朱永新：父母是最容易犯错的老师

ZhuYongXin:Parents are the most likely to make mistakes teacher

　　一卷遮百丑，只要分数好，其他都可以做手脚

A roll of covering the ugly,Scores are good as long as,Other can play a trick

　　家庭教育非常重要，这已经成了教育界的共识。

Family education is very important,It has become the consensus of education.

　　民进中央副主席兼秘书长朱永新在一次家庭教育论坛上进一步指出，人生有四个重要的场所：第一个场所是母亲的子宫，胎儿在那里吸收母亲的营养，感受母体的气息，通过母亲来感受外部世界的变化，所以说家庭教育实际上在母亲的子宫里就开始了；第二个场所是家庭，人的第一声啼哭是人生的第一个独立宣言，这个时候人和外部世界的交流，主要是通过家庭来进行的，因此家庭是人离开母体以后一个非常重要的场所；第三个是教室，要缔造完美的教室，让孩子健康成长。不过，孩子从教室、学校离开还是要回到家庭；第四个场所是职场，人在这里要拼搏，有很多事情要处理，但是，职场累了还是要回家。

Vice President and secretary general of the central committee of the China ZhuYongXin in a family education BBS further pointed out,Life has four important place:The first place is the mother's womb,Fetal there mother absorption of nutrition,Feel the breath of matrix,Through the mother to feel the change of the outside world,So says the family education is actually in the mother's womb began;The second place is the family,The first sound of people crying is life's first declaration of independence,This time and the outside world communication,Mainly by the family to,So the family is a man from parent after a very important place;The third is the classroom,To create the perfect classroom,Let the children healthy growth.but,The child from the classroom/Leave school or to return to the family;The fourth place is workplace,People here to hard work,There are a lot of things to deal with,but,Workplace tired or want to go home.

　　“所以，家庭是人生永远离不开的一个场所，是人生最重要的一个港湾，最温馨的一个港湾。人生从这里出发，人生将回到这里。”朱永新说。

"so,The family is life always cannot leave a place,Life is one of the most important port,The most warm a harbor.Life starting from here,Life will return to here."ZhuYong opinions.

　　朱永新同时指出，家庭教育确实重要，但是“家庭是最容易出错的地方，父母是最容易犯错的老师”。

ZhuYongXin also pointed out,Family education really important,but"The family is the most easy to go wrong place,Parents are the most likely to make mistakes teacher".

童年的秘密还远远没有被发现 The secret of my childhood is still far from has not been found

　　为什么儿童的秘密没有被发现？

Why children's secret was not found?

　　“如果被发现了的话，我们的教育不会如此。”朱永新说，儿童对我们来说是一个黑匣子。对儿童的喜怒哀乐、儿童情感的形成、习惯的形成，儿童时期对人一生具有什么样的意义，我们并不是很清楚，科学研究还没有到达能够揭示儿童秘密的时代。因为教育科学的两大基础生命学和心理学还没有成熟。

"If the word is found,Our education would not be so."ZhuYong opinions,Children for us is a black box.On children's laughter, anger, sorrow and happiness/The formation of children's emotion/Habit formation,Childhood life for people with what kind of meaning,We are not very clear,Scientific research haven't reached the age children can reveal the secret.Because the education science and the two major basis biotics and psychology is not mature.

　　朱永新介绍，托尔斯泰曾经说，孩子自出生到5岁，在智慧、情感、意志和性格诸方面从周围世界中摄取的，要比他5岁之后所摄取的多许多倍。这就说明家庭教育的重要性，说明了5岁前家庭教育的意义。

ZhuYongXin introduced,Tolstoy once said,Children from birth to five years old,Wisdom in the/emotional/The will and character from around the world in the intake,More than 5 years after the intake to many times.This means that the importance of family education,Before the age of five illustrates the significance of family education.

　　“童年不是未来生活的准备期，而是一段真正的、独特的、光彩夺目的、不可再现的生活。”朱永新说，孩子将来会成为什么样的人，起决定作用的是他的童年。

"Childhood is not a future life chrysalis,But a real/unique/jewelly/Do not reproduce life."ZhuYong opinions,The child will become what kind of person,Playing a decisive role in his childhood.

