“借上心理课的机会悄悄传输性知识” "Borrow psychology courses opportunity silently transmission sexual knowledge"

　　“摸奶门”、“轮奸门”、“厕所门”、“90后艳照门”……如果去百度搜索一下与青少年有关的情色事件，或许我们会发现，这样的案例比比皆是。

"Touch milk door"/"Gang rape door"/"Bathroom door"/"After 90 yan zhao door"...If to baidu search and teenagers about erotic event,Maybe we will find,Such cases can be found everywhere.

　　这些曾经让成年人们目瞪口呆的事件，往往会引发网友们的痛骂和人肉，但是却鲜有人想到，这些深涉“情色”事件的孩子们，不管是主动还是被动，都是“中国青春期性教育缺失”的受害者。

These once let adult people flabbergasted event,Often can cause netizens who bawl out and the flesh of man,But few people think of,These deep in"erotic"Events of the children,Either active or passive,are"China's adolescence sex education lack"victims.

　　如果他们掌握了足够的性知识，如果他们懂得保护自己，如果他们没有被情色网站所毒害，或许不会出现这一系列事件。

If they mastered enough sexual knowledge,If they know how to protect themselves,If they were not pornographic web site poisoning,May not appear this a series of events.

　　在中国进入网络时代之前，人们获取性知识的渠道很简单：极少部分开明的家长与老师含蓄的传授，以及学校里“形同虚设”的“青春期生理卫生课”。所以，拉拉手、亲下嘴就会怀孕的笑话比比皆是。

In China before the time into the network,People obtain knowledge of sex channel is very simple:Few enlightened parents and teachers imparting of reservation,And school"eroded"of"Puberty physiological health class".so,LABS hand/Kiss the mouth will be pregnant jokes can be found everywhere.

　　但是当网络出现之后，这种情况变了。

But when the network appeared later,This kind of situation has changed.

　　越来越多的青少年开始通过网络，甚至是情色网站来了解“性”。“虽然没有统计过，但是跟学生们在一起聊天的时候，我发现他们大多看过一些情色影片，也登录过色情网站。”张小燕，国家二级心理咨询师、山东省性学会理事、通纳成长工作室的心理咨询师。同时她还有另一个身份，就是省城某中学的心理咨询师和心理健康课的讲师。

More and more teenagers are through the network,Even erotic web site to understand"sex"."Although there is no statistics over,But with the students together chat of time,I found that most of them have seen some pornographic films,Also login a porn site."Zhang xiaoyan,National secondary psychological consultant/Shandong sexology council member/Pass nano growth studio psychological consultant.At the same time she has another identity,Provincial capital is a middle school psychological consultants and mental health class lecturer.

　　如今的她，正在私下里推动着一个大胆的“性教育”课程，利用给孩子们上心理课的机会，让孩子们去了解、学习一些“性知识”。“学校没干涉过，但我也没去给校长汇报我的授课内容。”张小燕这样解释自己如今的尝试。

Now of she,Are privately push a bold"Sex education"course,Use give children psychology courses opportunities,Let the children to understand/Learn some"Sexual knowledge"."The school had no interference,But I also didn't go to the principal to report my lectures."Zhang xiaoyan such attempt to explain themselves now.

“第一次上课，我也很害羞” "First class,I am also very shy"

　　尽管是心理咨询师，尽管长期从事青少年心理咨询活动，尽管办公室里只有她和记者两个人，但是在与记者聊天的时候，张小燕依然会有些紧张，遇到一些敏感词，她会不由自主的降低自己的声调，甚至直接隐晦的避开某些“术语”。事后，回忆起自己在访谈过程中出现的这些细节，张小燕也有些不好意思：“其实我并不是害羞，而是出于一种深入骨髓的传统文化的熏染，让我下意识的认为在使用某些词语时应该压低声音，或者是避讳开某些词语。”“第一次上课是在去年的五月。”回忆起自己第一次在课堂上给学生们讲授“性知识”，张小燕会很开心的微笑，“第一次上这样的课前自己也很紧张，担心课堂上学生们会起哄。”

