拼同学错在谁？ Spelling mistake in students who？

　　明明学习成绩一般，却非要花好几万元上名校，家长说是为了孩子能交一帮好同学，以后办事就有了硬关系。继“拼爹”后，又出现了“拼同学”的流行词。对此，专家称，这种家庭教育思想会害了子女，靠天靠地靠人不如靠自己！(8月5日《三秦都市报》)

Clearly learning achievement general，But don't want to spend several ten thousand yuan in school，Parents say for the children to make a bunch of good students，After hard work have the relationship。the“Spell dad”after，Appeared again“Spell students”Popular word。this，Experts say，This kind of family education thought will kill children，Dependent on the on is by on their own！(August 5,《Shall metropolis daily》)

反对 against

一步险棋胜算难料 Step risks are chess unpredictable

　　人脉资源对于一个人的成功，无疑有着非常重要的作用。可要清楚，人脉关系并不等于潜规则，更不是说有了关系(譬如同学关系)日后办事就可以超越潜规则而干一些越权越位之事。如果不能正确看待人脉的正负效应，说不定会早早地为孩子埋下一颗炸弹，让人脉成为一种束缚，成为违法违纪的后门，那终将会结出苦果的。另外，家长为孩子经营优质潜力股的同学，孩子自己会买账吗？要知道，自身学习成绩一般的孩子与那些优秀学生做同学，学习成绩无法跟上，可能会给孩子带来极大的心理压力。家长为孩子挑选优秀的同学，是一步险棋，说不定会落得个“聪明反被聪明误”。再者孩子因此挫伤了孩子的自信，让他们变得厌学，真是得不偿失。(王玉初)

Human resources to a person's success，No doubt has a very important role。Can want to clear，Connections is not equal to the unspoken rules，More is not a relationship said(Such as classmates)Future work can transcend unspoken rules and do some of excessive offside。If you can't think positive and negative effects of the right connections，Early might for children buried a bomb，Let contacts as a tie，The back door of the discipline, be illegal，That will, will bear the consequences。In addition，The parents for the children of the high quality of potential business students，Children will buy it？Want to know，Their learning achievement general children and those outstanding students do the students，Study result can't keep up with them，May give a child of psychological pressure。The parents for the children choose good students，Is step risks chess，Perhaps would end up in a“Clever to be wise”。Moreover the child so hurt the child's confidence，Let them become was tired of learning，Is the loss outweights the gain。(WangYuChu)

剖析 analysis

社会现象影响家长 Social phenomena influence parents

　　家长之所以有这样的认识，恐怕也是很多社会现象教育了他。我们不讨论家长的这样认识对不对，就是讨论社会上这些关系的潜规则存在不存在。面对这些，专家也说：“从中国传统讲，社会关系起着一定的作用，但是以后将会越来越小。”即使越来越小，也是存在的，而且即使这越来越小的存在，也会影响一个人的一生。所以面对“花8万拼同学”，我们不应该指责家长，而是应该引起有关部门的深思。靠说教让家长不要有这样的认识，不如下大力气铲除靠关系、拼关系的社会土壤。(肖华)

Parents have such knowledge，I'm afraid is also a lot of social phenomenon education him。We didn't discuss the parents know that right，Discuss the relationship between society is the unspoken rules exist does not exist。In the face of these，Experts also said：“From China's traditional speak，Social relationship plays a role，But there will be more and more small。”Even more and more small，Also exist，And even if it is more and more small existence，Also can affect a person's life。So face the“Spend 80000 spell classmates”，We should not blame the parents，But should cause the contemplation of the relevant departments。Preaching to let the parents don't have on this cognition，As the goal by rooting out the relationship、Spell relationships soil。(XiaoHua)

建议 suggest

求人不如求己 Heaven helps those who help themselves

　　以前“拼爹”，现在“拼同学”。“拼爹”，具有必然性，很自然，于情于理说得过去；“拼同学”具有偶然性，显得太势利，经不起推敲。有一天，宋朝大文学家苏东坡和知己佛印禅师一起外出春游到天竺寺。苏东坡看到寺内的观音菩萨手里拿着念珠，问身旁的佛印禅师：“观音菩萨是佛吧？”“是的。”佛印禅师回答。“既然是佛，为什么还拿着念珠？”“念珠只不过是为了念佛而已。”苏东坡继续问：“自己是观音，为何还要念佛呢？”佛印禅师答道：“这道理很简单，观音明白求人不如求己呗！”求人不如求己，这是观音拜佛给我们的人生指南。陶行知先生早就告诫我们：“滴自己的血，流自己的汗，自己的事情自己干，靠天靠地靠老子，不算是好汉。”(玫昆仑)

