不少80后父母感叹“小儿难养”。CFP供图图文无关 Many parents sigh after 80"Children cannot support".CFP for chart graphic

　　“坑爹”早已是个妇孺皆知的网络流行语，“坑孩”你听说过吗？近日，网络世界就“坑孩”现象展开了热烈的讨论：80后年轻父母普遍不会带孩子，在育儿过程中常干有损孩子身体健康乃至生命安全的蠢事，险象环生这就是所谓的“坑孩”。

"Pit dad"Already is a Shared network buzzwords,"Pit children"Have you ever heard of??In recent days,Network world is"Pit children"Phenomenon launched a heated discussion:Young parents generally do not take children after 80,In the parenting process often do damage to children's life safety and body health,Dangerous it's called"Pit children".

　　最近有部热播的电视剧，名叫《小儿难养》，讲述了年青一代在孩子降生后无所适从的故事。年轻父母们必须尽快补上这人生的重要一课。

Some recent hit TV series,named[Children cannot support],Tells the story of the young generation is uncertain after the child was born.Young parents must catch up on this as soon as possible the important lesson of life.

　　不少人亲眼见过“坑孩”行径，大家生气但又无奈。气的是，这危及孩子的健康乃至安全；无奈的是，孩子是人家的，“皇上不急太监急”。有人发出这样的“天问”：“我真怀疑，孩子到底是不是他们亲生的。”

Many people witnessed"Pit children"ACTS,You angry and helpless.Gas is,This endangers children's health and safety;Is helpless,The child is the somebody else,"The emperor is not urgent eunuch nasty".Someone sent that way"Jiu ge":"I really doubt,The child is their own."

　　网友们悉数了发生在自己身边的“坑孩”事例，一疏忽可能成千古恨，为80后年轻父母们敲警钟。

The net friends all occur in them"Pit children"case,A negligence may become eternal hate,Young parents to alarm for 80.

　　

埋头逛街购物 Shopping in shopping

　　

忘了孩子这茬 Forgot the children

　　“现在的年轻人真不知道怎么回事，缺心眼？没责任感？丢了孩子的家长让人同情，但其中有一部分的确是因为自己没尽到作为父母的责任而一手造成的。”龙女士对本报记者说。

"Now young people really don't know how to return a responsibility,QueXinYan?No sense of responsibility?One can sympathise with lost his parents,Part but there are indeed because I didn't do as a parent's responsibility and skill."Dragon lady said to our reporter.

　　龙女士在某步行街经营一家服装店，她说自己每个月都要替人“保管小孩”。每次的情节都雷同：年轻父母带着5~10岁的儿童逛街，大人只顾埋头购物、试衣，孩子屁颠屁颠地跟在后头。大人往往走得比孩子快，加之孩子好奇心重，喜欢东瞧瞧西看看，如果大人不时刻紧盯，孩子很容易走丢。有时候，大人在龙女士的店里试穿完衣服后走了，孩子却还留在店里，等龙女士发现孩子时，家长已不知所踪，她只能“代为保管”，等着家长回头来找。

Dragon lady run a clothing store in a pedestrian street,She said she have to stay a month"Takes care of the children".The plot of each time are the same:Young parents with children aged 5 ~ 10 shopping,Adult spouse shopping/The fitting,Following child fart dian fart.Adults tend to walk faster than children,Combined with the child curiosity,Like the east look west see,If adults do not always stare,Children are easy to get lost.sometimes,Adults in the dragon lady after trying on clothes in the store,Child has to stay in the store yet,Find children, such as the dragon lady,Parents have been missing,She can only"For safekeeping",Waiting for parents to come to you later.

　　“最夸张的一次，大人过了两个多小时才找回来，孩子才五六岁，大人急得都快哭了，脸色都发青了。我问他们怎么回事，他们说孩子平时都由爷爷奶奶带，很少带孩子逛街，所以逛着逛着就忘了自己是带着孩子出来的，直到一个多小时后逛到了一家童装店，想给孩子买套衣服，才想起了孩子这回事。”龙女士记忆犹新，“那孩子长得很可爱，要不是他找不到父母大哭了起来，我也不会留意到他，他可能就哭着走到马路上找妈妈了，没准就走丢了。”

"One of the most exaggerated,Adults for more than two hours to back,Child is only five or six years old,Adults was almost crying,Look blue.I asked them what's going on,They say children usually are made by grandpa's grandmother belt,Few took the kids shopping,So around the around the forgot yourself is to take their children out,Until more than a hour after go to a children's clothing shop,Want to buy clothes for children,To remember the boy to the case."Dragon lady,"The child is very cute,If it weren't for he couldn't find his parents into tears,I also can't notice him,He may be crying walked to the road to find a mother,Maybe it got lost."

