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[原标题：没考上理想中学儿子发帖称对不起博士父母] Original title:Did not take an examination of ideal middle school son post said I'm sorry parents].

　　浙江在线11月07日讯虽然开学已经两个多月了，但之前本地论坛上一则《爸爸妈妈，对不起》的帖子，让很多人谈起一个新话题：高学历家庭的教育问题。

Zhejiang online November 7 day - although school has more than two months,But before the local BBS on a[Mom and dad,I'm sorry]post,Let a lot of people talk about a new topic:Highly educated family education problems.

　　该帖子，曾一度被置顶。

This post,Once be stickies.

　　中考的儿子，为考不上理想高中而自责，发帖称自己“中考失败”、“对不起爸爸妈妈”；双博士的父母，跟帖称，“孩子：你已经很优秀，爸爸妈妈都以你为骄傲。”尽显父母的宽容与对孩子的鼓励。

Tests, the son of,In order to test the ideal high school and remorse,Post said they"Tests failed"/"I'm sorry mom and dad";Double doctor parents,Gentie says,"children:You have very good,Mom and dad are you for pride."All show the parents to the child's tolerance and encourage.

　　这是孩子的懂事，还是高学历家庭下孩子承受着巨大压力？高学历父母，又如何进行家庭教育？

This is the child's sensible,Or highly educated family next child under great pressure?Highly educated parents,And how to carry on the family education?

　　昨天，本报深度对话高中儿子与博士父亲，试图了解高学历家庭面临的教育困惑。

yesterday,Our depth dialogue high school son with dr father,Try to understand the highly educated family education facing the confusion.

　　“我已经告别了初中生活。

"I have already said goodbye to the junior middle school life.

　　今天晚上，我就这样一个人冷静下来，回看我已经走过的十几年，想着想着，就掉眼泪了。对不起，爸爸妈妈，我真的对不起你们。”

This evening,I was such a person calm down,Look back at what I had already passed more than ten years,Thinking about thinking of,Will shed tears.I'm sorry,Mom and dad,I'm really sorry you."

　　帖主自称“Sying”，这是他在《爸爸妈妈，对不起》帖子中写下的开头。

For the Lord himself"Sying",This is he in[Mom and dad,I'm sorry]In the beginning of the post wrote.

　　Sying说，回想起这些年，他真的很内疚，他觉得对不起爸爸妈妈，也对不起那些对我给予太多厚望的人。

Sying said,Recall these,He is really guilty,He felt sorry mom and dad,Also I'm sorry that I give too much of the great man.

　　“我爸爸是××大学土木工程的博士，我妈妈是××大学信息学院的博士，两个名牌大学的博士，为什么就生出了我这么笨的一个孩子啊。

"My father is xx university civil engineering PhD,My mother is xx university college of information of the doctor,Two famous university doctor,Why leaves me so stupid a child.

　　我小学毕业，拿着一张杭外的准考证免试进入了××民办中学，在初一上的时候，我的成绩从来没有排进过班级前三十。

I graduated from the primary school,With a piece of hangzhou outside the admission ticket an exemption entered xx school of run by the local people,In the first time,My grades have never had before discharge into class 30.

　　我的班主任老是骂我，我有好几次，被他叫到办公室去骂了很久很久。甚至有一次，我妈也在。看到她和我一起被班主任责备，她一次次收到同事的电话，和同事女儿比较成绩时的羞于出口，我真的很心疼。后来的成绩，慢慢好起来了，但还是不太稳定。

My teacher in charge always scold me,I have several times,He called to the office to scold for a long time.There is even a,My mother also in.See her and me together was the teacher in charge to blame,She received the phone after colleagues,And his colleagues daughter comparison result of shy away from exports,I really love dearly.Later result,Good up slowly,But still not so stable.

　　这一次中考，我505分，但是因为正好压着杭高的分数线，历史科目不够高，没能进入一度梦想着的杭高。

This time tests,I 505 points,But because the pressure the hangzhou high fractional line,Historical subject not tall enough,Can't enter once dreamed of the hangzhou high.

　　爸爸，妈妈，对不起，尽管你们根本没有要求我要考上杭高，但我还是觉得我这个孩子让你们失望了。

dad,mother,I'm sorry,Even though you didn't ask me to want to take an examination of hangzhou high,But I still think I'm the child let you down.

　　对不起，我不会让你们再失望了，我愿意付出一切，去换来高考那一刻的成功。虽然我知道我这么说很肤浅，但我只是不想让你们失望。

I'm sorry,I won't let you down again,I would like to give everything,To change the college entrance examination that the success of the moment.Though I know I said so very superficial,But I just don't want to let you down.