before“Spell dad”，now“Spell students”。“Spell dad”，Is necessary，naturally，In emotion in the Richard said；“Spell students”Have contingency，Appear too snobbish，untenable。One day，The song dynasty writer su dongpo and big friend fo Yin Jackson go out together to tian zhu temple spring outing。Su dongpo see the temple of guanyin bodhisattva hand beads，Ask around fo Yin Jackson：“Guanyin bodhisattva is Buddha it？”“yes。”Fo Yin Jackson replied。“Since it is the Buddha，Why with beads？”“Beads is just to pray to Buddha just。”Su dongpo continue to ask：“Himself is view sound，Why still want to pray to Buddha？”Fo Yin Jackson replied：“The reason is simple，View sound understand heaven helps those who help themselves bai！”Heaven helps those who help themselves，This is the heart of our life to view sound guide。Tao xingzhi values would have told us：“Drops his own blood，Flow own sweat，Do it ourselves，On my by Lao tze，Not a true man。”(Mei kunlun)

延伸 extensions

花钱就行才更可怕 Spend money do more terrible

　　如网友所说，这个家长也太高调了：干吗非要说出来呢，这新闻一出，不是引来更多的仿效者吗？从拼爹、拼干爹，再到拼同学，可见现代社会织好一张人际关系网有多重要。并不是只有中国有社会关系网，世界各国都存在社会关系网。然而，一个学习成绩只是一般，原本并不能上名校的孩子，在家长花了8万元钱之后就能堂而皇之地走进名校花得起钱就可以上好学校，是否有失公平呢？推而广之，拼同学实则上破坏的是公平竞争啊！花8万就能“拼同学”，这显然才是更可怕之处。毕竟，就好像蔡桓公之病，已不只是在肌肤，而是在骨髓了。(杨菁)

If you say，The parents also is too high：Why must you speak up，This news a，Not induce more FangXiaoZhe？From the spell dad、Spell, who，And then to spell students，Modern society is woven a how important relationships。And not only China has social networks，All countries in the world exist social networks。however，A learning achievement just generally，Originally and not looking on children，In parents spent 80000 dollars money after their name into can afford school money will be superior school，Whether it is unfair？nay，Spell damage but the students is fair competition ah！Spend 80000 can“Spell students”，This obviously is more terrible place。After all，As if the CaiHuanGong disease，Has not just in the skin，But in the bone marrow。(YangJing)

三言两语 words

　　个体将希望都建立在权贵的结姻上，将梦想都建立在经营关系上，这究竟是个体的价值观出现了问题，还是整个社会的规则发生了错乱？不搞清这个问题，高调的说教则脱离了实际，甚至成为一种矫情。唐伟

Individuals will hope are based on powerful "on marriage，Dreams are based on business relations，Whether it is the individual values problems，Or the whole social rules occur disorder？Don't make clear the problem，High profile of a sermon, from the actual，Even become a sentimental。TangWei

　　如果让孩子早早就演练这些庸俗的关系学，对于孩子的身心成长，是一种显而易见的负能量。万光武

If let children early in the practice these vulgar relations，For the children of physical and mental growth，Is a kind of obvious negative energy。All light wu

　　无恃可“拼(凭)”的家长，退而求其次选择“拼同学”，劝之以“害子论”没有意义，宣彰“靠天靠地靠人不如靠自己”没有听众。对贱如草芥的个体公民来说，适应(社会)比排斥更有生存意义，他们花钱“拼同学”是无奈之举，也是一种生存之道。成彪

No relies can“spell(by)”parents，The next choice“Spell students”，Advised by“Against the son of”No significance，XuanZhang“Dependent on the on is by on their own”No audience。For base such as CaoGai individual citizens for，Adapt to(social)More than rejection survival significance，They spend money“Spell students”Is helpless for，Also is a kind of the way of existence。ChengBiao

　　专家与其劝导家长，不如为社会“把脉”，给出办法让当权者规矩用权、执法者老实执法，到那时不但没有家长“拼同学”，“拼爹”、“拼干爹”也将淡出历史。石潭

Expert advice and parents，For society as“pulse”，Give way to let the authorities YongQuan rules、Law enforcers to law enforcement，By that time not only no parents“Spell students”，“Spell dad”、“Spell, who”Will fade out the history。ShiTan

　　尽管花钱去上名校不失为一种方法，但是必须得让孩子明白一个道理，那就是在借助外力来发展自己的同时也必须得具备足够的“内功”，否则只会吃力不讨好。康伟明（康伟明）

Although spending money to schools can yet be regarded as a kind of method on，But must have the child understand a truth，That is by external force in developing its own at the same time also have to have enough“The internal”，Or will only need。KangWeiMing（KangWeiMing）