近日，北京大学未名BBS的匿名板块上发出一个帖子，题为“你们的父母也这么想吗”，内容大致为“北大毕业生未能当上省长，其父觉得很丢脸”。这个帖子引发北大学生和广大网友的热议。很多人表示“原来北大人也压力比山大啊”！他们在发言中流露出既不喜欢父母为他们设计人生，又担心辜负父母的矛盾心情。

recently，Beijing university WeiMing BBS anonymous plate out on a post，titled“Your parents think so”，Content roughly“Peking University graduates not as governor，His father felt very embarrassed”。This post cause students of pku and the vast number of users to hot debate。A lot of people said“Originally north and pressure ratio of shandong ah”！They speak in midstream shows not only don't like their parents, as their design life，And live up to what his parents worry about the contradiction between the mood。

　　在我国的传统文化中，长期以来，读书的价值取向即是为了升官发财，诸如“书中自有黄金屋，书中自有颜如玉”，又或者“朝为田舍郎，暮登天子堂”，这些观念在中国老百姓心目中依然根深蒂固。对于北大、清华这些名校，绝大部分中国老百姓多少会有一种情结，因为这是中国最知名的高校，相应期望值也就更高。尤其一些农村的家长，更是从孩子上学之初就背负沉重的经济负担，甚至是在一家人的无私帮助下，才艰难地送孩子上完大学，其投入之大期望值之高可想而知。他们一开始就带着想象的光环，潜意识里认为孩子将来肯定能够出人头地，高人一等。因为这些原因，才导致了新闻报道中北大毕业生的窘境。

In the traditional culture of our country，For a long time，The value orientation of reading is in order to promoting to a higher position，Such as“The book has the gold room，The book has YanRuYu”，or“For countryside toward lang，'s hall of the sunset”，These concepts in the Chinese people's mind is still deeply rooted。For the north、The school of tsinghua，Most of the Chinese people can have a kind of complex，Because this is China's most famous universities，The corresponding expectation is also higher。Especially some rural parents，More children to school from the beginning of the bear heavy economic burden，Even with the family's selfless help，Just struggling to send children through college，Its input big expectations high cans be imagined。They start off with imagine aura，The subconscious mind to think children are the future would be able to come to the front，superior。For these reasons，That caused the news reports to the situation of Peking University graduate。

　　看到这样一则新闻，笔者也感同身受。我刚从北京一所著名大学博士毕业，毕业后留在北京一家研究单位。入职后，单位的工作量非常大，以至于经常加班，甚至双休日也都利用上了。加上笔者一时未能迅速实现从学生到专职研究者身份的转换，在给家人的电话中，无意间可能透出一丝疲惫的身心状态，父亲一下子就觉得不可理解。在他的期望中，孩子名校博士毕业，应该有一个体面轻松的工作岗位。他的困惑或许更在于：为什么这么高的学历，还是这样忙？

See a piece of news，The author also empathy。I just arrived from Beijing university graduated from a famous doctor，After the graduation stay at a Beijing research unit。Induction after，Unit workload is very large，That often work overtime，Even double cease day also use the。Combined with the author failed to realize a rapid from a student to full-time researchers status transformation，The family's phone，Inadvertently may give a little tired state of mind，Father suddenly feel do not understand。In his expectations，The children graduated from famous doctor，Should have a decent relaxed jobs。His confusion is perhaps more：Why such a high degree，Is so busy？

　　因为之前有过基层工作的经验，我从开始找工作就坚持一种心态：不要问单位给你什么，更多是你能为单位做些什么？正式入职后，也乐于吃苦，勤奋工作。虽然面对新的工作，有个适应过程，但一段时间后，心态调适得也还不错。总体看来，不能因为是大学生，或者高学历，就眼高手低，忽视一些基础性的日常工作。从人才成长的角度来看，真正的历练，应该都是从基层点滴做起的。

Because previous grass-roots work experience，I'm from started looking for work will adhere to a state of mind：Don't ask unit to you，More is that you can do some unit？Formal appointment after，Also willing to bear hardships，Hard work。Although faced with the new job，There is a adaptive process，But after a time，Attitude adjustment also not bad。overall，Cannot because are college students，Or highly educated，Just above，Ignore some basic daily work。From the point of view of talented person growth，The real experience，Should from the grassroots litter drop。

　　父母对于孩子的高预期，其实和他们的时代局限有很大关系，他们难以理解当前社会发展的迅速和人才竞争的激烈程度。在他们看来，孩子大学毕业后，应该坐在宽敞的办公室里，做着非常轻松、而待遇不错的工作。这或许是他们送孩子上学最简单的初衷和动力。可是，等孩子上完大学之后，由于各种原因，有些一时未能找到合适的岗位，有些即便工作了，可能依然做着非常辛苦的工作。这多少让他们的心态失衡。这些是可以理解的。但是，父母的这种心理并不能改变社会的规则，也丝毫无益于孩子的工作。

The parents to the child's high expectations，In fact and their time limited have very big concern，They is difficult to understand the current social development quickly and talent competition intense degree。In their eyes，The child after graduation from the university，Should sit on the spacious office，Doing a very relaxed、And treatment good job。This is perhaps they send their children to school the most simple purpose and motivation。but，When the child is finished after university，For various reasons，Some failed to find a suitable position，Some even work，May still doing a very hard work。How much this let their unbalance。These are understandable。but，Parents of this kind of psychological and can not change the rules of society，Also a bit conducive to children's work。

　　通常情况，多大的教育投入，就会有多大的收益。然而，在现实的情况下，投入和收益虽然总体上有关系，但是并不一定直接或者短期就能反映出来。因此，作为刚毕业的大学生，要理解父母的期望和心态，对他们做一些必要的解释。而作为父母，应该对社会的发展态势有个正确的认识，进而对孩子的就业有个合理的期望，并应清醒地认识到工作中的磨练，是孩子适应社会真正成才成人的必经之路。( 作者单位：中国教育科学研究院高等教育研究中心)

often，How much education investment，There will be much income。however，In the real cases，Investment and income although generally have relations，But it's not always directly or short-term can be reflected。therefore，As a fresh graduate students，To understand the parents' expectations and mentality，For they do some necessary to explain。And as parents，Should be to the development of the society situation have a correct understanding，Then the children of employment have a reasonable expectations，And should clearly understand that work in anneal，Is the child adapt to society really become the way to adult。( The author unit：China's education science research institute of higher education research center)