据英国《新欧华报》报道，英国吸引了一群“望子成龙”的中国父母的眼球，为了让自己的孩子早一步接受“先进”西方教育，与国际接轨，近年来中国小留学生的数量剧增。然而，爱子心切的父母又怎能忍受自己的宝贝疙瘩独在异乡？因此，在英国华人群体里又多了“陪读妈妈”这个成分。

According to the UK[New the China quote]reports,Attracted a group of British"Long to"Chinese parents' eye,In order to let their children accept early step"advanced"Western education,In line with international standards,In recent years, the number of small Chinese students.however,Desperation parents how can I bear your baby a knot in one's alone in a foreign land?so,In the Chinese community in Britain and much more"With my mother"The composition of.

陪子女闯天涯，辛酸总有时 Accompany children rush tianya,Total sometimes bitterness

　　在英国的华人陪读妈妈群体在不断壮大，她们的孩子年纪都很小。据了解，这些孩子刚来英国的平均年龄只有14岁。他们的妈妈在国内大多都有自己的事业。黎女士2007年陪着12岁的儿子来到英国，出国前她在一家企业做高管，待遇不菲。然而当与老公决定送12岁的儿子出国读书后，便毫不犹豫的辞去公司职务，陪儿子来到英国学习。在记者采访过程中，这些陪读妈妈在自己的事业与孩子的未来上都是不约而同，无怨无悔地选择了孩子的未来。她们表示之所以放弃原来的生活，远渡重洋，一方面是为了能让孩子接受到更好地教育，赢在“起跑线”上；另一方面，由于这部分孩子绝大多数是独生子女，父母已经意识到家庭对孩子成长的影响，不希望孩子从小就在“家庭缺失，亲情疏离”的环境中成长。

In the UK Chinese groups in the growing with mother,Their children age is very small.We have learned,The children came to the UK with an average age of only 14 years old.Their mother at home mostly have their own career.Li Nvshi with 12 year old son came to Britain in 2007,Before going abroad she do in a business executive,Treatment does not poor.However, when her husband decided to send 12 year old son to study abroad,Then quit your company without hesitation,To accompany his son to study in the UK.In the process of reporters,These with my mother on her own career and the future of the children are happen to coincide,With no regrets to choose the children's future.They say the reason to give up the original life,The ocean,On the one hand is to let children receive better education,To win in"The starting line"On the;On the other hand,Due to this part of the only-child children mostly,Parents have realize the impact of family for children to grow up,Don't want children grew up in"Lack of family,The family apart"Grow up.

　　但无奈计划总是赶不上变化。曼城华人之家服务的黄女士说：“真的应该多多报道她们，好让社会了解她们(陪读妈妈)。”

But plans always can't keep up with changes.Ms wong says Manchester city home of Chinese service:"They really should be a lot of reports,Good for society to understand them(With my mother)."

　　她介绍说，曼城华人之家开设的英语班就有来自陪读家庭的成员：子女在英语补习班上课，母亲则在成人英语班中学习英语。

She said,City home of Chinese open English class from there with family members:Children in the English cram school class,Mother in adult English class to learn English.

　　她说：“每个陪读家庭的故事都不一样，但是每个家庭的故事都是苦情戏。”其中有一对母子的故事发生在数年前，但却依然叫黄女士记忆犹新：

She said:"With each family's story is different,But each family's story is affliction."There are a pair of mother and child story happened in a few years ago,But it is still called ms wong:

　　大约在十年前，陈女士(化名)作为母亲只身带同年仅12岁的儿子来到英国求学，只求儿子日后学业有成。但是语言对两人所造成的障碍却是预料不及的。抵英后因为语言能力欠佳，儿子的学习成绩同以前相比可谓是一落千丈。于是，除了在主流学校学习之外，陈女士还另外把儿子送到曼城华人之家的英语补习班去上课。

About ten years ago,Ms. Chen(Not his real name)As a mother alone with that same year only 12 years old son to study in Britain,Son for academic success in the future.But bottlenecks caused by the language of two people is expected.Because in Britain after the poor language ability,Son's grades compared with before is collapsed.so,In addition to outside the mainstream school,Chan also send son to other city home of Chinese English cram school go to class.

