原标题：五年级小学生已“相恋”三年，两成小学生承认有“恋情” Original title:Five grade pupils already"Fell in love"Three years,Twenty percent of pupils have admitted"relationship"

小学生“早恋”，外貌是第一“恋爱准则” pupils"Early love",Appearance is the first"Love rule"

专家：小伢不懂爱情只是模仿，家长老师应加强引导 experts:Small Ya don't know love just imitate,Parents teacher should strengthen the guide

　　近期孟女士忧心忡忡，因为五年级的女儿莉莉每天都会抱着手机跟同学发短信。有一次莉莉的手机正充电，碰巧来了条短信，孟女士翻阅后竟发现，她和一名男生一天内短信来往近百条，除了“你睡了吗”这样的问候语，还不乏“我很想你”、“好喜欢你”这样的告白。

Recent meng woman worried,Because the fifth grade daughter lily held every day with my cell phone to send a text message.Have a lily's cell phone is charging,Happened to come message,Meng woman read after the death was found,She and a boy in a day message with article nearly,In addition to"Are you asleep"So greeting,Also thering is no lack of"I miss you"/"Good like you"Such a confession of the.

　　其实这名男生是莉莉以前学校的一个同学，去年孟女士就发现莉莉与这名男生来往密切，她私下询问了女儿及男孩班上的同学，发现女儿与这名男生正在“谈恋爱”，孟女士立即给女儿办了转学。没想到换了新学校，女儿和那个男孩还是经常发短信联系。

In fact, this is lily boys before school a classmate,Last year, meng woman he found lily and the boys with close,She secretly asked the daughter and boy students of the class,Found his daughter and the boys are"Fall in love",Meng woman immediately give daughter done transfer.Didn't expect in a new school,Daughter and the boy often send text messages or contact.

　　孟女士很疑惑，现在的小伢是不是都很早熟，这么小的年纪就开始“早恋”了吗？

Meng woman very puzzled,It is now a small Ya is everybody very early,Such a small age began"Early love"??

　　“前几天，我在QQ上说‘阿姨希特鲁’向萌萌示爱，她没有回应我，我想她还不知道这是日语的‘我爱你’的意思！”11岁的晓杰说，同班同学萌萌是他的女朋友，两人“谈恋爱”已有三年。

"A few days ago,I said on the QQ‘Aunt hitt lu’To sprout sprout and love,She didn't respond to me,I think she also don't know this is Japanese‘I love you’mean!"11 years old XiaoJie said,Classmate sprout sprout is his girlfriend,Two people"Fall in love"For three years.

　　晓杰回忆，第一次跟萌萌告白是二年级的时候，两人在学校操场上玩单杠。晓杰酝酿了很久，憋了足足半小时，才对萌萌羞涩地挤出一句：“我很……喜欢你……”瞬间，萌萌的脸红得像个苹果。晓杰凑过去，轻轻挨了下萌萌的脸，“当时我的心怦怦乱跳”，就这样两人确定了“恋爱关系”。

XiaoJie memories,First time to sprout sprout confessions is second grade,Two people in the school playing on the playground horizontal bar.XiaoJie brewing for a long time,Suppress for half an hour,To sprout sprout coyly squeeze out a word:"I'm……Like you……"moment,Sprout sprout blushed like an apple.XiaoJie gather together in the past,Gently got down sprout sprout face,"At that time I heart throb",So two people determined"Love relationship".

　　“你知道什么是喜欢吗？”面对记者的提问，晓杰一本正经地解释道，“当然知道啊，我每天花一半的时间想她，还送了戒指给她，而且星座书上说天蝎座的人为了追求别人会不顾一切，我就是不顾一切喜欢她。”

"Do you know what is love?"Facing journalists' questions,XiaoJie stockily explained,"Of course know,I spent half the time to think of her,Also sent the ring to her,And sign the book said Scorpio in order to pursue the others will desperate,I am desperate like her."

　　记者又问萌萌，她很大方地承认是晓杰的女朋友，还表示两人长大后会结婚。除了他们，班上还有“两对”，6个人常约在一起玩，还成立了一个“小帮派”。

The reporter also asked sprout sprout,She is very generous to admit is XiaoJie girlfriend,Also said that two people will grow up to get married.In addition to their,Class and"two",Six men often about playing together,Also set up a"A small gang".

