五、提问环节：培养孩子动力，给他一个愿景 five/Questions link:Cultivate children to power,Give him a vision

搜狐教育主持人： Sohu education host:下面请各位家长提问。

Next, please ask your parents.

提问： questions:我对您说的使命感特别有兴趣。我是今天第一次听到使命感。我怎么去引导他？

I say to you sense of mission has a special interest in.Today is the first time I heard the sense of mission.How do I to lead him?

曹萍【中国青少年研究会副秘书长】： CaoPing[China youth research association deputy secretary-general]:有一个我认为是很棒的工具，就是培养孩子动力。这是愿景、价值观、能力、行为，然后是环境。任何人，我们每当说什么事情的时候，我们都有一个环境，愿景，原来我们叫理想，什么叫愿景？就是心中的愿望形成了画面。一个人的动力产生要从三个方面出发。第二，人的价值观、身份，还有能力。对孩子而言，特别是初中、高中生，你管不了他，你能教他什么？你教不了他什么了，你最重要就是给他动力，从“你要好好学”，变成“我就要好好学”。一定要想方设法达到这样。怎么让他产生动力呢？非常关键的一点就一定要让孩子心中有愿景。目标是形成愿景的具体的结果。比如说，我要形成一个愿景，我要达到一个什么结果，那是目标。目标就是知道怎么做了，真正给人的动力是这个。比如说当官的，我现在是一个小处长，我什么时候能够当上正厅级的领导呢？我真的实现正厅级的时候，那是真正的达到了愿望。你看过去我们看那个电影，江姐，她在赴刑场的时候的那个凛然，她看到了五星红旗在飘扬，新中国成立了，中国从此站起来了。人的大脑是三个脑，爬行脑、哺乳脑和大脑皮层。爬行脑是管我们身体的，哺乳脑是管我们情绪的。只有大脑皮层是拥有未来的。所以我们现在要发展我们大脑皮层。只有它才拥有了未来。人很多是为了美好未来怎么样而去做的。

A I think are a great tool,A child is power.This is the vision/values/ability/behavior,Then is the environment.anyone,Every time we say what things,We all have an environment,vision,Originally we call ideal,What call vision?The desire of the heart is to form the screen.A person's power to produce from three aspects.The second,People's values/identity,Have the ability to.As for a child,Especially junior high school/High school students,You cannot manage his,Can you teach him???????You can't teach him what,You are the most important is to give his power,from"You learn better",into"I will good good study".Must try to achieve this.How to let he produces the power?Very key point must let the child in the heart to have the vision.Goal is to form vision of concrete results.For example,I want to form a vision,I want to achieve a what results,The goal is.Goal is to know how to do it,Really give a person is the power of this.For example an official,I am a little director,When I can when on the leadership of the main hall class?I really realize the main hall class time,That is the real reached the desire.You see the past we see that movie,JiangJie,She went to the execution ground in the awe inspiring,She saw the five-star red flag flying in,Since the founding of the,China since then stood up.The human brain is three brain,Reptile brain/Lactation brain and brain cortex.The reptile brain is tube our bodies,Lactation brain is tube our emotions.Only the cerebral cortex is have future.So now we want to develop our brain cortex.Only it just have a future.Lots of people to a better future and how to do.

