《6年后我将收获怎样一个孩子——开学一月摧垮家长坚持6年的教育观》这篇家长自述刊登后，引起众多家长的共鸣，也引起很多老师的关注，与此同时，也把敏感的家校矛盾问题推上了风口浪尖。

[Six years later I will harvest how a child - on January destroy parents insist on six years of education]This article parents complain after published,Many parents caused by the resonance,Also causes a lot of the teacher's attention,meanwhile,The sensitive parent-school problem bolted the in the teeth of the storm.

　　“如今的家长们只要聚在一起，最常做的一件事就是抱怨学校、抱怨老师、抱怨教育。”一位小学生家长说。另一方面，老师们普遍对家长也有不满，认为现在的家长太娇惯孩子，要求也太多。

"Today's parents as long as together,Most frequently do one thing is to complain about the school/Complain that the teacher/Complain that the education."An elementary student parents say.On the other hand,Teachers common for parents also have dissatisfaction,Think now of the parents too spoil the child,Demand too much.

　　不可否认，家长和老师及学校之间存在一条鸿沟，而且，这条鸿沟是隐形的，因为，站在鸿沟两端的人并非不沟通、不交流，他们用自己的方式向“对岸”传递着信息，但是又彼此互不信任，在不信任基础上搭建起来的“桥梁”随时都有坍塌的可能。

undeniable,Parents and teachers and school exist between a gap,and,This article divide is invisible,because,Standing in the both ends of the gap not does not communicate/Don't communicate,They use their own way to"The other side"Transfer the information,But each other and trust each other,Distrust in based on the build up"bridge"At any moment the possibility of collapse.

　　“自从我给班级作了贡献，老师对我客气多了”

"Since I give the class made a contribution,The teacher to me much more polite"

　　当了家长就要忙着为班里作“贡献”，以换取老师对自己孩子的关注和照顾，如今这成了城市中小学极为普遍的现象。

When the parents will be busy for of a class"contribution",In exchange for the teacher to their children's attention and care,Now it became a city elementary and middle schools is very common phenomenon.

　　最近，北京的刘女士就在这件事上颇感力不从心。

recently,Beijing's liu in this thing was ability not equal to one's ambition.

　　刘女士在出版社工作，女儿9月刚上小学。开学没几天，家长们就自发成立了一个家长委员会，刘女士就在其中。

Liu in the press work,Daughter September just elementary school.A few days the,Parents spontaneous established a committee of parents,Liu is in them.

　　这是刘女士求之不得的事。

This is the most welcome liu.

　　可是，两次家委会会议后，刘女士发现，如果没能事事想在前面，即使进入了家委会也不意味着自然获得了为班级“作贡献”的机会。

but,Two GuWeiHui after the meeting,Liu found,If can't think everything in front,Even into the GuWeiHui does not mean natural won for the class"contribute"opportunity.

　　第一次开会，参会的共有11名家长，加上刘女士只有两个家长空手而来，有的家长拿来了丈量好尺寸的窗帘，有的拿着拖把，有的拿着孩子冬天挂大衣的衣架。一看这阵势，刘女士颇感不安，但看到还有一位家长跟自己一样，才稍稍安心。

The first meeting,There are 11 of the parents,And madam liu only two parents come empty-handed,Some parents brought the measure good measure curtain,Some with a mop,Some took the children hang winter coat hangers.A look at this appearance,Liu culture´,But see another parents with himself,Just just a little ease.

　　没想到，会议结束的时候，空手而来的家长变成只剩下刘女士一位了，原来跟她“作伴”的那位，趁着大家讨论的时候打了几个电话，没多久，若干盆绿色植物送到教室，每个窗台上都点缀了绿色。

Didn't expect,At the end of the meeting,Empty-handed to parents become only liu a the,With her original"company"the,When the discussion made some phone calls,It didn't take long,Some greenery is sent to the classroom,Each window ornament is the green.

