好心提醒孩子“降温了，带件衣服去学校”，孩子的回答是“你好烦哦”……孩子上了初中，不像上小学时那么听话，经常会“强头倔脑”，甚至爱顶嘴，这恐怕是所有家长的困惑。对此，专家指出：这是孩子进入青春期的正常表现，如果你听到孩子频频有这样的反应，那说明他打算独立了。

Kind remind children"Cooling the,Bring a clothes to go to school",The child's answer is"Hello bother oh"……Children in the junior middle school,Unlike in elementary school so obedient,often"Strong head stubborn brain",Even love talk back,I'm afraid this is all parents confusion.this,Experts point out that:This is the child enters adolescence normal performance,If you hear the child frequently have such a reaction,That means he is going to independence.

青春期的孩子 正在为独立作准备 Adolescent children are preparing for independence

　　“青春期的孩子要为独立作准备，因此他们想在心理上跟父母作分离，表现出来的就是强烈的独立意识。”上海青春在线青少年公共服务中心12355资深心理咨询师沈之菲认为，孩子青春期的“亲子对抗”是有积极意义的。“只是每个孩子性格不同，独立意识也不同，而现在很多父母都没有准备好，孩子只能出于父母自身意愿而存在。”沈老师认为，面对青春期的“亲子对抗”，父母的改变应该比孩子更多。

"Adolescent children to prepare for independence,So they want to in the psychological make separation with their parents,Expression comes out is strong independent consciousness."Shanghai youth online teenagers public service center 12355 senior psychological consultant shen of phenanthrene think,The child adolescent"Parent-child against"There is a positive."But each child different character,Independent consciousness is also different,And now many parents are not ready,Children can only from the parents themselves intend to exist."Ms shen think,In the face of the adolescent"Parent-child against",Parents should change more than a child.

　　心理医生认为，12至16岁是孩子的“心理断乳期”，随着接触范围的扩大，知识面的增加，他们的内心世界丰富了，极易对父母产生“逆反心理”。他们认为自己已经长大了，对社会、人生有着与父母不同的看法，不要父母处处管自己，于是开始时时顶嘴，事事“抬扛”。据统计，爱顶嘴的孩子占到了70%。

Psychological doctors think,12 to 16 years old is the child's"Psychological DuanRuQi",Contact with the expansion of scope,The increase of knowledge,Their inner world rich,Extremely easily to produce parents"Negative mentality".They think they have grown up,To the society/Life with their parents have different views,Don't parents everywhere tube himself,And they began to constantly talk back,everything"Carried carry".According to the statistics,Lippy children accounted for 70%.

　　“我在心理咨询的过程中发现，很多孩子都是有悟性的，他们也在体谅父母。但不是每个孩子都能做到那样。成长是个缓慢的过程，让孩子理解父母也是一个漫长的过程。”沈之菲建议父母对不同性格的孩子要用不同的态度。较之于外向的孩子，沈之菲更担心内向的孩子：“有时父母可能不觉得，可孩子已经受伤了，其实，所有的父母都不希望自己的孩子受到伤害，但有时，不经意间，孩子就受伤了。”

"I am in the psychological consultation process found,Many children are has understanding,They also in consideration for parents.But not every child can do that.Growth is a slow process,Let the child understand parents also is a long process."Shen of phenanthrene suggest parents to different character of children to use different attitude.Compared with outgoing children,The Philippines is more worried about indrawn child:"Sometimes parents may not feel,Can child had been injured,In fact,All parents don't want their children hurt,But sometimes,casual,The child is injured."

　　“对于‘逆反期’孩子的心理加以正确引导，将使他们受益终生，但如果处理不好，将会影响孩子的心理发育和行为成长。”青少年心理危机干预专家兰滨提醒父母：要引导孩子积极理解父母的唠叨、老师的批评。而且让孩子变得“听话”的良策是尊重孩子，这样才能让孩子也尊重父母。

"for‘Negative period’The child's psychological performs the correct guidance,They will make a lifetime,But if processes is not good,Will affect a child's mental development and growth behavior."Adolescent psychological crisis intervention experts LanBin remind parents:To guide the children actively understand parents nag/The teacher's criticism.And let the children become"obedient"A good is to respect them,This can let the child also respect for their parents.