　　每天儿子上学后，陈女士自己也会学习一些初级英语，但是语言学习无法成为生活的全部，剩余时间由于缺少朋友，陈女士依旧孤独、苦闷。为此，陈女士选择到到中餐馆去做兼职，既能交朋友，也能补贴家用。

After the son to school every day,Chan, oneself also can learn some junior English,But language learning is to be full of life,Remaining time because of a lack of friends,Ms. Chen is still lonely/anguish.To do this,Ms. Chen chose to go to Chinese restaurant to do a part-time job,Can make friends,Can also be subsidies household.

　　虽然有了自己的生活，但母子之间的沟通却少了，关系慢慢出现了裂痕。陈女士有时候晚间外出工作，儿子被迫自己独守在家里，开始沉迷于电脑游戏。由于缺乏沟通，母子前日渐疏离。直至陈女士发现儿子的英语一直没有进步，找到黄女士谈，才痛心地发现自己的儿子只在补习班上过几节课，然后把余下的钱都花到电脑游戏上。她就此把儿子痛批一顿，儿子却反驳，怪责母亲不应送他到英国来学习。

Although there is a life of its own,But less communication between the mother and child,Relationship slowly cracked.Ms. Chen sometimes at night to go out to work,Forced his son alone at home,Began to indulge in computer games.Due to the lack of communication,Mother and son before increasingly alienated.Until ms. Chen son found there has been no progress in English,Find talk to ms wong,Just sad to find his own son, but only a few lessons in cram school,Then put the rest of the money is spent on computer games.She quit her son lambasting a meal,Son counter,Blame my mother should not send him to the UK to study.

　　黄女士说，即便他们母子双方都不愿意继续留在英国，但他们更不愿意回国去，尤其是陈女士她。陈女士觉得自己愧对丈夫，没有颜面回国去面对丈夫和家里的其他亲人，现在只好继续留英，原本的陪读之旅，变成了陪“独”苦情戏。直到后来在黄女士的帮助下，陈女士的儿子重返校园，才让苦情戏没有演变成悲剧。

Ms huang said,Even though they both mother and son don't want to stay in the UK,But they don't want to go home,Ms chan, she especially.Ms. Chen felt live up to her husband,No face to return to her husband and other loved ones at home,Now have to continue to leave Britain,Originally with tour,Turned out to be with"alone"Affliction play.Until later, with the help of ms wong,Chan's son back to school,That affliction play didn't turn into tragedy.

　　陪读妈妈阿萍(化名)和小梅(化名)也有相同的境遇。他们的孩子在寄宿学校上学，周末也不回家。本以为来这边可以更好地孩子，却发现“学校其实什么都有”，自己的存在根本没有多大意义。每天自己一个人在家，看不到孩子也看不到其它家人。

Ah ping with mother(Not his real name)And xiao mi(Not his real name)Also have the same situation.Their children in a boarding school,Also don't go home this weekend.Ben thought that this way can children better,Only to find that"The school actually what has",Their presence doesn't make much sense.At home alone every day,See also can't see the other family members.

　　其实，这种结果并不意外。林女士的孩子出国时已经12岁，他对于原本的国内环境已经有一定的认知和熟悉度。突然来到新环境，语言和思维的不同让孩子的内心情感无法宣泄，所以容易误入歧途。而陈女士的困难更大，语言限制了生活，而现有的生活圈并不能让她得到认同，她背负的责任让她觉得压力重重，而自己的负面情绪也影响到了对孩子的教育，导致如今的结局。

In fact,This is not a surprise.Ms. Lin's child is 12 years old when going abroad,He original domestic environment has certain cognitive and familiarity.All of a sudden came to the new environment,Language and thinking is different to the child's feelings can't vent,So easy to go astray.And more difficult to ms Chen,Language limits the life,While the existing life doesn't let her get approval,She bear the responsibility to let her feel pressure,And their negative emotions also affected to the child's education,Cause now ending.

积极调整，做聪明妈妈 Actively adjust the,Do intelligent mother

　　有时，故事相同，但结果却可以不同。很多陪读妈妈就能迎难而上。现居英格兰东部的一座海滨小城的林女士，四年前，选择带同14岁的儿子和13岁的女儿前来英国上中学，希望接受更好的教育。为此，林女士放弃了如日方中的事业，来英国陪读。

sometimes,The same story,But the results can be different.A lot can going with mom.Who lives in a seaside town in eastern England, Ms. Lin,Four years ago,Choose with 14 year old son and 13 year old daughter to come to the UK in high school,Hope to receive better education.To do this,Ms. Lin gave up RuRiFangZhong career,Come to the UK with.

