高考是又一次起航 The university entrance exam is set sail once again

一对北大毕业生夫妇的教子经 A pair of Peking University graduates the couple's godson

　　连远夫，男，18岁，小学就读于享有600年历史的北京府学小学，初中三年在北京十一学校度过，高中毕业于北京第二十中学实验班。2012年高考，被西交利物浦大学土建系录取，目前是AIESEC(国际经济学商学学生联合会)管理者之一。业余时间喜欢“玩”萨克斯、钢琴、贝斯等乐器，还热衷于摄影、登山等。父亲连百川：企业管理者，母亲富戈：北大医学部副教授。

Even far husband,male,Eighteen years old,Studying in primary school has 600 years of history FuXue primary school in Beijing,Junior middle school three year in Beijing. The school through,High school graduated from Beijing high school 20 classes.In 2012 the college entrance examination,Be xjtlu, civil engineering department admission,AIESEC is currently(International business economics student union)Managers of.Spare time like"play"sachs/piano/Beth Musical Instruments such as,Also keen on photography/Mountaineering, etc.Father even bacc the:Enterprise managers,Mother rich gerben:Department of medicine, an associate professor at Peking University.

母亲：求学路上的“助推器” mother:School on the road"booster"

　　早些时候由于工作原因，父亲连百川一年中大部分时间都是在外地出差中度过的，因此陪伴孩子的时间不多。从小到大，母亲富戈一直是连远夫生活和学习上的悉心“守护者”。孩子的兴趣是什么、学习成绩上有什么起伏、智能上有什么优势和短板，妈妈对这些了如指掌。妈妈对儿子非常了解，总是会在恰当的时候以恰当的方式给他提供有价值的建议，而不是逼迫，对此，儿子深表感激，他认为妈妈对他的关爱细致、无声而充满民主气息，“她知道动力来自于自身，强逼是不行的，一定要让我自己真心想做。另外，无论我的想法多么‘奇葩’，甚至在她看来多么不可思议，她总是很耐心的倾听。”连远夫说。

Because working reason earlier,Father even bacc the year most of the time is spent in the field on a business trip,So much time with children.size,Mother rich gerben has been even far husband life and study carefully"guardian".The child's interest is??????/Study result what ups and downs/The intelligent what are the advantages and weakness,Mother to these like the back of his hand.Mother to son very understanding,Always at the right time in the proper way to offer him a valuable Suggestions,Not persecuted,this,Son deeply grateful,He thought of his mother's love carefully/Silent and full of democratic breath,"She knew that power comes from their own,Coercion is no good,Must let I really want to do.In addition,No matter how my idea‘geeks’,Even in her eyes how incredible,She is always very patient to listen."Even far said Steve.

　　连远夫就读的府学小学是北京最悠久的学校，已有600多年的历史，因胡同内明清两朝的管办学校顺天府学而得名的，被视为“一座具有中国传统文化情怀，充满现代化教学气息的学府圣殿。”除了卓越的教学品质，连远夫的妈妈还非常认同学校宽容的教学理念，并将其贯穿于家庭教育之中。连远夫兴趣爱好广泛，无论是学钢琴、萨克斯还是学摄影，妈妈非但不反对还予以支持，她认为这些是陶冶性情和提高生活品质的有效途径。

He even far FuXue in primary school is the oldest school in Beijing,More than 600 years of history,Because of the Ming and qing dynasties in the alley of the pipe run a school the day FuXue known,Is regarded as"A traditional Chinese culture with feelings,Full of modern teaching of the breath of the temple."In addition to outstanding teaching quality,Even far husband's mother was very identity school tolerant teaching idea,And the family education of throughout.He even far interest hobby is widespread,Whether the piano/Sachs or learn photography,Mother not only don't object to also be support,She thinks that these are edify and improve the quality of life of the effective way.

