打骂是惩罚的极端性行为，适当、适时科学的惩罚才能对孩子起警戒作用。

Beat and scold is punished extreme sex,appropriate/Timely scientific punishment to the child the warning role.

　　眼下，随着家庭教育知识的日益普及，“重教轻罚”已成广大家长的共识。在人们的潜意识中，惩罚是打骂的代名词，因而常常在报刊上见到少数家长对孩子罚站、罚跪、罚饿甚至虐待孩子致死的报道，这些家长便是对惩罚缺乏正确的理解和把握。

the,With the increasing popularity of the family education knowledge,"And light punishment"Has become the consensus of the parents.In people's subconscious in,Punishment is the pronoun of beat and scold,So often on the newspapers and magazines for children to see a few parents make stand as punishment/Penalty knelt/Even a hungry child abuse reports of deaths,These parents is to punish the lack of correct understanding and grasp.

　　教育心理学家认为，惩罚的方式多种多样；打骂只是其中的一种，是惩罚的极端性行为。错用、滥用惩罚以致不负责任地对孩子的肉体和心灵施暴，会加重孩子的逆反心理，长此以往就会使惩罚失效，导致最终“管不住孩子”；而适当、适时的科学的惩罚却能对孩子起警戒作用，促使孩子改正错误，从而收到以罚助教、以罚代教的效果。

Education psychologists think,There are so many ways to punishment;Beat and scold is just one of them,Punishment is the extreme sex.Wrong with/Abuse punishment so irresponsibly to the child body and mind violence,Will increase the child's psychological inversion,In the long run will make punish failure,Would eventually lead to"Tube not children";And the appropriate/Timely scientific punishment but to the child the warning role,Urge correct errors,Thus to receive a teaching assistant/To punish and the effect of teaching.

　　所以说，惩罚是一门家教艺术，惩罚能否达到预期的效果，关键是看父母能否使用得当。

so,Punishment is a tutor art,Punishment can achieve the desired effect,The key is to see parents can be used correctly.

　　学问1：惩罚的“量刑”要适当 Learning 1:punishment"sentencing"To appropriate

　　惩罚孩子的目的自然是为了引起孩子的良性转化，那么惩罚的“量刑”就必须合乎孩子的行为。

The purpose of punishing the children nature is to cause the child's good transform,So punishment"sentencing"We must according to the child's behavior.

　　惩罚过重容易引起孩子的对抗情绪，太轻了又不足以使孩子引以为戒。因此惩罚孩子要以达到目的为原则，既不能轻描淡写，又不能小题大做滥用“刑罚”。

Punishment is overweight easy to cause the child's rivalry,It's too light and not enough to make the child warning.Therefore punish children to in order to achieve the purpose for the principle,Neither understatement,And can't make a mountain out of a molehill abuse"punishment".

　　专家提示 Expert clew

　　其实，在日常生活中我们都有这样一种经验，对绝大多数孩子来说，父母只需要用自己的言语或行动向孩子表示一点点哪怕是极其微小的不满，孩子都会觉得是对他的错误的惩罚，从而自觉改错。教育心理学认为，惩罚包括间接的和直接的批评。给孩子使个眼色、对他的行动加以限制、没收他的玩具等等都是惩罚的手段与方式。

In fact,In daily life we all have such an experience,For the vast majority of children speaking,Parents only need to use their words or actions to child said a little even if it is extremely small dissatisfaction,Children will think it is wrong to his punishment,Consciously and correct the mistakes.Education psychology think,Punishment including indirect and direct criticism.Give the child make a glances/To his action limits/Confiscate his toy and so on are all punishment and method.

　　学问2：指明“出路”不含糊 Learning 2:specified"way"unambiguous

　　惩罚孩子不能半途而废，应要求受罚的孩子作出具体的改错反应才能停止。

To punish the child cannot give up halfway,Children should be punished for a specific subjects reaction to stop.

　　家长要态度明确，跟孩子讲清楚他应该怎么做、达到什么要求或标准，否则有什么样的后果。如孩子有乱丢东西、不爱整理的习惯，家长在惩罚时就应该让他自己收拾好东西、整理好玩具。家长千万不能含糊其辞甚至让孩子“自己去想”。家长不给“出路”，孩子改错就没有目标，效果就不明显。

The parents should be clear attitude,Children with clear he should do/To achieve any requirements or standard,Or what kind of consequences.If your child has litter/Do not love the habit of finishing,Parents should be punished for his own good things up/Finishing good toys.Parents never waffles and even make the children"Yourself to want to".Parents don't give"way",The children correct their mistakes is no goal,The effect is not obvious.

