批评 criticism

人不自重他人必贱之 People don't dead weight of the others will base

　　跳出农门，有了一份体面的工作，有了一个幸福的家庭，就把自己当成了城里人，就想和自己的老家划清界限，甚至决绝到了连自己的父亲都不愿意认的地步。这种心态和《红楼梦》里探春口口声声说自己的舅舅是九省检点王子腾,而不肯承认赵姨娘的兄弟是自己的亲娘舅简直如出一辙。或许，在儿子心中，自己那远道而来衣衫褴褛的父亲带给自己的不是亲情的感动，而是削了自己的面子，所以硬起心肠不让老父进门。不过一个连自己的父亲都不敢带回家的人又如何能得到应有的尊重，又哪里能得到想要的面子？

Jump out of NongMen,Have a decent job,Have a happy family,Just think of yourself as a person in the city,Just want to and his hometown drawn,Even refuse to even his own father are not willing to the point of recognition.This kind of mentality and[A dream of red mansions]In TanChun keep on saying said his uncle is nine provinces WangZiTeng check,But refused to admit that zhao aunt brother is their close NianJiu can be exactly the same.perhaps,In the son in the heart,Her come a long way in rags father to bring his family is not touched,But cut his own face,So steeled don't let the door father.But an even his father all dare not take home and how people can get the respect that is due,And where to get the desired face?

　　当社会上不同阶层之间的鸿沟越来越明显的时候，“农二代”、“农民工二代”的标签也越来越清晰，全社会对于这些称呼背后所代表的歧视甚至是社会阶层的固化也越来越警惕。我们呼唤公平公正，但是，如果身为“农二代”的自己都把这样的标签当成一种耻辱甚至是千方百计拒绝承认的时候，你又如何能获得应有的社会尊重？

When the different of social stratum of the gap between more and more evident,"Farming the second generation"/"Second generation peasant workers"Tags also more and more clear,The whole society call for these behind represent discrimination and even social strata curing also more and more alert.We call for a fair and just,but,If a"Farming the second generation"Own are put such a tag as a shame even leave no stone unturned refused to admit that time,So how can you attain the social respect?

　　人必自重而后人重之，同样，人不自重而他人必贱之。作为一个农民的后代并不是什么丢人的事情。故意掩盖自己的出身暴露的只是骨子里的虚荣和不自信，也正因为如此，狠起心肠不让父亲进门的儿子不仅没能维护自己那可怜的尊严，相反却被舆论吊到了道德的耻辱柱上。大家围观的或许仅仅是一个不孝的儿子，但真正让我们纠结的却是这样的行为背后所代表的一个群体的自我矮化。自己都瞧不起自己，都开始习惯于把自己的“农二代”身份当成一种负担，这才是最悲哀的事情。温国鹏

Will future generations of weight and weight,The same,People don't respect yourself and others will be the base.As a farmer's offspring and is not what a thing.Deliberately hide my background exposure is skin vanity and confidence,Also because of this,Malicious her heart don't let father the son of the door not only failed to maintain the dignity of the poor,But contrary to public opinion hanging on moral shameful pole.Everybody had perhaps is only a unfilial son,But the real let us swirly is behind such behavior represents a group of self dwarf.Look down on his own,Are beginning to get used to his own"Farming the second generation"Identity as a kind of burden,This is the most sad thing.WenGuoPeng

理解 understand

换位思考相互体谅 Perspective-taking mutual understanding

　　网友们基本上是“一边倒”地批评这位儿子的做法。认为他“忘了本”、“没有孝心”、“不尊重父母”。应该承认，从我国传统伦理的角度出发，儿子的做法肯定是错误的。但是，笔者认为，对于“不让贫父进家门”不妨理性看待。

Net friends is basically"lopsided"To criticize the son's practice.Think he"Forget this"/"No filial piety"/"Don't respect for their parents".Should admit,From the perspective of China's traditional ethics,Son practice must be wrong.but,The author thinks that,for"Don't let the poor father into the house"Might as well a rational view.

　　首先，我们看看这位父亲的行头。这位父亲，挑着编织袋和旧提包，编织袋的拉链都坏了。他穿着旧夹克和脏兮兮的牛仔裤。其实，我们很多人都有这样的体会。一个人的贫穷和穿着整洁是两码事。这位父亲大老远从外地到城里来看儿子，穿着整洁应该是起码的要求。换上一套干净的衣服，应该不是什么难事。一来，可以给初次见面的媳妇留下一个好印象。二来，穿着整洁也对自己孙子的健康有好处。遗憾的是，这位父亲的一身行头多少让人感到有点失望。

First of all,We look at the father's wardrobe.The father,Pick a woven bag and old bag,Woven bag zipper is broken.He wore old jacket and dirty jeans.In fact,We are a lot of people have such experience.A person's poverty and wearing clean are two different things.The father came all this way from the field to the city to visit our son,Dressed in clean should be at least requirements.Change a clean clothes,Should not be so difficult.way,Can give first met daughter-in-law to leave a good impression.secondly,Dressed in neat also to his grandson's health benefits.It is a pity that,The father's a wardrobe much let a person feel a bit disappointed.