　　连远夫从小喜欢观察动植物，一直渴望成为一名生物学家，但是初三体检时被告知色弱而学不了生物，为此他突然感觉失去了目标，情绪低落了很长一段时间。在接下来的高中学习生活中，妈妈一方面帮助儿子重新寻找适合自己的学业方向，重燃希望的火苗；一方面充分利用自己和身边的资源，像只勤劳的蜜蜂一样积极搜集各类家教资料、高考信息。“他刚开始有点排斥家教，后来妈妈帮他找到一位很有水平的数学老师，再加上妈妈的引导和付出打动了他，从此有了很大转变。”爸爸连百川介绍道。

Even far from husband likes to observe plants and animals,Always wanted to be a biologist,But medical grade when he was informed color weakness and learn biology,Therefore he suddenly feel lost a target,Depressed for a long period of time.In the high school life,Mother hand help son, to find a suitable for their own academic direction,Rekindle the flame of hope;On the one hand and make full use of the resources of the side,Like a hard-working bees actively collecting all kinds of family education material/College entrance examination information."He just started a little rejection tutor,Later my mother to help him find a very good math teacher,Plus mother's guide and pay touched him,Since then had the very big change."Dad even bacc the said.

　　重新振作起来的连远夫在成绩上有了很大提高，进入了北京第二十中的实验班，高三几次模考都高出一本参照分数线40分左右。成绩提高了，接下来就要考虑专业和学校的选择了。连远夫一直对建筑富有兴趣，并在初中就渴望能出国留学，英国的建筑教育和建筑体系是全世界的标杆，西交利物浦(简称西浦)大学是中国目前唯一一所强强合作，拥有我国和英国利物浦大学学位授予权的中外合作大学，妈妈便开始全面收集相关信息。“西浦2＋2的学制对我很有吸引力。是我实现在剑桥读建筑系硕士的理想跳板。可以说妈妈帮我收集了所能收集的一切资料并给我很多建议，但不干涉我高考志愿的填报。”连远夫感动地说。就在11月，已经考取西浦的连远夫又顺利通过了建筑系的专业考试，由此，他向自己的“剑桥建筑梦”迈出了坚实的一步。

Snap out of it's even far husband in the performance has been improved a lot,Into the Beijing of 20 classes,Three several die test tower above a reference mark line about forty points.Results improve the,Then consider professional and school choice.Even he has been far to building full of interest,And in the junior high school is eager to go abroad to study abroad,British architecture education and building system is the world's post,The Liverpool(Referred to as XiPu)University is the only one that is China willing cooperation,China and the UK have Liverpool university diploma awarded to chinese-foreign cooperation in university,Mother began to a comprehensive collection related information."XiPu 2 + 2 system has great attraction for me.I realize in Cambridge read master of the ideal springboard.Can say my mother to help me collected can collect all the information and give me a lot of advice,But not to interfere in my college entrance examination volunteer fill."Even far husband moved to say.On November,Has been admitted to the XiPu even far husband and smooth through the department of architecture professional exam,this,He told his"Cambridge building dream"Made a solid step.

父亲：成长路上的“精神导师” father:Growth on the road"Spiritual teacher"

　　连远夫的父母都是毕业于北京大学医学院的高才生，出生在这样的家庭，拥有这样优秀的父母，孩子深感荣耀的同时想必会有很大的压力，就像人们在谈论经典时普遍的观点：所谓“高山仰止”，经典好比高山，往往是很难超越的。连百川客观地评价自己的儿子是个“标准版的普通孩子”，“尽管儿子在截至目前的各类考试中的成绩算不得出类拔萃，但是通过我们多年的精心培养以及对他的了解，我确认他已经找到了自己的目标，并相信他会在实现自己理想的过程中收获成功和喜悦。”连百川说。

Even far's parents are graduated from Beijing university school of medicine's outstanding student,Was born in this family,Have such good parents,The child was glory at the same time must be there will be a lot of pressure,Just as people are talking about the classical general point of view:The so-called"GaoShanAngZhi",Classic is like a mountain,Is often difficult to transcend.Even the bacc the objective evaluation of their son is a"The standard version of ordinary children","Although son so far in the of all kinds of test result is outstanding,But through our many years of careful training and understanding of him,I confirmed that he has found his own goal,And trust that he will achieve their ideal in the process of harvesting success and joy."Even bacc the said.

