart deep but to build a"Great children"desire.Arrangement heavy"Education task",Such as dark clouds covered the sky should be innocent childhood.FengYinGang is good,Allow children"controlled"test.

　　我自己曾经也对这种被学校、家长“逼”着学的教育深恶痛绝。但想想孩子的未来也还真不敢大意。直到去美国呆了一段时间之后，看到美国孩子从小就学着选择，并选择自己想要的人生很感慨。

I ever also to the school/parents"force"The learning education detest.But think about the future of their children also I can't careless.To go to the United States for a period of time later,See the United States the child learn to choose,And they want to choose the life very regrets.

　　在美加，中学主科不多，很多是选修课，孩子通过上选修课发现自己的兴趣。他们还有一个“影子日”，跟爸爸妈妈一天，看他们怎么工作。孩子特别高兴，一天不用上课。还有个“职业日”，你想做理发师，去理发店跟一天；想做律师，去律师楼跟一天；想做护士，去医院跟一天。学校很早就做职业分析的测试，设计的问题很巧妙，不会直接问你喜欢什么职业，是通过各种小问题，拼出你的职业倾向。

In the United States and,Middle school few major subject,Many are elective course,The children through the elective course found their interests.They have a"Shadow,",Mum and dad one day,See how do they work.Children particularly happy,One day there is no class.There is a"Career day",Do you want to do the barber,With a day goes to a barber's;Want to be a lawyer,Go to your lawyer with a day;Want to be a nurse,Go to a hospital with a day.The school very early to do professional analysis test,Design problem is very clever,Will not directly ask what professions do you like,Is through all sorts of small problem,Spell out your career tendency.

　　但我们根本不让孩子想“什么适合自己”，而是什么专业就业前景好，大家都去考。孩子究竟想过什么样的生活也容不得有自己的想法。

But we don't let the children want to"What suit oneself",But what major better job prospects,Everyone to take an examination of.Children really want a what kind of life also let shall not have their own idea.

　　去年美国有120万高中生辍学，只有70%的高中生能拿到毕业证书。因为美国是孩子自己做出的选择，“我不想上”，“不愿意读”，家长也不能强迫他。有一部分人就完全按照自己的爱好选择经商或其他社会活动，当他们做出一定的成绩后，照样可以申请一流的大学，成为杰出人才。

Last year in the United States, there are 1.2 million high school students drop out,Only 70% of senior high school students can get graduation certificate.Because the United States is the child make the choice,"I don't want to go to","Don't want to read",Parents also can't force him to.There are some who is completely according to own hobby choose a business or other social activities,When they make certain results,So can apply for the first-class university,Become outstanding talents.

　　另外一些人，可能就选择职业教育，做蓝领一样很幸福。美国孩子的社会分流很早就形成了。中国的情况是，家长、社会都逼着孩子读书。因此很多教育学家在考察美国教育后说，中国教育其实只是照顾到了中间层次的孩子，而那些特别优秀的又有个性被扼杀了，比较差的孩子被耽误了。而美国可选择的教育却让各种层次的孩子各得其所，因为社会需要的人才是多层次的。

others,May be the choice of the vocational education,Do blue-collar same very happiness.Children in the United States social shunt very early formed.The situation in China is,parents/Society force their children to school.So many education experts in the inspection after the United States education said,Chinese education is just to take care intermediate levels of children,And those special excellent and have individual character was killed,The poor child was delayed.While the United States alternative education but let all levels of each child,For the needs of the community talent is mutiple level.

　　曾以《素质教育在美国》著名的旅美教育学者黄全愈说，学校教育、家庭教育、社会教育、自我教育四位一体，但前三者只是三脚架的腿，能拍到什么样的人生风景，还要看固定在三脚架上的自我教育能提供多大的取景框。因此让孩子自己作出选择在他的人生中的作用就格外重要。

Had to[Quality education in the United States]Commenting on cross-strait ties some time ago famous education scholars HuangQuanYu said,School education/Family education/Social education/Self education quaternity,But before 3 person just tripod legs,Can take what kind of life scenery,Also see fixed on the tripod on self education can provide much QuJingKuang.So let the child choose himself in his life more important role.

