如今，“虎妈”、“狼爸”一类的家长层出不穷，教育方式在中国家长中似乎出现了两个极端，有的一味地宠溺夸赞，有的则标榜“棍棒底下出才子”。追访美国三兄弟在中国一个多月的游学之旅，妈妈叶塞尼亚的种种做法好像也有“狼妈”之嫌：家境富裕，却让孩子们睡蒸笼一般的宿舍，顿顿面条，凉水冲澡，学武术摔得浑身是伤……这是为了锻炼孩子意志故意给他们找罪受吗？叶塞尼亚并不这么想，对她和他们一家来说，这是一种很自然的生活方式，她的口头语是：“很艰苦，但是很有意思！”让孩子们经历各种生活，各种环境，这本身就是一种生活的乐趣。然而，她的想法在中国却屡屡碰壁，这让她有点迷茫，而这正反映了两种教育理念的碰撞。

now,"Tiger mother"/"The Wolf dad"Kind of parents emerge in endlessly,Education in China in the way parents seemed to have two extremes,Some blindly pet drowned acclaim,Others flaunt"Under the club the mastermind".After visiting the United States three brothers in China for more than a month of travel trip,Mother leaf plug a variety of Virginia practice also seems to have one"The Wolf mom"too:rich,But let the children sleep steamer general dormitory,Repeatedly noodles,Cold water ChongZao,Learn martial arts fall to bathe in injury...This is to train children will deliberately give them looking for SINS?Leaf plug California don't think so,To her and they a speaking,This is a very natural way of life,She is the colloquial English:"Very hard,But it's fun!"Let the children experience various kinds of life,Various environmental,This itself is a kind of life of fun.however,Her idea in China is nationhood,This make her a little confused,And it reflects on two kinds of education idea of the collision.

寻找寄宿家庭 Looking for host family

北京家长无人应 Beijing parents no one should be

　　叶塞尼亚带领三个儿子的中国游学之旅进行了一个多月，从上海辗转河南，最后一站是北京，本来他们打算在什刹海体育学校继续学习一段时间的武术，却因为在北京没有找到合适的寄宿家庭而不得已取消了这个计划。

Virginia leaf plug lead three sons of Chinese travel trip for more than a month,From Shanghai toss henan,The last station is Beijing,Originally they intend to lakes in sports schools continue to learn a period of martial arts,But because in Beijing did not find the right host family and forced to cancel the plan.

　　记者一直帮助叶塞尼亚在微博上寻找寄宿家庭，从中发现了中外家长观念的差异。

Reporters have been helping Virginia leaf plug in micro blog search for host family,Find the differences between Chinese and foreign parents concept.

　　一听说是三个美国男孩寻找在北京寄宿的家庭，很多家长都表示了很大的兴趣，纷纷询问具体情况，但最终却没有一家真正把他们接进家门。他们的顾虑是：“三个孩子住在家里，起码要给他们单独的房间或者一个比较大的房间，准备三张床，照顾好他们的饮食起居。”不少家长觉得自家条件不够好、地方不够大而打消了这个念头。

A heard that is three American boy looking for host family in Beijing,Many parents are expressed a keen interest,Ask specific conditions in succession,But in the end did not a truly they tap into the house.Their concern is:"Three children living in the home,At least want to give them separate room or a larger room,Prepare three beds,Take good care of their dietary daily life."Many parents feel that their condition is not good enough/Place is not big enough and dropped the idea.

　　实际上，叶塞尼亚和孩子们对寄宿条件的要求非常低，“孩子们可以睡客厅，睡沙发，打地铺，这些我们都尝试过，甚至以前我们还在人家院子里搭帐篷寄宿，我们需要的只是一个落脚的地方，孩子们生活都完全可以自理，并不需要特别的照顾。”

In fact,Leaf plug California and children to boarding conditions for very low,"The children can sleep sitting room,Sleep on the couch,On the floor,These we all tried,Even before we also in somebody else's yard pavilion boarding,What we need is also an ideal place,The children live can self-care,Do not need special care."

　　和中国孩子出国游学动辄住五星级酒店不同，叶塞尼亚带着三个儿子在世界各地旅行，几乎从来没有住过酒店，对她来说，全世界的五星级酒店都是一个模样，有什么意思呢？寄宿家庭、学校宿舍这些地方是他们的首选，在这些地方能迅速融入当地人的生活，结交新朋友，这些正是旅行最大的乐趣。河南武术学校的宿舍并不是他们住过的最简陋的地方，在妈妈的带领下，孩子们已经习惯于自己动手，因陋就简，打理好自己的生活。

And the Chinese children abroad for travel frequently live different five-star hotels,Virginia leaf plug with three sons in travel all over the world,Almost never live hotel,For her,The world hotel is a shape,What is the point?Host family/School dormitory these places is their first choice,In these places can quickly into the local people's life,Make new friends,These is the greatest pleasure of travel.Henan martial arts school dormitory and not they lived the most humble place,In the mother's lead,The children have already been used to yourself,roughing,Do your own life.

