借来的自由 Borrowed free

　　“每一天，我都在酝酿着叛逃。”马啸这样回忆自己的大学时光。

"Every day,I have in the ferment defected."MaXiao such recall his college days.

　　马啸的宿舍住着一位“诗人”，他是另一个地级市领导的孩子。“诗人”本想读中文，马啸本想学主持，他们很快成为了兄弟。老马偶尔会来看马啸，每次来时都会请同宿舍的舍友吃饭。马啸知道，“这是他在帮我织网。蜘蛛的强大，从不在于自己比其他昆虫多出来的脚，而在于那张绵密、细致的蛛网。”

MaXiao dormitory lived a"The poet",He is another locally administratered level leadership of the children."The poet"This want to read Chinese,MaXiao presided over this want to learn,They soon became brothers.Jade occasionally to see MaXiao,Come every time will please chummery roommates dinner.MaXiao know,"This is he help me mesh.Spider's strong,Never in his more than other insects out feet,But in that piece of fine and careful/Meticulous web."

　　临近毕业，老马就帮儿子安排好了工作，回到市里法院的执法队或者公安局。

Near graduation,Jade is arranged for son work,Back to the city court ZhiFaDui or public security bureau.

　　“诗人”的父亲也给儿子做了类似的安排，但“诗人”拒绝了，他要报名参加大学中文系的自学考试。“诗人”的选择对马啸的冲击很大，他想起了自己被搁置的“男主播”梦。

"The poet"Father and son to do a similar arrangement,but"The poet"refused,He wants to sign up for the department of Chinese language &literature university self-study exam."The poet"The choice of the MaXiao a great impact,He thought of himself on the shelf"Male anchor"dream.

　　那年直到六月底，马啸还没有回家，也没有带回学校发的毕业生就业三方协议书。老马急了，一天数个电话追问儿子什么时候回来，他已经为儿子打点好，马啸回来就能进法院的执法队，“比做公安更安全”。

That year until the end of June,MaXiao haven't go home,No back to school hair of graduate employment tripartite agreement.Nag nasty,One day a few phone ask son when you come back,He has gotten ready as a son,MaXiao back can into court ZhiFaDui,"As the public security more safety".

　　马啸不得不说实话了，他在电话里告诉了老马不回家工作的决定。老马大怒，声音在听筒里轰鸣，“要是现在不回来，你以后也别回来”。挂掉电话，马啸一夜未眠，他不知道这个决定是对是错，他已经习惯去走父亲安排好的道路，一旦要自己拐上另外一条小路，既犹疑又兴奋。那天，老马也没睡，挂了电话就找来自己的司机，开着夜车在次日一早赶到了警官学校。

MaXiao had to the truth,He is on the phone told nag don't go home work decision.Nag rage,Voice in the earpiece roar,"If it does not come back,You later don't come back".Off the phone,MaXiao sleepless night,He didn't know this was the right decision is wrong,He is used to go father arrangement good road,Once turn to yourself in another path,Both hesitantly and excited.That day,Nag also didn't sleep,Hung up the phone will find their own driver,Open night train in the next morning to the police officer school.

　　父子见面，马啸一字一顿地说出“你让我自己闯闯”。之后，任凭老马说什么、骂什么，都不回一句话，只是呆呆地看着窗外离校的毕业生和卖旧货的跳蚤市场。

Father and son meet,MaXiao say a word"You make my own chuang chuang".after,Let jade say/Scold what,All don't return a word,Just gawk window school-leaving graduates and sell junk flea market.

　　老马第一次被儿子打败了，他无奈地同意了儿子继续参加自考，工作或者不工作都可以，并提出最好去学法律。之后，他赶回到自己熟悉的城市，打点被儿子“放了鸽子”的各种关系。

Jade was first son beat,He reluctantly agreed to a son to take an examination of oneself,Work or not work can be,And put forward the best to study law.after,He back into your familiar city,Dotting be son"Put pigeons"Various relations.

　　马啸则和“诗人”一起留在太原，拿着老马的钱在学校外边租了房子，买回考试指导用书。由于省内本科院校还没有开设播音主持的自考考试，他选择了关系较近的新闻学。

MaXiao is and"The poet"Stay taiyuan,With a nag money in school outside rent the house,Buy back the examination instruction book.Due to the provincial universities and colleges of undergraduate course have not set up broadcasting and hosting take an examination of oneself exam,He chose close journalism.

　　自学考试一年最多可以考8门专业课，取得自考毕业证最快的时间是两年。获得自由的马啸，第一次铆足了劲儿用功考试。两年半之后，他顺利地拿到了自考本科文凭。马啸知道，老马在背后也下了工夫，父亲在教委的关系一定程度上帮助了自己，“至少是在论文答辩上”。

Self-study exam a year most can take an examination of 8 specialized course,From tests the graduation card has the fastest time is two years.Free MaXiao,The first riveting foot strength the son hard test.After two and a half years,He successfully got from tests the undergraduate course diploma.MaXiao know,Jade behind the time also,The relationship between the father in the education commission to a certain extent, help yourself,"At least in the thesis".