　　“他们俩的事我知道，戒指还是我陪他用珠子串成的。”晓杰的妈妈刘女士说，知道两个孩子彼此喜欢，但应该是小孩间天真的想法，自己并没有太当一回事。

"I know both of them,Ring or am I with he beads strung together."XiaoJie mother liu said,Know that two children like each other,But should be between the idea of naive child,Themselves and not too when one and the same.

两成小学生承认有“恋爱”对象外貌是第一“恋爱准则” Twenty percent of pupils have admitted"love"Object appearance is the first"Love rule"

　　“我们班有一对很出名啊，大家都知道。”就读于汉口一小学四年级的晓敏告诉记者，他们都是以“老公”、“老婆”相称，两人还假扮“结婚”，闹过数次分手，但是怎么都不“离婚”。

"Our class has a pair of very famous ah,Everyone knows that."Enrolled in hankou a fourth grade XiaoMin told reporters,They are"The husband"/"The wife"match,The two men also pretend"married",Make several times to break up,But how are not"divorce".

　　记者随机采访了武汉三镇的80名小学生，其中54人都表示同学间有“谁喜欢谁”这样的绯闻，14人承认自己有恋爱对象。

Reporters interviewed the random, three towns of wuhan 80 pupils,The 54 people said between classmates"Who like who"Such gossip,14 people admit they have love object.

　　“一年级的小偷二年级的贼、三年级的美女没人追、四年级的帅哥一大堆、五年级的情书满天飞、六年级的夫妻一对对。”汉阳一所小学五年级的晓佳说，这是他们自创的打油诗，“情书满天飞”一点也不夸张，班上传纸条示爱的同学非常多，当然这是不能让老师知道的。

"A grade the thief a thief in the second grade/Third grade beauty didn't men after him/Four grade handsome boy a lot of/Fifth grade love letter all over the place/Grade six husband and wife couples."Hanyang a primary school grade five of XiaoJia said,This is their own doggerel,"Love letter all over the place"Don't exaggerate,The note in the class and love classmates very much,Of course this is can't let the teacher know.

　　“有一天晚上，我莫名其妙地收到班上匿名同学的短信，像是自编的情诗，言语很肉麻，我看后立即就删了。”五年级的晓璐说，班上有32名男生，其中20多人都明恋或暗恋着自己，平时都相当殷勤，比如抢着帮她拿重东西、捉满瓶的蝴蝶送给她、爬到树上捡飞碟“逞英雄”、跳长绳的时候“放水”让她过关……还有两个男孩抢着玩她的手机，结果大打出手，闹到老师要求请家长。不过晓璐说，虽然爱慕者众多，但她一心都只在学习上，这么小“谈恋爱”没有必要。

"One night,I somehow received an anonymous text message in the class of students,Like wrote poetry,Words very disgusting,I see immediately after deleted."Fifth grade XiaoLu said,Class 32 boys,Including more than 20 people are bright love or like his,Usually quite hospitable,Such as rob to help her get heavy things/Catch a full bottle of butterfly gave her/Climb trees to pick up the flying saucer"Display gallantry"/When the long jump"drain"Let her pass……There are two boys rob to play her mobile phone,Results roughhouse,Make to the teacher asked parents please.But XiaoLu said,Although many admirers,But she only with all my heart in the study,So small"Fall in love"There is no need to.

　　长得漂亮、性格温柔、成绩优异……记者调查发现，小学生的恋爱准则中，这三条居首位，不少小学生喜欢他人的理由很简单：“因为她漂亮”、“因为他帅”。

pretty/Personality gentleness/Excellent results……Reporter survey found,Elementary student's love in the standards,This article three in the first place,Many students like to others for a very simple reason:"Because she is beautiful"/"Because he is handsome".

　　四年级的晓俊就坦言，自己从二年级开始就有心仪的女生，是隔壁班的一个“小美女”。不过一直都是处于“暗恋”，也不打算表白。

Four grade XiaoJun just said,His second grade from the start with the right girl,Is the next class of a"The little beauty".But always is in"Unrequited love",Also not going to express.

