在国际文化交流的圈子里，他是青少年交流心得颇多的资深人士；在家庭教育的圈子里，他是父母们都爱找他要建议的杨老师。随着新书的出版，“懒爸”成了认识他的又一途径。忙爸爸大多也是懒爸爸，但这个“懒爸”与众不同。他把对女儿千千万万的爱化繁为简只留三条，称之为“懒哲学”。到底这是美其名曰实则偷懒，还是真高效实用举一反三。不妨走近“懒爸”杨峥，听听为什么“当爸爸，懒就对了”。

In the circle of international cultural exchange,He is senior youth exchange experience quite a lot;In the circles of family education,He is looking for his parents love to suggest the young teacher.With the publication of the book,"Lazy dad"Another way to become known him.Most busy my father is lazy father,But this"Lazy dad"different.He put the daughter to thousands of love change numerous for brief only three,Referred to as"Lazy philosophy".Whether this is euphemistically called actually lazy,Is really efficient practical lines.Might as well go near"Lazy dad"Yang Zheng,Listen to why"When dad,Lazy is a step in the right direction".

　　

良苦用心琢磨“懒”方法 Lantana, hone"lazy"methods

　　新华网：女儿安妮看了这本《好爸爸的懒哲学》后是什么感觉?

xinhua:Daughter Annie looked at this[Slacker philosophy, good father]After what is feeling?

　　杨峥：比我想象得平淡，她并没有很惊奇。这倒让我挺奇怪，因为小孩子都有争强好胜的特点，她也有。但她反而表现得很谦虚，觉得自己并不像书里写的那样好。每个小孩儿都有虚荣心，但是在她身上我还是挺高兴的，她不是爱虚荣的。

Yang Zheng:Dull than I had expected,She was not surprised.It makes me very strange,Because the child has the characteristics of the competitive,She also has.But instead, she is very modest,Think you is not as good as written in the book.Every child has a vanity,But I'm very happy to her,She is not love vanity.

　　新华网：是什么原因让你总结归纳这些方法，进而整理成书?

xinhua:What made you classifies these methods,In a book?

　　杨峥：首先，这套思路我一直就有。在安妮出生没多久我就意识到我可能会陪她的时间比较少，我就想怎么利用少量的时间，把我认为好的东西影响她。从这个角度，我就琢磨，然后慢慢有这个思路。

Yang Zheng:First of all,The ideas I've been there.Was born in Anne it wasn't long before I realized I could accompany her less,I was thinking how to use a small amount of time,I think good things affect her.From this Angle,I was thinking about,Then slowly with the train of thought.

　　另外，我从事的这个行业，无形中就会卷入很多家庭教育话题，得到的经验比较多。经常有父母们就家庭难题问我，我也总会想出一些类似于“儿童自己睡协会秘书长”的这些刁钻古怪却有效的招数来解决。

In addition,I engaged in this industry,Virtually will be involved in a lot of family education,Get more experience.Family problems often have parents asked me,I also think of something similar"Children sleep association secretary general"These tricky and effective way to solve.

　　第三，也是比较重要的一点，我发现一些家庭教育的理论跟我自己的实践差得太远。且不论那些伪专家、伪理论、商业化的东西，就说一些纯粹的理论，听起来无不都是正确的废话。而另一个极端，又是太细太繁琐的招数，就像儿童成长日记，这种父母类的书可以读，但借鉴起来很累，也不一定在自己孩子身上有效。

In the third,Is more important,I found some of the family education theory is poor too far with my own practice.Despite the ringers/Pseudo theory/Commercial things,He said some of pure theory,Nonsense sounds all right.And at the other extreme,Is too thin too cumbersome,Like a children's diary,The parents books can be read,But it's very tired to draw lessons from,May not be effective on their children.

