搜狐教育主持人： Sohu education host:接下来有请《陪孩子走过高中三年》作者、高级家庭教育指导师、国家心理咨询师刘称莲老师进行讲座，讲座的主题是如何与孩子进行有效的沟通。

Now I[Accompany children through high school three years]The author/Senior family education guidance teacher/National psychological counseling j says lotus teacher to give lectures,The theme of the seminar is how to communicate effectively with their children.

一、和孩子沟通的基础是尊重：天天向上的生命力、独一无二的创造力 a/And children communication is the basis of respect:Day day up vitality/Unique creativity

刘称莲【高级家庭教育指导师、国家心理咨询师】： Liu called Ephraim[Senior family education guidance teacher/National psychological consultant]:大家好，很高兴今天能够在搜狐和新东方组织的家长课堂上来讲课。今天让我觉得又高兴、又惶恐的一件事是我的老师坐在这儿，跟大家一起讲家庭教育的东西，我觉得很高兴。我的老师就是我的家庭教育指导师的启蒙老师，非常高兴，很意外今天能见到他。

hello everybody,I am very pleased today can in sohu and new Oriental parent class lectures.Today, let me think and happy/And fear of one thing is my teacher sitting here,With everybody about family education things,I feel very happy.My teacher is my family education guidance teacher first teacher,Very happy,Was surprised to see him today.

　　我女儿当时是上初中，后来我通过这么多年的学习，我自己也有一些新的东西加进来。我们的孩子一生下来就进入了一个关系系统。这个关系系统有很多，最重要、影响最深的这个系统、这个关系就是亲子关系。所以我们今天就是要讲在亲子关系中，我们家长如何跟我们的孩子有效的沟通。今天我想从两个方面来讲，一个方面就是我们跟孩子沟通的基础是尊重。

My daughter was in junior high school,Then I through so many years of study,I also have some new things added.Our children born into a relationship system.The relationship system has a lot of,The most important/The most significant influence the system/The relationship is parentage.So we today is to speak in parent-child relationships,How our parents to our children effective communication.Today I want to terms from two aspects,A part is that we with children communication is the basis of respect.

　　首先我觉得我们应该尊重我们孩子天生的向上的生命力。孩子的生命力就像植物一样，植物刚开始发芽很小，但是慢慢会长很大。孩子刚生下来的时候，新生儿只有几十公分，但是一个月以后就会长几公分，一岁的时候这个孩子也许会长到一米、几十公分。孩子到初中的时候，有的孩子能长到一米八。拿我的女儿来说，我女儿上小学的时候只认识几十个字，小学一年级结束的时候，我的女儿就能看很大的小说了。我在她一年级的时候真的没有做什么。主要的功劳是学校，我们孩子向上的力量是在那儿的。我们作为家长应该做什么？我觉得首先应该敬畏我们孩子的向上的生命力。我们家长要做什么？做的就是要给我们孩子营养，这个营养包括，一个是生理的营养，一个是心理的营养。生理的营养在现在这个时代不太成问题。我们成长的年代可能有时候还会饿肚子，但是现在孩子的这个时代不会饿肚子。生理营养是不会成问题的，主要是我们的家长应该给孩子心理营养。刚才万老师也讲到我们要用一颗心来爱孩子，我们要用百分之多少的心来爱我们的孩子，爱到什么样的程度我们的孩子才能成长呢？才能长得茁壮呢？我觉得这是很重要的。心理营养是什么呢？因为今天的家长大部分是中学生的家长，我从学习的动力方面来说一下，孩子的学习动力是什么？孩子的学习动力我觉得第一点应该是好奇心。这个小学生是非常明显的。我记得我的女儿上小学的时候，真是对所有的东西都充满了好奇的。所以我们家就备着好几本百科全书。她对所有的东西都充满了好奇，我们家长怎么做呢？要满足孩子的好奇心，孩子的学习动力。第一点是好奇心，第二点是兴趣。只要你能满足她的好奇心，在孩子对蚂蚁好奇的时候，我们能让她知道蚂蚁到底是怎么长的，蚂蚁的生活习性是什么。孩子的好奇心一满足了，他学习的兴趣就来了。小学一年级的孩子会学自然、科学那门课的时候，会学到叶子的形状。叶子有好多形状，孩子对叶子充满着一种好奇。我女儿一年级的时候，她说妈妈我们学到叶子的形状了，你这个周末能不能带着我去找一找叶子？我们就在周末放下所有的事情带着我的女儿去植物园，到处去看树叶。秋天的时候树叶也在掉，我们捡了各种各样的树叶，心形叶、椭圆叶、圆形叶，很多种叶子。孩子在这种过程中，他的好奇心得到了满足，好奇心得到满足，他的兴趣又来了。第二点学习的动力是兴趣。第三点是成就感。我女儿那个周末和我一起去植物园。各种各样的叶子都搜集起来，做成了叶画，她的叶画做的很漂亮，因为她的叶子比较丰富。在做的过程中我跟她爸爸就在夸她，宝贝，你这个画做的真好。她用叶子做的小狐狸，非常漂亮，我们就夸她。在家里的时候我们把成就感给到她。当她拿到叶画到学校的时候，老师给她一份赞美。她的成就感来了，你想一想她下一次还愿不愿意完成这样一份作业？她就愿意完成了。还有一个很重要的学习动力是好的心情。如果我们孩子早晨起来被爸爸妈妈骂一通，去了学校以后，这个孩子的心情很糟糕，你想一想这个孩子一节课、第二节课能上好吗？所以我觉得动力还应该包含孩子的好心情。

