父母与子女沟通难，一直是家庭教育中备受关注的话题。日前，上海市心理咨询中心对1500名学生进行的专项调查给出答案61%的受访学生感到无法与父母交流和沟通。对于成长过程中遇到的困惑、烦恼等问题，31%的学生认为难以与父母交谈，37%的学生表示从不与父母交谈。以青春期教育为主要内容的知识，只有15%的初中生和4%的高中生是从父母的教育中得到的。

Parents and children to communication,Family education has been the subject of concern.a,Shanghai psychological counseling center of 1500 students in special survey gives the answer 61% of students feel unable to communicate with their parents.For the growth in the course of confusion/Trouble problems,31% of the students think are difficult to talk with my parents,37% of the students said never talk with their parents.Adolescent education as the main contents of the knowledge,Only 15% of the junior high school students and 4% of high school students from the parents' education get.

　　反映当下父母与子女沟通难现状的调查并不止于此。中国青年报社会调查中心在2010年进行的调查也显示，在人生遇到重大问题会向谁求助这一问题上，63.3%的人首选同龄朋友，其次才是父母(46.2%)。中国国际家庭教育论坛组委会与天津《今晚报》主办的“孩子，说说你的烦恼事”征文活动也显示，“父母高高在上无法沟通”、“父母不了解自己的烦恼”，在孩子所有的烦恼中排在前列。

Reflect the parents and children investigation of the present situation of communication difficult and more than that.The China youth daily social research center in the 2010 survey also showed,In life will encounter major issues to who help on this one problem,63.3% of the people first friend age,Secondly, the parents(46.2%).China international family education BBS organizing committee and tianjin[JinWanBao]Sponsored by the"children,I: tell me something about your troubles"Essay activities also display,"Hosanna in the parents unable to communicate"/"Parents do not understand your troubles",In the children all troubles ranked in the front rank.

　　在国际比较视野中，我国家长与子女沟通难的问题也显得非常突出。中国青少年研究中心2009年发布的《中日韩美四国高中生权益状况比较研究报告》显示，日本高中生经常和父母聊天的比例最高(82.0%)，其次是美国高中生(73.8%)，韩国高中生排在第三位(70.1%)，中国高中生排在最后(54.8%)。该调查同时显示，在烦恼的时候，21.0%的中国高中生无人倾诉，在四国中所占比例最高。

In the international comparison in the field of vision,Parents and children in China communication difficult question also appears very prominent.China youth research center, published in 2009[The republic of Korea beauty four high school students rights and comparative study status report]display,Japanese high school students and parents often chat the highest percentage(82.0%),The second is American high school students(73.8%),South Korea high school is ranked third in the world(70.1%),China's high school student in the last row(54.8%).This investigation shows at the same time,When in trouble,21.0% of Chinese high school students talk no one,In the fourth highest proportion.

　　就在许多人抱怨父母与子女越来越难沟通的同时，一则关于“中国式接送”的新闻也成为公众关注焦点。时下众多家长“吐槽”，每到下午放学时间，全国各地小学门口便会上演“中国式接孩子”。许多网友感叹，这就是中国家长对孩子过度关心与呵护的最真实写照。

In many people complain that parents and children communication has become more and more difficult at the same time,About a"Chinese transportation"News has become the public focus.Nowadays many parents"Vomit tank",Every class in the afternoon time,All over the country at the door of the elementary school will stage"Chinese joint children".Many netizens exclamation,This is the Chinese parents to children excessive concern and care of the most true portraiture.

　　一边是家长对孩子高度关心与呵护，另一边是家长与孩子的沟通存在严重问题，这两种看似矛盾却又同时存在的现象背后隐藏着什么？对孩子高度关心与关注的中国家长，为什么会出现与孩子沟通难的问题？

One is the parents to the child care and care height,The other side is parents and children communication have serious problems,These two kinds of contradiction but again at the same time, the phenomenon of existence of hidden behind?Child care and attention to height of Chinese parents,Why will appear communication with your children difficult problem?

