父母对待孩子无外乎三种情况：一是事事管、时时管，做了很多事，效果却不好；二是什么都不管，什么都不做，放任自流，不闻不问，结果更不好；三是也管但不全管，做得不多，但都切中要害，孩子成长一帆风顺。杰出的父母从来都选择“有所为有所不为”，更明确地说，只做三件事。

Parents treat children outside notting have three kinds of cases:One is everything tube/Always tube,Did a lot of things,Effect is not;The second is what all no matter,Don't do anything,Let slide,dead,Results more bad;The third is also tube but not all pipe,Do much,But hit the nail on the head,Children who grow up in a plain sailing.Outstanding parents never choose"Something to do it",More specifically,Only do three things.

　　第一件事：培养良好的亲子关系

The first thing:Cultivate good parentage

　　好的关系胜过许多教育。父母什么时候与孩子关系好，对孩子的教育就容易成功；什么时候与孩子关系不好，对孩子的教育就容易失败。而建立良好的亲子关系，其关键在于“定位”：

A good relationship is better than many education.When parents and children relationship,In children's education is easy to succeed;When with the child relationship,In children's education is prone to failure.And build good parentage,The key is to"positioning":

　　1、不当“法官”，学做“律师”

1/improper"The judge",Learning how to do"lawyer"

　　有些父母看到孩子出了问题，便迫不及待地当起了“法官”，这是很危险的。

Some parents see their children out of the question,He can't wait to when up"The judge",This is very dangerous.

　　孩子的内心世界丰富多彩，父母要积极地影响与教育孩子，不了解其内心世界便无从谈起。而了解孩子的第一要诀是呵护其自尊，维护其权利，成为其信赖和尊敬的朋友。

The child's inner world rich and colorful,Parents will positively influence and education child,I don't understand its inner world will not talk about.And know the child's first gist is care for their self-esteem,Safeguard its rights,Become the trust and respect of friends.

　　即父母对待孩子，要像“律师”对待自己的当事人一样，了解其内心需求，并始终以维护其合法权利为惟一宗旨。

That parents with children,like"lawyer"Treat yourself as parties,Understand the inner demand,And always in order to maintain the legal rights for the only purpose.

　　2、不当“裁判”，学做“拉拉队”

2/improper"referee",Learning how to do"cheerleaders"

　　在人生竞技场，孩子只能自己去努力。父母既无法替代孩子，也不该自作主张去当“裁判”，而应该给予孩子一种保持良好竞技状态的力量，即“拉拉队”的力量。这样更能帮助孩子建立自信心，而这正是家庭教育的核心任务。

In the arena of life,Children can only yourself to hard.Parents can not be replaced both children,Also shouldn't own to go when"referee",But should give children a good competitive state power,namely"cheerleaders"strength.So more can help children establish self-confidence,And this is the central task of family education.

　　父母做孩子的“拉拉队”，既要善于发现和赞美孩子，还要引导孩子正确面对失败，在挫折前做孩子的战友。

The parents to do the children"cheerleaders",Both should be good at discovering and praise to children,To guide the children correctly face failure,In the setbacks before the child's brother.

　　3、不当“驯兽师”，学做“镜子”

3/improper"trainer",Learning how to do"mirror"

　　孩子只有认识自己才能战胜自己，但他们通常只能依据他人的反馈来认识自己，这时父母的“反馈”作用即镜子的作用就很重要了。

The child only know yourself to overcome ourselves,But they usually can according to other people's feedback to know himself,Then the parents"feedback"Action is the role of the mirror is very important.

　　不做“驯兽师”，学做“镜子”，才能帮助孩子提高自我意识，才能让孩子不害怕父母的“权威”，转而和父母沟通。

Don't do"trainer",Learning how to do"mirror",To help my child to improve self consciousness,Can let the child not afraid of their parents"authority",To communicate with their parents.

