[原标题：老师说，买蜡笔非买20支一盒的] [the original title:The teacher said,Buy crayon not buy 20 cigarettes a box of]

　　本报记者 彭薇

Our reporter PengWei

　　最近，一些幼儿园、小学的新生家长在教育论坛频频“发帖”，抱怨学校“太严格”：“学校让家长买蜡笔，规定只能是20支一盒的，少一支也不行”，“幼儿园上课，必须举手才能发言，没举手直接说，会被老师呵斥”…… 家长们说，如果都按学校这套“死板”的标准教育，如何能培养出有个性的一代？

recently,Some kindergarten/Primary school new parents in education BBS again and again"post",Complain that the school"Too strict":"The school let the parents buy crayon,Regulation is only 20 cigarettes a box,Less a also not line","Kindergarten class,Must raise your hand to speak,Don't raise your hand direct said,Will be the teacher hoot"…… Parents say,If according to this school"rigid"Standard education,How to raise has the individuality generation?

家长：上学才知学校规矩多 parents:School more than just knowing the school rules

　　吴芳瑞的孩子今年读幼儿园小班，令她诧异的是，原本以为以活动和游戏为主的幼儿园竟然有很多规定。她向记者描述了幼儿园课堂里的情景：

WuFangRui children read kindergarten classes this year,To her amazement,Originally thought to activities and games give priority to kindergarten should have a lot of rules.She told reporters describes the kindergarten classroom scene:

　　大家围成一圈，两只手要放在背后，认真听老师上课。被老师点到名回答问题的小朋友，不能直接说，要先起立；向老师提问，不能坐在座位上直接问，要先举手，被老师点名后，才能说话。

We formed a circle,Two hands to in the back,Listening to the teacher in class.Be the teacher point to name answer problem of children,Cannot directly said,Want to stand up;Ask questions of the teacher,Can't sit on the seat directly ask,To put up your hand first,By the teacher after roll call,Can speak.

　　“因为孩子不能做到这些，我被老师叫去学校好几次，要家长配合，回家好好训练孩子。”吴女士认为，老师的这些规定有点 “小题大做”，“幼儿园没必要对三四岁的孩子一板一眼地提出要求”。

"Because the child can't do this,I was the teacher told to school several times,To parents with,Go home to have a good training children."Ms wu think,The teacher's the rules a little bit "Make a mountain out of a molehill","Kindergarten not necessary to three or four years old children scrupulous to request".

　　吴女士的抱怨，引起很多新生家长的共鸣。一名小学一年级学生的家长说，孩子上了小学以后，才发现规矩竟然有那么多，买盒16支的蜡笔，被老师退回来，因为比规定的20支少了4支；家庭作业要有统一的格式，做数学题，写完一行，要空出一行，没按照格式写的，全部退回重写。

Ms wu complaints,Cause many new parents resonance.A primary school grade one students' parents said,Children in primary school later,Found that the rules should have so much,Buy a box of crayons 16 teams,Come back by the teacher,Because the provisions of the 20 teams than less four branch;Homework to have unified format,Do mathematics,Finished writing a line,To empty out a line,Not according to the format of writing,Returned to rewrite.

　　“这些规定有些不近人情了，这样培养出的学生会不会变呆？”不少家长说，在家里，他们对孩子是任其“自由发挥”，“就算孩子用蜡笔在墙壁上画画，我也不会批评他，这些都是他的创意。我们就怕规定太多，会抹杀了孩子的天性！”

"These regulations some the unkindness,So cultivate students won't change stay?"Many parents say,At home,They gave the baby is to let it"Free play","Even if the child with crayons to draw on the wall,I also can't criticize him,These are his originality.We will be afraid too much regulation,Will kill the child's nature!"

　　校长：“规矩意识”需要训练 The headmaster:"Rule consciousness"Need training

　　“家长与老师之间的教育隔阂，其实是两种观念的碰撞。”《少先队活动》杂志执行主编赵小华发现，如今的年轻家长普遍推崇“以孩子为中心”的教育思想，崇尚西方教育模式，认为对孩子管得少，就是尊重了孩子的天性。“家长们对老师意见这么大，就因为他们将中西式教育完全对立起来”。

"Parents and teachers of the education gap between,In fact are two concepts of collision."[The young pioneers activities]Magazine executive editor ZhaoXiaoHua found,Today's young parents universal praise highly"To children as the center"'s education thought,Advocating western education mode,Think for children pipe less,Is to respect the child's nature."The parents to the teacher's ideas so big,Just because they will oppose the western education completely".