　　龙女士年近50岁，她感慨地说，这一代父母跟他们那一代父母大不相同，他们那一代人“玩心没这么重”。她也承认，时过境迁，社会环境也已今非昔比：“20多年前街上没这么多人，没这么多车，没这么多商场，逛街的基本上都是本地人，孩子相对不容易出意外。”

Dragon lady nearly 50 years old,She said with a sigh,This generation of parents that a generation of parents is very different with them,Their generation"Play with heart not so heavy".She also acknowledged that,Times have changed,Social environment has changed:"More than 20 years ago didn't have so many people on the street,Not so many cars,Not so many stores,Shopping is essentially the locals,Children are relatively easy to an accident."

　　

弃婴儿车捡遮阳伞 Abandon the pram pick up umbrellas

　　

超市“寄存”孩子 The supermarket"register"The child

　　根据网友们提供的案例，“坑孩”行径五花八门，其中绝大部分都与年轻父母的“粗线条”有关。

According to the case of net friends offer,"Pit children"ACTS a variety,Most of all with young parents"Thick line"About the.

　　有北京网友说，他曾在北京北三环东路上亲眼目睹一起“坑孩”事件。时值春天，京城风力威猛，一位年轻妈妈推着婴儿车走在人行道上，婴儿车上撑着把遮阳伞，车内躺着个可爱的小孩。忽然，一阵大风吹过，遮阳伞被吹到了马路上。这时候，这位年轻妈妈撇下婴儿车，顶着大风追遮阳伞去了。

Have a Beijing netizen said,He was in Beijing north three-ring east road to witness together"Pit children"event.springtime,Beijing wind wham!,A young mother walking along the sidewalk, pushing a pram,Baby stroller with a sunshade,Inside lay a cute little kid.All of a sudden,A gust of wind blew over,Umbrella blown onto the road.At this time,The young mother left the pram,Against the wind after a parasol.

　　这让路人非常气愤：一来路上车流密集，她上路捡遮阳伞本身就容易出安全事故；二来来往路人多，在她离开婴儿车的一分钟时间里，有路过的歹人偷偷抱走这个可爱的婴儿也是完全有可能的。于是，几个路人自发站在婴儿车旁替她看管小孩，事后，大家都怒斥她：“一把伞有那么重要吗？”

This way people very angry:Traffic was crowded,She hit the road itself is easy to pick up umbrellas safety accident;Both to and from passers-by,In a minute she left the baby stroller,Have a passing bad guys secretly took this cute baby also is completely possible.so,A few passers-by spontaneous standing next to the baby stroller look after the baby for her,afterwards,Everyone at her:"An umbrella is so important?"

　　上述年轻妈妈给潜在的不法分子提供了一分钟的作案时间，而在一些大型超市的婴儿休息室，有的年轻妈妈却“敢”让尚在襁褓中的婴儿独处几十分钟。有网友说，他看到有的年轻妈妈把睡着了的孩子放在婴儿休息室后就独自购物去了，孩子睡醒后大哭，休息室内的其他妈妈就好心地哄孩子，等孩子的妈妈回来。

The young mother provided potential criminals with a minute of time,While in some large supermarket lounge,But some young mother"Dare to"Let the baby alone on the infant dozens of minutes.Some netizens said,He saw some young mother put the sleeping child after baby room went shopping alone,Children crying after waking up,Rest and indoor other mothers would kindly put the kids,Such as the child's mother came back.

　　奇怪的是，不少孩子的妈妈回来后表情淡定，毫无自责的意思，只说“谢谢”便了事，“真让人怀疑孩子是不是她亲生的”。要知道，在她离开的那段时间里，潜在的不法分子有足够的时间抱走沉睡中的小孩，即便有其他好心人在场，大家也无从分辨不法分子是否是孩子的妈妈。

It is strange that,The mother of many children come back look calm,There is no blame meaning,Only say"thank you"It is,"Really make people wonder whether children of her own".Want to know,At that time of her to leave,Potential criminals have enough time to go sleeping child,Even if there are other good people there,You also can not distinguish whether criminals is the child's mother.

