那天，一个初一学生的家长打来电话，说她13岁的女儿现在简直就像变了一个人，以前乖巧的孩子现在变成了“刺头”，不管有理没理，凡事都要和家长顶上几句嘴，还动不动就躲进自己的屋子里，写完作业就看言情小说，这样下去一个好孩子不就毁了吗？

That day,A new moon students' parents call,Said she 13 year old daughter now is just like was a changed man,Clever children before is now a"tartar",No matter rational have no reason,All things are to the top and parents a few words of mouth,Also always hide in his house,After finishing the homework see love novels,If it goes on like this, a good child not destroyed?

　　目前，青春期阶段学生问题非常突出，有的表现得非常叛逆，有的则迷恋网络、厌学，有的早早谈起恋爱，有的情绪起伏多变，还有的崇尚暴力。针对孩子们的转变，家长看在眼里急在心上，苦口婆心好好说吧，人家嫌啰嗦；大发雷霆吧，矛盾一激化孩子就敢离家出走；真是说不得打不得，干着急没办法。

At present,Adolescent stage student problem is very prominent,Some played very rebellious,Others be infatuated with network/Be disgusted,Some early talk about love,Some emotional fluctuation is changeable,Others advocate violence.According to the change of the children,Parents see in the eye urgent in the heart,Saying a good example,People don't think such a windbag;Break into a furious rage,,A sharpened contradictions children dare to run away from home;Someone is not playing,Worried can't.

　　其实，种种青春期问题都和孩子的发展阶段密切相关。我们通常把十一二至十三四岁称为少年期，十四五至十七八岁称为青年初期，这两个阶段合称为青春期。一般来讲，孩子进入青春期后，生理和心理都发生着巨大的变化，一方面他们的身体发育迅速成熟，生理表现出成人化特点；另一方面他们的自我意识觉醒，心理上极度渴望独立。生理和心理的快速发展和相对失衡，就导致他们在父母、师长眼中的转变。

In fact,A variety of adolescent problems and the development of the child closely related to the stage.We usually pack 1012 to 14-year-olds called juvenile period,14 or 15 to seventeen or eighteen called early youth,The two stage known collectively as adolescence.Generally speaking,After the child enters adolescence,Physiological and psychological occurred a great change,On one hand, their physical development mature quickly,Physiological show ChengRenHua characteristics;On the other hand their self-awareness awakening,Psychological is desperate to independent.The rapid development of physiology and psychology and relative imbalances,It leads to their parents in/The transformation of teachers eyes.

　　历届新东方家庭教育高峰论坛都会针对青春期问题给予诠释和引导，可惜的是，还是有些家长不了解孩子的发展规律和特点，不清楚正确的家庭教育思路，没有掌握正确、有效的沟通及解决问题的方法，因此在家庭生活中难免会出现不和谐音符，甚至导致亲子关系剑拔弩张。

Successive new Oriental family education peak BBS will give for adolescent problems interpretation and guide,unfortunately,Or some parents don't know the child's development regularity and characteristics,Don't know the correct family education ideas,No master correct/Effective communication and the methods to solve the problems,So in family life will inevitably be not harmonious notes,Even cause parenthood at swords' points.

　　对此，北京四中校长刘长铭曾给出一个方法——教育者有的时候就是要眼睛里揉得进沙子。他在参加新东方家庭教育高峰论坛时曾经举过这样一个例子：20年前他当班主任时，曾发现一个男生座位里有两本关于夫妻生活的书。他找男生谈话，男生坦白说：“我非常好奇，就是想看一看。”刘长铭没有因此大惊小怪，也没觉得那个孩子品德有问题，仅仅是淡化解决了。他在总结这件事时说，如果当时小题大做地反映给学校，老师们轮番找那个学生谈话，一定要谈出内心深处的东西的话，可能就把这个孩子给毁了。正因为刘校长眼睛里揉进了这粒沙子，这个男生才得以正常发展，时至今日，已经事业有成。

this,Beijing 4 the principal LiuChangMing has given a method, the educators sometimes is to rub eyes have into the sand.He took part in the new Oriental family education peak BBS at once for such an example:20 years ago when he is on duty director,Once found a boy in the seat two book about husband and wife life book.He found the boy talk,Boy frankly:"I am very curious,Just want to have a look."LiuChangMing not so a storm in a teacup,Also didn't think the child character has a problem,Is only to solve the desalination.He said after summing up this matter,If at that time make a mountain out of a molehill to reflect to the school,Teachers take turns looking for the student conversation,Must get to the heart of the thing,May put the child to ruin.Because of LiuJiaoChang eyes knead into the grain of sand,The boy to normal development,today,Has a successful career.

　　这是一种教育的宽容，我们做家长的首先要相信孩子有分辨事非的能力，通过思考，他们能把一些事情想明白，从中悟出一些道理。因此，面对青春期孩子，家长要学会智慧地淡化处理一些看不惯的事情，因为过分地关注孩子的一时的错误或夸大事件的不良后果会影响孩子独立人格的建立。

This is a kind of education tolerance,We do the parents we must first believe that children have the ability to distinguish wrong,By thinking,They can put some things want to understand,To realize some truth.therefore,In the face of adolescence children,Parents should learn to the wisdom to desalination with some can't bear to see things,Because too much attention to the child's moment of error or exaggerate event bad consequences can affect a child the establishment of independent personality.

　　家庭教育贵在亲子关系的和谐和快乐，在孩子青春期这个特殊的成长阶段，家长切忌言行过激、捕风捉影，而是要保持宽容和平和的心态，打造温暖的家庭氛围，为孩子一生的幸福与成功奠定基础。

Family education is the parent-child relationship harmony and happiness,In the child adolescent this special growth stage,Parents don't words and deeds extremist/shadow,But to be tolerant and peace of mind,Create a warm family atmosphere,For a child's life happiness and success lay the foundation.