　　其次，儿子或许也有“难言之隐”。据了解，老人的儿子毕业以后，在南京买了房子成了家。我们知道，南京的房价在全国范围来看，还处于一个比较高的水平，就连在郊区的房子也要卖到1万多元1平方米。应该说，一位外地大学生，工作没有几年，在没有父母资助的情况下，在南京买房成家，确实是一件非常不容易的事。比如，他的儿子虽然在南京买了房，可能向银行贷了不少款，生活的压力肯定也不轻；也可能他儿子虽然在南京买了房，但是房子的面积不是很大。要是父亲来了，和他们住在一起，肯定很不方便，生活中会有很多尴尬。我们不妨换位思考一下，遇到这样的情形，你会怎样处理呢？

secondly,Son may also have"Secret sorrow".It is understood,The old man's son after graduation,In nanjing to buy the house had a family.We know that,Nanjing home prices in countrywide,Is still in a relatively high level,Even in the suburbs house also want to sell 10000 yuan 1 square meters.Should say,A foreign college students,Working without a few years,In no parents funded cases,A family to buy a house in nanjing,It is a very not easy thing.For example,His son though in nanjing bought a house,The bank may be borrowed a lot of money,The pressure of life is certainly not light;May his son though in nanjing bought a house,But the area of the house is not very big.If father came,And they live together,Must be very inconvenient,Life will have a lot of embarrassment.We might as well transposition thinking about,Encountered this kind of situation,How will you deal with it?

　　记得电视连续剧《双面胶》给很多观众留下了深刻的印象。其中，对很多农村人和城里人之间的矛盾刻画得入木三分，引起了很多人的共鸣。

Remember TV series[Double-sided adhesive]Give a lot of the audience left a deep impression.the,For many rural and city residents depict the contradiction between the astute,Caused a lot of resonance.

　　家家都有一本难念的经。我认为，很多家庭矛盾很难分出谁对谁错。如果双方能多一些换位思考，从对方的角度出发想问题，多一些相互体谅的情怀，那么一些矛盾和误解完全可以避免。如此一来，才能少一些“不让贫父进家门”这样的尴尬。陶崇银

Every family has a skeleton.I think,A lot of family conflict it's hard to tell who is right and who is wrong.If the parties can more transposition thinking,From the point of view of each other to problem,Some more mutual understanding feelings,So some conflicts and misunderstandings can avoid.so,To less"Don't let the poor father into the house"Such awkward.TaoChongYin

剖析 analysis

城乡差别造成歧视 The differences between town and country cause discrimination

　　犹如一个隐喻，做儿子环顾左右而言他说出的一句“我眼镜找不到了”，让人联想到他的眼睛也丢了。在此，我不想去谴责他的不孝，而是想探究他是如何丢弃认老父的眼睛的。我发现，凡是诸如此类的进城子女不让农村父母进家门或校门的新闻都有一个共同点，即做子女的嫌农民父母土气、贫穷，生怕丢自己的脸。所以说，导致儿子不孝的根本原因乃日益扩大的城乡鸿沟产生的阶层断裂和阶层歧视。假如其父亲不是来自贫困的湖北农村，而是来自富裕的浙江乡下，一边种田，一边办厂经商，食有鱼，出有车，腰包鼓鼓的，此番是自驾车赴南京来看望孙子，高档皮包里早已准备了一个大红包，你想，做儿子的会拒绝其进家门吗？说不定做儿子媳妇的早就盼望这一天了。

As a metaphor,Do son looking around thinking he uttered a word"My glasses can't find it",Lets a person associate to his eyes also lost.In this,I don't want to go to condemn his unfilial,But want to explore how he discard to recognize the eyes of the father.I found,All such into the city children don't let rural parents into the house or school news have one thing in common,That made children's parents don't think farmers rustic/poverty,For fear that lost his face.so,Lead to son unfilial root cause is the widening gap between urban and rural areas from the class fracture and class discrimination.If his father comes not from poor rural areas of hubei province,But from affluent zhejiang in the country,Side farming,Side business and set up factories in,Food has fish,The car,Pockets bulging,This "is the drive to nanjing to visit grandson,High-grade purse had prepared a large red packets,You want to,The son will refuse to its into the house?Perhaps do son daughter-in-law already looking forward to this day.

