父亲开明但怕得罪老师，沟通之后老师称受益很多

Father enlightened but fear of offending the teacher,Communication after the teacher said to benefit a lot

　　儿子却说，快期中考试了得抓紧复习，这事过去啦！

The son said,Fast get to review the mid-term exam,This matter in the past!!

“早恋父母”这样开明教子 "Puppy love their parents"A liberal godson

　　卢先生说，他和妻子就算是标准的早恋。“初中同班同学，从初二时就开始相互喜欢。”这份情感被双方化作上进的动力。

Mr Roh said,He and his wife, even the standard of puppy love."Junior high school classmates,From the second day when begin to like each other."By both into the affection of power.

　　但直到考上大学之后，他才给对方写信。“我问她，我选择理工科，希望将来能做一名工程师，你感觉怎样？”就是这样含蓄的表达，妻子从中读到了“定终身”的信号。

But it wasn't until after college,He didn't write to each other."I asked her,I chose science and engineering,Hope can do an engineer in the future,How do you feel?"Is such implicit expression,His wife to read from it"temporary"Of the signal.

　　他们的儿子卢栋是听着这故事长大的。从上幼儿园起，孩子就会跟父母说，他喜欢上哪个女生了，过一阵子会喜欢别人，又或者人家不喜欢他了就难过。对这一切，父母只是听着，并无太多干涉。“只是在这过程里引导孩子学会欣赏别人，也欣赏自己。”这样一路走来，孩子心态也很好，并没发生任何像别家父母担心的那些事情。“他和女孩子的接触，顶多也就是一块写作业，或好几个同学一道参加活动之类。”

Their son Lu Dong grew up listening to the story.Since kindergarten,Child will tell parents,He fell in love with which girl,Would like to be after a while,Or somebody else's sad don't like him.All of this,Just listen to the parents,Not too much interference."Only in this guide children learn to appreciate others in the process,Also appreciate yourself."This along the way,Child psychology is also very good,Wasn't anything like other parents worry about those things."He and the girl's contacts,At most is a piece of homework,Or several students together to participate in the activities."

　　也正因此，当刚读初一的儿子又提到自己喜欢班上一个女生时，他们也视为平常。在做父亲的看来，儿子这种情感和幼时虽有不同，但还不是多么成熟的爱情。“少年情怀吧，也值得尊重。我更关心的，是让儿子借此更好地完善自己。”

Is also so,When just read the first son also mentioned that he liked a girl in the class,They are also regarded as usual.It seems to do the father,This despite the difference in emotional and young son,But it's not what a mature love."Juvenile feelings!,Also worthy of respect.I care more about,Is let the son to better improve themselves."

情书让班主任找家长谈话 Love letter to the teacher in charge to find parents talk

　　至少，看到一向不修边幅的臭小子突然改变了形象，卢先生和妻子就很开心。“以前鞋子臭得不成样子也不知道换，现在好了，不要你催，他比你还爱干净。”当然，儿子给女同学写情书一事，他们并不知情。在不久前的一个周末，儿子还邀请了包括那位女生在内的几个同学来家里，卢先生亲自下厨做了几样菜，深受好评。

At least,See always unkempt smelly boy suddenly changed the image,Mr Roh and his wife is very happy."Used to not like shoes smelly and I don't know,Ok now,Don't want you to rush,He also love clean than you."Of course,,Son give female classmate write love letter,They didn't know.On a recent weekend,Son also invited several students, including the girls to come to the house,Mr Roh cook a few dishes made in person,Are welcome.

　　4月18日下午，儿子班主任打电话给卢先生，把他急召到学校。老师面色凝重：“你家儿子是个好苗子，这下坏了！”原来，儿子写的“情书”小女生放在书包里，被同学翻出来传看，给班主任逮了个正着。老师说了半天，就是让卢先生赶紧掐灭儿子早恋的苗头，让孩子收心学习。同时，也建议父母多给孩子一些关爱，免得他想这些“花花心思”。

On April 18, in the afternoon,The teacher in charge to call Mr Roh son,His urgent call to the school.The teacher looked dignified:"Your son is a good prospect,This is bad!"The original,The son wrote"A love letter"Little girl's in the bag,Has been turned out,To the teacher in charge caught red-handed.The teacher say a half a day,Is to let Mr Roh son hurriedly put out to early love,Let children accepting heart study.At the same time,Also suggested that parents give children more love,So he want to these"Flower flower heart".