Although is psychological consultant,Although long engaged in adolescent psychological consulting activities,Although the office only she and two reporters,But in with reporters chat of time,Zhang xiaoyan will still nervous,Meet some sensitive word,She will involuntarily lower your tone of voice,Even directly Delphic avoid some"term".afterwards,Recall in the interview appeared in the process of the details,Zhang xiaoyan also some bad meaning:"I am in fact not shy,But for a kind of thorough marrow of traditional culture of happiness,Let me subconscious thought in the use of certain words should be low voice,Or is taboo open some words.""First class is in the last may."Recall his first in class teaching to the students"Sexual knowledge",Zhang xiaoyan will be very happy smile,"First time on such oneself also very nervous before class,Worry about class students will kick up a fuss."

　　其实张小燕的授课内容很简单，就是告诉孩子们性是怎么回事，高中年龄阶段性好奇与性冲动的合理性，以及如何在发生性行为时保护好自己。她还准备了一部由柴静主持的《新闻调查：长大未成人》的录像。“希望可以通过片子里的案例，让孩子们更加了解自己，了解科学的性知识。自我保护能力是孩子们应该认识并掌握的。”

Zhang xiaoyan actually teaching content is very simple,Is to tell the children sex is how to return a responsibility,High school age stage curiosity and the rationality of the sex impulse,And how to 15-year-olds protect yourself.She also prepared a hosted by ChaiJing[News survey:Grow up without adult]video."The hope can through the film in the case,Let the children learn more about themselves,Understand the scientific sexual knowledge.The self-protection ability is children should know and master."

　　尽管上课前做好了充分的准备，尽管仍然会有一点羞涩，但是在第一次上性教育课时，张小燕还是故作镇静地张开了嘴，也许只有她自己才能体会自己是如何当着班里几十个孩子，讲出与“性”有关的知识是一件多么困难的事情：“第一句话是：‘今天我们上一节有一点点特殊的课，但我知道也是你们渴望的课，我们来聊聊有关性别的那点事’，我还是用了迂回的方式，但我手心和背上还是渗出了一层汗。”

Although before class done well prepared,Although there will still be a little shy,But in the first time on sex education classes,Zhang xiaoyan or so calmly opens his mouth,Perhaps only she can realize how in the presence of a few children in the class,Speak out and"sex"The pursuit of knowledge is a how difficult things:"The first sentence is:‘Today we on one day a little special class,But I know is your desire to class,We come to talk about sex that something’,I still use the indirect way,But my palms and back or bleeding in a layer of sweat."

　　张小燕甚至还停了几秒钟，准备出给学生们“炸锅”的时间。班里的确有了一点骚动，大家惊奇而好奇的私语了几句后，都齐刷刷地抬头看着她，眼里满是期盼与渴望。

Zhang xiaoyan even stopped a few seconds,Prepared to give the students"Deep fryer"time.In the class have a commotion,We surprised and curious whisper after a few words,All together brush to looked up at her,Eyes is full of hope and desire.

　　一节课下来，张小燕发现这节课的效果出乎意料好，学生们的专注和认真让她非常感叹，“其实孩子们真的很需要这方面的知识，他们需要科学的引导，只是我们不敢讲。”

A lesson down,Zhang xiaoyan found this lesson effect surprisingly good,The students attention and serious let her very exclamation,"In fact the children really need this knowledge,They need scientific guide,We just can't speak."

“网站学来的性知识好多是错误的” "Web site to learn a lot of sexual knowledge is wrong"

　　在《心理健康课》中加入一些青春期性教育知识，对于张小燕来说并不是一件容易的事儿，因为她缺乏教材。“现在国家定制的教材里，有《生理卫生》，但是这些知识太生硬了，已经无法满足学生真正的需要。他们需要更入心的讲析，更切实的知识，他们需要人性温暖下的科学。”

in[Mental health class]To add some adolescent sex education knowledge,Zhang xiaoyan for is not an easy thing,Because of her lack of teaching materials."Now the country's custom in the teaching material,have[Physiological health],But these knowledge too hard in,Has been unable to meet the real needs of the students.They need more into the heart speaking analysis,The more practical knowledge,They need a warm human nature of science."