　　“我根本想象不出来，这些家长是用什么时间摸清了班里的情况，他们拿来的东西不仅是班里急需的，同时还是尺寸、大小、样式正好的。”刘女士说。

"I never imagine not to come out,These parents is to use what time of the class,They took the things is not only urgent in the class,At the same time or size/size/Style of just."Liu said.

　　为了能讨好班里的老师，家长们确实在使出浑身解数。送礼、送钱是最没有创意的招数，最让人羡慕的是，能找到帮老师解决难题的机会。

In order to please the teacher in the class,Parents do use all one's skill.gifts/Send money is the most no creative way,The most envy letting a person is,Can find to help the teacher to solve the puzzle of the opportunity.

　　云南的陈女士就抓到了这样一次机会。

Yunnan's ms. Chen to catch such a chance.

　　“十一”长假前，老师告诉家长班里要做墙报，不仅需要艺术设计，同时还要进行专业的、大篇幅的打印，希望有能力的家长帮忙。

"eleven"Before long,The teacher told the parents in the class to do wall newspaper,Not only need art design,At the same time will be professional/Big space print,Hope to have the ability of parents for help.

　　结果，很多家长都纷纷表示可以承担，陈女士也报名了。

The results,Many parents are expressed can bear,Ms. Chen also signed up.

　　不过，陈女士心里很忐忑，因为她既没学过艺术也不是搞设计的，没想到，老师最后把这个差事交给了她。

but,Ms. Chen in the in the mind be very,Because she is not learned art also not make design,Didn't expect,The teacher finally put the job over to her.

　　接到任务后，陈女士找到自己一个朋友帮忙，整整一个星期，设计、修改、再设计、再修改，终于完成了任务。为了表示感谢，陈女士给了朋友500元。

Received task,Ms. Chen found one of your friends for help,For a whole week,design/modification/To design/To modify,Finally finished the task.In order to thank,Ms. Chen gave friends 500 yuan.

　　家长付出了金钱、精力等“努力”后，必然渴望得到回报。

Parents pay the money/Energy, etc"efforts"after,Will eager to return.

　　“墙报每学期才更换一次，这种一年只有两次的机会多么难得呀。”陈女士很是兴奋，更让陈女士兴奋的是，自从墙报贴到墙上之后，老师对她的态度有了很大的转变，从原来的不冷不热变成现在的客气、热情。

"Wall newspaper each semester to replace a,This year only two time opportunity how rare ah."Ms. Chen is very excited,More let ms. Chen is excited,Since the wall newspaper posted after the wall,The teacher to her attitude had the very big change,From the original neither hot nor cold become now the kind/enthusiasm.

　　“老师对我的态度客气多了，我想她对我儿子也不会差的。”陈女士充满期待。

"The teacher of my attitude much more polite,I think she to my son also not bad."Ms. Chen full of expectation.

　　“家长每天不要总琢磨怎么给老师送礼或者请吃饭，有那个工夫不如多陪陪孩子”

"Parents don't always consider every day how to give the teacher a gift or please to have a meal,Have the time as spending more time with children"

　　“我很能理解家长的这种期待，我也刚当了妈妈，也希望将来我的孩子能受到老师的关注。”山东东营一所小学的一年级班主任李丽（化名）老师说。

"I'm can understand the parents of this kind of look forward to,I also just when his mother,Hope future my child to receive the teacher's attention."Shandong dongying a primary school in the first grade teacher in charge lili(alias)The teacher said.

　　一位北京的老师说，刚刚过去的中秋节，不少家长都给老师送了月饼，尤其是那些“关键年级”的老师收到的礼物更多，而且不少家长在月饼盒里夹带着东西，据说有电话卡、购物卡、礼品卡。

A Beijing's teacher said,Just past the Mid-Autumn festival,A lot of parents to the teacher sent the moon cake,Especially those who"Key grade"Teacher has received gifts more,And a lot of parents in the moon cake box carry secretly is worn things,It is said that a phone card/Loyalty card/Gift card.

