浙江在线08月28日讯暑假只剩不到一周的尾巴，家长们忙着给自家孩子“收骨头”，老师们忙着为新学期做准备。

Zhejiang online October 28 - summer only less than a week's tail，Parents are busy to their children“Accept bones”，Teachers are busy preparing for the new term。

　　不少新一届小学一年级的班主任老师，在暑假的家访中发现，80后家长群体已经初具规模，占总的新生家长的三至五成。

A lot of the new primary school grade teacher in charge teacher，In summer in the family visit found，After 80 parents group has begun to take shape，The new parents of three to fifty percent。

　　这些80后家长，由于成长环境等各方面原因，在对待孩子的教育问题上，与70后、60后家长有哪些不同的教育理念？他们又有哪些新的焦虑和纠结？我们通过一年级老师的家访，一探究竟。

These 80 parents，Due to the growth environment and so on various aspects reasons，In treating the child's education problem，And after 70、After 60 parents what different education concept？They also have what new anxiety and ravel？We through the first grade teacher family visit，descend。

　　

家有二胎，如何处理“大宝”和“小宝”的关系 Home has two foetuses，How to deal with“dabao”and“Small treasure”relationship

　　天长小学的丁琳老师，9月份带一年级。暑假里家访一圈后，她发现，班里36个同学，80后的年轻家长占了一半左右，而这其中，近半家庭有二胎。

Last DingLin elementary school teacher，September with a grade。In the summer after the family visit a circle，She found，36 students in the class，After 80 the young parents accounted for about half，And this among them，Nearly half family has two foetuses。

　　有二胎的家庭，基本上是大的孩子到了入学年龄，小的有些在读幼儿园，有些还是抱在手上的小宝宝。

There are two fetal family，Basically is big the children at school age，Small some reading kindergarten，Some still have in the hands of the baby。

　　“很明显感觉家长在教育上的负担比较重。一方面，为大孩子入学焦虑，另一方面，小的孩子需要照顾，精力分配不过来。”丁老师注意到，去家访有二胎的家庭，家长通常也会向老师介绍小的孩子，而这个时候，大的那个孩子会特别活跃。

“Obviously feel parents in education burden is heavy。On the one hand，For older children entrance anxiety，On the other hand，Small children need to take care of，Energy distribution don't come over。”Butyl teacher noticed，Family visit two fetal family，Parents often ask the teacher introduce the little children，But this time，Big the child will be particularly active。

　　“不管男孩还是女孩，老师过去家访，他们的表现欲望特别强烈，你会感觉他们想要表现出自己最好的一面。很多爸妈会跟我说，孩子今天怎么那么反常？”这些孩子，有些还会主动抱抱老师，很渴望得到别人的关注。

“No matter boy or girl，The teacher family visit the past，Their performance desire particularly strong，You will feel they want to present yourself as best as you can。Many parents will say with me，Children today how so abnormal？”These children，Some will also active baby come to the teacher，Very eager to get other people's attention。

　　“两个孩子的年龄差距在3-6岁左右，小的喜欢模仿大的，喜欢和大的玩，但大的却不太愿意和小的玩。小的孩子刚生出来，需要各种照顾，得到的关注肯定会多。但对大孩子来说，家里突然多了一个人，对他的关注突然少了，会对小的有敌意。”在聊天中，丁老师发现，很多家长意识到大孩子的这种变化，也会注意培养大孩子和小孩子之间好的沟通方式，在两个孩子起争执的时候，基本上秉承“大的谦让小的”这个观念。比如会说，你是哥哥，要让让弟弟。

“Two children age gap in 3 to 6 years old，Small like to imitate big，Like and play，But big but not too would like to with small play。The small child was just born，Need all kinds of care，Get attention must be more。But for older children speaking，Home suddenly many a person，To his attention suddenly less，For small hostile。”In a chat in，Butyl the teacher found that，A lot of parents realize that this kind of change of older children，Will also pay attention to cultivate older children and children between good communication mode，In the two children on the dispute，Basically adhering to the“Great gentleness be small”The idea。For instance will say，You are my brother，Let let brother。