　　我只想有一天，我能成为你们的骄傲，我要用尽我的一切，去换来成功。”

I just want to have a day,I will be proud of you,I want to run out everything to me,To get success."

　　

［故事］ [story]

　　

儿子发帖:没考上理想学校，对不起父母 Son post: didn't take an examination of ideal school,I'm sorry parents

　　Sying的帖子，发表7天后，被置顶，成为“社区头条”。也就在那天，爸爸终于看到了Sying的话。

Sying post,Published 7 days,Be stickies,become"Community headlines".In that day,Dad finally saw Sying words.

　　爸爸这样回帖：“孩子：你已经很优秀，因为人每一次突破自己的极限都是非常艰难和难得的，特别是在大家都全力以赴的今天。爸爸妈妈都以你为骄傲，也会和你一起面对今后的那些困难。你是否现在看那些过去爬过的山头也不就那么回事了？若干年后，你看现在的困难一定也是这样。老爸”

Dad this reply:"children:You have very good,Because the person every breakthrough own limit is very difficult and rare,Especially in everyone go all out today.Mom and dad are you for pride,Also can with you in the future in the face of the difficulties.If you now look at the past climb over the mountain is not so return a responsibility the?After years of,You see now difficulties must also is such.dad"

　　其实，儿子的帖子，令爸爸既感动又担心：“孩子太要强，并不好。虽然压力客观存在，同学中有更出色的。”在帖子里，他看到了儿子的困境。

In fact,Son's son,Make dad both touching and worry:"Children too strong,Is not good.Although pressure objective existence,Classmates is better."In the post,He saw the son's dilemma.

　　那周回去后，他给孩子减了压。“人比人，比死人，我们只要尽力就好。人生总有起起落落，不能因为这个阶段而否定以后、否定自己。看到哪里不足，哪些需要改进，改进就完了，把当前的事做好。”

The weeks after return,He gave the child reduced pressure."People than people,Than the dead,As long as we try our best to good.Life has its ups and downs,Cannot because this stage and negative later/Deny himself.See where deficiency,Which need to improve,Improvement over,The current things well."

　　

是否高学历，无形中给了儿子压力？ Is highly educated,Virtually gave son pressure?

　　对于这个问题，Sying爸爸并未正面回答。他说：“父母读书读得好，不一定非得儿子也要怎么样。我常跟我爱人开玩笑，不见得父母是名牌大学，儿子就不能读三本。”

For this problem,Sying dad did not answer.He said:"Parents reading read well,You don't have to son also want to.I used to joke with my wife,Parents are not famous university,Son could not read three this."

　　他希望，儿子将来能从事一份技术性的工作，如工程师。他希望，儿子能独立坚强，能自食其力。

He wants to,Son future in a technical work,If the engineer.He wants to,Son can independently strong,Can earn one's own living.

　　对于孩子，他还说，“成长并不是甩给名师名校。”成长，需要“平时关注，他是否在努力做。”与此同时，父母需要跟他一起努力，“而不是讲大道理。”

For children,He also said,"Growth and not to jilt to school teacher."growth,need"Peacetime attention,He is trying to do."meanwhile,Parents need to work together with him,"Not speak truth."

　　对话Sying时，能明显感觉到，他是一个不善言语，却又敏感细腻的人。

Dialog when Sying,Can obviously feel,He is a bad words,Yet sensitive of the fine people.

　　他说，自己初一初二的成绩并不好。初三时，开始了“玩命的努力”。

He said,His early month achievement was not good.High school,began"Hard efforts".

　　6点起床，8点半晚自习下课回家复习至深夜。中午，夹着资料跑到舞蹈教室复习，只为那里的无人打扰。傍晚，教室里总有他的埋头苦读。晚饭，为了节约来回路程，总让同学打包带上一份，草草了事。

Get up at 6:00,At half past eight class arching over home review far into the night.At noon,Clamp the material ran to the dance classroom review,For where no one disturb.In the evening,The classroom always has his studying so hard.dinner,In order to save it back and forth,Always let students take a pack,hurry.

　　他放弃了十四中分校的保送，他一定要考上杭高。其实，他并不是执着于杭高，而是执着于“前三”。“前三”，在他看来，是中考成功的注脚。

He gave up at ten 4 the walks,He must take an examination of hangzhou high.In fact,He is not attached to hangzhou high,But attached to"First three"."First three",In his view,Examination is the success of footnotes.