　　苏霍姆林斯基在《育人三部曲》中说：人的性格、思维、语言都在学龄前和学龄初期形成。童年本身就是人非常重要的时期，人的任何一个时期都不是仅仅为今后一个时期作准备的，童年本身对人来说具有特别的意义。因为孩子进学校以前，其认知风格、行为习惯、情感态度甚至于价值，都已经初步形成了。学校只是起到改造和进一步校正的作用，进一步帮助孩子成长。

In SuHuoM LinSiJi[Education trilogy]said:character/thinking/Language in preschool and school-age initial formation.Childhood itself is a very important period,Any of a period is not only a period for the future is prepared,Childhood itself for people with special significance.Because the child go to school before,The cognitive style/behavior/Emotional attitude even value,Has been initially formed.The school is just a reform and further correction action,Further help children to grow up.

家庭教育方向不一致使儿童无所适从 Family education direction the children are not know what to do

　　要考驾照才能开车，这是一个社会常识。“然而，做父母却不要任何‘证’就可以了。做父母比开车要复杂100倍、1000倍！”朱永新说，一个孩子从生理到心理再到养育方式是一门大学问。“但是，我们竟然不需要接受任何培训就可以做父母了，这不公平。”

To a driver's license to drive,This is a social sense."however,Do parents but not any‘card’Can the.Do parents to drive more than 100 times more complicated/1000 times!"ZhuYong opinions,A child from physical to psychological to raise the way is a university asked."but,We don't need to accept any training can do parents,It's not fair."

　　确实，如果一个社会到处都是无证驾驶的司机，那么这个社会一定是危险的，如果父母都没有经过培训，那么这样的父母在教育孩子的过程中也会有不少弯路要走，在教育上“走弯路”对一个孩子的一生来说无疑是非常危险的。

really,If a society was full of unlicensed drivers,So the society must be dangerous,If the parents are not trained,Such parents in education in the process of children will have a lot of curve road to go,In the education on"detours"For a child's life certainly is very dangerous.

　　正因为我们的社会缺少对父母的培训，因此家庭教育中存在着很多问题，其中一个非常重要的问题是家庭教育方向的不一致。

Because of our society lack of parents' training,So the family education there are a lot of problems,One of the very important problem is the direction of family education is not the same.

　　“家庭教育方向不一致使儿童无所适从。”朱永新说，由于过于关注成绩，现在学校的教育功能正在弱化，如果家庭教育的功能再不强化，那么，“这个社会和孩子就真的很危险。”

"Family education direction the children are not know what to do."ZhuYong opinions,Because of too much attention to performance,Now the school education function is weakening,If the family education function don't strengthen,so,"The social and the child is really dangerous."

父母是最容易犯错的老师 Parents are the most likely to make mistakes teacher

　　“人生有两次真正长大的机会，一次是成为父亲，一次是失去父亲。成为父亲，开始你对家庭肩负责任，对未来挑起重担；失去父亲以后，你所依赖的人走了，你的担子更重了。”朱永新说，父母对于孩子的影响非常大。父母不教育孩子，孩子会变坏，但是，如果父母用错误的方式教育孩子，孩子会变得更坏。

"Life had two real chance to grow up,One is to become a father,A father is lost.Become father,You start to family responsible,Up to the future burden;Lost after his father,You depend on left,Your burden heavier."ZhuYong opinions,The parents to the child the influence is very big.Parents don't education child,The child will go bad,but,If the parents in the wrong way education child,The child will become worse.

　　“家庭教育非常重要，但是父母也是最容易犯错的老师”，朱永新说，我们常常看到不少一年级孩子的父母，跟老师说的第一句话是“孩子就拜托给你了”，似乎意味着孩子跟自己没有关系了。事实上，无论孩子在哪里，总是离不开父母的影响和教育，甚至餐桌上的一句话都会折射在孩子的心理上。

"Family education is very important,But parents also is the most easy to make mistakes teacher",ZhuYong opinions,We often see a lot of first grade the child's parents,With the teacher said was the first thing"Children will come on to you",The child seems to mean with my doesn't matter.In fact,No matter where are the children,Always cannot leave the parents' influence and education,Even a word on the table will refraction in the child's psychological.

　　朱永新总结了在家庭教育中父母最容易犯的几个错误。

ZhuYongXin summarizes in the family education of parents is most likely to make some mistakes.

　　第一个是望子成龙。

The first one is used.

　　“望子成龙没有什么不好，哪个父母不这样？”朱永新说，问题出在标准上。

"Used to nothing,Which parents don't?"ZhuYong opinions,The problem in the standards.