　　连百川认为“教育”不仅指针对知识、考试、技能等的学业教育，还包括对性格、品质、思维等的正向影响和培养。“我和孩子的妈妈在孩子成长和教育上各有侧重，妈妈更多在生活、学业上悉心照顾，我更偏重对孩子意志、人格、品德、心理、乐观精神等综合素质的塑造。”孩子成长过程中都会有个叛逆期，只是轻重程度和表现形式各有不同而已。说到自己之前很少陪伴孩子，连百川多少表现出一些遗憾，但他庆幸自己适时地把握住了时机，找到了与孩子实现良好沟通的途径。

Even bacc the think"education"Not only pointer to knowledge/test/Skills and academic education,Also include the character/quality/The positive influence on thinking and culture."My child and I mother in child growth and education on the focus,Mother more in life/Academic care,I am more attention to children will/personality/character/psychological/Optimism, and other comprehensive quality of the model."The growing process of children will have a rebellious period,Just weight degree and form each have different ways.Before that he rarely with children,Even the sichuan many show some regret,But he was gratified that his timely grasp the opportunity,Find the children realize good communication way.

　　说到孩子的“闪光点”，连百川说最让自己欣慰的是看到儿子渐趋成熟的心智、踏实的善心、以苦为乐的精神和身上洋溢的蓬勃、自信、积极的朝气。他认为父亲与儿子的交流不必多，重在质量，如今他会偶尔会和在外地上学的儿子互通短信，彼此交流观点和感受。连百川还自豪地介绍，儿子本想通过网络报名，申请成为AIESEC在中国大陆地区的一名普通义工，却意外地通过了AIESEC三轮测试并任命为项目管理者。“今年寒假他将按计划去印度体验义工生活，他对此很兴奋。他觉得这是完善自己、放眼世界和丰富经历的机会。”

Said to the child's"sparking",Even the sichuan say the most let oneself are pleased to see son gradually mature mind/Slowly but surely a heart/The pleasure of taking pains spirit and body flush vigorous/confidence/Positive spark.He thought that father and son's communication need not much,Focuses on quality,Now he would occasionally go to school in the field and the son of SMS communication,Sharing ideas and feelings.Even the sichuan also proud introduced,Son wanted to sign up through the network,Apply for AIESEC in mainland China an ordinary volunteers,But accidentally passed AIESEC three test and appointed project management."Winter vacation this year he is scheduled to go to India to experience volunteer life,He was very excited.He thought it was perfect/Look around the world and rich experience of opportunity."

吃苦：锻造毅力和自信的必修课 hardship:Forging perseverance and confidence of the required course

　　高尔基曾说“爱孩子是老母鸡都会做的事情，可是要善于教育他们，这是国家的一桩大事，需要才能和全部的生活知识。”这就是说爱孩子是包括人在内的动物的一种本能，而怎样理性的爱孩子则需要一种智慧，如果“爱”沦为“溺爱”，必将导致孩子在生存和精神上的残疾。从诺贝尔奖设立以来，全世界的获奖者中大约有22%是犹太人；犹太人仅占世界人口的2%-3%，却涌现了洛克菲勒、格林斯潘等操纵世界经济命脉的犹太裔巨擎。究其教育的根源，乃是犹太人在教育方面非常注重孩子独立意识、生存能力和吃苦精神的培养。对此，连百川深表赞同，他认为吃苦不仅可以锤炼人的意志，还能孵化出人的自信。

Golgi said"Love the child is old hen will do,But they should be good at education,This is the country's a major concern,Need to and all life knowledge."This means that love children, including human beings, is a kind of animal instinct,And how to rational love the children need a kind of wisdom,if"love"into"Dote on",Will inevitably lead to the child in the survival and mental disability.Since established from the Nobel Prize,The world of the winners of about 22% was a Jew;The jews accounted for only 2% of the world's population - 3%,But the emerging Rockefeller/Greenspan and control the world economy jewish giant.Investigate its education of the root,But the jews in education is to pay attention to the child independent consciousness/Survival ability and the cultivation of the spirit to bear hardships.this,Even the sichuan very much agree with,He thought that not only can bear hardships and will,Can also spawned the man's confidence.