　　但这种教育，只停留在一种口号上，家长对孩子实际上的可指导性可操作性的东西非常少。家长慢慢发现，这些“让让弟弟”的语言很苍白。事实上，很多80后家长自己也是独生子女，他们要养育的却是兄弟姐妹，这对没有兄弟姐妹交往经验的这一代人来说，是个很大的挑战。

But this kind of education，Only stay in a slogan，Parents of children in fact can be guidance operability things very little。Parents slowly found，these“Let let brother”Language very pale。In fact，A lot of 80 parents himself is the only children，They want to foster are brothers and sisters，The no brothers and sisters contact experience for this generation，Is a big challenge。

　　“尤其碰到大的孩子要入学，家长会更焦虑。”丁老师说，家长问得最多的，是小学生活如何适应、成绩能不能跟上、学习习惯要怎么养成、家长如何督促等。丁老师说，除了这些明显看得到的东西，其实一些隐性的东西，比如孩子之间的情感交流、家庭情感的平衡，更为重要。

“Especially encounter big children to school，Parents more anxious。”Butyl teacher said，Parents ask at most，Is how to adapt to the primary school life、Results can keep up with、Learning how to form a habit、Parents how to supervise, etc.。Butyl teacher said，In addition to these obviously see things，In fact some hidden things，Such as the emotional exchange between the children、The family emotional balance，Is more important。

　　“新入学的孩子，很渴望被关注，受到鼓励。让孩子处在一个比较稳定、愉快的状态，才能让孩子发挥最好的水平。这时候家长就要注意平衡。另外，以前的家庭，有好几个小孩是很正常的，大的很自然就会照顾小的。家长要让孩子觉得弟弟妹妹是他的一部分，平时就要让他们有正常的交流，并承担一部分的责任，比如玩玩游戏、讲讲小故事，做一些力所能及的事，这本身就是教育很好的延伸，而且是对孩子责任感的培养。”丁老师建议。

“The new entrance children，Very eager to be attention，encouraged。Let the child in a relatively stable、Pleasant state，Can let the child play the best level。Parents should pay attention to balance at this time。In addition，Previous family，There are several children is very normal，Big very natural will take care of small。Parents must let children feel younger brother younger sister is part of his，At ordinary times will let them have normal communication，And bear part of the responsibility，Such as playing games、About small story，Do some thing you can reach，This in itself is education very good extension，And it is to the child the cultivation of the sense of responsibility。”Butyl the teacher suggested that。

　　

还没上学，孩子为何就说不喜欢老师 Haven't to go to school，Why do children say don't like a teacher

　　“80后家长很重视孩子的教育，他们的学历普遍比较高，面对教育的新事物、新观念，他们会很积极主动接受。”在暑期家访中，崇文实验学校的吴钰君老师很有感触。

“After 80 parents attach great importance to the child's education，Their common higher education，In the face of the education of new things、New ideas，They will be very active accept。”In summer in the family visit，Chongwen experimental school WuYuJun teachers are feeling。

　　时代小学的徐雅娣老师也发现，家访中，很多家长看了不少教育类书籍，比如《好妈妈胜过好老师》、《拯救男孩》、《第56号教室的奇迹》等等。“教育方面的理论，可以聊上很久。”

Age XuYaDi elementary school teacher also found，Family visit in，A lot of parents to see many education books，For example《A good mother is better than a good teacher》、《Save the boy》、《56 the miracle of room》, etc。“Education aspects of the theory，Can talk for a long time。”

　　但同时，老师们也发现，面对孩子的教育问题，家长的大方向是对的，理念也知道，但对具体内涵的深入就不够了解，遇到具体的事情，会比较急躁，具体问题如何处理，有时候会茫然无措，有时候会忽略方式方法。但教育，往往是要落到最细微处。

But at the same time，Teachers also found，With their children's education problem，Parents way is right，Concept also know，But for the specific connotation deeply will not be understand，Meet the specific things，Are impatient，Specific problem how to deal with，Sometimes will be all at sea，Sometimes ignore methods。But education，Often the most fine point is to fall。

