妈妈要求孩子自己收拾书包，孩子还没动手，奶奶先代劳了；爸爸因为孩子不听话而“教训”他时，爷爷却在一旁准备“教训”爸爸……中国青少年研究中心关于“独二代”现象的调查显示，有超过2/3的“独二代”家庭，因孩子抚养问题而产生矛盾和冲突。

Mom asked him child to pick up bag,Haven't made a dent in children,Grandma to do first;Because the child not obedient, dad"lesson"When he,My grandpa is in preparation"lesson"Dad...About the China youth and children research center"Only the second generation"According to the survey,More than two-thirds of"Only the second generation"family,For child raising questions and contradictions and conflicts.

　　前不久，《时代商报》也通过调查问卷的形式对此进行了调查。在250份问卷中，有超过89%的受访者表示“已经历或正经历因为‘独二代’的抚养问题而引发的家庭战争”。

Not long ago,[Time business]Also through the form of questionnaire, the investigation.In the 250 questionnaires,More than 89% of the respondents said"Because have experienced or are experiencing‘Only the second generation’Parenting problems caused family war".

　　

靠经验？还是靠书本？ By empirical?Or a book?

　　

养育方法的“暗战” Raising method"Running out of time"

　　豆豆妈没有想到，原本还算和谐的婆媳关系会因为女儿的出生而变得紧张。

Doug mama didn't think of,Originally old woman daughter-in-law relation is harmonious will become nervous because of the daughter's birth.

　　两年前，豆豆在众人的期盼中平安诞生。虽然是个女孩，但爷爷奶奶依然对她非常宠爱，特别是奶奶，不顾劳苦地照顾着小豆豆。这让豆豆妈开始很是感动。

Two years ago,Doug in the hope of peace was born.Although is a girl,But grandma and grandpa still loved her so much,Especially my grandma,Regardless of the work to take care of the small doudou.Doug mama began are touched.

　　但随后问题来了。“还是在医院住院的时候，婆婆就大包大揽地表示，她非常有经验，照顾豆豆就包在她身上。结果呢，宝宝出生后医生给洗澡，婆婆就皱眉头；宝宝要穿纸尿裤，婆婆脸色就变了；我们阻止她给孩子绑腿，她理直气壮地说，晚上睡觉要给宝宝绑腿，否则以后宝宝的腿会弯，长不直。”

But then came the question."Was in the hospital,Her mother-in-law said will do,She is very experienced,Take care of doug package to her.As a result,The doctor to take a shower after birth,The mother-in-law will frown;The baby to wear diapers,Her mother-in-law's face changed;We stop her leggings to the child,She said confidently,You go to sleep at night to give the baby leggings,Otherwise after the baby's legs can bend,Long is not straight."

　　豆豆妈的理由也很充分，怀孩子的时候，我就买了很多育儿书，也经常上网在妈妈群里交流，大家都认为“绑腿”是一种不好的陋习，一方面影响孩子的舒适感，另一方面影响血液循环，对孩子身体发育也不好。

Doug mama reason also is very good,Conceive a child,I will buy a lot of books,Also often surf the Internet in the mother of communication,Everyone agrees that"leggings"Is a bad habit,On the one hand, affect a child's comfort,On the other hand affects the circulation of the blood,Body development is not good for children.

　　可是，固执的婆婆就是不听。于是，婆婆经常偷偷地给孩子把腿绑上，而豆豆妈只要发现就会偷偷解开，双方展开了一场“暗战”。

but,Stubborn mother-in-law wouldn't listen.so,The mother-in-law often secretly tied the legs to the child,While doug mama once found will secretly,Both sides had a"Running out of time".

　　也正是因为这件“小事”，豆豆妈和婆婆结下了矛盾，在以后的日子里，小到每顿该喂多少奶、什么时候添加辅食，该不该让孩子吃手，什么时候学步好，大到请育儿嫂、参加早教班，两代人的意见始终无法统一。

It was also because of this"Little things",Doug mother and mother-in-law forged a contradiction,In the later days,How much to feed milk every meal/When to add side dish,Should let the child to eat,When toddlers,Big to parenting sister-in-law, please/Take part in early education class,The opinions of the two generations is not unified.

　　中国青少年研究中心专家孙宏艳表示，在“独二代”的养育方面，“独一代”和父母之前有着完全不同的理解。从祖辈的角度来看，他们更看重于经验和传统习惯；而作为父母的“独一代”，更相信从书本或网络上学来的知识。“这样的矛盾，几乎在所有的‘隔代抚养’家庭都存在。”

The China youth and children research center expert Sun Hongyan said,In the"Only the second generation"Aspects of parenting,"One generation"And before their parents have totally different understanding.From the point of view of grandparents,They are more value on experience and traditional habits;And as a parent"One generation",More believe that knowledge from books or Internet to go to school."Such a contradiction,In almost all‘Every generation of raising’Family there are."