　　我所有的这些思考能付诸于文字，机械工业出版社几位编辑也是功臣。其实刚开始这本书是从中西家庭教育的对比入手，比较学术化。是我写得也累，家长看得也累。后来我建议写一套“懒爸”系列，确实很多人对这个“懒”字感兴趣。书写到最后，也是为了对得起这个“懒”字，和四十分钟能读完的特别声明，我不得不痛苦的把两百多页的书删减到一百五十页左右。

I thought all of these can be put into words,Several mechanical industry publishing house editor is also credited with.Actually start the book from the contrast of Chinese and western family education,Comparison of academic.I wrote too tired,Parents also tired.Then I suggest to write one"Lazy dad"series,Do a lot of people on this"lazy"Interested in words.Writing at the end of the day,In order to live up to this"lazy"word,Special statement and 40 minutes to read,I have to put more than two hundred - page book cuts to about one hundred and fifty pages.

　　新华网：作为爸爸，除了“懒”其实还能看出很有成就感，这跟你方法的成功分不开，在您看来真正能在未来转化成孩子自己东西的教育形式是什么样的？

xinhua:As a father,In addition to"lazy"Actually also can feel a sense of accomplishment,This method's success with you,In your opinion can really something into its own in the future is what kind of education form?

　　杨峥：我认为书里说的这三个要素(有原则的责任感、积极主动的态度、正确的方式)已经足够了，并不像说给你66个建议，后面还跟着77个方法。尤其强调有原则的责任感，如果家长不注意，孩子就会无节制，很可能导致近期新闻里那样的恶性事件。

Yang Zheng:I think that says in the book of the three elements(With principle of sense of responsibility/ProThe active attitude/The right way)Is enough,Don't like saying 66 proposals for you,Behind also follow 77 method.Especially emphasizes the principle of sense of responsibility,If parents do not pay attention to,Children will be unrestrained,Likely contributed to the recent news that vicious incidents.

　　就像刚才提到的，可能有的孩子出了一本书，就会急急忙忙抱给同学看。但至少在上周我跟安妮的交流，她坚决不同意我把书拿到学校去。在这点上，如果没有有原则性的责任感去培养，很难做到。

As mentioned just now,May be some children out of a book,Will be in a hurry hold to the students.But at least in my communication with Annie last week,Her resolute don't agree with me take the books to school.At this point,If there is no principled as sense of responsibility to cultivate,It's hard to do.

　　另外，孩子这个阶段，成长二字最重要。谁都知道，拔苗助长式违背成长规律是不对的，那在性格上的培养，就要回归自然。

In addition,Children at this stage,Grow the word is the most important.Everyone knows that,Keep pulling type against growth pattern is wrong,That on personality cultivation,To return to nature.

　　

“懒爸”碰壁有成长 "Lazy dad"Hit a wall with growth

　　新华网：在教育孩子的过程中，家长常有体会，自己是在和孩子一起成长。你觉得你的成长在哪里？

xinhua:In the process of education child,Parents often feel,Themselves and children grow up together.Where do you think your growth?

　　杨峥：我先说个通俗意义上的，书里写到一个爸爸说的话“所谓和孩子一起成长，是一个自我再教育”。孩子问你一些问题，父母本能的要告诉他一个正确的方式，甚至告诉他的答案是因为自己以前曾经犯过错误的，而特别要告诫。所以我认为这是个反思的过程。

Yang Zheng:I say first one have the common sense,A father said his books"The so-called grow up with the children,Is a self re-education".Children ask you some questions,Parental instinct to tell him a right way,Even told him the answer because I have made mistakes,Specially to warning.So I think it is a reflection of the process.

