四、我的“亲子沟通”独门秘方 four/my"Parent-child communication"Alone door secret recipe

　　还有一个技巧就是“3R技巧”，这个对小朋友就比较有效果。是三个R打头的英语单词。第一个是重复，Repeat。有一个四岁的小朋友不愿意上幼儿园。早上起来往幼儿园的路上走的时候，他说妈妈我不愿意上幼儿园。妈妈说，你为什么不愿意上幼儿园？小朋友说，其实我就是不愿意见小龙。妈妈说，你不想见小龙啊？小朋友又说，小龙昨天打了我。这个妈妈其实很简单，孩子就说了，我不想上幼儿园。但是妈妈这个时候给他讲道理了吗？她没有说你大了，你该上幼儿园了。她就是简单的重复孩子的话，让他说出他不上幼儿园的原因。实际上他是昨天挨打了。这种方法对小朋友比较管用，高中生这个办法不太管用了。还有一个是重组，就是把别人的话用我们的意思说出来。比如说有时候人会长篇大论，如果我们把他的话提出来，反馈给他。这是一种办法，他就会把他自己真实的想法说出来。这个孩子到底想什么，无论他说的话，还是做的事都是表面现象。如果我们把人作为一座冰山的话，那就是冰山露出来那一角，冰山下面还藏着很多。我们用这种方式把它找出来。还有一个R就是说出别人的感受，说出孩子的感受，因为小朋友有时候不会表达自己的情绪、感觉，他会很难受。但是他不会表达自己的感觉。但是我们家长能不能去猜想，孩子你现在是不是烦了？孩子你现在是不是有点迷惑？我们就要把他这种想法猜出来。我的邻居有一个小孩，他说他很烦燥，当我猜对了的时候，他的哭声立马就会止住。如果我们真的把这个孩子的心理猜透了，那孩子就会觉得，你理解他，他的那种情绪就会发泄。

There is a skill is"3 r skills",The kid is more effective.Are the three R heading English words.The first one is repeated,repeat.There is a four year old children don't willing to kindergarten.The morning went to kindergarten when the road,He said that mom I am not willing to kindergarten.Mother said,Why don't you willing to kindergarten?Children said,Actually, I just don't like to opinion dragonet.Mother said,You don't want to see dragonet ah?Children said,Little dragon hit me yesterday.The mother is actually very simple,The child said,I don't want to go to the kindergarten.But this time he mother to speak the truth?She didn't say you big,You should on the kindergarten.She is simple repetition children said,Let him say he is not the cause of the kindergarten.In fact he was beaten yesterday.This method is useful for children,High school students this way doesn't work the.And still another is restructuring,Is take someone else's word with our saying out.Sometimes people will long for example,If we take his words out,Feedback to his.This is a kind of way,He will be his own true say what I think.The children really want,No matter what he said,Or do is surface phenomenon.If we look at man as an iceberg words,That is a corner that iceberg come to light,Iceberg below also hide a lot of.We use this way to find it.There is a R is out of other people's feelings,Tell the child's feelings,Because children sometimes not express their emotions/feel,He will be very uncomfortable.But he will not express their feelings.But we parents can go to guess,Children are you bored?Children are you puzzled?We will put his guess the idea.My neighbor is a child,He said that he was very upset,When I guess right time,He cries immediately will be stopped.If we really put the child's psychological outguess the,The child will feel,You understand he,His that kind of mood will be out.

　　在我们家还有一个沟通的方式：写信。我有一个技巧：我们一家三口有三个信箱，爸爸、妈妈、孩子。孩子有什么不高兴的事情了，给爸爸写信，写一个纸条。小时候是画画。爸爸会给孩子回信。还有一个沟通的方式叫“投其所好”。爱孩子的方式有很多，但是每一个孩子需要的不一样。如果孩子的需求能够被满足，他就会很舒服，就会给我们家长惊喜。

In our family and a communication way:write.I have a skill:All three of us there are three box,dad/mother/children.Child have any not happy thing,To write dad,Write a note.When I was a child is painting.Father will give the child to reply.There is a communication way call"Throw the good".There are many ways to love her children,But every child need not the same.If the child's needs can be met,He will be very comfortable,Can we parents surprise.

　　今天我就跟大家分享这么多，谢谢大家！

Today, I will share with you so much,Thank you!