不求安逸享受 Not ease enjoy

异域生活苦为乐 The foreign life a pain for a pleasure

　　叶塞尼亚告诉记者，她一直酷爱旅行，有了三个儿子之后，带着他们走世界更成了一家人的兴趣。她的丈夫斯蒂文毕业于哈佛医学院，现在是资深儿科专家，收入不菲，他们有条件享受相当奢侈的生活，但是她和孩子们选择了另外一种生活方式。“当我丈夫在加利福尼亚工作时，我自己带着三个幼小的孩子生活在千里之外的哥斯达黎加海边。每天要骑着马去市场上买菜，尘土飞扬。左边挎个大兜兜着Kekoa，右边挎个小兜兜着Kikko，Nakai坐在我前面，最前面还得留点儿地方放菜。家里没有冰箱，没有电视，吼猴在窗外叫个不停，半米长的大蜥蜴在铁皮房顶上跑来跑去，有时好几只在上面打架，可吵了！”问她为什么要这样，她说：“异域生活很艰苦，但是真的非常有意思！”

Virginia leaf plug told reporters,She had always been fond of travel,After the three sons,Take them away the world more became interested in the family.Her husband Steven graduated from harvard medical school,Is now a senior paediatrician,Income does not poor,They have conditions enjoy quite a life of luxury,But she and her children chose another way of life."When my husband work in California,I took three young children living in the sea miles away of costa rica.Every day to ride a horse to go to market to buy food,dust.The left over a big for the Kekoa,The right over a little afraid of the Kikko,Nakai sitting in front of me,The front have to leave some place to put food.Home no refrigerator,No TV,Howler monkey in the window keep call,Half a meter long tuatara in sheet metal running on the roof,Sometimes several only above fight,Can be noisy!"Ask her why,She said:"The foreign life is tough,But really very interesting!"

　　她讲到2008年初到北京的时候，她和孩子们都不会说汉语，把孩子送进国际学校会省很多力气，但她却打算把孩子送到普通的小学和幼儿园。“来中国却要上国际学校，天天说英语，那还有什么意思！”当时，他们全家五口人掌握的中文全加在一块，也不过三个：“你好”、“谢谢”和“美国人”，叶塞尼亚坚持了自己的想法，三个孩子很快适应了中国的生活，并学了一口流利的汉语。

She said at the beginning of 2008 to Beijing,She and the children are not speak Chinese,Send their children to international school will save a lot of strength,But she is going to send their children to the regular primary and kindergarten."To come to China but want to go to the international school,Speak English every day,That what you mean!"At that time,Their family five people grasp of the language QuanJia on a,Also however three:"hello"/"thank you"and"americans",Virginia leaf plug to his ideas,Three children quickly adapted to the Chinese life,And learned fluent Chinese.

　　在新西兰，他们经常到森林里露营，搭帐篷的任务是三个孩子独立完成的。“他们大了，应该帮大人做些事情。”叶塞尼亚说。撤离的时候，行李装进大包后，爸爸爬上车顶，让孩子们把那些大包举给他。这几个包都挺重，不过孩子们喊着号子还是一个一个地举了上去。最后只剩下最重的那个，他们使出吃奶的劲儿只能抬离地面。三个孩子站在那里商量了一阵儿，改变了策略：他们先合力把那个大包抬起来，然后老二老三咬着牙撑住，老大爬到下面，在弟弟们的帮助下，先是用背然后用肩把大包一点一点地顶起来。最后这三个小家伙居然成功地把如此重的大家伙举了上去！

In New Zealand,They often go to the forest camping,Tent task is three children completed independently."Their big,Should help adults do something."Leaf plug Virginia said.Evacuation time,My baggage in the bag,Father climbed up the roof,Let the children put those big; give him.These bags are quite heavy,But the children yelled song or a another lift up.Finally left the heaviest,They use sucking strength can only be carried from the ground.Three children stand there to consult a time,Changed strategy:They first force put the parcel up,Then the old three shored up through clenched teeth,Eldest brother climbed to below,In the help of the brothers,At first with back then use shoulder the big top up bit by bit.Finally the three little guy incredibly successfully put such a heavy big man lift up!