　　因此，她只能自己进行备课，通过参考国外同龄孩子的性教育课程，再结合身边孩子遇到的一些性问题进行讲授。“有时候我也会上网浏览一些网站，但是越看越惊心，因为很多网上的性知识是非主流的，甚至是错误的。”

therefore,She can only own lessons,Through the reference of foreign age child sex education curriculum,Combine children meet around some of the sexual problems in teaching."Sometimes I surf the Internet browsing web sites,But more looks is more inhumanity hurts,Because a lot of online sexual knowledge is the mainstream,Even is wrong."

　　在张小燕看来，这些错误的性观念让孩子们受到了很严重的伤害。在2004年，曾有一个女学生找到她，告诉她自己怀孕了：“因为她根本没有掌握到正确的避孕方法。”在听到这个消息后，张小燕只是平静地告诉这个女孩子，如果去做人流，需要哪些手续，该如何调养自己。

In zhang xiaoyan seems,These mistakes of sexual idea let the children received a serious damage.In 2004,There have been a female students find her,Tell her she is pregnant:"Because she didn't grasp the right contraceptive method."In the after hearing the news,Zhang xiaoyan just calmly told the girl,If people to do,What procedure to need,How to take good care of sb.

　　值得一提的是，与自己推行“性教育”课程一样，张小燕事后并没有把女生怀孕的消息透露给校方，也没有告诉孩子的家长：“其实孩子已经受伤了，我不能再让她受到伤害，所以我选择为她保密。”

Be worth what carry is,And their implementation"Sex education"Course as,Zhang xiaoyan afterwards didn't take the girl pregnant news to the school,Also didn't tell the child's parents:"In fact the child has hurt,I can't let her get hurt,So I choose for her secret."

　　但这也让张小燕感受到了压力：“作为一个老师，我必须要让孩子有一个正确的性观念。”

But this also let zhang xiaoyan to feel the pressure:"As a teacher,I must let the child have a correct sexual concept."

“错误的观念，会毁了孩子一辈子” "Wrong idea,Can ruin a child for a lifetime"

　　孟彦曾在坐诊时遇到过一件令他啼笑皆非的事情：曾有一名男性就诊者来找他，在做完检查后才羞答答问孟彦，自己的发育是不是“不健全”，而他认为自己“不健全”的原因是因为自己的身体不如“电影”里的男主角那么强壮和持久。“他根本不知道，那些电影都是多个机位拍摄后进行拼接剪辑成的。”“这其实就是一种错误的性观念，这种错误的性观念会让孩子产生严重的自卑情绪，尤其是男孩子。而这种自卑与不自信不是仅仅局限于单纯的性方面，而是会被带入到他的整个生活，会导致孩子一系列行为、性格的改变，甚至可能会影响到孩子们一生的生命轨迹。”

MengYan was in when ZuoZhen met a made him the funny things:There have been a male issued to find him,In the finish inspection before sheepishly ask MengYan,Their development is"Not perfect",And he thought he"Not perfect"Because your body as"The movie"The actor so strong and lasting."He didn't know that,Those movies are more flight shooting Mosaic clips into.""It is a kind of wrong sex concept,This kind of mistake of sexual idea will let the child have serious inferiority,Especially boys.And this kind of inferiority and self-confidence is not limited to simple sexual,But will be taken to his whole life,Will cause the child to a series of behavior/Personality changes,May even affect children's life path."

　　在张小燕眼里，青春期性健康教育其实就是一场战争，一场由学校、老师、家长们与恶俗性观念争夺孩子的战争，“这场战争的主动权应该在我们手里，我们应该告诉孩子们，性就像饿了要吃、困了要睡一样是我们天然的生理本能，性是人类繁衍生存的必须，性美好而光明，但享受性的同时也必须承担它的责任，当我们无力承担的时候要学会规避，学会保护自己。但是遗憾的是，正常的科学被我们人为地蒙上了过厚的面纱，因为我们千百年来深入骨髓的传统道德文化观念，羞怯让我们把教育的主动权拱手交给了网络，好奇让一批又一批的孩子只能从纷杂的网络中偷偷的搜索他们的困惑。”