　　拿到文凭，马啸开始和“诗人”一起计划未来。去北京，是他们的第一选择。这个决定让老马十分窝火，但他知道儿子主意已定后，要马啸答应他一个条件：可以在北京发展五年，好坏全靠自己；期间，家里不会再给马啸任何资助；五年之后，如果马啸的户口、编制、住房没有得到解决，就要接受父亲的安排，回家工作。

Get the diploma,MaXiao beginning and"The poet"Plans for the future together.Go to Beijing,Is their first choice.The decision to nag very irritated,But he know son after mind up,To MaXiao promised him a condition:Can the development of Beijing in five years,Good or bad all by oneself;period,Home won't give MaXiao any funding;After five years,If MaXiao registered permanent residence/establishment/Housing not solved,Shall accept the arrangement of the father,Home work.

　　马啸答应了，五年啊，他相信自己会拥有一切。拿着从父亲借来的自由，他踏上了去往北京的列车。

MaXiao promised,Five years!,He believed he would have it all.Take the freedom of borrowed from his father,He set foot on the train to Beijing.

　　

失败了的赌约 Failed bet

　　2006年2月3日，大年初六，马啸站在了北京西站北广场上。他投奔了已经在北京工作的“诗人”，两人在阜石路玉海园小区租了一套两居室，房租每月1600元。“诗人”没有做诗人，成为了北京一家图书出版公司的图书编辑。马啸初去时，这家公司正需要人，因为有熟人介绍，马啸面试很快就通过了。

On February 3, 2006,Annual people,MaXiao stood in the Beijing west railway station BeiGuang field.He has been to the working in Beijing"The poet",Two people in caruncle stone road jade sea garden plot rented a two bedrooms,The rent 1600 yuan a month."The poet"Didn't do poets,Become a Beijing book publishing company of books editor.Early MaXiao to,The company is needed,Because have the acquaintance is introduced,MaXiao interview soon passed.

　　马啸在这家公司的最初职务是营销编辑。这个职位地位微妙：不负责具体的选题执行，但参与选题的策划；不直接承担发行回款任务，但会为渠道销售做全程的营销规划和服务。在专业出版社中，营销编辑还要负责某一类图书的专项推广。这是一份需要经验的工作。

MaXiao in the company's initial position is the marketing editor.This position position subtle:Not responsible for the selection of the specific implementation,But subject to participate in the planning;Not directly take issue collection targets,But will the channel sales marketing plan and service.In the professional in the press,Marketing editor also for one kind of books special promotion.This is a need to experience of work.

　　初来乍到的马啸尚未在北京建立起广阔的人际关系，除了“诗人”，他几乎没有朋友。警官学校的同学大多都回到地方政法系统。长达半年多的时间里他只有每月1800元的基本工资，业务提成约为0。交完房租、水电之后，口袋里还有不到1000块钱。马啸算过，这些钱就算都存下来，一年以后，也只能购买北京1.5平方米的房子。

MaXiao newcomers has not yet been in Beijing set up broad interpersonal relationship,In addition to"The poet",He has few friends.Police officer school students mostly returned to the place where the politics and law system.For more than 6 months of the time he is only 1800 yuan a month's basic salary,Business commission is about 0.After paying the rent/After hydropower,Pocket with less than 1000 dollars.MaXiao calculate,These money even if all save,A year later,Also can buy Beijing 1.5 square meters of the house.

　　日子在维持中向前，播音的梦渐行渐远。来北京的第三年，随着人脉的积累，马啸开始独立做图书策划，经手的几本图书也有了不错的销量。马啸开始向老马报喜，但老马对儿子这份没有编制、不解决住房、待遇和公务员相差甚远的工作却完全不看好。

Days in maintain forward,Broadcast dream tapering off.The third year come to Beijing,With the accumulation of contacts,MaXiao began to independent do books planning,Handle of a few books also had good sales.MaXiao began to nag annunciation,But to old son this without preparation/Don't solve housing/Treatment and civil servants a far cry from what work do not value.

　　2010年，马啸来北京的第四年，由于业绩良好，他获得了一次升职做主管的机会。抓住这个机会，不止是职业平台的扩展，待遇也会升档。马啸踌躇满志，自己是这个位置的最佳人选，他提前把好消息告诉了老马。但没想到的是，在最后时刻，他失败了，“职位最后给了副社长推荐的人，是上边的关系”。马啸并不清楚，哪里是上边，但这次失利却令他心生挫败，“或许，老马是对的，这是一个没有关系寸步难行的时代，就像我曾挤掉别人一样，报应终于来了”。

In 2010,,MaXiao to Beijing's fourth year,Due to the good performance,He won a promotion do supervisor's opportunity.Seize this opportunity to,More than is the expansion of the professional platform,Treatment will also shift up.MaXiao complacent,He is the best person for this position,His early told the happy news to nag.But I didn't know it is,At the last moment,He failed,"Position finally to the vice President to recommend,Is the relationship between the above".MaXiao is not clear,Where is the top,But this time defeat but to his mind frustrated,"perhaps,Nag is right,This is a no relationship between the era of stuck,Like I had edge out others,Karma is finally here".