　　就我来说，我希望让孩子从小把中西方的优点都吸收一些，也是为了让她不再走我的老路。我是在德国碰过壁的，就是书中提到的德国方法，无论我再怎么认为德国死板、德国笨，但最终我以为灵活的方法还是走到了传统面上，反而他们会在“死板”之下产生特别的创意。两国的差异让我有深深的体会，等于是在教育孩子之前，我已经被社会教育。书里有一点说到，家庭教育可以没有惩罚，学校教育是有规则的惩罚，但到了社会教育会毫不留情，让你头破血流。在这之前，我其实倡导孩子吃一点苦受一点磨砺，希望培养孩子可以自己把握止损点，遇事有一个合情合理的安排。

As far as I'm concerned,I want to let the child have absorbed some advantages of Chinese and western,Also to let her not go my way.I am touched the wall in Germany,Is Germany method mentioned in the book,No matter how I think Germany rigid/Germany's stupid,But in the end I thought that flexible approach to the traditional surface,They will instead"rigid"Produced by a special originality.Let me have a deep realize the differences between the two countries,So before the education child,I have been the social education.There are a little said,Family education can not punishment,There are rules of the school education punishment,But in the social education without mercy,Let you grief.Before that,,I actually advocating children eat a bit bitter honed by point,Want to raise children can grasp the stop-loss point,They will have a reasonable arrangement.

　　新华网：工作也是和教育有关的，工作和生活肯定有相互借鉴的时候，效果如何？

xinhua:Work is also related to education,Work and life there must be from each other,How is the effect?

　　杨峥：这一点挺明显的，和别人不同的是，我还会想怎么解决。比如陪孩子时间少的情况下如何指导孩子，我就总结了那些“只不过”类型的爸爸，他们的爸爸也很忙，但孩子都成长得不错。再比如，在德国期间，他们死板的方法，第一觉让我觉得很可笑，第二觉得很可敬，第三觉得他们很可怕。所以我把他们一些方法结合中国人的优点灵活来运用。

Yang Zheng:It is quite obvious,Is different with others,I also want to how to solve.Under the condition of less time with your child such as how to guide children,I have summarized those"Nothing more than"Types of dad,Their father is also very busy,But the children are growing well.Again for instance,During the period of German,Their methods of rigid,First let me feel very funny,The second feel very honorable,A third think they are terrible.So I took them some method and combining with the advantages of Chinese flexible to use.

　　刚才提到共同成长，可以这么说，实际上我这套教育理论是和孩子包括我的工作共同成长的。工作中，给别的家庭解决问题时，人家问杨老师，你家安妮挺好的，你有什么方法。这就逼着我用文字来写我这套东西，从脑子中的概念形成文字，这是一个共同成长。

Just mentioned grow together,You can say that,In fact, I was the education theory and child grow together including my work.In the work,To other families to solve the problem,The somebody else ask teacher Yang,Your home very good Annie,What methods do you have.This is my words to write me this things,From the concept to form words in mind,This is a common growth.

　　新华网：这么说，我们是不是可以随着安妮的成长，看到您下一本针对年龄大一点孩子的书？

xinhua:To say so,If we can grow up with Anne,See you the next book for older children?

　　杨峥：难道我露出什么口风了吗？我预想的第二本书叫做“爸爸你怎敢老？”，这题目的意思是爸爸你永远都不会老，是这本书的进阶版。我觉得在教育孩子这件事上，不但不累，而且是个青春保养品，年轻心态的培养，所以懒爸爸不会老。

Yang Zheng:Don't I show what tune?The second book is called as I thought"How dare you old dad?",The meaning of this topic is dad you will never be old,Is the advanced version of this book.I think in education children on this matter,Not only is not tired,And a youth care product,The cultivation of the young state of mind,So lazy father never gets old.

　　

内向也有内向的active Introverts are introverted The active

　　新华网：书里举了很多例子，印象最深的就是安妮直接跑上台，说在不举手就来不及了。安妮是个很积极外向的孩子，那么您怎么看内向的孩子呢？

xinhua:A lot of examples in the book,The deepest impression is Annie directly run,Said that was too late to don't raise your hand.Anne is a very The active and outgoing boy,So what do you think introverted children?

