随着互联网的普及，人们在网络上的生活方式也在发生着变化，从在网上阅读大量公共信息，到根据自己的需求寻找、交流充满个性化的信息。一些人甚至认为，网络生存已经不再是现实生活的补充，而是现实生活不可替代的一部分。 这种网络生存的现象，在家长群体中更为明显。

With the spread of the Internet,People on the network way of life are also changing,From online reading a lot of public information,According to their own needs to look for/Communication is full of personalized information.Some people even think,Network survival is no longer added to the real life,But real life irreplaceable part. This kind of network survival phenomenon,In parents' groups is more apparent.

　　一位妈妈的微博关注中，有专门的一个“组”，名为“育儿”。里面有被很多妈妈推荐的医生和专家，有“北京儿童医院”这样的医疗机构，还有“××亲子阅读”等组织。孩子身体不舒服时，这位妈妈会第一时间@一位医生；孩子养育过程中遇到问题时，她也会马上@一位专家。

A mother's micro bo in attention,A special one"group",called"parenting".There was a lot of mother recommended a doctor and experts,have"Beijing children's hospital"Such a medical institution,and"Xx parent-child reading"Organizations such as.The child body unwell,The mother will be the first time @ a doctor;The child raising problems,She also will soon @ an expert.

　　记者登录一个很有“人气”的教育论坛，里面已有会员200多万人，发了近2000万的帖子。仅一个周末，会员就增加了12万多，帖子增加了3万多个。

Reporter login a"popularity"Education BBS of,Existing members in more than 200 people,Hair nearly 20 million posts.Only a weekend,Member increases more than 120000,Post increased more than 30000.

　　老田介绍，现在看一个家长是否尽责，有一个重要指标：看看他加入了几个“群”。

LaoTian introduced,Now look at a parent is responsible,There is a important index:Look at him to join a few"group".

　　无论是否有意为之，如今的家长已经或正在进入一种线上的、“群居”的生活时代。

No matter if you are interested in the,Today's parents have been or are into a online/"social"Life time.

信息成了决定成败的重要因素 Information became decides success or failure of the important factors

　　网名为tizhiyuan的女士在论坛上是位著名人物，已经习惯了线上生活的她不愿意透露她在线下的真实姓名。

Net is tizhiyuan lady in the BBS is a famous figure,Has been used to the online life she is not willing to disclose her in the offline real name.

　　tizhiyuan女士的一篇《小升初把我培养成了“谋略家”》是论坛上炙手可热的帖子。在帖子中，她总结出他们一家在“小升初”过程中成功使用过的10条计谋：“李代桃僵”、“暗渡陈仓”、“无心插柳”、“知己知彼”、“知耻后勇”、“坚持就是胜利”、“战略性放弃”、“借尸还魂”、“瞒天过海”和“树上开花”。

Tizhiyuan a lady[I became another train"tactician"]BBS is active in post.In the posts,She summed up in the family"another"Success in the process of the used ten counsel:"Substitute one thing for another"/"stealing"/"Centerless plug willow"/"enemy"/"Shame-awareness after yong"/"Adhere to is victory"/"Strategic give up"/"rebirthing"/"Try to deceive everybody"and"Flowering tree".

　　细细翻看这些计谋会发现，这位家长之所以能在每一个关键时刻运用关键的计谋，不仅仅是因为家长超常的冷静，更在于能同时掌握大量有价值的信息。在帖子中，tizhiyuan女士描述了这样的细节：“进入4月，第一目标校也有不太好的信息传来，今年该校的民乐只招收5～6名孩子，其中分给儿子的器乐的名额只有一个，而且……”，还有这个细节：“5月更在阳光乐团获得了一个难得的信息，二小艺术班的两个孩子提前被海淀名校B录取，儿子又少了两名竞争对手……”

Carefully read the counsel will find,The parents can in each key moment use the counsel of the key,Not only because parents paranormal calm,At the same time more is to master a lot of valuable information.In the posts,Tizhiyuan lady describes such details:"Into April,The first goal the school also have not very good information spread,This year the school's folk music only recruits 5 ~ 6 young children,The son of the number of instrumental music to only one,and……",And the details:"May the more in the sunlight orchestra received a rare information,The discoordination art class two children early haidian school B admission,Son and little two competitors……"

　　每个经历过小升初的家长都知道，每年的四五月是最关键的节点。

Each experienced another parents know,Every SiWuYue is the most key node.