　　“晓杰和萌萌两个孩子感情非常要好，我平时也看在眼里，但这并非是真正意义上的‘早恋’。”班主任陈老师说，晓杰这个孩子性格有点另类，不是很合群。二年级新转学过来，萌萌是他的第一任同桌，面对全新的环境，倍感孤独的他将自己的情感寄托在萌萌身上。晓杰的爸爸在美国留学过，深受西方教育熏陶，所以思想比较开放。平时也常陪晓杰看外国大片，里面都会涉及到爱情这方面的话题，小孩子看得、听得多了，自然而然就会想要“模仿”里面的情节，但他未必是真的理解“爱”。

"XiaoJie and sprout sprout two children better feelings very much,I usually also see in the eye,But it is not real‘Early love’."The teacher in charge teacher Chen said,XiaoJie the child character a little alternative,Not very gregarious.Second grade new transfer over,Sprout sprout is his first sit at the same table,In the face of the new environment,Feeling lonely he will their feelings on sprout sprout body.XiaoJie father in a study in the United States,By the western education edification,So thought is open.Usually also often accompany XiaoJie see foreign large,It involve love this topic,Children to see/Heard much,Naturally will want to"imitation"Inside the plot,But he is not necessarily really understand"love".

　　“当看到两个小孩关系要好时，一定不能盖棺论定地说他们在谈恋爱。”从事班主任工作15年的王老师说，最好的方式是“冷处理”，不把它当回事儿。“班上曾有一个男孩子每天给一个女孩送饮料，我就开玩笑地说，能否给老师也每天送一瓶。男孩子意识到这样做‘有问题’后，慢慢减少了对女孩的关注。孩子们都有叛逆心理，最好不要明确跟他说不能怎样做，但可以让他意识到，自己的做法并不妥。”

"When saw two children relationship when better,Must not all the seasons are up to say them in love."The teacher in charge work in 15 years of teacher wang said,The best way is"Cold treatment",Don't take it when the matter."The class has a boy to a girl every day to drink,I joked,Can you give the teacher also send a bottle of every day.Boys aware of doing so‘Have a problem’after,Slowly reduces the girl's attention.Children are rebellious psychology,Had better not explicitly told him not how to do,But can let him realize,His approach is wrong."

家长 70后家长对“早恋”看法开明“这只不过是懵懂的好感” Parents after 70 to parents"Early love"Liberal views"This is just ignorant favor"

　　“他和班上有个女生很要好啊，但应该是闹着玩的吧！”34岁的唐先生说，儿子刚上四年级，虽然有一次在QQ上看到他和同学讨论喜欢、结婚之类的话题，自己也没有太在意。过了几天他主动问儿子有没有喜欢的人，没想到儿子很大方地承认。“儿子心里的‘喜欢’，应该只是孩子间一种懵懂的好感。”

"He and the class a girl is better ah,But it should be fun!"34 years old Mr. Tang said,Son just top grade four,Although once on the QQ saw him and discuss the questions like/The topic of marriage and so on,Without too care about.After a few days he active q son have like of the person,Didn't expect son generous to admit."Son of the heart‘like’,Children should only between a ignorant favor."

　　“记得我读书的时候，直到初中才知道有‘喜欢’、‘爱’啊这回事。”家住五里新村的曾女士说，现在的小伢比他们那个年代早熟多了，女儿上三年级就说班上有人写纸条说喜欢她，不过她没有理睬。现在电视剧、漫画书甚至动画片里，都有情情爱爱的话题，也难免小孩子会懂这些。

"Remember that when I'm reading,Until the junior middle school to know‘like’/‘love’Ah it."Live in five miles of saemaul undong lady had said,It is now a small Ya than they that s much more early,Daughter is in grade three said someone in the class write note said like her,But she didn't ignore.Now TV/Comic books even in the cartoon,All sentient beings love love topic,Also hard to avoid children will understand these.