　　卢先生没太好直接回应，当晚回家，儿子也是垂头丧气。原来，他被作为反面典型批评了，且对老师有不满。

Mr Roh didn't too good respond directly,The evening to go home,Son is also down in the dumps.The original,He was as a typical criticized the opposite,And the teacher have dissatisfaction.

　　“孩子说老师太古板教条，我喜欢女生有错吗？我又没有影响学习，也没做什么坏事！”儿子诉苦之后又向父亲求助，“老爸，你帮我去跟老师说说吧，她那脑袋，真的需要你去吹点春风。不然，我怕我以后有得受了……”这让做父亲的左右为难。

"The boy said the teacher is too rigid dogma,I like the girl is wrong?I don't affect learning,Didn't do what bad matter!"Son after complaining to father for help,"dad,You help me to tell the teacher about it,Her head,Really need you to point the spring breeze blowing.otherwise,I'm afraid I later you by..."This let do father's dilemma.

为难父亲求助“家长学堂” Between his father for help"Parents to school"

　　从那天起，孩子情绪日益低落，原来老师在学校已经开始盯着不许他与那个女生有交流。同时，老师打电话叮嘱卢先生可千万要看紧了：“一失足成千古恨啊！”

From that day on,Children increasingly depressed,Originally the teacher in the school has started to stare at that he has to communicate with that girl.At the same time,The teacher make a phone call told Mr Roh don to tighten:"Short pleasure, long lament ah!"

　　犹豫几天，卢先生求助到金陵晚报“家长学堂”来。“从内心来说，我觉得老师对这事太紧张了，这样严防死守反而容易出事。可她是老师，我也怕处理不好，将来儿子面临难题更多。叫我去看着儿子吧，他又没做什么事。”作为一个开明的父亲，他真犯愁了。

Hesitate for a few days,Mr Roh for help to the jinling evening news"Parents to school"to."From the inside,I think the teacher was so nervous on this matter,So instead of digging in accident prone.But she is a teacher,I also afraid of processes is not good,Son face problems more in the future.Call me to looking at her son,He didn't do what matter."As a liberal father,He really worry anymore.

　　金陵晚报“家长学堂”公益辅导老师、南京金尊心理咨询中心主任杨晓红接待了卢先生。杨晓红首先建议卢先生换位思考，去理解老师的焦虑紧张。同时，也鼓励他真诚积极地去和老师沟通，介绍自己的处理方式并如实表达观点。而儿子那边，同样也需要去看到老师隐藏在担心背后的积极关注。“一个老师要面对很多学生，学习必然是第一位的。并非所有家长都能在孩子恋爱一事上给予恰当引导，老师的担心也很正常。如何处理好情感表达，不影响到他人，也保护好自己，这也是儿子面临的新课题。”

Jinling evening news"Parents to school"Community tutors/Nanjing golden Buddha greeted Mr Roh yan xiaohong, director of the counseling center.Mynatt first suggested Mr Roh the perspective-taking,To understand the teacher's anxiety.At the same time,He sincerely actively also encouraged to communicate with the teacher,Own way of processing and expressing opinions according to the facts.The son is over there,Also need to see the teacher the hidden worry of positive attention."A teacher will face a lot of students,Learning must be first.Not all parents can give appropriate guidance on children's love,The teacher worry also is very normal.How to deal with emotions,Don't affect the others,Also protect yourself,This is a new task faced by the son."

　　找老师坦诚沟通，会不会得罪老师？卢先生的顾虑，杨晓红表示理解。“老师和家长都是为孩子成长着想的。大家基于这一点去探讨，没有谁是必然的权威。如果你因为怕得罪老师而违心管教儿子，非但你和儿子吃亏，老师也没有机会在这件事情上去完善她自己了。”

Looking for a teacher to open communication,Will have sinned against the teacher?Mr Roh's concerns,Yan xiaohong said understanding."Teachers and parents for children to grow up.Based on this point to discuss,No one is certain authority.If you for fear of offending the teacher against discipline his son,Not only you and son cheated,Teacher also does not have opportunities to improve herself in this matter."