　　连百川回忆自己的童年时代，所谓的吃苦教育并非家长有意为之，而是艰苦的生活条件使然。夫妻二人经过多年的努力和积累，将小家经营得舒适而殷实，在这样优越的条件下，想让孩子获得真正的锻炼就需要家长“心狠”，愿意并善于给孩子“找苦”吃。

Even the bacc the memories of his childhood,The so-called hard education is not for the parents to,But due to hard conditions of life.Both the husband and wife after years of efforts and accumulation,Small business will have comfortable and substantial,In such a favorable conditions,Want to let children get real exercise will need to parents"merciless",Willing and good for children"Find bitter"eat.

　　现在孩子一般都是溺爱过来的，多数孩子在10岁左右容易焦躁，喜欢和家长辩论甚至吵架，连远夫也不例外。在他10岁左右，就经常和妈妈辩论，而且显的很焦躁，他自以为自己很有理，按照平常说理的方法很难说服他。爸爸发现了这个问题，知道靠打压和说理是解决不了的，也曾多次尝试，结果是无效的。一次，一家三口去爬香山，爸爸发现儿子很开心，跑在前头，很快就到了山顶。而且在上下山途中，爸爸发现和儿子沟通很顺畅。连百川发现登山是父子交流很好的方式，而且整个爬山过程中，儿子非常开心而安静，一点都不焦躁了。连百川认为登山是亲近自然、锻炼体魄和意志力的有效方式。为了培养儿子对登山的兴趣，在儿子10岁的时候就给他配备了专业而齐全的登山装备，“每次登山，我都不让儿子‘闲着’，要像我们一样背东西。他第一次负重登山是在11岁登阳台山的时候，12岁登松山时负重20斤，13岁过生日登泰山时已经可以负重30斤了。”连百川回忆说很多人当时都向自己投来质疑的目光，觉得这个父亲真狠心，“儿子在负重登山的过程中一次次挑战自己的体力和意志，每一次小小的成功都会带给他喜悦，渐渐的，他在‘苦’中体会到甜，体会到战胜自我的成就感。连百川引导儿子“我比别的孩子更能吃苦，这是个优势”，在‘以苦为乐’中找到了自信。”连百川认为，包括负重登山在内的吃苦训练有助于孩子积极性格的塑造，使他富有应对挫折的勇气。“他并不满意自己今年的高考成绩，但是自己很快就走出了情绪的低谷，当他对我说‘高考意味着另一道起跑线，自己真正奋斗的人生开始了，自己要开足马力’时，我为他高兴。”连百川说。

Now the children are generally dote on over,Most children are ten years old or so easy frets,Like and parents debate even quarrel,Even far husband is no exception.When he was ten years old,It often and mother debate,And show very anxious,He thinks himself very rational,According to the common reasons things out the method it is difficult to persuade him.Dad found this problem,Know to rely on pressure and reasoning is can't be solved,Also attempts to,The result is invalid.a,A family of three to climb the fragrant hills,My father found son very happy,Ran in front of them,Soon got to the top of the mountain.And on the way down the mountain,Father and son that communication is smooth.Even the sichuan found mountaineering is father and son communication is good way,And the entire process of mountain climbing,Son is very happy and quiet,Is not the frets.Even the sichuan think mountaineering is close to nature/Exercise body and willpower of the effective way.In order to develop the son to climbing interest,Son in ten years old gave him equipped with professional and complete climbing equipment,"Every time climbing,I don't let the son‘idle’,We like the same things back.He first load mountaineering is 11 years old YangTaiShan's time,12 when an item weight and jin,13 years old birthday climb mount tai has can load 30 jins."Even the sichuan recalled a lot of people were to throw to question the eye,Think of the father really cruel,"Son in the load in the process of climbing again challenge their strength and will,Every small success will bring him joy,gradually,he‘bitter’To sweet,Realize the conquest of the self sense of achievement.Even the son of sichuan guide"I can be more than other children,This is an advantage",in‘With a pain for a pleasure’To find the confidence."Even bacc the think,Including weight mountaineering, training hard to help children with positive personality shaping,Make him rich deal with the frustration of courage."He is not satisfied with their university entrance exam this year,But he soon out of the emotional lows,When he said to me‘College entrance examination means another a starting line,Their real struggle life began,You want to tweak’when,I'm happy for him."Even bacc the said.