　　

是事事回避？还是开放教育？ Is to avoid?Or the open education?

　　

教育方式的PK Education way of PK

　　58岁的周仁最近十分困惑，“是自己的观念太陈旧了，还是儿子的教育方式过于开放了？”

Zhou Ren, 58, recently is very confused,"Is your own idea is old,Or my son's education way too open?"

　　前不久，正在幼儿园读中班的孙子松松突然问他：“爷爷，你知道我是从哪里来的吗？你知道我在妈妈肚子里多长时间吗？”

Not long ago,Is reading the middle shift kindergarten grandson easily suddenly asked him:"grandpa,Do you know where I come from?Do you know how long it will take me in my mother belly?"

　　他当时非常震惊，一个4岁的孩子怎么突然关心起这些问题。一问，才知道原来松松的这些知识都来自爸爸给他买的书《人体奥秘》。

He was very shocked,How does a four year old child care suddenly up these problems.ask,Just know originally loosely these knowledge from my father to buy him a book[The human body mystery].

　　于是，他赶紧把书没收了，还叮嘱“小孩子以后不要看这些东西，也不要问”。

so,He has to get it confiscated,Also told"The children not to look after them,Don't ask".

　　“你们的教育太开放了”，当天晚上，周仁把书拍在茶几上，非常生气地对儿子说，“我觉得大可以在青春期再看这些书。”

"Your education is too open",In the evening,Zhou Ren put the book on the table,Very angry said to his son,"I think can look at the books at puberty."

　　不过，松松爸爸却不以为然，解释说“孩子的好奇心重，就是要早点疏导和引导他，国外都是这样教育孩子的。”

but,Song song father is not,explains"The child's curiosity,Is to channel and guide him earlier,Education abroad are such children."

　　不管儿子怎么解释，周仁都难以接受他的观点，并甩了句狠话：“让我带孩子，就要接受我的方式，要不你们自己带吧。”

No matter what son,Zhou Ren are hard to accept his point of view,And dumped a malicious words:"Let me to take children,Will accept my way,Don't you bring your own."

　　结果，周仁和儿子接下来连续几天都相互赌气不说话。

As a result,Zhou Ren son and then decide not to talk each other for a few days.

　　21世纪教育研究院[微博]副院长、著名青少年教育专家熊丙奇[微博]认为，“独一代”思想开放，也较推崇国外的教育方法，而老一辈人则相对保守，“这其实是两代人自身观念的一种矛盾碰撞，只不过是突出表现在了对‘独二代’的抚养上。”

Vice President of the 21st century education research institute (microblogging)/Famous youth education xiong bingqi (microblogging),"One generation"An open mind,Also a respected abroad education methods,While the older generation is relatively conservative,"This is actually a contradiction collision two generations have their own ideas,Just highlight in the performance‘Only the second generation’On the rear of."

　　

是严格要求？还是处处迁就？ Is strict with?Or indulge everywhere?

　　

是非判断的较量 Struggle between right and wrong judgment

　　1月29日晚，吃过晚饭后，家住华新街东方家园的陈亮一家人出门散步。但是，谁也没想到，一家人开开心心的出门，却都带着一肚子气回家。

On January 29th night,After dinner,Who lives in huaxin street east home Chen Liang family go out for a walk.but,Who also have never thought,The family open happy heart to go out,But with a cubbyhole home.

　　“你这样带孩子，早晚要出问题的。”陈亮的妻子程欣抱怨着对婆婆说。

"You like to take children,To go wrong sooner or later."Cheng Xin Chen Liang wife complained about her mother-in-law said.

　　婆婆却毫不示弱地反击：“他这么小，不要要求那么多，大了自然就懂了。”

The mother-in-law did not afraid to fight back:"He was so small,Don't require that much,Big naturally understand."

　　原来，冲突的导火索是陈亮3岁的儿子博博。

The original,The outburst is Chen Liang 3 year old son bo bo.