　　教育是三分教，七分等。“等一等”是很有用的。比如我们被蚊子叮一下，不管它，很快就会没事，若总去挠，却要很长时间才能好。原因就是人体有一定的自我治愈功能，被蚊子叮一下自己很快就会好，施加外力只会适得其反。

Education is three teaching,Seven classification."wait"Is very useful.For example we were mosquito bite,Whether it,It will be all right soon,If the total to scratch,But a long time to good.Reason is that the human body has certain self heal function,Bitten by mosquitoes yourself will be ok soon,External force imposed counterproductive.

　　教育也是这个道理。停下来，等一等，给孩子倾诉的机会，和孩子有效地沟通，不用教育就能解决问题。

Education is also the reason why.stop,wait,Give the child the chance to talk,And children communicate effectively,Don't education can solve a problem.

　　第二件事：培养孩子的良好习惯

The second thing:Develop the child's good habits

　　习惯决定孩子的命运，再也没有什么比习惯养成更重要了。父母如果不注重培养孩子的良好习惯，无疑是在葬送孩子美好的未来。

Used to determine the fate of their children,Nothing is more important than habits.Parents if you don't pay attention to cultivate children's good habits,In children is undoubtedly the ruin of a better future.

　　1、一切从习惯培养开始

1/Everything from habit training began

　　养成教育是管一辈子的教育。智育是良好的思维习惯，德育是细小的行为习惯，素质教育更加体现在人的细小的行为上。

Nurturance education is tube lifetime of education.Intellectual education is a good thinking habit,Moral education is the tiny behavior habits,Quality education more reflected in people's tiny behavior.

　　大量事实证明，习惯是一种顽强的力量，可以主宰人的一生。孩子的一切都从习惯培养开始。

A large number of facts prove,Habit is a kind of tenacious strength,Can dominate the whole of one's life.The child's everything from habit training began.

　　2、习惯养成绝非一日之功

2/Habits is not built in a day

　　习惯是个大问题，是大智慧。良好习惯的养成绝非一日之功，其主要原则是：低起点，严要求，小步子，快节奏，多活动，求变化，快反馈，勤矫正。

Habit is a big problem,Is big wisdom.Good habits is not built in a day,Its main principle is:Low starting point,Strict requirement,The small steps,Fast rhythm,Many activities,For change,Quick feedback,Frequently correction.

　　习惯养成关键在头三天，决定在一个月。父母要充分尊重孩子的权利，让孩子在习惯养成中发挥主人作用。

Habits key in the first three days,Decision in a month.Parents should fully respect the rights of the child,Let your children play master habits effect.

　　3、通过习惯培养铸造品格

3/Through the habits casting character

　　教育犹如海上行船，必须按正确的航线行驶，否则，船越大越有触礁沉没的危险。

Education is like sea sail a boat,Must follow the correct route driving,otherwise,The more the greater the ship on the rocks in danger of sinking.

　　人的品质，决定了人的发展方向。家庭教育的一个核心任务就是培养孩子成为一个真正的人。但人格的培养问题通常很难落实到具体操作上来。

People's quality,Decide the development direction of the people.Family education of a core task is to train the children to be a real person.But the cultivation of personality problem is often difficult to carry out to the specific operation up.

　　不过，研究者发现，习惯与人格相辅相成，习惯影响人格，人格更会影响习惯。正派、诚实、责任心、爱心、合作精神、讲究效率等品格都可以通过习惯培养来铸造第三件事：引导孩子学会学习

but,The researchers found that,Habit and personality supplement each other,Habits affect personality,Personality more affect habits.decent/honest/responsibility/love/Cooperation spirit/Pay attention to efficiency and character can through the habits to casting the third thing:Guide your child to study

　　第三件事：吸引孩子热爱学习、引导孩子学会学习是父母的一项重要职责，也是父母的真正魅力所在。

The third thing:To attract children love to learn/Guide your child to study is an important duty of the parents,Parents also is the real charm.

　　1、孩子厌学是有原因的

1/The child was tired of learning is a reason

　　放任不管，任其潇洒；乱管瞎管，种瓜得豆；唠叨数落，肆意打骂；代替包办，制造“机器”……父母若采取如此种种不明智的做法，只会使孩子越来越不爱学习。

Laissez faire no matter,As its natural and unrestrained;Disorderly tube meddling,Kind of melon fruit;Nagging grumble,Is wanton beat and scold;Instead of package,manufacturing"machine"……If parents to take such a variety of unwise,Will only make children do not love learning more and more.