出国：不应成为“逃避”高考的理由 Go abroad:Should not be"escape"Reason for the college entrance examination

　　很多人批判目前的高考制度，连百川却认为它并非一无是处，“至少它是目前社会背景下相对平等、公允和透明的形式。人与人的智力差别并不是很大，在相同或相似的环境下，只要勇于拼搏、肯下功夫，就会脱颖而出。”连百川认为，中学，尤其是充满压力的高中三年是锻炼人意志品质的时机，“围绕高考的应试教育类似于军训，是孩子成长过程中一种高强度的‘打磨’，在某种程度上说，它是对‘先天不足’的幼儿、少儿阶段教育的弥补。”

A lot of people critical current college entrance examination system,Even the sichuan but think it is not good for nothing,"At least it is the social background relative equality/Fair and transparent form.The difference between intelligence and is not very big,In the same or similar circumstances,As long as the courage to fight/Willing to work hard,Will stand out."Even bacc the think,Middle school,Especially with the pressure of high school three years is exercise people will quality time,"Around the university entrance exam takes an exam the education YuJunXun similar,The growing process of children is a kind of high intensity‘burnish’,In a way,It is to‘Congenital deficiency’children/Children's stage education to make up for."

　　鉴于对目前高考和学校教育的理解和思考，连百川坚决反对儿子不经高考直接出国。刚升入高一的连远夫尚未走出“生物学家梦想”磨灭的阴影，加之周围许多同学、朋友选择了不参加国内高考，直接去国外读书，连远夫的心也开始“蠢蠢欲动”了。“我有很多朋友的孩子都选择了这条路，大多是失败的。很多选择中学出国的，往往具备一个条件和一个原因。所谓条件就是家庭有厚实的经济实力，所谓原因就是孩子想借此逃避高考、逃避枯燥而艰苦的高中学习生活。”尽管儿子为了说服父母做了大量工作，尽管连百川夫妇在孩子教育上一直秉承“民主”精神，但在高考前出国这件事上，两人亮出了自己明确的态度：不是不允许出国，但一定要经过高考，经历一段大学生活或者高考结束以后再出去！

In view of the present college entrance examination and school education understanding and thinking,Even the sichuan firmly against the son is not directly by the university entrance exam to go abroad.Just to the higher even far husband has not yet out of"Biologists dream"The shadow of an,And many students around/Friends chose not to participate in the domestic college entrance examination,Direct to study abroad,Even far husband heart also began"move"the."I have a lot of friend's children chose this way,Mostly a failure.Many choices of middle school to go abroad,Often have a condition and a reason.The condition is that family has thick economic strength,The reason is that the children would like to take the college entrance examination to escape/Avoid boring and hard high school life."Although son to persuade parents do a lot of work,Although even bacc the couple in children education has always been adhering to the"democracy"spirit,But in the college entrance examination before going abroad,Two people reveals his clear attitude:Not allowed to go abroad,But it should pass the college entrance examination,Through a period of university life or go out again after the college entrance examination!

　　“我的观点是，出国要么趁早，条件合适的话孩子小学或者幼儿园阶段就送出去，那时候孩子语言适应能力强，可以充分享受国外少儿教育的丰硕成果；要么就在跨进国内大学门槛以后。如果仅为了逃避高考而出去，没有顽强的毅力和吃苦精神，到头来国内没有基本保障，国外无法立足，只能两手空空。”连百川回忆说，高中阶段的孩子已经具备了很大的信息量，逻辑思维也比较缜密了，要彻底打消他的念头又不让他因此产生消极态度，只能以雄辩的事实和道理征服他，让他真正心悦诚服。于是连百川晓之以理、动之以情，从人生、生活、生命三个大角度，终于说服了儿子。