　　因为教育主管部门已经三令五申，小升初不能进行选拔性的考试，不能以各种学科竞赛成绩作为录取学生的依据。

Because education departments have repeated orders,Another cannot undertake selected the test,Not in a variety of disciplines race scores as the basis of admit a student.

　　但是，学校的选拔又实际存在着。

but,The school selection and actual exist.

　　在这种情况下，选拔和考试的信息都不会公开发布。而此时，只有在培训机构的论坛上，只有在一些著名的家长群里，才能准确及时地获得这样的信息。“其实，被家长们热捧的群通常由三部分人构成：培训机构的人、热门学校的人还有家长。这三部分人各有所需，在群里和谐相处。”同样刚刚陪孩子经历过“小升初”的许先生说。

In this case,The selection and test information won't be released.the,Only in training institutions on the BBS,Only in some famous parents group,To accurately and timely to obtain such information."In fact,Be parents heat holding group usually consists of three parts constitute people:Training institutions of the people/The popular school and parents.The three part each man have need,In the group of harmony."The same just accompany children experienced"another"Of xu said.

　　tizhiyuan介绍，最初她也只是因为在学而思上奥数，所以就关注了相关论坛，开始时也并不活跃，后来看得多了，自己也有了各种各样的问题，便被介绍加入了一些群。“再到后来，群里的人越来越熟悉，我们自己组群，也开始自己攒班。”tizhiyuan说。

Tizhiyuan introduces,First she also just because learning and thinking in mathematical olympiad,So pay attention to the relevant BBS,Start is not active,Then see much more,They had all kinds of problems,He was introduced to join some of the group."Then later,The person in the group are getting more and more familiar with,Our own group,Also started his saving class."Tizhiyuan said.

　　很多家长都佩服tizhiyuan的谋略，而在tizhiyuan看来，“最新最准确的一手信息是我打赢这一战役的关键所在。”

Many parents are admire tizhiyuan counsel,And in tizhiyuan looks,"The latest and most accurate skill information is I fight to win the battle key."

　　有人说，现在当家长容易了，有个什么问题不用出门，上网一查就都解决了，省时省力。老田说，其实，做一个真正的“线上家长”并不容易。确实，现代社会每天都生产海量信息，即使是在已经非常细分的“群”里也不例外，从这些信息中找到对自己有用的信息，家长需要的不仅仅是时间，还需要把握全局的智慧。

Some say,Now when parents easy,A what problems do not have to go out,A check on the Internet are solved,Saves time and effort.LaoTian said,In fact,To be a true"Online parents"Is not easy.really,Modern society production every day of the mass information,Even if in has very segmentation"group"Are no exception,From these information to find useful information,Parents need to is not only the time,Also need to grasp the global wisdom.

共同的烦恼、共同的需求 Common troubles/Common demand

家长们抱团取暖 Parents BaoTuan heating

　　“没有经历过小升初的家长无法体会那种焦虑和痛苦。”许先生说，“所以，与其说，我们是在网上获得信息，不如说我们是在抱团取暖。”

"Without the experience of another parents can't realize that kind of anxiety and pain."Xu said,"so,Rather than,We are on the Internet to get information,As we are in BaoTuan heating."