　　《下一代的竞争力：美国麻省理工学院中国总面试官的教子手记》在近20年为麻省理工学院选拔新生的面试工作中，蒋佩蓉女士发现了一个惊人的规律：那些只凭一纸高分的高智商申请者，往往被麻省拒之门外——美国顶尖级大学所看重的，不只是学习成绩，更重要的是整体健全的人和独立的思想。而独立的思想就是自我选择的结果。

[The next generation of competitiveness:Massachusetts institute of technology in the Chinese general interviewer's true godson hand]In the nearly 20 years for the Massachusetts institute of technology selection new interview work,JiangPeiRong woman found a surprising rule:Those who only by a paper high scores high intelligence quotient (IQ) applicants,Massachusetts are often rejected - the United States into the university values,Not only the study result,More important is the overall sound and independent thought.And the independent thought is the result of choice.

　　也有家长说，人都是好逸恶劳的，按照孩子的选择肯定就是“吃喝玩乐”，冯邵一的选择是“舒服地读书”，其实他作出这种选择时并没有想过人在社会上还要有安身立命之本。这时候就需要家长进行引导。

Also have parents say,Man is the indolence,According to the child's choice is definitely"Beer and skittles",Feng shao a choice is"Comfortably reading",In fact he made this choice didn't want to people in the society have the settlement.This time will need to guide parents.

　　在美国的中学，除了让成功的企业家、学者去做报告外，也让那些清道夫、消防员，甚至侍者去学校讲述他们的生活，让孩子了解，这就是“社会”和“人生”，看看自已将来是否愿意选择他们这样的人生，而在中国学校成功人士才会在被邀请之列。

In American high schools,In addition to make successful entrepreneur/Scholars to do the report,Also let those scavenger/firefighters,Even the waiter to school about their lives,Let the child understand,This is"social"and"life",Look at yourself in the future would like to choose their this kind of life,In China the school successful will be invited list.

　　我因此受到启发，孩子小学开始后的每个假期，如果去工厂采访就带上他，让他了解外来工的生活。另外还带着他看《凤凰卫视》的冷暖人生，并就其中各种人生进行探讨：什么样的人生是值得过的。这种方法好像还挺有用的，他从初中开始就明白了自己的路要怎样走，学习刻苦、自觉从来不让家长逼。

So I was inspired,After the start of child elementary school every holiday,If to the factory will bring his interview,Let him know the life of migrant workers.Also took his watch[Phoenix TV]Changes of life,And all kinds of life are discussed:What kind of life is worth living.This method as it is quite useful,He from junior middle school to see his own way to how to go,Study hard/Consciously never let parents force.

　　其实成人的社会俨然已是一场生存竞赛，我们都被各种竞争的硝烟熏染得焦虑无比。也常常怀疑，这人生真的有那么一场决定胜负的“战斗”吗？为一个好工作、好职位累得像狗，这样的人生是否就更“成功”？所以孩子选择舒服一些的方式，我也并不反对。然而我的儿子在去工厂看到外来工的生活和看了很多期《冷暖人生》后，非常郑重地告诉我，他不想成为社会低层的人。

In fact that's the adult society has already is a survival competition,We are all kinds of competition to edify smoke so anxiety.Also often doubts,This life really have so a decisive"combat"??For a good job/Good position tired like dogs,This kind of life is more"success"?So the children choose comfortable way,I also not against.However my son in to factories see migrant worker's life and see a lot of period[Life changes in temperature]after,Very solemnly told me,He did not want to become social lower people.

　　所以我在想，也许当孩子成长到自我意识苏醒的那一天，能惊喜地发现通过自己的选择拥有开拓生活的无限激情，而不是悲哀地发现自己已伤痕累累，身心疲惫无力回天。

So I want to,Maybe when the children to grow up to self-awareness awakening that day,Can pleasantly surprised to find that the choice of development through their life with infinite passion,Not mournfully found himself already scarred,Exhaustion of body and mind no turning back.