曾看过一部关于青少年犯罪的纪实片，目的是通过真实的案例告诫青少年们，生命只有一次，并且没有捷径，要想生命绽放光彩，就要脚踏实地的走好每一步，珍惜自己拥有的一切。如果自己的所作所为偏离了人生轨道，迷失了人生目标，那么就要静下来重新审视自己，不要因一时的疏忽而造成终生的遗憾。同时也给父母们敲响了警钟，父母是孩子一生的榜样，您的一句话一个动作有可能会成就孩子，同样也可能会让孩子失去人生的坐标，而走上不归路。

Ever seen a JiShiPian about juvenile delinquency,Purpose is through the real cases warn teenagers,You have only one life,And there is no shortcut to,To blossom glorious life,Will be down-to-earth walk every step,Cherish all you have.If I did deviated from life orbit,Lost life goal,So will calm down to look at themselves,Do not, for a moment of carelessness and cause lifelong regret.At the same time also to parents was a wake-up call,Parents are their children's life model,Your word an action may have child achievement,Also may let the children lose the life coordinates,And not to return.

　　小川是一位长相帅气的男孩，却不是父母或老师理想中的孩子和学生，经常惹是生非，打架斗殴，为此老师没少批评教育了他，回到家中也是难免挨打受训。

Coulee is a looks handsome boy,But not your parents or teachers ideal children and students,Often ask for trouble,fighting,Therefore the teacher didn't criticize less education him,Home is also hard to avoid beaten trained.

　　其父亲是一位信奉“不打不成材”的严父，只要遇到问题就会对孩子拳脚相加。但是，小川并没有因为父亲的“打”而有所改变，反而是打架的次数越来越多。最终，学校开除了小川。面对被学校开除的儿子，父亲不分青红皂白对孩子就是一顿暴打，母亲看在眼里疼在心里，之前因为教育孩子的问题夫妻间没少吵架。可是，每次其父亲都会振振有词说：“你还让不让我教育孩子了啊，你看你的孩子都成了什么样子了，不打能行吗？”。有一次小川又犯错了，父亲打到失去理智的时候竟然拿起了剪刀使劲的扎向了孩子的屁股，顿时鲜血直流，母亲在拉扯的过程中也被扎在手背上。小川就在这样的家庭教育环境下慢慢的长大，父亲上了年纪，想打也打不动了。对儿子说：“小川啊！你长大了，以后我再也不会打你了，今后只要你不做犯法的事，爱干什么就干什么去吧，你不是喜欢开摩托车吗？我给你买辆车和别人做生意去吧”。

His father is a embrace"Don't play good for nothing"Stern father of,As long as the problem will be to the child with his fists.but,Coulee did not because of his father's"play"And change,But the fight more and more.finally,Dismissed from school coulee.In the face of the son of expelled from school,Father indiscriminately to the child is a suddenly and violently dozen,Mother see in the eye pain in the heart,Because the problem of children education before the couple quarrel not less.but,Every time his father will argue said:"Do you still let me education child ah,You see your child have become what appearance,Don't play can do it?".There is a small sichuan and made a mistake,Father play to lose one's mind when he picked up the scissors slam-bang pierced to the child's bottom,Immediately blood dc,Mother was in the process of pulling was also tie in the back.Coulee in such family education environment slowly grow up,Father's age,Want to play can't move.Said to her son:"Coulee ah!When you grow up,Later I will never play you,In the future as long as you don't do illegal things,To do what he wants to do,You are not like to drive a motorcycle?I give you buy a car and others go to business".

　　小川先去亲戚开的修车行学修车，每天过着无忧无虑的生活。可是，在一次闲逛兜风的时候一不留神撞上了一辆小汽车，幸好没有生命危险，但是，摩托车却完全报废，他开始借朋友的车开，后来嫌麻烦，就由借车转向了偷车，最终和社会上的一些辍学在家的孩子组成了小帮派，专门帮人要钱、打架、抢劫，最终难逃法网，踉跄入狱被判七年徒刑，一个花季少年要面对冰冷的铁窗度过漫长的七年牢狱生活。

Coulee first to relatives open the garage learn car,Every day have a carefree life.but,In a stroll for a ride when one not careful hit a car,Fortunately, dangerous without life,but,Motorcycle is completely ruined,He began to borrow friend's car,Then trouble,By borrow the car to the theft of a car,Finally and social on some of the school children in the home of a small gang,Special people for money/fight/robbery,Will almost certainly the,Bumble prison was sentenced to seven years in prison,A flower young to face the cold bars through long seven years in prison life.

　　这是一个真实的故事，与其说小川是因为做了违法的事情而入狱，不如说，是因为父亲极端的教育方式毁了小川的一生。打骂孩子在今天的家庭教育中依然是主流教育方法，有几位家长没有打过或骂过自己的孩子呢？不管不问同样也是很多家长管用的手法，一旦孩子有了问题，采用一种置之不理的态度对孩子，其实，这是父母的失职，而不是对孩子的宽宏大量。

This is a true story,Rather than coulee because do illegal things went to jail,as,Because father extreme education mode ruined coulee life.Beat and scold children in today's family education still is the mainstream education method,Several parents have not played or scold yourself children??No matter is also not many parents help technique,Once the child has a problem,Use a kind of ignored attitude to the child,In fact,It is the parents' dereliction of duty,And not to the child's generosity.