父母如何才能不唠叨 How can parents don't nag

　　“十个妈妈九唠叨，一个不唠叨是因为爸爸唠叨。”父母怎样才能“不唠叨”？

"Ten mother nine nagging,A don't nag because dad nagging."How can parents"Don't nag"?

　　家庭教育专家杨俐容认为父母首先要承认唠叨其实是为了自己的需要。“孩子日渐长大，同伴的影响愈来愈大，父母则逐渐式微。这很自然。可是对父母来说，就很痛苦。当你发现里子渐失，却还想赢得面子，就会唠叨。这唠叨，是试图要拉住过去那个亲子关系，留住那段甜蜜时光。

Family education experts YangLiRong think parents should first admit nagging is actually to their own needs."Children get older,Companion's influence more and more big,The parents would gradually declined.It's natural.But for parents,Is the pain.When you find lining gradually lost,Still want to win the face,Will chatter.This nag,Is trying to pull the past the parent-child relationship,Keep that sweet time.

　　孩子都需要父母的关爱，可是父母必须体认到，表达关爱，一次就够了。只要不至于产生严重后果的决定，你都可以表达一下关怀，然后尊重他的独立自主。如此一来，孩子既能感受到你的关怀，又能明白你无意压迫他，就不会顶嘴，也不会嫌你烦。

Children need the love of parents,But parents must be realized,Expression of caring,Once is enough.As long as not produce serious consequences decision,You can express the care,Then respect his independence.so,Children can feel your care,And you can see he has no intention of oppression,Won't talk back,Wouldn't think you be vexed.

　　其次家长天天应该默念“魔咒”“孩子独立真可喜”。杨俐容认为，父母通常因为焦虑担忧，所以要不停地关照孩子。也许孩子走的这条路不见得顺，可能会出问题。但他在这个关卡愿意尝试追求独立，将来才有办法真的作主，若他一切顺服你，等大了，该独立还不独立，你就累了。

Second parents should meditate on every day"spell""The child independent very pleased".YangLiRong think,Parents often because of worries about anxiety,So to keep the child care.Maybe the child go the road not shun,May be a problem.But he in this levels are willing to try to pursue independence,In the future we can really background,If he to you all,Etc big,The independence is not independent,You are tired.

　　“爱也是一种习惯。孩子小时候，需要父母无微不至的照顾。好不容易习惯成自然，孩子却长大了，父母又得改变习惯。要孩子了解父母，父母就要坦诚地让孩子知道你的状况，甚至请孩子适时提醒自己。转型是需要时间的。”

"Love is a kind of habit.The child as a child,Need parents meticulous care.Very not easy habit is a second nature,Children are grown up,Parents have to change habits.Children know parents,Parents will be open to let the child know your status,Even children please timely remind yourself.Transformation takes time."

　　孩子最讨厌的四种唠叨：一是小事一提再提。父母管大事，小事尽量让孩子作主。二是翻旧账：没人喜欢被揭疮疤，这最容易让孩子反弹。三是否定孩子。经常否定孩子的感受或想法，孩子就会更想顶嘴、坚持到底。四是不要引发孩子的罪恶感。不要讲类似于“你翅膀硬了，不需要爸妈了”这样的话。

Children dislike most of four kinds of nagging:One is a piece of lift to ask.Parents tube event,Small as far as possible let the children.The second is bring up:No one like to be JieChuangBa,The most easy to let the child bounced.Three children is negative.Children often negative feelings or ideas,Children will want to answer back/Stick it out.Four is not to cause the child's sense of guilt.Don't speak similar to"You wings hard,Don't need the parents"so.