　　但其实，大多数老师并不像家长想象的那样，只有收了家长的礼物才会对孩子好。只要是稍有些教育理想的老师就会希望看到自己教的孩子取得进步，“我更希望家长每天不要总琢磨怎么给老师送礼或者请吃饭，有那个工夫不如多陪陪孩子。”李丽老师说，“关注一下孩子的情况，针对老师提出的问题进行教育和有针对性的改进，其实是对老师更大的支持。”

But in fact,Most of the teachers do not like parents expected,Only accepted the gift of the parents will be good for children.As long as it is a little some education an ideal teacher will want to see oneself teach children to make progress,"I hope every day more parents don't always wondering how to give the teacher a gift or please to have a meal,Have the time as spending more time with children."Lili teacher said,"Pay close attention to the child's condition,According to the teacher's questions on education and targeted improvement,The teacher is actually more support."

　　北京一位姓冯的小学老师介绍。现在的家长走两个极端，一种是一门心思琢磨给老师送礼的，一种是一门心思给老师挑刺的。前些日子，冯老师所在的小学出了这样一件事，一个男生在体育课上打同学，下课时老师让这个孩子站在操场上“自我反省”，家长来接孩子的时候，老师还在教育他。结果这个妈妈第二天找到了校长，让那位体育老师为“体罚”孩子而向自己道歉，这位妈妈还找了好几个家长来见证这个过程。

Beijing a surname feng primary school teacher introduction.Now parents go two extremes,One kind is one-track mind thinking of a gift to the teacher,One kind is one-track mind to the teacher the nagging.The other day,Von teacher in primary school out of such a thing,A boy playing in physical education students,The end of the class the teacher let the child standing on the playground"self-examination",Parents to meet a child,The teacher is still in education he.Results the mother the next day found the headmaster,Let the PE teacher for"Corporal punishment"Children and to his apology,The mother had been looking for it for parents to witness this process.

　　体育老师虽然也觉得委屈，不过还是在那位妈妈的强烈要求下，道了歉。后来这位妈妈把当天发生的事情放到了家长的QQ群中，很多家长向学校提出希望更换体育老师。

Sports teacher although also feel wronged,But in the mother under the strong demand,apologized.Then the mother what happened the day on the parents in the QQ group,Many parents put forward to want to change school PE teacher.

　　“现在不像以前了，有时候真的不敢管学生，孩子在家里随口讲的一句话都有可能引来家长到学校一番理论。”冯老师说，所以，她现在除了留作业、开家长会，尽可能避免和家长进行单独的、太深入地沟通。

"Now do not like before,Sometimes, I really can't tube students,The child in the home freely speak a word may draw of the parents came to the school a theory."Von teacher said,so,She is now in addition to leave work/The meeting,As far as possible to avoid and parents alone/Too deep communication.

　　放弃对立才有可能取得信任 Give up opposition can be trust him

　　家长对老师的尊敬是出于功利的目的，老师对家长的客气藏着“敬而远之”的心理，家校矛盾就来自这种互相的不信任上。

Parents to the teacher's respect is from utilitarian purpose,The teacher to the home long kind hiding"At a respectful distance"psychological,The family school contradiction came from the mutual mistrust.

　　互相不信任，“家长和教师都各负一半的责任。”江苏省特级教师王栋生说，既然把孩子交给了学校，家长就要尽可能少对学校的教育进行干预，“让学校安静点儿，把对学校监督的责任交给社会，交给专门的机构。”

Mutual distrust,"Parents and teachers are all negative half of the responsibility."Jiangsu superfine teacher WangDong student said,Now that the children to school,Parents will be less as far as possible to the school education intervention,"Let the school quiet some,To the school supervision and responsibility to society,To specialized institutions."