　　专家提示 Expert clew

　　惩罚之所以能促使孩子改正错误，这是教育心理学中的效果律在起作用。效果律认为：孩子“快乐则接受；痛苦则拒绝”，要使孩子继续或终止某种行为，我们可以通过奖励或惩罚来做到这一点。事实上，有很多事情是不可能通过奖励的办法让孩子满足的，如孩子故意损坏东西、坚持“顶风作案”、乱提不切实际的要求等，这种情况下就必须惩罚。

Punishment can make children correct errors,This is the law of effect education psychology in action.Law of effect that:children"Is happy to accept;Pain refused to",To make the children to continue or terminate a certain behavior,We can through the reward or punishment to do this.In fact,There are many things that is not possible through the reward way to let the children meet,If your child intentionally destroy things/Adhere to the"Wind crime"/Disorderly mention unrealistic requirements, etc,This situation must be punished.

　　学问3：罚了又赏要不得 Learning 3:Punishment and reward wrong

　　父母教育孩子要相互配合，态度一致，赏罚分明。

Parents education children to cooperate with each other,attitude,Put the saddle on the right horse.

　　该奖时就要郑重其事甚至煞有介事地奖，让孩子真正体会到受奖的喜悦；该罚时也应态度明确、措施果断，让其真正知道自己错之所在。只有这样，才能培养孩子明辨是非、知错即改的品行。如果在对孩子实施惩罚之后，父母中的一方认为孩子受了委屈，随即又用钱物或食品来安慰他，这将会使惩罚失去作用。

The award will be seriously even seriously award,Let the children really experience the joy of recipients;The penalty should clear attitude/Resolute measures,Let it really know the oneself's wrong where.Only in this way,To cultivate children right from wrong/The importance is to conduct.If in the implementation of the children after the punishment,One of the parents think children wronged,Immediately and goods or food to comfort him,This will make punishment out of action.

　　专家提示 Expert clew

　　诚然，惩罚不是包治百病的灵丹妙药，而且还有一个使用方法的问题，正确使用可以以罚代教，如果使用不当，则会使孩子的坏习惯变本加厉。如有些儿童在感情冲动时会用坚持错误行为来报复惩罚。而惩罚的反复执行要么使孩子产生恐惧父母的神经官能症，要么使孩子破罐破摔，对惩罚“逆来顺受”无所谓，这都是不足取的。

admittedly,Punishment is not of cure-all panacea,There is also a method of use problem,The correct use of can teach a generation,If use undeserved,The child's bad habit be further intensified.If some children in the emotional impulse in the error behavior will use to get punished.And punish the repeated execution or make the child produce fear parents neurosis,Either make the child even more badly,To punish"Grin and bear it"Doesn't matter,All these are slim.

　　学问4：及时惩罚莫迟疑 Knowledge and:Don't hesitate to punish in time

　　现代教育理论认为，惩罚的效果部分是来自条件反射，而条件反射在有条件刺激和无条件刺激的间隔时间越短则效果越好。

The modern education theory is that,The effect of punishment part is from the conditioning,And conditioning in a conditioned stimulus and unconditioned stimulus interval time is shorter, the better the results.

　　所以家长一旦发现孩子的行为有错，只要情况许可就应立即予以相应的惩罚；如果当时的情境(如有客人在场或正在公共场所)不允许立即作出反应，事后则应及时地创造条件尽可能使孩子回到与原来相似的情境中去，家长和孩子一起回顾和总结当时的言行，使他意识到当时的错误行为，并明确要求他改正。

So parents once found the child's behavior is wrong,As long as the condition permission shall immediately be corresponding punishment;If the situation(If the guest is present or is a public place)Not allowed to respond immediately,The event should be timely to create conditions as far as possible make the child back to the original similar situation to,Parents and children to review and summarize the words and deeds,He realized that the wrong behavior,And clearly asked him to correct.

　　学问5：劣性转嫁不可有 Learning 5:The proportion of shifting shall have no

　　俗话说：“世事不如意者十常八九”，日常生活中我们总会遇到不顺心的事情。父母在心情不好时很难把握好自己的感情，容易使自己恶劣的情绪转嫁到孩子身上，其后果往往不堪设想。

As the saying goes:"The world is full of 10 times",In daily life we always had a thing.Parents are in a bad mood when it is difficult to grasp his feelings,Easy to make oneself bad mood to pass on to their children,The consequences are often is unimaginable.