　　吴钰君老师就碰到过这样一个女孩，见了面，孩子一脸不高兴，说不要上学、不喜欢老师。细问之下，发现原来是家长对孩子新入学特别重视，经常提醒“读小学了，你要学很多，还要考试”、“要是不乖，老师会批评你”。“家长希望孩子重视在小学的学习，但传达给孩子的却不是积极、正面的形象。”

WuYuJun teacher met such a girl，met，The child looked unhappy，Said don't go to school、Don't like the teacher。Under found out from them the exact time，It is found that the parents to the child the new entrance pay special attention to，Often remind“Primary school the，You want to learn a lot of，Have an exam”、“If not good，The teacher will criticize you”。“Parents hope children pay attention to in elementary school learning，But across to the child's but not positive、Positive image。”

　　天长小学的丁琳老师碰到这样一件事情。“一位家长说，我对孩子的要求一点都不高，我只有两个要求。大致上就是，你能力之外的不要求你做，能力之内的，你就要做到最好。”

Last DingLin elementary school teacher met such a thing。“A guardian said，I to the child's request is not high，I only have two requirements。Generally is，You can not ask you to do outside，Ability within，You will do the best。”

　　但丁老师发现，这位家长说的两个要求，实际上都是孩子做不到的两点，是针对他的弱点提出来的。

Dante the teacher found that，The parents say two requirements，In fact are two children can't do，Is aimed at his weakness brought out。

　　“这种情况并不少见。家长比较急躁，跟现在整体的社会节奏快、竞争激烈、压力大也有关系。”丁老师发现，有些年轻家长会根据自己的经历推测小孩的能力，比如有些家长会拿自己成功的一面对比孩子不成功的一面，“就有家长说，我小时候动作很快的，哪像他慢吞吞。家长会结合自己的成长经验，觉得我行的，他也行。实际上每个人的个性差异很大，成长环境也不同。孩子的成长是螺旋上升的，不像百米赛跑笔直往前冲，有进有退很正常。”

“The story is not rare。Parents compare impatience，Now the whole society with fast rhythm、competitive、Pressure big also has relationship。”Butyl the teacher found that，Some young parents based on her own experience that the ability of children，For example, some parents take their success a contrast children don't succeed side，“Have parents say，When I was a child I action soon，As he slowly which。Parents' meeting in conjunction with their growth experience，Think me to，He also did。In fact each person's individual character difference is very big，Growth environment is also different。A child's growth is the spiral，Don't like the - meter race straight skelter，Have into a back is very normal。”

　　

越来越多家长，计划让孩子日后出国 More and more parents，Plans to let children to go abroad in the future

　　三位老师都在家访中发现，80后的家长，现在说得最多的是“希望孩子能快乐”，他们更关注孩子对学习是不是有兴趣，是不是快乐，对孩子成绩的要求没有那么苛刻了。

Three teachers are found in the family visit，After 80 the parents，Now say most is“Hope children can be happy”，They are more concerned about children to study isn't interested in，Happy is，For the requirements of the child achievement not so hard。

　　“很多家长会担心孩子上小学学习压力会很大，同学之间的竞争会激烈。他们希望老师站在孩子的角度，成为孩子的朋友。很多家长明确表示，孩子的快乐是第一位的。”时代小学的徐雅娣老师表示。

“A lot of parents worry about the children in elementary school learning pressure will be very big，The competition among classmates will be fierce。They hope the teacher stood in the children's point of view，Become a children's friends。Many parents made clear，The child's happiness is the first。”Age XuYaDi elementary school teacher said。

　　“有妈妈说，我的女儿不是为了学习出生的，希望她有个快乐的童年。也有爸爸明确表示，他希望孩子的学习压力不要太大，底线是不要留级就可以。不像以前的家长那么看重成绩了，只要对学科有兴趣，成绩在中等，都无所谓。不会那么看重那一分两分了。”崇文实验学校的吴钰君老师很有感触。