　　2008年，上海市第五十四中学高二女生陈冲，用一年时间在上海市8个区12所中学实施了一项高中生与父母沟通现状的调查。结果显示，当问及“最想和父母沟通的内容”时，93%的受访学生填答的内容都与“关注自我”有关。其中，“个人兴趣”的填答比例最高，达到了21%，其他依次是“感兴趣的文体明星”、“金融”、“投资”、“历史奇闻”、“健康保健类的知识”，排在最后的才是学习、高考等话题。

In 2008,,Shanghai high school 54 girl Joan,Take a year in Shanghai eight zone 12 middle school high school students carried out a survey on the present situation of communicate with their parents.Results show that,When asked about"Most parents and the content of the communication"when,93% of students and the contents of the educators"Focus on self"relevant.the,"Personal interest"The highest percentage of educators,Reached 21%,Other ordinal it is"Interested in star style"/"financial"/"investment"/"Historical anecdote"/"Health care kind of knowledge",In the last row is learning/College entrance examination etc. Topic.

　　但调查同时发现，在现实中，56%的受访学生表示，跟父母沟通最多的是与学习和学校相关的事情，只有不足20%的人会沟通“未来职业规划”和“家庭结构”等与学习完全无关的内容。

But the study also found that,In reality,56% of the students said,Communicate with parents is the largest and learning and school related things,Fewer than 20% of the people will communicate"The future career planning"and"Family structure"Study and completely irrelevant content.

　　陈冲认为，在孩子与父母的沟通中，存在着双方以自我为中心、“想说的”和“想听的”总是不合拍等严重问题，致使双方进行的是一种缺乏真正交流的“伪沟通”。

Joan think,In the children and their parents in communication,There are both self-centered/"Want to say"and"Want to hear"Always out of step and serious problem,The cause is a lack of real communication"Pseudo communication".

　　《中日韩美四国高中生权益状况比较研究报告》也显示，82.1%的中国高中生表示父母平时最关心自己的学习成绩，高于对孩子身体健康(79.1%)的关注，更远远高于对孩子生活习惯(49.8%)、交友情况(44.5)和情绪变化(31.9%)的关注。

[The republic of Korea beauty four high school students rights and comparative study status report]Also shows,82.1% of Chinese students said most at ordinary times parents care about their learning results,Higher than to the child's physical health(79.1%)attention,More far higher than for children living habits(49.8%)/Friendly circumstance(44.5)And emotional changes(31.9%)attention.

　　对比中美家长可以发现，中国家长对孩子学习之外生活的关注度明显较低。81.1%的美国高中生表示“父母知道我的好朋友的情况”，78.6%的美国高中生表示“父母知道我对什么感兴趣”，80.2%的美国高中生表示“父母了解我回家之后干些什么”。只有63.9%的中国高中生表示“父母知道我的好朋友的情况”，57.5%的中国高中生表示“父母知道我对什么感兴趣”，76.0%的中国高中生表示“父母了解我回家之后干些什么”。

Contrast the parents can be found,Chinese parents to academic life outside the attention of significantly lower.81.1% of American high school students said"Parents know that my friends",78.6% of American high school students said"Parents know what I'm interested in",80.2% of American high school students said"Parents know me back home to do??????".Only 63.9% of Chinese students said"Parents know that my friends",57.5% of Chinese students said"Parents know what I'm interested in",76.0% of Chinese students said"Parents know me back home to do??????".

　　知名教育专家、武汉市教育局副局长田文江教授表示，当前90%的家长都在无意中将家庭教育与学校教育简单叠加，学校教各门功课，家长也只关心孩子学习，为孩子补习功课。这种教育往往是无效的。家长应该多关心孩子的身体和情商，培养孩子的行为习惯、爱心感恩、生活的基本技能和常识。现在很多孩子有知识、没常识，有做秀技能、没有生存技能，这就是家庭教育错位的后果。

Famous education experts/Wuhan education bureau deputy director TianWenJiang professor said,The current 90% of parents in the family education and the school will not education simple superposition,School each course,Parents also only care about children learn,For children with homework.This kind of education is often invalid.Parents should be more concerned about the child's physical and emotional quotient,Develop the child's behavior/Love Thanksgiving/Life of basic skills and common sense.Now many children have knowledge/No common sense,Do show skills/No survival skills,This is the family education dislocation consequences.

　　南开大学陈钟林教授建议，父母应该与孩子建立朋友般的关系，主动跟孩子说说心里话，学会多倾听、少说教。还要多注意自身修养，关注新鲜事物，培养与孩子共同的兴趣点，争取能在多个方面跟孩子说得上话，不要只局限在学习这个单一的话题上。向楠

Nankai university professor ChenZhongLin Suggestions,Parents should be with the child to establish the relationship between friends,The initiative follows the child say,Learn to listen more/Less sermon.Also pay more attention to their own culture,Focus on new things,Training and children common interest points,For in many aspects with children say up words,Not only limited in the study on the topic of this single.To nan