　　由于自身的英语能力良好，她很快适应了英国的环境。而一双孩子的学业更是她最关注的事情。儿子以前在香港就读的是中文学校，故英语是他的弱项。获知孩子就读的中学没有资金为外国学生补习英语，林女士感到失望之余并未因此气馁。为了给孩子们争取到在学校补习英语的机会，自第一年开学以来，她曾几度不厌其烦走访学校，与学校的代表进行商讨。一个华人妈妈在英国白人的主流学校里孤身面对为大多数的学校代表据理力争，当中所需要的勇气是无人能及的，而当中为了准备会议所付出的努力也不是他人可比的。

Because own English ability is good,She soon adapted to the environment.And a pair of children's school is her most attention things.Son is attended Chinese school in Hong Kong before,English is one of his weaknesses.That children attend school without money for foreign students with English,Ms. Lin feel frustrated not discouraged.In order to give children to cram school English,Since the first year of school,She has repeatedly visited the school,A representative to discuss with the school.A Chinese mother alone in the white British mainstream schools face argued for most of the school representative,Need of courage is unsurpassable,And to prepare for the meeting of the effort is not comparable to others.

　　可惜最终儿子GCSE英语的成绩未如理想，即使如此，林女士始终尽职尽责如常。眼见儿子马上就要考大学，英语成绩不好可能成为一大障碍。在学校无法提供此方面的帮助的情况下，林女士便自己在家中为儿子当上了英语导师，每天督促儿子做练习。母子同心，儿子最近考得了理想的成绩，林女士才暂时放下心来。

But eventually son GCSE English unsatisfactory results,Even so,Mrs. Lin always conscientious as usual.See the son is going to college,English bad grades may become a big obstacle.In the school cannot provide help in this,Ms. Lin is at home for my son as your own English tutor,Urged his son doing exercises every day.Mother and son together,Son recently got the ideal result,Mrs. Lin only temporarily.

　　从女强人到全职妈妈。被问及有没有后悔当初做的决定，林女士坦然道：“还是后悔的。”谁知她说让她为之后悔的是，后来香港的学校也开设了课程为学生备考雅思，“早知如此，我就让两个孩子都考过了雅思再过来英国上大学，不必急于中学的时候过来。”

From women to stay-at-home mothers.Asked about ever regret the decision,Ms. Lin tao:"Or regret."But she said let her regret for it,Later in Hong Kong schools also opened the course for the students to prepare for ielts,"Early know so,I let two children have passed the ielts again came to the UK to go to college,Don't have to rush to middle school."

　　不过，她还表示，现在天天给孩子们做午饭使自己和孩子们的关系变得比以前更加亲密了，这是从前不可比的。最后，说及有否后悔自己放弃了许多的时候，她还是重复那么一句话：“我并不觉得自己有多么伟大。”

but,She also said,Now, every day do lunch for the children to make yourself and the children's relationship is more intimate than before,This is not to be than before.The last,Speaking of ever regret to give up a lot of time,She still repeat so a word:"I don't feel how great."

　　林女士的成功经验不在少数。在采访中有些妈妈通过参与当地社区的华人社团志愿活动，丰富自己的生活。但不难看出，陪读妈妈们为了给孩子创造一个“远大前程”付出了多少的艰辛。必须承认，母爱的力量是无法估量的，但是无私的爱并不一定能够带来积极的效果，孩子们在成长，妈妈们也该有所进步。

The successful experience of Ms. Lin.In an interview some moms by participating in the local Chinese community volunteering in the community,Enrich your life.But it is not hard to see,With mothers in order to give children to create a"Great expectations"How much of the hardships.It must be admitted that,The power of a mother's love is immeasurable,But love does not necessarily bring positive results,The children are growing,Mothers should also improved.

跨越语言及心理障碍，融入新环境 Across languages and psychological barriers,Into the new environment

　　语言障碍和文化差异是陪读妈妈面临的最大问题。其实，孩子年纪小，对于新环境的适应能力很强。反倒是妈妈，因为已经在原来的环境中定位，来到英国后，面临巨大的落差，造成沉重的心理负担。

The language barrier and cultural differences are the biggest problem facing with mother.In fact,Child age small,Ability to adapt to the new environment.Instead, mom,Because in the original environment positioning,After come to the UK,Facing huge gap,A heavy psychological burden.