　　我给大家举一个例子，就是我对我儿子的教育。他想考美国名牌大学。那怎么办呢？他走的前一天晚上，我给他做了一个练习，我把这四个写在一张纸上，你在学校里面和谁在一起，什么样的同学，什么样的老师，让他清晰的看到他现实的环境。他要对现有环境做一个剖析。你现在在哪里，什么样的老师、什么样的学生。你在这里做什么。他说我要达到4A，我说还要具备什么？我就想考名牌大学，我就想上名牌大学。我说你要想上名牌大学，你具备什么样的能力？需要做一些什么？我要提前考GRE。我当时想，高二考GRE有点早。我内心不希望他考，但是我看他怎么样。我知道那些方法，我知道怎么怎么着，他就说了很多的能力。我说你相信什么你能够达到这些的？这就到了价值观。他说我只要努力，人只要努力就一定能够达到。他说这是我的梦想，这都是他的心理价值。我说你相信这就是你的梦想，只要你努力就能够成功，你觉得你自己是不是神？这时候他的感觉就出来了。我是一个美国名牌大学的毕业生，这里面还带着一种傲气。我说当你成为美国名牌大学生的时候，谁会因你而受益，你看到了什么？这就到了愿景了。我看到了我妈咧着大嘴笑，我看到了这个、那个亲戚朋友都很高兴。我说你还看到了什么？他说我还看到了我找到一个好的工作，我在美国大的企业里面工作，我拿着文件夹向老板陈述我的工作。我说这个时候你听到了什么？他说他听到了老板说，这个小子真行。我说你感受了什么？这时候你明显看他的呼吸就开始喘了，感受到他的力量，他就开始慢慢启动了。我又追问他，这时候如果你真的特别棒，你真的实现了这一点，你又看到了什么？他说看到了他从这个飞机下来，上那个飞机。我说这个场面有点大了，我让他回到现实。我说儿子，当你这样的时候，你觉得你是谁了？很理直气壮的觉得，我是一个对世界有贡献的年轻人。这个比刚才那个我是一个美国名牌大学生就完全不同了。那个时候孩子追求的是个人，这个时候追求的有实质性的东西了。我说当你对世界有贡献实现的时候，你相信什么这个就能实现？又回到了幸运、价值，喘着气想着，脱口而出一句话：我一定要努力到老天帮我的那一刻。我就踏实了。我说你要成为这个人，你还要具备什么能力？他增加了他最弱的一个能力，沟通。我要找导师，做研究。你上哪里去做？哪哪，计划都出来了。而且关键这一切不是你给出的主意，这个工具最伟大的意义就在于，完全是激发他的动力，激发他潜在的能量。完全都是他自己创造出来的，而不是我们家长。所以，他自己的力量，自己的动力，大二他考GRE，成绩也很不错。最重要的是激发孩子的动力。当把孩子的动力用这个愿景激发出来以后，各位，我们家长就真的踏实了。在我跟孩子交流的时候，你要想引导孩子，比如说孩子的行为，你不要在他下面一层，下面一层永远影响不了上面一层。要想真正影响一个人，一定是在上面那一层，或者跟他平行，或者在上面。

I'll give you an example,Is I to my son's education.He want to take an examination of the famous university.How does that do??He left the night before,I give he made a practice,I put these four written on a piece of paper,You in schools and who together,What kind of students,What kind of teacher,Let him see clearly that the reality of his environment.He to the existing environment make a analysis.Where are you now,What kind of teacher/What kind of students.What are you doing here.He said I should achieve 4 a,I said to have???????I want to take an examination of famous university,I want to go to a famous university.I say you to want to go to a famous university,You have what kind of ability?Need to do some???????I want to take the GRE exam in advance.I think at that time,GaoErKao GRE a little early.My heart don't hope he does,But I see him.I know those methods,I know how to what happened,He said a lot of ability.I said do you believe in what you can achieve these?This came to values.He said I as long as you work hard,People as long as effort will be able to achieve.He says this is my dream,This is his psychological value.I said do you believe this is your dream,So long as you work hard to succeed,You think you are god?At that time he was feeling came out.I am an American famous university graduates,There was still with a kind of pride.I said that when you become the famous brand of college students,Who will benefit because of you,What do you see?This came to the vision.I saw my mother laughed with the big mouth smile,I saw this/The friends and relatives are all very happy.I said you still see?He said that I also saw I found a good job,I am in America's big enterprise work inside,I took the folder to the boss stated my work.I said this time you hear the???????He said he heard the boss says,This boy really good.I said you feel?This time you clearly see his breathing start panting,Feel his power,He began to slowly started.And I ask him,At that time if you really great,You really realized this point,And you see?He said that saw him from the plane down,On that plane.I said the scene a little big,I let him back to reality.I said son,When you this time,Who do you think you are the?Very reason keep spirit strong of think,I am a to the world have contribution to the young people.This is better than just that I am an American brand college students are completely different.At that time the child in pursuit of a man,This time is the pursuit of the real thing.I say to the world when you have contributed to the realization of,Do you believe in what this can achieve?Returned to the lucky/value,Gasped for air thinking about,Blurt out a word:I have to try our best to god help me at that moment.I will better.I say you to be the man,You have to have what power?He increased his most weak a capability,communication.I want to seek a teacher,Do research.Where do you go?Which which,Plans are out.And all this key is not you give your idea,This tool is of the greatest significance,Completely to inspire his power,Inspire his potential energy.Completely are his own created,Rather than our parents.so,His own strength,Own power,He take the GRE exam two,Performance is also very good.The most important is to inspire children's power.When the child's power with this vision excitation come out later,you,We parents really better.In my communicate with children,You want to guide the children,For example the child's behavior,You don't he the next layer,The next layer always influence the dimension above.To truly influence a person,Must be above the layer,With him or parallel,Or above.