　　一来孩子无过受罚，父母小题大做，会使孩子感到有失公理。二来如果此时父母再因不能自制而使惩罚无限制地升级，则往往会激化孩子对父母的反抗情绪。因此，建议父母切勿在醉酒之后或自己心情不佳、情绪低落、脾气暴躁等时候惩罚孩子，以免过激失态，影响自己在孩子心目中的形象和威信。

As a child not to be punished,Parents make a mountain out of a molehill,Will make the children feel beneath justice.Secondly if the parents more with incontinence and make the punishment unrestrainedly upgrade,Then often intensifies children to parents' against the mood.so,Parents do not suggest the drunk or in a bad mood/Depressed mood/Temper when children such as punishment,Lest ultra gaffe,Influence their children in the image and the prestige.

　　学问6：讽刺挖苦最忌讳 Knowledge and:Sarcasm is the most taboo

　　父母惩罚孩子应力戒讽刺挖苦，更不能自恃“孩子是我生的、是我养的”而随意用恶毒的语言指责谩骂孩子。

Parents punish children should strictly avoid sarcasm,More can't count on"The child is born of me/Is I have"And optional with malice language accused of child abuse.

　　实践证明，讽刺挖苦和恶语谩骂已超越了孩子的理智能够接受的范围，将会刺伤孩子的自尊心。因此，做父母的应该牢记自己惩罚孩子的目的是帮助孩子改正错误，决不是为了图一时嘴巴痛快而去刺激孩子心灵中最敏感的角落——自尊心。

Practice has proved,Sarcasm and viciously abuse has transcended the child's reason can accept range,Will be stuck in the child's self-esteem.so,Parents should keep their punishment children's purpose is to help children correct errors,Is by no means in order to map the mouth time and to stimulate the minds of children in the corner of the most sensitive - pride.

　　有些家长在惩罚孩子语言不文明、满口脏话时，自己也“出口成脏”，这就使得教训效果大打折扣，甚至失去说服力。

Some parents in punishing the children language not civilization/When dirty words,himself"Export into dirty",This makes teaching effect to sell at a discount greatly,Even lose persuasion.

　　学问7：事后说理不可无 Knowledge and:Do not be later argue

　　家长和孩子之间存在着教与被教的关系，但教育孩子仍当以理服人。惩罚只是手段而不是目的，因此，惩罚之后必须要及时与孩子说理，否则，孩子在忍受了惩罚之后还将会依然如故。所以，家长在罚了孩子以后要通过说理、剖析的方式使孩子明白他为什么会受罚、知道犯错误的原因，讲清楚如果坚持犯下去将有什么后果。因此，让孩子明白自己受罚的原因才是根除错误的关键，说理是惩罚孩子之后不可或缺的一个重要步骤。

Parents and children exist between the relationship between teaching and be taught,But education child still when convince people by reasoning.Punishment is only a means, not the aim,so,After the punishment must be promptly with children argue,otherwise,Children in bear the punishment after will remain as before.so,Parents in a child later through reason things out/The analysis of the way to make the child understand why he would be punished/Know the cause of the mistake,Speak clearly if you insist on making on what would be the consequences.so,Let the child understand oneself punished is the key reason for the error,Reasons things out the punishment after children an indispensable important steps.

　　学问8：点到为止莫唠叨 Knowledge and:Point don't nag

　　有些家长教训孩子喜欢没完没了，而且还时不时地喝问孩子“我的话你听见了没有？”孩子慑于家长的威严，为了免受皮肉之苦；只能别无选择地说“听见了”，其实他可能什么都没听进去或者根本就没听。

Some parents teach children like endless,But also HeWen children regularly"My words you heard no?"Children startled by the majesty of the parents,In order to from the flesh of bitterness;Can only have no choice but to say"heard",In fact he might what all didn't listen to go in or just didn't listen to.

　　孩子之所以说知道了，只是顺着家长的意思，为了早点结束训斥。于是，当孩子下次再犯同样的错误时，家长便感“痛心疾首”，随即说孩子“不把我的话当回事”，说孩子“不听话”。其实这并非孩子不听话，而是父母的唠叨太多了，让孩子分不清主次，不知道听哪一句为好；再者，经常性的唠叨多了，也会导致孩子耳朵“失聪”，使教训失去效果。因此，家长在教育孩子时务必要改掉爱唠叨的毛病，凡事点到为止，然后观察孩子的反应再采取适当的应对措施。

The reason that children know,But the meaning of the parents,In order to finish early reprimand.so,When a child again make the same mistake,Parents and are"saddened",Immediately say children"Don't take my words seriously",Said children"Not obedient".In fact, this is not the child not obedient,But parents nag too much,Let the child cart before the horse,Don't know which one to as well;moreover,The regular nagging,Also can cause the child to the ear"deaf",Make teaching lose effect.so,Parents in education child be sure to get rid of love nagging problem,All things point,Then observe the child's reaction to take appropriate measures.