　　别说张老汉不懂礼数，大老远赶来南京看望孙子，不想把自己打扮得光鲜一点，实在是因为穷，置办不起出门的衣服，也买不起像样一点的挎包什么的，只能用一根扁担挑着青菜萝卜或腌菜等土产上路了。

Don't say a old man don't understand etiquette,For coming all this way to visit nanjing grandson,I do not want to dress up to bright point,Really because of poor,Can't afford to buy the clothes out,Also can't afford to buy a decent bag or something,Only with a piece of carrying pole green radish or salted vegetable crops, such as on the road.

　　我不认为这位儿子完全不懂感恩，对父亲没一点感情，而是父亲的模样装扮与城市形象、家庭环境太格格不入了，反差太强烈了，这种反差勾起了他对当年贫困农村和贫穷家庭的痛苦回忆，也隐隐地担忧老父的出现会加重家庭负担（此次说不定是有求于他来的），妻子最怕的不就是这点吗？人，往往因为利益盘算，扭曲了人伦关系，孝道也是如此。

I don't think the son completely no gratitude,Father didn't a little affection,But his father's appearance is dressed up and the image of the city/Family environment is out of tune,The contrast is too strong,This contrast reminded him to the poor rural and poor family painful memories,Vaguely also worries about the emergence of the father can aggravate the burden of the family(This is perhaps want him to come),His wife most afraid of is not it?people,Often because of interest calculation,Distorted the ethical relationship,Filial piety is so.

　　对张老汉这样的儿子，单是对其进行孝道教育，或者用“新二十四孝”这样的标准去要求他，无济于事，要改变进城子女不认农民父母的现象，关键在于推动实现胡锦涛同志在十八大报告中描绘的关于保障和改善民生的美好愿景，缩小城乡差别，提高农民收入，让农民过上好日子，活得有尊严。唯其如此，张老汉儿子丢在贫穷里的眼睛才会在共同富裕里重新捡到。

For the son of this piece of the old man,Single is the filial piety education,Or use"New 24 filial piety"Such standard to ask him,useless,To change the city children parents disown farmers phenomenon,The key is to promote realization comrade hu jintao in the eighteenth big report described about security and improving people's livelihood good vision,Reduce the differences between town and country,Raising farmers' income,To let farmers to live a good life,Live with dignity.Pretty pass,Zhang old man son throw in poor in eyes will be the common prosperity to pick up.

王学进 WangXueJin

教育缺位丧失荣辱 Education absence of honor or disgrace of loss

　　从深层次上说，是“美丑不分”的观念将老人拒之于门外了。儿子的心里或许是痛楚的，可是他怕社会上那些讽刺的目光：看这家伙的出身真不咋的！说白了是社会的白眼将老人包围了，总有一些目光将他们“盯死”。从这个角度说，父子两人都是受害者，是我们的社会没有给来自最底层的草根一个更加和谐的生存环境，我想起一位底层人物的传奇故事和他的一句经典话语“奋斗了20年，我终于可以和你坐在一起喝咖啡了！”同样的来到人间，为什么我们会让一些人喝个咖啡都要奋斗20年，这不值得深思吗？

From the deep said,is"Regardless of beauty and ugliness"The concept will be out of the old man in the door.Son's heart is perhaps the pain,But he was afraid that the eyes of irony in society:Look at this guy born really don't zha of!Karma is the social supercilious look will surround the old man,There is always some eye will they"At death".From this perspective,Father and son two people are victims,Is our society does not give from bottom grassroots a more harmonious living environment,I think of a bottom character's legendary stories and his a classical discourse"Struggle for 20 years,I finally can you sit together and drink coffee!"The same came to earth,Why do we let some people drink a coffee will struggle 20 years,It's not worth thinking?

　　还有一种可能，那就是来自儿子现在家庭的“拒绝”让他望而却步了。时代在发展，社会在进步，而我们的传统美德却在不经意间丢失了。善待公婆、善待父母的公序良俗在慢慢地被打破。民间有一句话叫做“儿媳妇老婆婆凉水里面泡馍馍”，这句话虽然偏颇，但也说明了一个社会问题。真想对天下的儿媳说：爱你的男人就爱你男人的爹妈，爱你男人曾经贫寒但温暖的家，是这个贫寒的家养育了你爱着的男人，没有这个贫寒的家就没有你爱的男人和你现在温暖的家。

There is also a chance,That is the son of the family from now"Refused to"Let him the flinch.Age in the development,Social progress in,And our traditional virtue but inadvertently lost.Treat parents-in-law/Do good to parents' public order and good in slowly being broken.There is a folk called"The old woman daughter-in-law in cold water bubble bun",This sentence although biased,But also illustrates a social problem.Really want to say the daughter-in-law:A man who loved you will love you man's parents,Love your man had poor but warm home,Is this the poor home raised you love the man,Without this poor home is not you love the men and now you warm home.