　　“不打不成才”的错误观念成了助推器

"Not dozen don't become"The wrong idea of a booster

　　早在20世纪30年代，鲁迅在《在上海的儿童》一文中就对中国长期沿袭的粗暴家庭教育方式提出严厉的批评：“终日给以冷遇和呵斥，甚而至于扑打，使孩子畏葸退缩，仿佛一个奴才，一个傀儡，然而父母却美名其曰‘听话’，自以为是教育的成功，待到放他（指孩子）到外面来，则如暂出樊笼的小禽，他绝不会飞，也不会跳。”打孩子不仅仅是让孩子身体受到伤害，更重要的是伤害了孩子的心灵，并且会在孩子的心理上留下不可磨灭的阴影。从心理学角度讲，没有安全感的家庭环境会培养出性格倔强、性情粗暴、行为粗野的孩子，常表现出顽强的抵抗意识，不合群，性格懦弱，并且会产生行为的退缩、自闭的心理，变得软弱、没有主见，胆小怕事。

In the early 1930 s,Lu xun in[Children in Shanghai]In this paper a to China's long-term follow rough family education mode put forward severe criticism:"All day long to cold shoulder and hoot,Even as for thrashed,The child timid retreat,Like a slave,A puppet,But parents but is called the yue‘obedient’,Thinks the success of education,Stay to let him(Refers to children)Come out in the,Is such as temporary out net of small birds,He will never fly,Also won't jump."To beat a child is not only let the child body hurt,More important is to hurt the child's mind,And in the child's psychological an indelible shadow.From a psychological point of view,No security family environment will cultivate a stubborn personality/Temperament rough/Behavior wild child,Often show stubborn resistance consciousness,Don't get on well with others,Character cowardice,And will produce the behavior of the back/Autistic psychological,Become weak/Don't have your own ideas,timid.

　　“树大自然直”的错误心态成了催化剂

"Tree nature straight"Mistake mentality became a catalyst

　　小川父亲的另一种极端的教育方式就是放任自流、置之不理，认为孩子大了就会好了。如果说打孩子是一种暴力的话，那么放任自流和置之不理就是一种软暴力，这种软暴力的杀伤力不亚于打孩子。心理学有一个非常著名哈洛恒河猴的实验，哈洛让幼猴一出生就离开母猴，并且给它们两个替代的母亲，一个是“铁丝妈妈”，一个是“毛绒妈妈”。那些由铁丝妈妈喂食的幼猴们也与温暖、柔软的毛绒妈妈长时间相处，并从它们那儿得到安慰与支持，特别是害怕的时候。结论是身体上的接触有助于增进幼猴与母猴的情感，对于幼猴得到平衡发展、与其他幼猴建立良好关系是相当重要的因素。哈洛并且让部分猴子完全隔离，在铁笼子里长大。一段时间后，将它们与那些正常的方式长大或有替代妈妈照顾的猴子放在一起，结果，被隔离长大的猴子充满了惊恐、不安或是表情冷漠。

Coulee father's another extreme education way is easy/ignored,Think the children will be good.If playing children is a kind of violent words,So let slide and ignore is a kind of soft violence,This soft violence as damage to beat the boy.Psychology has a very famous harlow rhesus monkeys experiment,Harlow let young monkey born from mother monkey,And give them two alternative mother,One is"Wire mother",One is"Plush mother".The mother by wire feeding the young monkey also and warmth/Soft wool long time with mom,And from there they comfort and support,Especially when the fear.Conclusion is physical contact helps improve the young monkey and mother monkey emotions,For the young monkey get balanced development/And the other young monkey establish good relationship is very important factor.Harlow and let part completely isolated monkeys,In iron cage to grow up.After a period of time,They grew up with those in the normal way or alternative mother to take care of the monkey put together,The results,Quarantined grew up monkeys filled with horror/Uneasiness or expression indifferent.

　　放任自流或者置之不理的孩子缺乏安全感，不信任任何人，行为散漫，没有自信，冷漠，不懂得感恩。在这种家庭环境下成长起来的孩子如果没有正确的引导很容易走上犯罪堕落的道路。

Let slide or ignored children lack a sense of security,Don't trust anyone,Behavior on the loose,Without confidence,cold,Do not know how to Thanksgiving.In such a home, the environment of the children growing up without the right guidance is very easy to fall on the way of crime.

　　当小川第一次犯错误的时候，如果父亲不是用打骂的方式对他，而是耐心的去了解事实真相，体会小川的内心感受，帮助小川解决问题，也许小川的命运会是另一种结局。如果父亲采用的方式不是置之不理，而是给孩子营造一份安全、温馨的家庭环境，当孩子遇到困难和问题的时候，父母能够及时的给予孩子支持和帮助，那么，小川也许会成为一位非常优秀的孩子。

When the coulee first make a mistake,If my father not to beat and scold him,But the patient to know the truth,Experience coulee inner feelings,Help coulee solve the problem,Perhaps the fate of the coulee will is another kind of ending.If the father in ways not ignored,But to build a child safety/Warm family environment,When children meet with difficulties and problems,Parents can timely give children support and help,so,Coulee may be a very good children.

　　每一个孩子都是好孩子，没有天生的犯罪因素，只是没有受到很好地教育和引导才会出现差错。英国教育家洛克曾说：“在我们所接触的人中，十分之九都是因为所受的教育不同而成为好人和坏人的，教育造成了人与人之间的差别。”

Every child is a boy,No natural crime factors,Just didn't get a good education and guide will go wrong.English educators Locke said:"We are in contact with people,Nine over ten because by different education and become the good and bad people,Education caused the differences between people."

　　教育孩子是父母们一生不可推卸的责任和义务，更是一项伟大而艰巨的工程，做父母的就是这项工程的设计者和建设者。所以，每一位父母都不要忽视了家庭教育的重要性，只有不断的更新教育观念，改变错误的教育方式，才会培养出优秀的孩子。

Education child is parents life unshirkable responsibility and obligation,It's also a great and arduous project,Do parents is the project designer and builder.so,Every parents don't ignore the importance of family education,Only by constantly update education idea,Change the wrong education mode,Will develop good children.