学生对教师“敬而远之”，教师对学生“恨铁不成钢”，当前师生关系存在着一种“有缘不亲”的现象。近日，在浦江三中举行的“学生成长困惑研究及其价值引领”上海市中小学班主任带头人瞿新忠工作室展示研讨活动上，一批班主任感慨万分，希望能找到改变现状的“处方”。

The student to the teacher"At a respectful distance",The teacher to the student"Hate iron not rewinded into",Currently there is a relationship between teachers and students"Predestiny not close"phenomenon.recently,In a third huangpu river"Students grow confused research and value guidance"Shanghai middle and primary school teacher in charge leader QuXinZhong studio show discussion activities,A number of the teacher in charge regrets thousand times,Hope to find change the status quo"prescription".

学生有苦恼不愿找老师 Students have the misery is not willing to see the teacher

　　闵行区莘松中学范亿曾遇到这样一件事：有一次，班上几个学生在传阅着一本硬壳封面的笔记本，满脸喜悦，“看到我进来，有学生朝着我推荐起来：‘老师，这是小诚最新的创作，很精彩呢！’我满怀期待地走到小诚面前说：‘能让我欣赏一下吗？’‘不行！’出人意料而又坚决的回答，让我无比尴尬。旁边的学生也感到纳闷：‘小诚，你和老师的关系这么好也不给看啊。’”

Lasting minhang district pine middle school van she ever met such a thing:once,Several students in the class circulated a this scale cover notebook,With joy,"See me in,Have the students toward I recommend it:‘The teacher,This is a small honesty latest creation,Wonderful?!’I am looking forward to walk to a small sincere said before:‘Can let me enjoy?’‘no!’Unexpected and resolutely answer,Let me very embarrassed.Next to the students also feel puzzled:‘Small sincere,The relationship between you and the teacher is so good not to see.’"

　　这样的情形在学校里并不鲜见。团中央有关部门的一次调查显示，学生最喜欢的朋友，80.8%是同班同学，教师则排在“母亲”、“邻居”、“同校同学”、“父亲”之后垫底，为24.2%。

The case is not rare in school.The relevant departments of the central group a survey,Most students like friends,80.8% are classmates,The teacher came in"mother"/"neighbor"/"Students at"/"father"Bottom after,Is 24.2%.

　　同样，学生有苦恼，找谁？最愿意找老师的仅占1.25%。在与学生的亲近系数里，老师总处于最低的百分比。如今的师生关系，似乎处于“敬而远之”、“有缘不亲”的状态。

The same,Students have anguish,Find who?Most want to find the teacher only to account for 1.25%.With in student's close to the coefficient,The teacher always in the lowest percentage.Now relationship between teachers and students,Seemed to be in the"At a respectful distance"/"Predestiny not close"state.

五大因素造成“有缘不亲” Five factors"Predestiny not close"

　　不少班主任深有同感。范老师做了一项关于为什么师生关系“有缘不亲”的调查，整理了原因。她分析道，一是学生把教师看成是长辈，需要尊重而不亲近；二是学生觉得和教师之间有代沟，有些话题又牵涉个人隐私不适合说；三是学生和教师沟通问题时，教师往往会批评学生，令学生没有面子；四是学生最怕老师有事就向家长告状而不亲；五是教师过分严肃，有时不够平等民主。还有不少学生从小学开始就害怕老师，或多或少都受到过老师的严厉批评，甚至自尊心受到伤害。

A lot of the teacher in charge sympathetically.Fan teacher made a relationship between teachers and students about why"Predestiny not close"survey,Finishing the reason.She analysis way,One is the student teachers as the elder,Need to respect and not close;The second is the students and teachers think there is a generation gap between,Some of the topics and involving personal privacy is not suitable for said;Three is a student and teacher communication problems,The teacher often criticize students,Make students have no face;Four students are the most afraid of the teacher is offering at something and not close;Five is a teacher too seriously,Sometimes not equal and democratic.There are a lot of students from primary school teacher to be afraid,More or less by the teacher's criticism,Even hurt pride.

　　从教师自身找原因，闵行区德育教研员贾永春指出，教师不喜爱、不尊重、不信任学生是主因。同时，教师没有真正全面深入了解学生的需求、过多批评学生，主观臆断学生的问题而伤害学生，也是成因。过于简单粗暴，有时就是师生间的“分离剂”。

From teacher oneself look for reason,Moral education research staff to minhang district JiaYongChun pointed out,Teachers don't like/Don't respect/Don't trust students are main reason.At the same time,The teacher is not really comprehensive in-depth understanding of the needs of their students/Too much criticism students,Subjective assume the problems of students and students damage,Also causes.Too simple and crude,Sometimes is the between teachers and students"Separating agent".

教师应注重沟通方法 Teachers should pay attention to communication method

　　浦江三中校长向小成认为，师生关系之所以“有缘不亲”，关键在于教师。很多班主任尝试改变，并取得了一定的效果。

Pujiang third President to small to think,The relationship between teachers and students"Predestiny not close",The key lies in teachers.A lot of the teacher in charge to try to change,And has obtained the certain effect.

　　小佳是一个离异家庭的男生，在班级中的行为举止却常表现出女性化的一面。而老师对他这种行为给予了理解和宽容，当得知他是一个cosplay (扮演动漫作品、游戏中的角色)迷后，还给他机会展现cosplay的才华：让他主持cosplay的十分钟队会，开一次cosplay的个人演出，还让他担任文艺委员助理。毕业三年后的教师节，小佳告诉老师，他现在很开心能做自己喜欢的事情，感谢老师“并没有因为自己的捣蛋而批评责骂，相反鼓励和尊重了我的创造力，维护了我的自尊心”。

Small beautiful is a divorced family of boys,In the class behavior are often show feminine side.And the teacher to him this kind of behavior to the understanding and tolerance,When I heard that he is a cosplay (Play anime and manga/Play the role)Fans after,Back to him the chance to show the talent cosplay:Let he presided over the cosplay ten minutes team,Open a cosplay personal performance,Still let he served as assistant of literature and art.Three years after graduated from the teachers' day,Little better tell the teacher,He is very happy to do the business that oneself like,Thanks to the teacher"Not because of his monkey and criticism to scold,Instead encourage and respect my creativity,Maintain my pride".

　　许多老师都有体会，99%的学生不愿意和老师在办公室谈话，所以一些老师选择理解学生，不轻易带学生进办公室。有的选择在教室外的走廊、过道等僻静处和学生谈心，学生的心理压力得到了一定的缓解。范老师说：“教师应注重沟通的方法，多一点有智慧的策略。”上海市学生德育发展中心主任王磊强调，师生关系要产生“有缘能亲”的和谐，教师要有大爱、明智及艺术。

Many teachers have experience,99% of the students don't want to talk with the teacher in the office,So some teachers choose understanding students,Don't easily take students into the office.Some choice in outdoor corridor/Corridor and quiet place and students speaking,Students' psychological pressure has been some relief.Fan teacher said:"Teachers should pay attention to the communication method,A bit more wise strategy."Shanghai students moral education development center director wang lei stressed,To produce the relationship between teachers and students"Decree by destiny can close"harmony,The teacher has a great love/Wise and art.

　　在研讨中，许多班主任认为，亲近学生，是使教育产生效果的前提，这种“亲”既带有爱学生的感情色彩，更有引导学生的教育元素。

In the discussion of,Many think the teacher in charge,Close to students,Is the premise of the education effect,this"close"Love with both students' emotional color,More guides the students education elements.