　　“嫌爹丢人”的背后还有一个问题值得我们深思：在我们培养出了高学历人才的时候，为什么没能培育出更多“知荣辱”的人群，这实在是教育的失败，失败在什么地方呢？就是对德育的缺失或者是不到位。高分数低能力、高学历低素质的出现，不就是我们在教育取向上出现了“不可饶恕”的偏差吗。在美丽中国建设中，我们需要学历高、人品也好的人才，这样才能更好地建设我们的美丽中国。

"Too dad a"Behind the there is a problem worthy of our thinking:In our culture out of the highly educated talented person's time,Why can't cultivate more"Wed bred"crowd,It is the failure of the education,Failure in what place?The moral education is the lack of or is not in place.High score low ability/Highly educated low quality of the appeared,Is not in our education appeared on the orientation"unforgivable"Deviation?.In the beautiful in the construction of China,We need high degree/Personal character also good talent,In order to better build our beautiful China.

　　“嫌爹丢人”不是一个新鲜的话题，自古有之，将来也还会有，我们需要做的就是如何减少这样的荒唐之举，应该更多思考这背后的原因，找到症结，医治起来就会药到病除。郭元鹏

"Too dad a"Is not a new topic,What have since ancient times,In the future also will have,We need to do is how to reduce such an absurd,Should be more to think about the reasoning behind this,Find the crux,Heal up will medicine arrived a disease.GuoYuanPeng

　　三言两语

In a few words

　　儿嫌父丑羞相问，父怕子学不如人。

Son too father ugly to shame phase asked,Father afraid of electronics is inferior to a person.

　　王耀军

WangYaoJun

　　这个儿子一定是有某些苦衷的，他可能也就是一个刚刚挤进城市并且还没站稳脚跟的年轻人，假如他一切事情都能玩转，怎么忍心让自己的老父亲受这份儿苦呢？老父亲如果真的要怪，那就怪儿子没出息吧，可千万不要轻易怀疑儿子没良心。

This son must be have some of the difficulties,He may also is a just squeeze into city and haven't gain a firm foothold of young people,If he can play everything,How to have the heart to let his old father suffered this whack bitter?Old father if really want to blame,That's weird son's good for nothing,But don't easily doubt son did not conscience.

　　杜明骏

DuMingJun

　　从表面上看，嫌农村父母丢人，是一个价值观的问题，有没有良心的问题；但是从根本上看，这其实是一个城乡差别的问题。是什么原因，造成了农村的贫困落后，是什么原因，使多数农民迄今为止仍然没有能力融入城市。

On the face of it,Don't think rural parents a disgrace,Is a values of the problem,Have a heart problem;But fundamentally to see,This is actually a gap between urban and rural areas of the problem.Is what reason,Caused by the poverty and backwardness of rural areas,Is what reason,Make most farmers so far still have no ability to melt into the city.

　　娄献忠

LouXianZhong

　　所谓知识改变命运，充其量只能有限地改善一点自身的生存环境。而留在农村的父母，不要说想得到城里儿女的多大接济，就是想进城看望一下孙子，也没有钱，或者说也舍不得花钱置办一身多少齐整一点的行头。

The so-called knowledge change destiny,Most can be limited to improve a little their own living environment.And stay on the parents,Don't say want children to put the city how much,Just want to went into town to visit a grandson,Also does not have the money,Or also hate to part with beautiful money stock up on a neat how much a wardrobe.

　　孙建伟

SunJianWei

　　从儿子的这种冷漠行为中，可不可以说这个儿子忘恩负义、铁石心肠？世上还有比他更心狠更没良心的儿子吗？我想，无论一个父亲再怎么寒酸，再怎么贫穷，他始终都是你的父亲，那是扯不断的血缘，他带给你生命，又有养育之恩，无论你今生怎么做都是难以报答的。

This kind of indifference from the son of behavior,Would you say that the son ingratitude/Heart of stone?There are more cruel than his more conscienceless son?I want to,Whether a father again how poor,Again how poor,He is all of your father,That's tear continuous blood,He bring you life,And beholden,Whatever you do in this life is difficult to repay.

　　庞凤山

PangFengShan

　　在一个功利化的社会环境里，如果作为儿女的我们，连自己农村父亲来城里看看自己孙子的权利都被剥夺，那将是这个社会莫大的悲哀和不幸。这种超越亲情至爱的功利化影响也太具杀伤力了吧。未来，别说养儿防老了，就是养儿抱孙都变成了一种奢望。

In a utilitarian social environment,If as children we,Even his father come to city rural look at their grandson's rights are deprived of,That will be the social great sorrow and misfortune.This beyond love beloved utilitarian influence also too lethality now.The future,Don't say the and,He is a son embrace has become a luxury.

　　赵梦仆

ZhaoMeng servant