　　“我们那个年代，学校、老师对‘早恋’管得非常严格，那时候谈恋爱的同学非常少，如果发现一对就会引起轩然大波。”70后家长胡女士说，本来男孩、女孩是约在一起好好学习，只是彼此间很有好感，但是经过学校、老师、家长的介入后，反而引发了他们的叛逆心理，偏要在一起。“我在成长过程中体会过这样的心情，所以在教育自己孩子时，我一向比较开明，和女儿建立良好的沟通。”

"We the s,The school/The teacher to‘Early love’Tube very strictly,At that time, fall in love of students very little,If you find a pair of will cause a storm in a teacup."After 70 parents ms hu said,Was boy/The girl is about together good good study,Just a great feeling between each other,But after school/The teacher/Parents after intervention,But caused they rebel psychology,Partial to be together."I am in the process of growing up the experience such a mood,So in education when their children,I always was more liberal,And her daughter to establish good communication."

　　记者随机采访的80位70后小学生家长中，62人都对孩子间的“喜欢”、“爱”持无所谓的态度，都认为只是孩子懵懂情感的表现，闹着玩的。但也有少数家长对此感到忧虑，这么小就“爱啊”、“结婚啊”、“娶你做老婆”这样的话语不离口，会不会弄假成真？长此以往，会不会就真的“早恋”了？

Reporters interviewed random 80 after 70 pupils in the parents,62 people between the to the child"like"/"love"The indifferent attitude,All think that only children ignorant emotional performance,sportive.But there are also a few parents worried about this,So little is"yes"/"Wedding ah"/"Marry you to be a wife"Such words from the mouth,Will not make believe becomes reality?In the long run,Will not really"Early love"the?

　　“每个人在成长过程中都会经历感情，恋爱没有早或者晚这样的说法，当你懂得爱情的时候，就是在恋爱。”华中师范大学社会学家梅志罡教授认为，“早恋”本身就是个伪命题，对于小学生而言，即便叫上“老公”、“老婆”这样的称呼，也只是基于彼此间深厚的友情、懵懂的好感，与恋爱本身没有关系，但是用恋爱的形式伪装表达出来。因而说孩子“早恋”，本身就是对恋爱的一种误读。

"Everyone in the growth process will experience feelings,Love does not have early or late this idea,When you know how to love,Is in love."Central China normal university sociologist MeiZhiGang professor thinks,"Early love"Itself is a false proposition,As for primary school students,Even if called on"The husband"/"The wife"This call,Only based on the profound friendship between each other/Ignorant good,And love itself have no relation,But with the form of expression in disguise.She said the child"Early love",To love itself is a kind of misreading.

　　孩子之所以会懂得这么多，这和社会上涌现出的大量影视作品、图书出版物是分不开的。国外的影片、著作会明确指出适合怎样年龄段的孩子看，但在国内，很多不适合孩子看的成人电视、成人著作，孩子都有所接触，导致孩子情感的发育伪成熟，表面看来就好像是“超前”了。作为家长不必过分紧张、担忧，过多地干涉孩子情感的正常发展反而会引起反作用，可多引导孩子看适合他们年龄段的电视、书籍。

The reason that the kid will know so much,This and social reflect a large number of film and television works/The books and publications are inseparable.Foreign film/Work will explicitly pointed out that suitable for how to age children see,But in our country,,Many are not suitable for children watch adult TV/Adult works,Children have contact,Cause the child to have the emotional development pseudo mature,The surface looks like"advance"the.As parents need not too nervous/concerns,Too much interference in the normal development of children emotional it will lead counterproductive,But many guide children watch TV for their age/books.

　　梅志罡说，对于个别孩子，经过家长、老师确认，他的确处于恋爱状态，大人们应当在第一时间进行自我反思。孩子缺乏家庭的温暖、在校受到的关注少，容易将自己的情感转移到同龄人身上，形成对同性或异性的“高度情感依赖”。家庭教育和学校教育相结合，有益于帮助孩子情感的健康发展。

MeiZhiGang said,For some children,After parents/The teacher confirmed,He is in a state of love,The adults in the first time shall be self reflection.Children lack of family warmth/The school was less attention,Easy to their feelings on transferred to their peers,Formation of the same or the opposite sex"Highly emotional rely on".Family education and school education combined,Help your child is beneficial to the healthy development of the emotion.

　　（为保护未成年人，文中小学生均为化名）

(For the protection of minors,The pupils are alias)