　　

零食当主食成病秧子 Snacks when staple food into BingYangZi

　　

一心搓麻孩子被狗吃 With persons, children are the dogs

　　以上事例，均蕴藏着潜在的失踪风险，而有些“坑孩”行径则更进一步，直接危及孩子的健康乃至生命安全，这类悲剧的数量一点也不少。

The above case,There is a potential risk of missing,And some of the"Pit children"Act went further,Directly endanger the child's life safety and health,The number of this kind of tragedy is not a few.

　　有网友说，他们村有个“脑残妈”，一心溺爱孩子，孩子爱吃零食就给他无节制地买零食，以至于小家伙断奶后几乎就靠吃零食填肚子，果冻、薯片、香肠、话梅、鸭脖子……新鲜蔬菜不吃，主食也不吃。那孩子很快就成了病秧子，常年感冒，还得了肺炎住了院。

Some netizens said,Their village a"Brain rot ma",With doting,Children love to eat snacks give him unrestrained buy snacks,That kid almost eat snacks to eat after weaning,jelly/Potato chips/sausage/plum/Duck neck……Don't eat fresh vegetables,We don't eat staple food.The child soon became BingYangZi,Catch a cold all the year round,Also got pneumonia in the hospital.

　　直接危及孩子生命的“坑孩”行径也不在少数，有多名网友反映，身边有人失手把整锅刚烧开的热油浇到了孩子身上，毁容致残，造成永远无法补救的过错。

Directly endanger the child's life"Pit children"Behavior is not in the minority,There are more than net friend,Someone dropped the whole pot just boil hot oil poured into the children,Disfigured disability,Cause will never be able to remedy the fault.

　　甚至有年轻家长亲手“杀害”了孩子。有个年轻爸爸在外喝醉了酒回家，躺到床上敞开四肢呼呼大睡。醒来时，他发现躺在身边的几个月大的婴儿断气了原来，他熟睡时刚好把一条胳膊架在了孩子的脖子上，孩子窒息而死他家里并非没有婴儿床。

There are even young parents personally"killing"The child.There was a young father was drunk outside home,Open arms and legs to the bed fast asleep.When they wake up,He found lying around a few months old baby was originally gave up the ghost,He just put an arm when sleeping in the child's neck,Children suffocated him home not baby bed.

　　浙江某地多年前发生的一起悲剧至今仍常被人提起：一名年轻妈妈痴迷于搓麻将，某日，家中只剩她与婴儿两人，她便把孩子放在床上，锁门外出搓麻将去了。废寝忘食，等她回家时，迎接她的是极度悲惨的一幕：孩子被家中的大狼狗咬死了。

Zhejiang somewhere to a tragic accident many years ago are still often being filed:A young mother obsessed with persons,One day,Only she and her baby two people in the home,She put the child on the bed,Lock the door when you leave away persons.Forget all about eating and sleeping,When she's home,To meet her is extremely tragic scene:Big dog bite dead children were at home.

　　原来，由于长时间不喂食，大狼狗饿得兽性大发，把孩子活活咬死了啃着吃。事发后，丈夫悲痛欲绝提出离婚，她本人也陷入了深深的自责。最终，她选择了离开这个世界。

The original,Due to long time not feeding,Big German shepherd a sex-crazed starved,Their children were killed chew to eat.After the incident,Grief at her husband filed for divorce,She also fell into a deep remorse.In the end,She chose to leave this world.

　　

父爱母爱=作出牺牲 Fatherly love motherly love = make sacrifices

　　心理咨询师、孙立军认为，当前“坑孩”事件频发，有其社会原因及个人原因，年轻父母要远离“坑孩”，就应该在四方面补足功课。

Psychological consultant/Sun Lijun think,The current"Pit children"Incidents in,There are the social reasons and personal reasons,Young parents to stay away from"Pit children",Four aspects should be pay for the lessons.