　　在小区里，博博和另外一个小朋友玩耍的时候，因争夺东西而产生矛盾，双方发生了抓扯。结果，把孩子拉开之后，奶奶一个劲地说：“乖孙子，你使劲打他呀，打他的头，我们可不能吃亏。”程欣却十分反对这种观点，而是教育儿子：“以后遇到这种情况，可以先让其他小朋友玩一会，大家轮流玩，就是不能打架。”

In the neighbourhood,Bo bo and another kid play,Due to competition for things,Happened to catch pull on both sides.As a result,After the child away,Grandma said 1 vigorously:"Lovely grandson,You beat him hard,Hit his head,We can not afford to lose out."Cheng Xin is opposed to this view,But son education:"In this case in the future,Can let other children play for a while first,We take turns to play,Just can't fight."

　　婆媳之间的矛盾还不止这些。在回家的电梯里，博博由于调皮，一下子按了很多楼层。由于还有其他业主在乘坐电梯，耽误了大家不少的时间，程欣就责怪孩子：“这样做是错的，以后不能乱按电梯，要有公德心。”奶奶对此却又看不下去了：“孩子这么小，随便他吧，他只是觉得好玩而已。”

The contradiction between the old woman daughter-in-law is also more than that.In the elevator to go home,Bergkamp because naughty,According to a lot of floors.Because there are other owners in the elevator,Delay some time,Cheng Xin and blame the child:"To do so is wrong,Later can't disorderly press the elevator,Have the morality heart."Grandma but see not bottom go to:"Children so small,Let him,He just for fun."

　　程欣说，只要一教育孩子，婆婆总是以“孩子还小”为理由进行反对，这让我们非常担忧，毕竟孩子的各方面习惯和判断都是从小养成的，“再这样下去，我们只有不让婆婆继续带孩子了。”

Cheng Xin said,As long as a education of children,Mother is always in"Children are young"As a reason for objection,It let us very worried,After all children all aspects of habit and judgments are formed in the childhood,"Continue like this,We only don't let the mother-in-law to take children."

　　

昂贵的早教该不该上？ Expensive should early on?

　　

消费观念的比拼 Consumption idea contest

　　1月26日上午，位于龙湖花园的一家早教机构门口，27岁的郭倩与抱着孩子的婆婆张英莲发生了争执，谁也说服不了谁。

On January 26th morning,Early education institutions in longhu garden by a door,27-year-old Guo Qian mother-in-law Zhang Yinglian her child in her arms she had an argument,Who can persuade.

　　“半年的课程，要7000多块钱，太贵了。况且，孩子还不到两岁，能学到什么呀，完全是浪费。我不同意。”张英莲说。

"Half a year's course,More than 7000 dollars,It costs too much.Besides,,Children are less than two years old,To learn what ah,Completely is a waste of.I don't agree with."Zhang Yinglian said.

　　“你不懂，现在社会竞争压力这么大，人家的孩子都来学，我们不学的话以后就落伍了。再多的钱，花到孩子身上都值得。”郭倩说。

"You don't understand,Now social competition pressure is so big,The somebody else's children are to learn,If we don't learn then I behind The Times.No amount of money,Flowers to their kids would be worth it."Guo Qian said.

　　“这样的事情太多了，每个周末，都有因为要不要报名而争吵的家长[微博]。”早教机构隔壁小卖部的老板对记者说。

"Such a thing too much,Every weekend,Have quarreled don't because want to sign up to the parents (microblogging)."Early education institutions next to a store boss, told reporters.

　　记者在早教机构门口随机采访了几位正在等候孩子的家长们，发现了一个十分有趣的现象。

Reporter interviewed several randomly at the gate of the early education institutions are waiting for the child's parents,Found a very interesting phenomenon.

　　祖辈家长在谈到早教时，大致有两个相同的观点：“太贵”和“浪费”，他们普遍认为，昂贵的早教不能给孩子带来什么帮助，还不如自己在家进行教育。而作为父母的“独一代”家长们则认为：再贵也要消费，不能让孩子输在起跑线上。

The parents grandparents when it comes to early education,Roughly there are two same points of view:"Too expensive"and"A waste of",They generally believe that,Expensive early education can't give children bring what help,Education is worse than at home.And as a parent"One generation"Parents think:You also want to consumption again,Can't let children lose on the starting line.

　　负责早教报名的陈女士也透露，“80后”父母比较热衷于给孩子报早教班，而对于价格，他们也不太计较，而且有人认为“便宜没好货、好货不便宜”，在孩子教育问题上要舍得投入。相对而言，对于这样的做法，老年人都比较反对，但也没办法阻止。

Responsible for the early education for ms. Chen also revealed,"After 80"Parents are keen to give their children to early education class,And for the price,They also don't too dispute,And some people think that"Cheap goods is not good/Good isn't cheap",Should be willing to part with or use investment in children education problem.In relative terms,For such practices,Old people are against it,But didn't also the way to stop.