　　大家都知道，每个孩子都是独特的不一样的，但是我们的教育用的却是同一个标准，即哈佛的标准、北大的标准、清华的标准，其实就是分数的标准。“第一名永远只有一个，你做第一，别人就做不了，几十个人就拼一个第一，那不是在互相残杀吗？”朱永新说，“事实上这个方向就错了。应该让孩子成为他自己，只有成为他自己，他才能生活得幸福，潜能才能得到发挥。”很多父母亲就用唯一的分数标准“压榨”孩子，最后，孩子生活中留下的只有悲伤。

Everyone knows that,Every child is unique not the same,But our education is the same with the standard,That is the standard of harvard/The standard of Peking University/The standard of tsinghua,Is actually score standard."The first always only one,You do the first,Others cannot do,Dozens of people will spell a first,It is not in killing one another?"ZhuYong opinions,"In fact this out in the wrong direction.Should let their children to be himself,Only to be himself,He can live happy,Potential can obtain the play."Many parents use only score standard"press"children,finally,Children left in life only sad.

　　父母要知道孩子最喜欢什么、最合适什么，这才是最重要的。

Parents want to know the children like best/What is the most appropriate,This is the most important.

　　第二个是重智轻德的功利化。

The second is heavy wisdom light's utilitarian.

　　现在我们的教育就是一卷遮百丑：只要分数好，其他都可以做手脚。在家里只要孩子考得好，奖励就来了，甚至告诉孩子不要把自己的学习方法教给其他的孩子，不要把自己的好书借给其他的孩子。孩子渐渐地变得越来越自私，越来越只关注自己，甚至对家人都不关注，“这样的孩子能走多远呢？如果教育不关注人的品格发展，这样的教育肯定走不远。”朱永新说。

Now our education is a roll of covering the ugly:Scores are good as long as,Other can play a trick.At home as long as the child does well,Reward is coming,Even tell kids not to put their own learning method to other children,Don't make your good books lend to other children.Children gradually becomes more and more selfish,Only more and more attention,Even for the family all don't pay attention to,"Such children can walk how far?If education don't pay more attention to person's character development,Such education must not far away."ZhuYong opinions.

　　第三个是家长没有和孩子一起成长。

The third is the parents did not grow together with the child.

　　朱永新指出，现在大多数的父母在成为父母之后，就没有成长的动力了，很多家长觉得自己在职场打拼已经够累了，回到家里又要做家务，没有精力和孩子一起成长，“而这样恰恰使孩子无法成长。”朱永新讲起去年7月在山东淄博遇到的一个爸爸的故事。

ZhuYongXin pointed out that,Now most of the parents after become parents,There is no growth momentum,Many parents feel played in the workplace is tired,Back to home and to do the housework,Didn't have the energy to grow together with the child,"And so the children can't grow."ZhuYongXin about last July in shandong zibo met a father's story.

　　这个爸爸是个企业家，工作非常忙，很少在晚上11点之前回家。后来孩子所在的学校参加了新教育实验，老师要求每天晚上进行亲子共读。为了跟儿子共同完成这个作业，这个爸爸减少了应酬，每天晚上8点钟回家，讲故事给孩子听。

The father is a entrepreneurs,Work very busy,Rarely in the evening go home before 11 o 'clock.Then the child in the school to take part in the new education experiment,The teacher asked the child to read every night.In order to finish the homework together with son,The father reduce the dinner party,At eight o 'clock every night to go home,Tell a story for children to listen to.

　　一段时间之后，孩子各方面的进步都非常明显。看到了孩子的进步后，爸爸也受到了激励并在亲子共读中体会到了自己成长的乐趣，于是他们共同坚持，到现在已经有5年了，一起读了165本书。“只要你给孩子播下善良的种子，经过漫长的岁月，这颗种子就会慢慢发芽。”

After a period of time,The children all aspects of progress is very obvious.See the child's progress after,Dad were inspired in parent-child and read the realized grow on your own fun,And together they insist on,It has been five years,Read 165 books together."As long as you give children sow good seed,Over a long period of years,The seed will sprout."

　　“好父母不应把教育孩子当做是枯燥的责任和义务，而应该当做是自己人生的一种乐趣和享受。只有享受教育的人，才能演绎教育的精彩。对于父母来说，要进入童年的“神秘之宫”，就必须在某种程度上变成一个孩子。只有这样，孩子们才不会把父母当成一个偶然闯进他们那个童话世界之门的人。”朱永新说。（记者 樊未晨 通讯员 纪小林）

"Good parents should not put education child as is boring responsibilities and obligations,And should be as is his life's a pleasure and enjoyment.Only enjoy education people,To deduce education wonderful.For parents, it,To enter the childhood"Mysterious palace",It must in some degree becomes a child.Only in this way,The children won't put the parents as a chance in the fairy tale world of the door of the man."ZhuYong opinions.(Reporters without JiXiaoLin reporter fan in the morning)