　　他说，“我之所以那么急切地想要获得成功，其实很大一部分原因是因为我的父亲。”并非父亲的要求高，“爸爸妈妈对我的要求不高，可能比我的同学低。考砸时，他们也不会说什么，只是让我下次加油。”

He said,"I am so eager to succeed,In large part because of my father."The requirements of the father is not high,"Mom and dad to my request is not high,Perhaps more than my classmates low.Flunked when,They would not say what,Just let me the next refueling."

　　于是，他讲起了关于父亲的事：

so,He speaks about father's things:

　　“我爸爸毕业之后，就开始在杭州从事房地产工作。在我三年级的时候，他就离开杭州，去外地工作。他很忙，只有周末才能回来。

"My father after graduation,Began to work in hangzhou engaged in real estate.In my grade three of the time,He left hangzhou,Go abroad to work.He was very busy,Only to come back this weekend.

　　我曾经去过他工作的地方，看过他的宿舍，还调侃地对他说，‘这里条件太差了，连个地砖都没有。’他只是淡淡地笑了。但我知道，他真的很辛苦，一个人努力在外面打拼，还不是为了让我更幸福，为了撑起这个家？”

I have been to his place of business,Seen his dormitory,Also fun to say to him,‘Here is too poor conditions,Even a floor tile all have no.’He simply smiled.But I know,He is really hard,A man trying to fight outside,Also not to let me more happiness,In order to hold up the house?"

　　可为什么，只有成绩才能说明成功？又为什么，非得给自己无退路的压力？

Why can,Only performance ability shows success?And why,Have to give yourself no turning back pressure?

　　“在这个时代，除了成绩，我还能有什么呢？”这样刺激神经的反问，他连问了记者三遍。

"In this age,In addition to performance,I can have what?"So stimulate the nerve of rhetorical question,He even asked the reporter three times.

　　对于成绩，他仍不能释怀“错过前三”。他说，“我真的希望能够在高考时辉煌一次，再在大学毕业后辉煌一次。”

For the performance,He still can't get"Miss the first three".He said,"I really hope to be able to when the university entrance exam a brilliant,After graduation from the university again in a brilliant."

　　尽管，父母并未对他提出高要求。可Sying却在无形中，承受着父母高学历的压力。在他们的身上，他看到了“成绩—文凭—成功”三者之间，只是单线条的影响关系。

although,The parents did not put forward high request to him.Can Sying was virtually,Under the pressure of highly educated parents.In their body,He saw"Results - diploma - success"Between the three,The influence of the article is single.

　　在他们的光环之下，他又十分渴求尽快证明自己，让高学历的父母为他骄傲。他想，像爸爸一样成功。无论，是拥有名校博士学位的成功，还是事业有成的成功。

In their under the aura,He is so greedy for prove himself as soon as possible,Let the highly educated parents was proud of him.He wants to,Like my father success.No matter,With the success of the famous doctor's degree,Or a successful career success.

　　其实，Sying心底认为，父母在内心对他肯定有所要求和期待，只不过表面上不明说而已。

In fact,Sying heart think,Parents in the heart of he must have requirements and expectations,Only on the surface that unknown said.

　　

对话儿子：我想像父亲一样成功 Dialogue son:I thought his father success

　　［调查］ [investigation]

　　父母高学历 Parents highly educated

　　孩子成绩未必都出色 Child achievement are not always good

　　高学历的家庭，是否都有一个相似的结？高学历的父母们，各自又如何打开这个结？

Highly educated family,Whether there is a similar "?Highly educated parents,Their respective and how to open the knot?

　　记者做了个小型调查，发现高学历家庭成长起来的孩子，未必成绩都很出色。

Reporter made a small study,Found highly educated family grow up children,Not necessarily scores very well.

　　黄先生，名校金融硕士，现为一家银行副行长；李女士：本科毕业，现为一名设计师。

Mr. Huang,School master of financial,He is a bank vice President;Ms. Li:Undergraduate course graduation,Now for a designer.

　　由于丈夫一直忙于工作，女儿的教育，“丢”给了李女士。“出人头地”，一直是李女士对女儿的期待。

Since her husband had been very busy in his work,Daughter's education,"lost"Gave ms. Li."Stand out",Ms. Li has been to her expectations.