First of all, I think we should respect our children born upward vitality.The child's vitality is like plants,The plant just began to sprout is very small,But slowly a President.The child was born when the,Neonatal only a few tens of centimeters,But one month later of several centimeters,A year old when the child may grow to a meter/Dozens of cm.The child to junior high school of time,Some children can grow up to one meter eight.Take my daughter speaking,My daughter is in the primary school only know a few words,A primary school at the end of the year,My daughter can see a lot of novels.I am in her a grade really didn't do what.The main contribution is the school,Our children up strength is in there.We as parents should do?I think first of all should fear our children's upward vitality.Our parents to do???????Do is to give our children nutrition,The nutrition including,One is a physiological nutrition,One is a psychological nutrition.Physiological nutrition in this age not a problem.Our growth s may sometimes hungry belly,But now the child of this age will not hungry belly.Physiological nutrition is not debatable,Main is our parents should give their kids a psychological nutrition.Just all the teacher also spoke about we want to use a heart to love children,We want to use what percentage of heart to love our children,Love to what extent our children to grow?To grow healthy and strong??I think this is very important.Psychological nutrition is what?Because today's parents most is a middle school student's parents,I'm from study power ways once,The child's learning power is what?The child's learning power I think the first point should be curiosity.The pupil is very obvious.I remember my daughter when in elementary school,Is really to all things is full of curious.So our house saddled with several encyclopedia.She to all things is full of curiosity,Our parents do?To meet the child's curiosity,The child's learning power.The first point is curiosity,The second point is interested in.As long as you can meet her curiosity,In the child to the ant curious time,We can let her know ants exactly is how long,The ant life habit is what.The child's curiosity a meet the,His interest in learning is coming.In the first grade of elementary school children will learn nature/Science the door lesson of time,Will learn the shape of the leaves.The leaves have a lot of shape,The child is full of leaves a curiosity.My daughter is a grade,She said mother we learn the shape of leaves,You can take this weekend I look for leaves?We'll put down all the things in the weekend with my daughter to botanical garden,Everywhere to see the leaves.In autumn the leaves are also out,We picked up all kinds of leaves,heart-shaped/Elliptical leaves/Round leaf,Many leaves.The child in this process,His curiosity satisfied,Curiosity satisfied,His interests again.The second study power is interested in.The third point is a sense of accomplishment.My daughter that weekend and I go to botanical garden.All kinds of leaves are collected,Made leaf painting,Her leaf painting do is very beautiful,Because she leaves relatively rich.In the process of do I told her father in her glory,baby,You this painting to do it so well.She leaves do little fox,Very beautiful,We will boast she.At home we put a sense of accomplishment give to her.When she get leaf painting to school,The teacher gave her a praise.Her sense of achievement came,The next time you think about her vow not willing to finish such a work?She is willing to finish the.There is a very important learning motivation is a good mood.If our children rose up in the morning is mom and dad scold a,Go to the school later,The child's mood is very bad,You think about the children a lesson/The second lesson can good?So I think power should also include the child's in a good mood.