　　升职事件后，马啸的事业开始停滞不前，老马的耐心也已消耗殆尽。虽然，那一年马啸的工资多时能有一万左右，少时也有五六千元，但北京的繁华地带房价却已突破三万大关，租住的玉海园小区也在不断涨价，曾经的两居室已经涨到了3200元每月。

Promotion event after,MaXiao career began to stagnant,Jade patience has consumed.although,That year MaXiao wages long to have around ten thousand,For a little while also have 56000 yuan,But Beijing's bustling zone house prices have hit the thirty thousand mark,Lodges jade sea garden plot is also in constant prices,The two bedrooms of once had gone up to 3200 yuan per month.

　　没房、没车、没编制……2011年，老马下了最后通牒，“赶紧回家，法院系统的招考要开始了”。

No room/Don't have a car/Didn't prepare……In 2011,,Jade an ultimatum,"Hastened home,Court system to admit by examination began".

　　是坚持，还是回家？从老马下达命令的那天就折磨着马啸，他一直拖着，拖到2011年7月，距离与父亲的约定还有半年的时候，考试的前三天，回家了。那场考试，马啸顺利达线了。五人进入复试，只招收一人，老马的关系让马啸成了那个幸运的“分子”。这一次，他扮演的角色和“副社长推荐的人”，一模一样。

Is to stick to,Or home?From the day of old orders will afflict MaXiao,He has been dragged,Until July 2011,Distance and father's agreement and half a year's time,Three days before the exam,home.The test,MaXiao smooth of line.Five people into the retrial,Recruits only one,The relationship between the old horse let MaXiao become the lucky"molecular".This time,He plays the role and"Vice President to recommend",The same.

　　在职位公示期间，马啸回到北京，辞去工作、退掉房子，只是心里仍旧不甘心。于是，临走的雨夜，他买了8000块钱彩票，做最后的一搏，他失败了。

In position during the public,MaXiao back to Beijing,Resigned from his job/Return a house,Just heart still not voluntarily.so,Just before leaving rainy night,He bought 8000 yuan lottery,Do the last stroke,He failed.

　　现在，每天早上8点，马啸就要赶到法院。虽然比北京的工作时间提前一个小时，可这里的工作要轻松很多。马啸的办公室有一半的空间摆放着收纳柜，里面是各类刑事、民事案件的卷宗，泛黄的与崭新的；另一半的空间是一起共事的三个同事，都是四五十岁的中年人，面前都摆放着一杯茶水、一份报纸。

now,At eight every morning,MaXiao will arrived at the court.Although compared to Beijing's working time an hour early,But this work to much easier.MaXiao office half of the space is putting to receive ark,The inside is all kinds of criminal/Civil case file,Yellowing and new;The other half space is working with three colleagues,Is forty or fifty years old middle-aged person,Before putting a cup of tea/A newspaper.

　　在这里，马啸一天也开口说不了几句话，时间像静水般缓慢，翻翻卷宗、写写文件，时间却又悄无声息地溜走了，“回来半年多，我知道自己老了”。

here,MaXiao day also say not a few words,Time like still water, slowly,Flip volume/Write file,Time the but again quietly away,"Back more than half a year,I know I'm old".

　　马啸知道，在别人眼中，他就是那个所谓的“既得利益者”，那是他一直想逃避的角色。只要闲下来，他就会想一个问题，“如果老马不能为我铺垫前程，对我是幸还是不幸？如果世上没有关系一说，自由是不是就能公平地生长？如果，那个雨夜我中了大奖，北京是不是就能属于我？”

MaXiao know,In others eyes,He is the so-called"Vested interest",Is that he always wants to escape character.As long as spare,He'll want to a problem,"If jade not for my future foreshadowing,For me it is happiness or unfortunately?If there is no relationship said,Freedom is can fairly growth?if,The rainy night I won the lottery,Beijing is to belong to me?"

　　直到现在，老马也不知道那8000元钱彩票的故事，那是马啸自己的一个不大不小的秘密。他永远不会忘记自己选的那组特别号码“02、03、06、09、11、27、04”意为“2006年2月3日，来到北京；2011年9月27日，离开北京，5年时光有4年很快乐。”那是只有他读得懂的密码。

Until now,Jade also don't know that 8000 yuan lottery story,That is MaXiao own a little secret.He will never forget the group choose their own special number"02/the/06/09/11/and/the"meaning"On February 3, 2006,Came to Beijing;On September and, 2011,Left Beijing,Five years have 4 years very happy."That is only he read the password.