　　杨峥：这是我在书中没有提到的一点，所谓的外向和内向。我在书中用了“active”这个词，甚至有很多比我英文还好的家长还提到“proactive”，其实都是积极主动，一个是什么都往上冲，另一个是会绸缪会计划。

Yang Zheng:This is I didn't mention in the book,The so-called extroversion and introversion.I'm in the book"The active"The word,There is even a lot better than my English parents also mentioned"ProThe active",Are proThe active,What is a all washed up,Another is to be able to manage plan.

　　我用“active”这个词实际是代表一种态度。因为你用任何一个中文的词，积极、主动、开朗、灵活，大家都会想到外向型孩子，但我核心的意思是无论外向内向的孩子都应该具备这种active的态度。

I use"The active"The word is actually represents a kind of attitude.Because you use any Chinese words,positive/Take the initiative to/A bright and cheerful disposition/flexible,Everyone will think of extroverted child,But my heart is both outgoing indrawn child should have the The active attitude.

　　比如现在家家都关注的地震救灾，可能外向型的就会积极地说我要去前线；而性格内向的孩子，依然可以有这种active的态度，他可以在后方捐款，甚至可以研究灾区是缺帐篷了还是缺水了，即使人不去。所以这里无论性格，积极的生活态度都是一脉相承的。

Now every family focus on earthquake relief,Might extroverted will The actively said I want to go to the front;And introverted child,Can still have this kind of The active attitude,He can be in the rear donations,Can even research areas is lack tents or lack of water,Even if people don't go.So regardless of the character,Positive attitude towards life are all in line.

　　说到这一点，我倒是很想给学校的老师提个建议。有的孩子，像安妮一样，真的把举手当成乐趣。而我也见到内向的孩子同样有表达，他可能会画一幅画，用画表达看完一本书、看完一部电影的感受。不知道现在学校的黑板报怎么安排，我强烈建议应该有个自由发言的bbs板，让学生随便往里添东西。

When it comes to this point,I would like to make a suggestion to the school teacher.Some children,Like Annie,Really put hands up as fun.And I also see introverted children are also expressed,He could draw a picture,Expressed in painting after I read a book/Watching the movie feeling.Don't know how to arrange the school blackboard now,I strongly recommend BBS board should have a free speech,Let students to add something.

　　新华网：未来青春期时，孩子还会有性格的变化，父母在这阶段如何把握？

xinhua:The future puberty,Children will also have character,Parents at this stage how to grasp?

　　杨峥：这一点我还没有调查，就没有发言权，不过我可以说一个书里没写到的故事。有一天我说“安妮，你现在怎么这么任性呢？”，我也会说很多爸爸都会说的平常话，然后她就说，“拜托老爸，你女儿现在是在青春逆反期，我这样已经不错了”。

Yang Zheng:That I haven't investigated,There is no right to speak,But I can tell you a story not written in the book.One day I said"Annie,You now how so capricious?",I also will say many dad will say the usual words of,Then she said,"Come on, dad,Your daughter is now in the youth rebellious period,I have so good".

　　这个很简单的对话背后说明了不同层次的两种沟通。第一个沟通，就是我们和孩子之间没什么忌讳。她怎么会知道“青春逆反期”这个词？这一定是平常沟通没什么障碍的结果。另一个无障碍是父母和孩子之间的沟通，她什么都敢跟你说。就像她会拿“青春逆反期”作为挡箭牌。

Behind the simple dialogue illustrates the different levels of two kinds of communication.The first communication,Is nothing taboo between we and the children.How could she know"Rebellious youth period"The word?This must be the result of the common communication no obstacle.Another accessibility is the communication between parents and children,She what all dare to say with you.As she will take"Rebellious youth period"As a shield.

　　我很相信也很乐观的说，过几年当她真正进入到所谓让家长苦恼的逆反期时，我们由于有了前期的铺垫和沟通，在逆反情绪过去以后，我们能够重新坐下来讨论的时候，她能认识问题，接受建议。

I believe also very very optimistic,In a few years when she truly entered the rebellious period in the so-called let parents worry,Because we have the prophase preparation and communication,After the negative feelings in the past,When we can sit down and discuss again,She can know problem,On the recommendation.