“A mother said，My daughter is not in order to learn the birth，Hope she has a happy childhood。Also have father made clear，He wants the child's learning pressure does not want too big，The bottom line is not to repeat a year can。Unlike previous parents so value result，As long as about subject are interested in，Result in medium，It doesn't matter。Not so value that a point the two points。”Chongwen experimental school WuYuJun teachers are feeling。

　　“以前家访，很多家长会说，老师，你一定要严格要求小孩，一定要严格。但现在经常说的是，希望孩子有快乐的生活。”天长小学的丁琳老师说。

“The family visit before，Many parents say，The teacher，You must be strict request the child，Must strictly。But now often said，Wish your child to have a happy life。”Last DingLin elementary school teacher said。

　　对孩子成绩的要求退居“快乐”之后，和很多家长对孩子有另一种教育规划不无关系。

For the requirements of the child achievement retire“happy”after，And a lot of parents to children have another kind of education planning was related。

　　吴钰君老师就发现，表示孩子以后有出国计划的家长，近几年越来越多。避开中考、高考的压力，让家长在面对孩子的“快乐童年”，有了底气。

The teacher found that WuYuJun，Said child later have parents plan to go abroad，In recent years more and more。Avoid tests、The university entrance exam pressure，Let the parents in the face of the child“Happy childhood”，Is in confident mood。

　　但更多的家长，纠结在“快乐”与现在所谓的“成功”、“优秀”之间。

But more parents，Entanglements in“happy”And now the so-called“success”、“excellent”between。

　　“你会觉得这些家长更矛盾。给孩子的压力，很多时候是无形的。家长自己的成功体验和失败体验，来自社会竞争的压力，会让家长一方面担心孩子不快乐，一方面担心孩子不够优秀，找不到一个平衡点。”丁琳老师分析。

“You will feel these parents more contradictions。Give the child's pressure，Most of the time is invisible。Parents own successful experience and experience of failure，From the social competition pressure，Will let the parents worried about kids not happy，On the one hand worry about the children is not good，Can't find a balance point。”DingLin teacher analysis。

　　

80后家长，遇事喜欢和老师商量 After 80 parents，When anything crops up like and teachers to consult

　　很多80后家长是独生子女，在孩子的教育问题上，会发现很多人缺少教育伙伴。

After a lot of 80 only-child parents，In the child's education problem，Will find many people lack of education partners。

　　“比如有家长喜欢和孩子幼儿园同学的家长沟通。如果他们是这样的，我的孩子也是这样，放心了，说明我的孩子不是怪胎。但如果他们是这样的，我的小孩不是这样的，那就马上急了，怎么办呢？”家访中，丁琳老师发现，缺少教育伙伴，没有商量对象，对年轻的80后父母来说，是个很大的问题，这些家长遇到问题，往往会迷失。

“For example, there are parents like children and parents of kindergarten students communication。If they are such，My child is also so，relieved，Illustrate my child is not a freak。But if they are such，My child is not such，As soon as the nasty，How to do？”Family visit in，DingLin the teacher found that，Lack of education partners，No discuss object，The young parents, after 80，Is a big problem，These parents encounter problems，Often get lost。

　　因为没有商量的对象，在孩子的教育上，怕严了太累，松了，又成不了才，把握不了尺度。

Because there is no some object，In the child's education on，Afraid of not too tired，loose，And can't do something，Grasp the scale。

　　“他们老问我，我这样管行不行，会不会对他太严格啊？但我从来不提倡孩子横向比较。好比一个碗一个盆，没有可比性。别人的情况，听过就算，千万不要引发你焦虑的情绪。如果发现自己有焦虑情绪，就一定要和老师及时沟通。父母老师，可以说是最了解孩子的几个人，家长和老师是最好的教育伙伴。”丁老师建议。

“They keep on asking me，I so pipe line not line，Will not be too strict ah？But I never advocate children transverse comparison。Like a bowl of a basin，No comparability。The circumstance of others，Heard even if，Don't cause you anxiety emotions。If you find yourself have anxiety，Have to communicate with the teacher。Parents, teachers,，Can be said to be the most about children's several people，Parents and teachers are the best education partners。”Butyl the teacher suggested that。