　　全英最大的一个关爱华人心理健康问题的协会英国华心会的Jeffy Ho表示，要帮助陪读家庭融入外国社会，需要采取什么办法很大程度上取决于每个家庭的情况，故不同的家庭或应使用不同的办法去适应。但是，一般来说，在出现语言障碍的情况底下，陪读妈妈可多到当地的华人社区中心，无论是去学习英语也好，参加社区活动也好，多多拓展人际脉络，可助陪读家庭在陌生的社会中更快地产生归属感，从而尽快适应下来。如果在情绪或精神上感到很大的困扰的话，应该主动寻求帮助，及时接受恰当的心理辅导。

The UK one of the biggest concern of Chinese association of mental health problems of the China heart will Jeffy Ho said,To help with the family into the foreign society,Need to take any way depends largely on each family,Therefore, different family or should use different way to get used to it.but,In general,Under the situation in the event of a language barrier,With mom can be more to the local Chinese community center,Whether to learn English better,To participate in community activities,Many networks,Can help with the family to produce faster in unfamiliar social belonging,To adapt to as soon as possible.If you feel great in the emotional or mental problems,Should take the initiative to seek help,Promptly accept the appropriate counseling.

　　Jeffy Ho另外指出，陪读父母也应该注意子女的情绪问题，毕竟日常生活环境中缺乏父母其中一方在子女的成长过程中可造成很大的影响。致力于帮助世界各国被收养的中国儿童以及海外华裔后代了解他们的根髓文化的英国慈善组织母爱桥的创始人薛欣然女士谈到海外陪读家长们的现状，认为，陪读大多由母亲承担，妈妈们在国外面临最大的挑战都是语言障碍和文化隔阂，家长们会把更多的关注放在孩子身上。但是，孩子的融入能力强，适应新环境很快，孩子们对于妈妈的依赖会迅速减弱，妈妈们反倒失去了情感和生活的寄托，变得无所适从。久而久之，家长孩子陷入一种双方都很痛苦的疏远之中。

Jeffy Ho also pointed out,With the parents should also pay attention to their children's emotional problems,One daily life environment, after all, lack of parents in children's growth process can have a big impact.Aims to help countries around the world adopted children in China and overseas Chinese children understand their root pulp, founder of the culture of British charity love bridge xinran xue woman talked about the present situation of the abroad with their parents,think,With largely borne by her mother,Mothers in foreign countries are of the greatest challenges faced by the language barriers and cultural barriers,Parents will put more attention on their kids.but,Children's integrated ability,Adapt to the new environment quickly,The children dependence for mother will decrease rapidly,Mothers, but lost the feelings and hopes of life,Become confused about what to do.The passage of time,Both parents children into a painful alienation.

　　薛欣然认为，妈妈们在呵护孩子的同时，要设法开拓适应自己发展的生活，走出狭窄的生活圈，参与一些当地华人的社会活动。家长在孩子的面前实现和证明自己的价值，也是孩子成长过程中的营养要素。而中国社会也因尽快形成一个“留学预科”机制，为那些计划将孩子送到国外留学的家庭提供一个知识和能力的贮备辅导，使得家长们在孩子接受全面教育的同时，有机会和能力寻求自我发展，甚至是家庭经济在海外的拓展。

Xinran xue think,Mothers in the care of children at the same time,Try to develop to adapt to the development of life,Out of the narrow life circle,To participate in the activities of some of the local Chinese community.In front of the children of parents realize and prove his worth,Essential nutrients for children in the process of growing up.And Chinese society is because of the form a as soon as possible"Going abroad"mechanism,For those who plan to send children to study abroad family provide a stock of knowledge and ability,Makes the parents in the children accept education at the same time,Have a chance to seek self development ability,Even the family economic expansion abroad.

　　不管是过去还是现在，陪读妈妈们在国外面临的语言和文化问题依然存在，但今天的“陪读妈妈”们正在以一种更积极的态度打破这些屏障，让自己和孩子更多地融入当地社会。(魏秧子 苏晓贤 范竹)

Whether past or present,With mothers in foreign language and culture problems still exist,But today's"With my mother"Are in a more positive attitude to break the barrier,Make yourself and your children more integrated into the local society.(Wei shalt Su Xiaoxian Fan Zhu)