　　

和爸爸不一样，却可以和姐姐一样 Is not the same with my father,But it can be like sister

　　

孩子总有一天会离开父母自己走 Children will one day leave parents themselves

　　新华网：在你的经验中，现在的家庭教育有哪些我们过去认识不到的新问题?

xinhua:In your experience,Now what are the family education in the past, we do not realize the new problems?

　　杨峥：无论是新问题还是严重的问题，就两条。一个是现在大部分都是独生子女，哥哥姐姐这里是一个断层，那么孩子的榜样是谁？爸爸妈妈并不是。

Yang Zheng:Whether it is a new problem or a serious problem,Just the two.A is now most of them are only children,Brother elder sister there is a fault,So who is a child's role model?Mom and dad is not.

　　我举个例子，安妮从幼儿园就学会了滑轮，但只要我带着她滑，她永远会拉着我的手。我说你自己滑，她马上坐地上说“爸爸我害怕”。可是短短两周我出差，回来就完全不一样了。我依然拉着她去滑滑轮，突然她就放开我的手，健步如飞。就两周她为什么有这么大变化，就因为一个外国互惠生姐姐的陪伴，姐姐跟着她一起摔。姐姐做什么她就做什么，而爸爸做什么她就不行。她认为你是爸爸，你能我不能。姐姐就是一个榜样，有事可以一起商量，相互借鉴。

I give you an example,Anne from kindergarten learns to pulley,But as long as I with her slip,She always took my hand.I said your slide,She said immediately on the ground"Dad I am afraid of".But just two weeks I'm on a business trip,Back is completely different.I still pull her to sliding pulley,Suddenly she let go of my hand,You've.Just two weeks, why she has such a big change,Just because a foreign mutual born sister's company,My sister fell along with her.Sister, what she do,And what she can't do dad.She thinks you are dad,Can you I can't.My sister is a model,Something can discuss together,Learn from each other.

　　第二点就是书里强调的，关注度过高的问题。我就说全职妈妈一定对孩子有害，尤其是男孩。这两条是连着的，由于独生子女的问题，所以关注度都在这一个孩子身上。

The second point is stressed in the book,Spend the problem of high attention.I would say stay-at-home mothers must be harmful to children,Especially the boy.The two are connected,Due to the problem of only children,So nothing in this one child.

　　新华网：社会是复杂的，关于负面信息，你有什么方法？

xinhua:Society is complicated,About negative information,What methods do you have?

　　杨峥：养孩子跟养宠物的相同点就都是得照顾，不同点是宠物不用离开自己，孩子早晚得离开自己。所以不要给孩子塑造一个特别完美的环境。就像教育孩子不要打人不要欺负人，那么你面对坏人，你怎么去自卫？

Yang Zheng:Children with pets similarities is all have to take care of,Difference is pets don't have to leave their,Sooner or later have to leave their children.So don't give the child to shape a perfect environment in particular.Don't hit people don't like education children bully,So you are faced with bad people,How do you go to self-defense?

　　我看到所有教育孩子类的这些书，都体现两个字就是“公平”。其实真正的公平就是对孩子最大的不公平。以后走向工作岗位并没有爸爸妈妈这棵大树了，面对不公平你该怎么办呢？但我也知道有很多很多例子中，孩子脱颖而出，但那都不是偶然的，都是从两岁开始培养的。要教给孩子争取公平的方法，以及自我调节的心态，这远比给他一个公平的结果重要。

I saw all these books education child class,There are two word is"fair".The real fair is the largest unfair to the child.After go to work not mom and dad this big tree,In the face of unfair what should you do?But I also know there are a lot of a lot of examples,Children stand out from the crowd,But it is not accidental,Began training at the age of two.Fight for fair method to teach children,As well as self adjusting state of mind,This is far more important than to give him a fair result.