　　可令李女士纳闷的是，“良好的基因，怎么就没有遗传？”初中开始，女儿的成绩开始下降。纵使她严要求，女儿的成绩也不见起色。反倒，加剧了女儿对考试恐惧。有时，她紧张得手心直冒汗。

Can make ms. Li wonder,"Good genes,How have no genetic?"Junior high school began to,Her daughter's performance began to decline.Though she is the highest,Her daughter's performance also does not see improvement.but,Exacerbated the daughter to exam fear.sometimes,She was too nervous straight palms sweat.

　　尽管成绩上并未见长，但女儿从小就有经营头脑。小学时，她就尝试着批发文具用品卖给同学。可这事被母亲知道后，被暴打一顿。在李女士看来，“有个好成绩，考个重点大学，才是正经。”

Although the result not to grow perceptibly,But the daughter since I was a business mind.Elementary school,She tried to wholesale stationery products sold to the students.Can it be mother know that,Be suddenly and violently dozen.In ms. Li looks,"Have a good result,Take an examination of a key university,Is serious."

　　更令她难过的是，亲戚家的儿子，成绩十分出色。而且，“他们夫妻的学历，都不如我们啊。”

The more that she is sad,Relatives, the son of,Result is very good.and,"They couples degree,Than we ah."

　　现在，女儿考上了一所知名大学的独立学院，虽然是独立学院，但多少让李女士释怀了一些。

now,Daughter admitted to a famous university of independent college,Although it is independent college,But how much let ms. Li get some.

　

　父母学会示弱 Parents learn to weakness

　　给孩子适当自由空间 Give children appropriate free space

　　陈先生，名校硕士，从事通信行业；费女士，名校硕士，从事金融行业。

Mr. Chen,School master,Engaged in communication industry;Fee lady,School master,Engaged in the financial industry.

　　之前，费女士一直不觉得高学历会产生什么影响。但直到儿子念初中后，她发现，儿子游走于有时的自卑与极度的好强间，情绪随成绩而起伏。

before,Fee lady always don't think highly educated what affect will.But it was not until after the son in junior high school,She found,Son walk on sometimes inferiority and extremely strong room,Emotional ups and downs with the result and.

　　与朋友讨论后，她才意识到，“父母高学历给了儿子压力。”渐渐地，她花更多地时间去研究儿子，也找到了不少好的方法。

After discussion with friends,She didn't realize,"Parents highly educated to a son pressure."gradually,She spend more time to study the son,Also found a lot of good method.

　　费女士开始学着在生活小事上刻意犯迷糊，“让孩子觉得你也会犯错，对他的紧张情绪会舒缓一下。”她还会，“向孩子讨教一下你不太擅长的，而他很有兴趣的东西，多给他自信。”她也会，和孩子一起探讨一个双方都感兴趣的问题，而这种问题没有任何标准答案。比如，苹果的营销模式。在这个过程中，“我参与到他的世界里，他也融入进我们的世界，我们同一个起点，一起学习成长。”

Fee lady began to learn to live in small deliberately make confused,"Let children feel that you, too, will make mistakes,To his tension will relieve the."She can,"For your child to not too good at,And he was very interested in things,Give his confidence."She would,And children explore a both interested in,And this kind of question without any standard answer.For example,Apple's marketing model.In this process,"I participate in his world,He also into into our world,We the same starting point,Study together growth."

　　本科学历的方女士和硕士学历的丈夫，平时都忙于工作。不过，他们的孩子，却独立自主，十分出色，目前上海财经大学国际会计专业在读。

Bachelor degree of ms fang and master degree husband,At ordinary times are all busy with work.but,Their children,But independent,Very good,At present Shanghai finance and economics university international accounting professional reading.

　　方女士的方法是：“给孩子一个适当的自由空间，但并不是什么都不管。关注孩子的行事与态度，在出现问题前控制。”

Ms fang method is:"Give children a proper free space,But not everything no matter.Pay attention to children's act and attitude,The problems in the former control."

　　父母虽然是高学历，但不能以高学历的姿态去要求孩子。“站在他的角度去倾听他的想法，尊重他的建议与选择。”

Although it is highly educated parents,But not with highly educated attitude to ask for children."Standing in the point of view of him to listen to his ideas,Respect for his advice and selection."

　　在这个过程中，儿子渐养成独立自主的习惯。“平常在家时，他不需要我们管。他自己在房间做自己的事，我们也只要管自己就好。甚至在中考、高考，也没有搞特殊化。”

In this process,Son gradually form the habit of independent."Usually at home,He doesn't need we tube.He himself in the room to do your own thing,We also as long as tube yourself.Even in the tests/College entrance examination,Also didn't specialization."