　　孩子不爱学习只是表面现象，背后一定有原因：是没有养成良好的学习习惯？是没有找到孩子最擅长的方面？是没有科学用脑？是父母阻碍了孩子的“玩中学”的天性？是孩子没有意识到学习是他自己的事情……找到背后的原因，才可能帮助孩子走出厌学的阴影。

Children do not love learning just surface phenomenon,There must be some reason behind:There is no form a good habit of studying?The child is not found the best aspects?There is no brain science?In the child's parents"Playing high school"nature?Is the child didn't realize that learning is his own things……Find the reason behind,Just may help children out of the shadow of the school.

　　2、孩子的求知欲和学习潜能是可以激发的

2/The child's thirst for knowledge and learning potential can be excited

　　孩子缺乏求知欲，通常不是父母的影响或者严格要求不够，而是阻塞了孩子的兴趣。

The child lack the thirst for knowledge,Parents are usually not the influence of the strict requirements or not,But blocking the child's interest.

　　兴趣(好奇心)、梦想、成就感、质疑、感恩、发奋、发愤等都是疏通和启发孩子求知欲的通道。而对于孩子来说，所谓竞争优势就是潜能得到有效的开发而已。心情、开窍、暗示、遐想、激励、计划是激发孩子学习潜能的六大原则。

interest(curiosity)/dream/achievement/question/gratitude/arouse/Push oneself is unblocked and inspire children thirst for knowledge of the channel.And for children,The so-called competitive advantage is the potential development to be effective only.mood/Begin to understand/Suggest that/daydream/incentive/Plan to inspire children learning potential of the six principles.

　　潜能开发虽没有绝对的“时间表”，但也有步骤，比如建立目标、控制情绪、磨砺意志、专注于一点等都是非常重要的。

Potential development is not absolutely"schedule",But also we,Such as establishing goals/Control mood/Honed will/Focus on point is very important.

　　3、孩子考第一是有方法的

3/The child take an examination of the first is a method

　　“爱学”是“会学”的前提，而“会学”是“爱学”的保证，“会学”才能“学好”。

"Love to learn"is"Will learn"premise,and"Will learn"is"Love to learn"guarantee,"Will learn"can"learn".

　　孩子要想考第一，必须要掌握一些具有决定性作用的好方法，如：按计划完成、认真写字、慢慢看课本、整理错题、随手笔记、无私帮助同学、高效率考试、自由自在地作文等。

Children will want to take an examination of the first,Must want to master some has the decisive role of good method,if:Completed as scheduled/Carefully write/Slowly see textbooks/Finishing the wrong topic/With notes/Selfless help students/High efficiency test/Free to composition, etc.

　　现在很多父母在教育孩子的问题上步入了一个新的误区，即盲信盲从甚至痴迷于所谓成功教子的家教经验，但这些经验听着容易，做起来难。因为它们没有“可迁移性”，如果只是一味的克隆、模仿，不但不能落实到自己孩子的身上，反而容易“邯郸学步”，适得其反。

Now a lot of parents in education children into a new error,Namely fanatic follow blindly even crazy about success godson of tutor experience,But these experiences listen easily,It difficult.Because they have no"mobility",If just clone/imitation,Not only can't fulfil their children's body,But easy to"Toddler handan",backfire.

　　最有用的真东西是需要静下心来思考、提炼的。教育孩子并没有父母想像的那样复杂，抓好了亲子关系、习惯培养、学习这三件大事，父母成为杰出的父母，孩子成为杰出的孩子，就都不是遥远的梦幻了。

The most useful true thing need to calm down to think about/Refining of.Education and children without their parents think that complicated,Paid special attention to the parent-child relationship/habits/Studying the three great thing,Parents become outstanding parents,The child to become an outstanding children,It is not far away the dream.