　　新华网：有读者也反映，这本书跟以往的父母读物不一样，简单实用。你怎么看待现在父母类读物的图书市场？

xinhua:Have readers also reflect,This book is not the same as previous parents reading,Simple and practical.What do you think parents class reading book market now?

　　杨峥：书里我的观点还是很温和，但说不定你哪天我就像这个行业里的愤青。家庭教育里，充斥着市场各种各样的伪专家和卖得貌似还不错的书。我其实想告诉家长，一些不太好的方法，它的效果是眼前让你得到了心理安慰，但坏处会在孩子18岁、甚至28岁时显现出来。给妈妈的九十九个建议，一定要做的一百个亲子游戏，这满篇都是，没有实际指导意义。这些方法可能会打造出一个好学生来，但是不是出现了之前没有预想到的问题时，孩子会迎刃而解，走向社会后能让人放心？这个是现在越来越多的好主意好建议这套体系之下不能让我信服的。

Yang Zheng:My point of view in the book is very mild,But maybe you which day I like fenqing in this industry.In the family education,Market is filled with a variety of ringers and sell also seems well.I really want to tell parents,Some is not very good method,The effect of it is let you have the psychological comfort,But the bad will be in the child at the age of 18/Even at the age of 28.Ninety-nine proposals to mother,Must do one hundred parent-child game,This paper is,No practical significance.These methods may create a studious nature,But not before no anticipated problems,Children will be readily solved,After moves towards the society can be reassuring?This is a good idea now more and more good advice under the system do not make me convinced.

　　

未来中西合璧一定会受益 Match well of Chinese and western is bound to benefit in the future

　　新华网：你书中通过分析中国德国美国的不同处事方式，得到了一些教育上的经验，同样现在西方也有向中国学习。对这种中西相互学习的情况你有什么体会？

xinhua:You book through the analysis of the different ways of China Germany America,Got some experience in education,Also now have to learn from China in the west.To this kind of condition do you have any experience of Chinese and western learn from each other?

　　杨峥：实际上我并不认为有一个外国人或者一群外国人能够真正全面深入地了解中国。中国古代比较封闭，几千年优秀的文化都只沉淀在本土上，而近代又是在美国刚一百多年时，我们就有西学东渐。一百多年和几千年的对比很明显，再加上英语比汉语简单，我们向西方学习会快得多。

Yang Zheng:Actually I don't think there is a foreigner or a group of foreigners can be in-depth understanding of the real China.In ancient China is closed,Thousands of years precipitation is only on the local excellent culture,When the modem is just more than one hundred years in the United States,We are introduces.More than one hundred years and thousands of years of contrast is very obvious,Plus English easier than Chinese,We to the western learning faster.

　　现在中国让人感觉到越来越强大，原因也是外国人想学中国人的精髓很难很难。中国现在发展太快，几乎每五年就会有个突飞猛进。我接触到的外国人了解中国，只是了解了他以为了解到的。所以在未来交流的趋势里，中西合璧一定会受益。

Now China is let a person feel more and more,Why is the essence of foreigners want to learn Chinese is hard.China now development is too fast,Almost every five years there will be a by leaps and bounds.I come into contact with the foreigners to understand Chinese,Just to know what he thought.So in the future the trend of the communication,Match well of Chinese and western is bound to benefit.

　　在国际融合的大趋势里，我倡导的是active。在留学这个话题下，我见多太多的中国留学生“学而不留”。其实他们是为了省钱才形成中国楼、中国村、中国城，但可想而知在这种环境下，很容易学在国外，但思想和文化观念始终停留在中国。

In the trend of international convergence,I advocate is The active.Under the study in this topic,I have seen too many Chinese students"To learn without leaving".In fact they are in order to save money to form China's building/Chinatown/China town,But in this environment,It is easy to learn in a foreign country,But thoughts and cultural ideas always stay in China.