In the eyes of zhang xiaoyan,Adolescent sexual health education is actually a war,A by the school/The teacher/Parents and flashily sexual concept for the children's war,"The war's initiative should be in our hands,We should tell the children,Sex is like hungry to eat/Sleepy to sleep as is our natural physiological instincts,Sex is the human reproductive survival must,Sex beautiful and bright,But the enjoyment at the same time also must assume its responsibility,When we cannot afford the time to learn to avoid,Learn to protect themselves.But it is a pity,Normal science has been we factitious ground is covered with a thick veil,Because our one thousand years of thorough marrow of traditional moral culture idea,Shy let us put education initiative to surrender the network,Curious let a group of and a group of children from only mixed network secretly search their confusion."

“关键时刻给孩子校正下方向” "Critical moment for children under correction direction"

　　曾经有过这样一个故事，美国的父母在孩子18岁之后，得知孩子要去约会异性朋友，就悄悄的给孩子们准备上几个避孕套放在书包里。“在中国，这样的家长也许有，但是绝对属于‘非主流’的，更多的是家长老师的严防死守，禁止早恋，禁止约会，其实越是这样，越会增强孩子的逆反心理。我不是提倡中国的家长给孩子们准备什么避孕套，我们可以是给孩子准备几本严谨而有趣的书啊，我们难以张口，那就让他们自学，我相信青春期的孩子有这自学的能力。我们只需要给他提供一个辨别是非的标准。哪些是你可以做的，哪些是你暂时还不能做的；哪些性行为是正确的，哪些性行为是错误的甚至是会伤害到自己的。”张小燕这样解释。如今，张小燕的孩子已经上了大学，在孩子处于青春期时，张小燕的丈夫主动承担起了给孩子做青春期教育的问题：“主要是告诉孩子该如何判断自己的身体变化，如何保护自己的身体。”

There once was a story,American parents in children after 18 years of age,That child going to dating friends,For the children it quietly preparing some condoms in the bag."In China,So that parents may have,But absolute belong to‘non-mainstream’of,More are a parent teacher's defend,Prohibit to early love,Banning dating,In fact the more so,More will enhance the child's psychological inversion.I'm not advocating Chinese parents give to their children to prepare what condoms,We can be to prepare children for a few this rigorous and interesting book ah,It is difficult for us to open,That let them self-study,I believe that adolescence children have this self-study ability.We only need to offer him a right from wrong standard.What you can do,What are you temporarily can't do;What sex is correct,What sex is wrong even can damage to their own."Zhang xiaoyan such explanations.now,Zhang xiaoyan child has to the university,In children in adolescence,Zhang xiaoyan husband the initiative to assume the children do puberty education problems:"Main is to tell the children how to judge their own body change,How to protect your body."

　　上了大学之后，儿子反倒是主动跟父母说起自己的一些苦恼：“有一次放假回家，孩子跟我说起他做的一个让他很好奇的梦。我明白那是一个性欲萌动的显示，借助他的讲述，我对孩子的成长和成熟给予了很欣慰的欣赏，同时让他明白他的梦所透露出的愿望。孩子在自尊和自信中接受了自己的青春冲动，困扰他的烦恼自然也就没有了。就像孩子初学驾驶，我负责帮助他明白车的行驶状况，以及刹车、转向的时刻和要领。”在张小燕看来，家长们也应该有这样的一种意识：“保护不是绑住孩子的双腿，不让孩子知道有跑有跳和跑跳的乐趣。只要有安全、信任的环境，人就有向上成长的空间。家长们要相信孩子。”

After the university,Son but is active with the parents about some of his own misery:"Have a holiday home,Children with me about him do a let him very curious dream.I see that it is a sexual bud display,With the aid of his story,I'm a child's growth and maturity to a very gratified appreciate,At the same time let him understand his dream has revealed a wish.Children in self-esteem and self-confidence accepted his youth impulse,Bother him trouble nature also have no.Like children learning to drive,I am responsible for help him understand the car driving conditions,And brake/Steering moment and main point."In zhang xiaoyan seems,Parents should also have such a consciousness:"Protection not tie up the child's legs,Don't let the children know that have run a jump and run jump of fun.As long as there is safety/Environment of trust,People have upward growth space.The parents believe that the child."