　　

祖传经验VS西方理念 The western concept of ancestral experience VS

　　孙立军说，近30多年以来，中国社会发展飞快，不少年轻父母认为自己儿时被照顾、被养护的“祖传经验”基本上已经完全无效了。

Sun Lijun said,More than 30 years since,China's social development fast,Many young parents think that their childhood was taken care of/The maintenance"Ancestral experience"Basically has been completely ineffective.

　　80后独生子女多，如果夫妻双方都是独生子女，就很容易对抗长辈想传承给他们的育儿理念。他们深受西方教育的影响，千方百计想采纳所谓的“西方先进育儿经验”，无视中国传统的家庭伦理秩序。

After 80 the one-child,If both husband and wife are only children,It is easy to fight passing down their elders want to parenting philosophy.They are under the influence of western education,One thousand ways to adopt the so-called"Advanced western parenting experience",Ignore the Chinese traditional family ethics order.

　　这种“西化”的育儿心理体现在医疗问题上，便是极易恐慌和焦虑。孩子一发烧，马上就送医院，打抗生素；孩子一拉肚子，马上就送医院，打抗生素。事实上，发烧和拉肚子都是正常的，持续的发烧和拉肚子才不正常，但年轻父母们因为自己的恐慌和焦虑，根本耐不住性子，他们根本不理解“生命力”为何物。

This kind of"westernization"Parenting psychological reflect on medical problems,Is easy to panic and anxiety.The child is a fever,Immediately to a hospital,Antibiotics,;A child have loose bowels,Immediately to a hospital,Antibiotics,.In fact,,Fever and diarrhea are normal,Persistent fever and diarrhea is not normal,But young parents because of their fear and anxiety,Don not temper,They don't understand"vitality"What is for.

　　

要相信自愈能力 To believe in self-healing capability

　　孙立军建议年轻父母们必须尊重和信任生命的“自愈能力”，千百年来，父母对子女的爱从未改变，恐慌和焦虑不仅无法给父爱、母爱加分，反而有极大的副作用。

Sun Lijun suggest young parents must respect and trust life"Self-healing ability",For one thousand years,Parents of love has never changed,Can't give the father loves the panic and anxiety not only/A mother's love for,Has great side effects.

　　而且，千百年来，生命的延续靠的都是五谷杂粮，而非奶粉等新近产生的物品，爱孩子，就该给他“最正确的”，而非“最好的”、“最贵的”。给孩子“最好的”、“最贵的”，只能满足家长个人的心理需求，对孩子未必有益处。

and,For one thousand years,The continuation of life by the grain,Instead of the newly produced goods such as milk powder,To love her children,You should to give him"The most correct",Rather than"One of the best"/"The most expensive".To the child"One of the best"/"The most expensive",Can only meet the individual psychological needs parents,May not be beneficial to the child.

　　包括父爱、母爱在内，所有的“爱”都意味着放弃自己的一部分欲望，作出必要的牺牲，中国传统的父爱、母爱，都是建立在自我牺牲的基础上的。比如说，年轻妈妈本人很想出去散步，但考虑到室外空气质量差，且婴幼儿没有自我保护能力，她就必须作出牺牲，待在家里育儿需要与时俱进，但让婴幼儿远离危险，是永恒的真理。

Including the father loves the/A mother's love,,All of the"love"Part of the means to give up their desires,Make the necessary sacrifices,The traditional Chinese father/A mother's love,Are built on the basis of self-sacrifice.For instance,Young mother I very want to go out for a walk,But considering the outdoor air quality is poor,And no ego to protect ability in infants,She will have to make sacrifices,To stay at home childcare needs to keep pace with The Times,But let infants and young children away from danger,Is the eternal truth.

　　事实上，“坑孩”的背后，极有可能是夫妻关系的不够和睦。要让孩子健康、幸福地成长，就必须确保夫妻关系的和谐，这是亲子教育的核心。爱是流动的，夫妻不互爱，孩子难免受伤害。(文/记者 张博伦)

In fact,,"Pit children"Behind the,Most likely a relationship not harmonious.Let the children healthy/Grow up happily,You must ensure that the harmony of the relationship,This is the core of the parent-child education.Love is the flow of,Husband and wife is not love,Children to avoid being hurt.(Wen/reporter Zhang Bo Aaron)

　　（广州日报 张博伦）

(Guangzhou daily Zhang Bo Aaron)