"My point is,Go abroad or time,Conditions are right word child elementary school or kindergarten stage sent out,At that time your child's language a strong ability to adapt,Can fully enjoy the great achievements of foreign children's education;Or into the domestic university after the threshold.If only to avoid the university entrance exam and went out,No tenacious perseverance and hard spirit,In the end no domestic basic guarantee,Abroad can't based on,Can only empty handed."Even the sichuan recalled,High school children already have a large amount of information,Logical thinking and more careful the,Thoroughly dispel his idea and wouldn't let him therefore produce negative attitude,Only with eloquent facts and reason to conquer him,Let him really be convinced.So even the bacc the dawn of Daniel/"Magny cours,From the life/life/Life three big Angle,Finally persuaded the son.

　　目前，西浦大部分课程都采用英文教学，连远夫在完成西浦为期两年的国内教育之后，将在英国利物浦大学学习两年，最终获得国内外两个学士学位。对此，连远夫由衷地表示，是父母帮助自己作出了正确的选择。

At present,Most of the XiPu courses in English teaching,He even far in complete XiPu for a period of two years after domestic education,Liverpool will be at a UK university two years,At home and abroad to achieve two bachelor's degree.this,Even far husband sincerely said,Parents help you made the right choice.

采访手札 Interview you may

智慧之爱是给予孩子生命的力量 The love of wisdom is to give children the power of life

　　听连百川描述和孩子一起负重登山的往事就联想到在欧洲街头经常看到的情景：年轻的父母带着两三个孩子，每人身上背着一个自己的背包，有的背包甚至可以和孩子“媲高”。一家几口大大小小，他们步伐从容，表情淡定。父母不会因此遭受“心狠”的骂名，孩子也乐得承担，更没有因为负重而影响身高的发展。

Listen to the sichuan even described together with the child weight climbing past associate in Europe street often seen:Young parents took two or three children,Each of them carried a his backpack,Some backpack can even and children"Pi high".A few bites greatly small,They easy pace,Expression calm.Parents won't suffer from"merciless"Vivid of,The children are happy to bear,Because there is no weight and influence the development of height.

　　又不禁联想到每次送孩子去幼儿园路上碰到的那位送小姑娘去幼儿园的老人家(奶奶或姥姥)，从夏天抱到冬天。溽热的夏天看到他们，心想：这么热的天还抱着，不会起痱子吗？严寒的冬天看到他们，心想：老人孩子都穿那么厚的衣服，不怕摔跤吗？

And can not help but think of every time send their children to nursery school met the girl to go to kindergarten old man(Grandma or grandmother),From summer to winter arms.Oppressively hot summer to see them,thought:So hot day still hold,It won't have prickly heat?Cold winter to see them,thought:The old man children wear so thick clothes,Are not afraid of wrestling??

　　上海犹太母亲沙拉是一位善于学习的优秀母亲，在总结自己的教子心得时，她说一位犹太邻居大婶的话曾给了她很多启示：父母不能代替孩子长大。父母都疼爱自己的孩子，但这份爱是要有质量的。有的爱就像清水一样，润过孩子干渴的喉咙之后就无影无踪了；而有的爱则好像浓浓的鲜血，注入孩子们的身心，一生都将在孩子的身上流动，给予孩子们生命的力量。

Shanghai jewish mother salad is a good mother is good at learning,At the conclusion of the his godson when experience,She said a jewish neighbor aunt words gave her a lot of enlightenment:Parents can't take the place of the children to grow up.All parents love their children,But the love is to have quality.Some love is like as water,Embellish the child thirst throat then vanished into thin air;And some love is like a thick blood,Into the children's body and mind,Life will be in the child's body flow,Give children the power of life.

　　“感谢爸爸妈妈给了我机会，让我成为想成为的人。”连远夫说，“他们一直是我人生中充满智慧的引导者。”是的，合格的、成功的家长应该是睿智的引导者，而不是包办者，不代替吃苦，不包揽人生责任。(向平)

"Thank mom and dad gave me the opportunity,Let me be what you want to be."Even far said Steve,"They have been in my life is full of wisdom guide."yes,qualified/Successful parents should be wise guidance,Instead of the package,Don't replace hardship,Don't scored life responsibility.(To flat)