　　复旦大学博士、教育学者付小平也认为，现在的家长太“宝贝”孩子了，哪怕受了一点点委屈都不行，“这其实是把孩子看成了自己的私有财产，剥夺了孩子自己面对社会的机会。”付小平说，其实，孩子只有经历过挫折才能知道如何避免挫折，只有经历过伤害才能学会如何躲过伤害，“只有经历才能让孩子成长。”

Fudan university dr./Education scholars FuXiaoPing also think,Now parents too"baby"children,Even if by a little injustice all not line,"It is the child as his own private property,Deprived children face the social opportunities."FuXiaoPing said,In fact,The child only experienced setbacks can know how to avoid setbacks,Only experienced hurt to learn how to avoid damage,"Only experience to be able to let children to grow up."

　　“在遇到问题时，双方都不能以对立的心态来解决。尤其家长，既要看到教师的有限性，又要明白教师对孩子深刻的影响，所以不要激化矛盾。家长及老师如何处理彼此间的分歧，本身就是一种教材，孩子在旁边会看得很清楚，也会学到些东西。”教育专家、畅销书《好妈妈胜过好老师》的作者尹建莉说，理性的态度才能有助于家长作出正确的选择。

"In the problem,Both sides can't to opposing attitude to solve.Especially parents,Should not only see the limitation of teachers,And to understand the teacher to profound influence on children,So don't become acute contradiction.Parents and teachers how to deal with the differences between each other,Itself is a kind of teaching material,The children beside will see clearly,Also can learn something."Education experts/bestseller[A good mother is better than a good teacher]The author of the YinJianLi said,Rational attitude to help parents make the right choice.

　　“在女儿的教育上，经常会遇到不赞同老师做法的时候，无关紧要的小事情，有可能妥协；在一些根本性的问题上，不妥协。比如老师用写作业来惩罚孩子，我是绝不会让这种事情发生的，因为它会终身性地损害孩子的学习兴趣。但不妥协并不意味着和老师形成对立关系，我会尽可能寻找一种恰当的方式解决，哪怕这个方式看起来有些匪夷所思。”尹建莉说，“当然这一切首先要建立在家长拥有一个科学的教育观上。”

"In the daughter's education on,Often meet do not agree with the teacher practice time,Insignificant little things,May compromise;In some fundamental problems,Do not compromise.Such as the teacher write operation to punish the child,I never let this happen,Because it will ZhongShenXing damage to the child's interest in learning.But don't compromise does not mean and the teacher obversion relationship,I'll try to find an appropriate way to solve,Even if this way looks some fantastic."YinJianLi said,"Of course all this first to be built on the parents have a scientific education on."

　　放弃对立，家长和学校、教师之间还是能进行良好沟通的，因为“家长和老师的目的是一致的，都是希望能把孩子教育好。”付小平说。

Give up opposition,Parents and school/Between teachers can still well communication,because"The purpose of the parents and teachers are the same,Is all hope to be able to take the children education well."FuXiaoPing said.

　　付小平建议，现在很多学校尤其是大中城市的学校都已经具备比较完备的网络平台，学校完全可以把这个平台向家长开放，家长对学校对老师有意见和建议时，可以及时发布到平台上，学校不仅可以及时地向家长公布各种信息，同时教师也可以对学校和班级的一些举措进行及时解释。

FuXiaoPing Suggestions,Now a lot of school, especially the large and medium-sized city schools have a comparatively complete network platform,The school can put this platform offering open,Parents to school teacher have opinions and advice,Can timely release to the platform,Schools not only can timely by offering all kinds of information,At the same time, the teacher can also to schools and classes, some measures to explain in time.

　　“现在学校之所以不愿意做这个事，其实是怕家长进行太多的负面情绪的宣泄。”付小平说，“其实，‘堵’不如‘疏’，家长的焦虑释放了，很多矛盾也就好解决。”(樊未晨)

"Now the school are not willing to do this thing,Is actually afraid of parents too much of a negative emotional catharsis."FuXiaoPing said,"In fact,‘plugging’as‘hydrophobic’,Parents' anxiety released,Many contradictions also good solve."(Fan not morning)