三个半人照顾一个婴儿 Three and a half people take care of a baby

为什么还会喊累 Why will also shout tired

　　这些故事对中国家长来说，似乎有些不可思议，然而中国家长的故事，对叶塞尼亚来说，也同样不可思议。“有一次我去一个朋友家，她的孩子两个半月了。她不用上班，还雇了个保姆，她妈也搬来帮忙，我看她老公一下班就忙着给孩子换尿布洗奶瓶。可三个半人一起照顾一个婴儿，怎么所有的人还都说累得要命呢？在哥斯达黎加，我一个人照顾三个儿子，还有时间在网上自学高级护理课程呢！”

These stories to China for parents,It seems that some incredible,China, however, the story of the parents,To leaf plug for Virginia,Also incredible."Once I go to a friend's house,Her child was two and a half months.She did not have to work,Also hired a nurse,Her mother also moved to help,I see her husband off was busy diaper wash bottles.But three and a half people together to take care of a baby,How to all of the people all say dead tired?In costa rica,I a person to take care of three sons,Still have time online self-study senior nursing course?!"

　　叶塞尼亚说，在北京生活的时候，“小心”和“穿衣服”是他们一家人最先听懂的中文。他们在湖边散步时，每次都有N个中国人好心地对她说：“让孩子小心点儿，多危险啊！”才智的老师打过三次电话，说“让才智妈妈多给孩子穿点衣服！”叶塞尼亚听到这些总是一脸茫然。

Leaf plug Virginia said,When living in Beijing,"Be careful"and"Wear clothes"Is their family first understand Chinese.When they are walking by the lake,Always have a N a Chinese kindly said to her:"Let the children watch out,O how dangerous!"Intelligence teacher played three times on the phone,said"Let intelligence mom give your child to wear clothes!"Virginia leaf plug hear these is always a face of vacant.

　　叶塞尼亚对教育孩子有自己的原则，她认为，只要不伤及甚至是不明显伤及自己或者他人，就不要去约束。叶塞尼亚很喜欢从前那个爱和孩子们疯玩的加拿大籍“男阿姨”乔，对那个在国人看来非常尽职尽责的中国保姆则颇有微词：“她老是对孩子们喊‘不要做这个’、‘不要做那个’，弄得孩子们都不知道该做什么！”她也很委屈：“为什么中国公园的管理人员不让我的孩子们爬树。他们是孩子，是男孩子，应该让他们高高兴兴地玩儿！”

Virginia leaf plug to education children have their own principles,She thinks,As long as it doesn't hurt and even is not obvious hurt yourself or others,Don't go to constraint.Leaf plug California like had the love and the children crazy play of Canadian"Male aunt"Joe,To the people it seems very conscientious Chinese nanny is disapprove:"She's always to the children shouted‘Don't do this’/‘Don't do that’,Make children don't know what to do!"She also very grievance:"Why China park management don't let my children climb a tree.They are children,Is boys,Should let them cheerfully playing!"

　　美国孩子的自由有时候也到了在中国人看来简直是“祸害”的地步。在公共场所乱跑乱跳，满地打滚。在家里，哪怕只有10分钟玩耍时间，他们也要把几大箱子的玩具抬出来，全部倒在客厅地上。父母不嫌乱，但事后他们必须自己收拾好。自己的事情自己做，这是美国家长毫不含糊的！

American children freedom sometimes also came into the Chinese people is simply"scourge"point.In a public place run about disorderly jump,Everywhere dozen roll.At home,Even if only for 10 minutes playing time,They also want to put a few big box of toys carried out,All fall in the sitting room.Parents don't think about,But afterwards they must pick up.Keep your business to yourself,This is the American parents unambiguous!

　　虽然经常对孩子的“胡作非为”视而不见，但叶塞尼亚非常重视的一点，那就是孩子的礼貌！孩子们如果直接说：“给我一杯酸奶”，“我有一个问题”，家长总会严肃地、一字一顿地说：“请给我一杯……”，“对不起，我有一个……”孩子马上明白犯了错误，于是加上“礼貌用语”重复一遍。

Although often to the child"Run amuck"Turn a blind eye to,But Virginia leaf plug attach great importance to the point,That is the child's polite!The children if direct said:"Give me a cup of yogurt","I have a question",Parents always seriously/Said a word to:"Please give me a glass of...","I'm sorry,I have a......"The child right away that made a mistake,Then add"Polite expressions"repeat.

　　带着一点迷茫和遗憾，没能在什刹海体校学习武术，叶塞尼亚和她的三个儿子离开了中国，结束了他们的游学之旅。（张鹏 孙炎）

With a little confused and regret,Can't in shishahai sports school learning martial arts,Leaf plug California and her three sons left China,They finished their travel trip.(SunYan zhang)