　　赵小华说，现在家庭只养育一个孩子，孩子无疑成了关注焦点。每位家长都希望自己的孩子与众不同，出类拔萃，每个孩子在各自不同的环境及教养方式下成长，久而久之，形成了自己的个性。而在学校这一环境中，老师更注重的是集体良好氛围的形成，首先关注的是共性。不少校长也强调，学生来自不同家庭，学校需要训练他们的“规矩意识”，遵守集体秩序和社会规则。“很难想像，当学生们在教室里走来走去，想说就说，想跳就跳，老师怎能上好一堂课呢？”

ZhaoXiaoHua said,Now family only raising a child,Children undoubtedly become the focus.Every parents hope their children different,outstanding,Every child in different environment and education mode growth,As time passes,Formed its own personality.While in school this environment,The teacher more attention is collective the formation of the good atmosphere,First concern is common.A lot of the headmaster stressed,Students from different family,Schools need to train their"Rule consciousness",Abide by the collective order and social rules."It is hard to imagine,When the students in the classroom,Want to say and then say,Want to jump jump,How can the teacher a good lesson??"

　　“其实，这两种认知并不矛盾。”赵小华说，这就如同盖楼，没有打好“地基”，何谈个性？只有先让孩子适应周围环境，才能发挥出潜能。

"In fact,The two cognitive is not contradictory."ZhaoXiaoHua said,This is like towers,No good"foundation",What about personality?Only let children adapt to the surrounding environment,To be able to display the potential.

专家：追求共性也培养个性 experts:The pursuit of common also culture personality

　　教育专家认为，如今家庭教育往往 “模式化”，家长们容易“走偏”。比如“虎妈”、“鹰爸”等铁腕式家长代表，以“狠”和“严”著称；也有主张“猫爸”等柔和式教育的家长，更多的是注重孩子的感受，与他们平等交流。家长们往往将自己归入到某种中式或西式的“教育门派”，但其实更重要的是科学的家庭教育观，与学校教育相得益彰。

Education experts say,Now the family education often "modeled",Parents are easy to"Go partial".For example"Tiger mother"/"Eagle dad"And iron WanShi parent,to"malicious"and"strict"Is famous for its;Also have advocated"The cat dad"Downy and type education of parents,More is to pay attention to the child's feelings,And they equal exchange.His parents often will belong to a Chinese or western"Education branches of",But in fact more important scientific family education,And school education bring out the best in each other.

　　教育畅销书《好妈妈胜过好老师》的作者、教育专家尹建莉在微博上说，在女儿的教育方面，她经常会不赞同老师的做法，比如老师用抄作业的方式来惩罚孩子，这损害了孩子的学习兴趣，家长们可以不让步。“但不妥协并不意味着和老师形成对立关系。”她认为，每个家长都可以根据自己的情况，找到一种恰当的方式和老师沟通配合。

Education bestseller[A good mother is better than a good teacher]author/Education experts YinJianLi in micro bo said,In the daughter's education aspects,She often does not agree with the teacher's approach,Such as the teacher use copy homework way to punish the child,This damage the child's interest in learning,Parents can not concessions."But don't compromise does not mean and the teacher obversion relationship."She thinks,Every parents can according to your own situation,Find an appropriate way and communication with the teacher.

　　专家建议，年轻父母首先应该配合老师，让孩子从“自然人”顺利过渡到“社会人”。对新迈入校园大门的孩子来说，对社会的认知、生存和生活能力的培养，以及合作精神，比张扬个性更重要。而学校在追求共性的基础上，也要为孩子的个性培养创造空间。“教育不是打造标准化‘零件’，而是创造不重复的个体。”

Experts suggest,Young parents first should cooperate with the teacher,Let the child from"Natural person"A smooth transition into the"Social man".To the new entering the campus gate for children,On social cognition/Survival and life ability training,And cooperation spirit,More important than make public individual character.And the school in the pursuit of common basis,For the child's personality to create space."Education is not make standardization‘parts’,But create don't repeat individual."