　　“那些日子可以说是人生中最焦虑的一段日子，尤其是四五月的时候，眼前摆着推优、特长生等几条道路，心仪的学校也排出了目标校1、目标校2、目标校3……但是，所有的道路都只是一种可能性，所有的学校也仅仅是我们单方面心仪，这样的压力，周围的朋友很难体会，所以，只能向群里的人说。”老田说，心里最没底的时候，在“群”里混的时间就更长，看着别人跟自己有相同的焦虑，至少能找到些安慰。“越来越多的心里话‘倒’在了‘群’里，越来越多的深层次的沟通也发生在‘群’里，有时候甚至觉得，现实生活是敷衍着过的，因为每天的工作在重复着昨天，跟周围人也只维持着‘浅层次’的沟通。”

"Those days can say is in the life most anxious for a day,Especially when SiWuYue,The front of directing/A few road especially immortal, etc,The right school also discharge the target school 1/Target school 2/Target school 3……but,All the roads are just a possibility,All the school is only right we unilaterally,The pressure,Friends is hard to understand,so,Only to the person in the group said."LaoTian said,When the heart unavoidable,in"group"Mix in the time is longer,Look at others with their have the same anxiety,At least can find some comfort."More and more my mind‘fall’In the‘group’in,More and more deep communication also happens in‘group’in,Sometimes even think,Real life is a play with the,Because of the daily work in repeating yesterday,Around with people also only maintained‘Shallow level’communication."

　　“‘群’就是一个自组织，大家因为共同的需求组合在一起，也会因为需求不同了而转型或解散。人员不固定，但是却给了家长们很好的心理按摩平台。”许先生说。

"‘group’Is a self organization,Everybody because common demand together,Also because demand different and transformation or dissolution.Personnel is not fixed,But to the parents good psychological massage platform."Xu said.

　　但是，这样的浸泡有时也会衍生更深的焦虑。

but,Such soak sometimes derived deeper anxiety.

　　刘欣的儿子现在5岁，明年要“幼升小”了，在媒体工作的她当然了解信息的重要性。她先后加入了“北京幼升小”和“北京一年级”等几个超级“群”，她确实在里面获得了很多有用的信息。但是，最近几天，刘欣突然任由群头像不停地闪动，也不去点开它。“越看越焦虑，很多信息知道了也没有解决办法，还不停地增添烦恼，还不如不看。”

Liu xin son now 5 years old,Next to"Young rise small"the,In the media work of course she understand the importance of the information.She has joined"Beijing young rise small"and"Beijing a year"And so on several super"group",She was indeed in get a lot of useful information.but,In recent days,Liu xin suddenly let the group head kept flashing,Don't go to point to open it."More looks is more anxiety,A lot of information to know no solution,Also constantly add trouble,Than from."

无法解除的是内心的恐慌 Unable to remove is inner panic

　　虽然有越来越多的家长开始了“线上”生活，也有不少家长由此获得了很多有用的信息，并且释放了部分压力。但是，一切的互助、共享和信任似乎仅在一个很小的圈子内进行。

Although there are more and more parents began"online"life,There are many parents obtained a lot of useful information,And releasing some pressure.but,All the mutual/Sharing and trust seems to only in a small within the circle.

　　一位记者为了深入了解这些家长“线上”生活的真实状态，申请进入了一个超大的家长群。当群里的家长知道她不是家长时，“骗子”的骂声此起彼伏，进而把她“踢”了出去。

A reporter in order to deeply understand the parents"online"The true state of life,Application has entered a large group of parents.When a group of parents know that she is not when parents,"liar"The bristle to break out,And then put her"play"out.

　　即使找到一个愿意说几句的家长，也不愿意透露过多的个人信息。

Even find a would like to say a few words of parents,Don't want to reveal too much personal information.

　　“这也是没办法。”许先生说，“家长们的一切行为都有一个共同的目的：不能影响孩子录取。‘群’里来自学校的声音也会提醒家长千万别把信息传出去。为了孩子，我们确实不愿意有节外生枝的事情发生。”

"This is no way."Xu said,"The parents of all the behavior has a common purpose:Can't affect a child admission.‘group’From the school of voice also will remind parents don't the information spread.For the children,We really don't want to have branch off things happen."

　　更何况在当前择校风很盛的情况下，很多没有什么门路的家长觉得，奥数、特长生等方式还是自己孩子进入更好学校的一条通道。“现在孩子每年花在各种培训班上的费用至少要两万元左右，如果不让孩子上这些培训班而去走关系，也得花几万元。我当然愿意把钱花在培训孩子身上，至少孩子还学了不少东西。”许先生说，因此，“群”里的家长都会非常小心地保护着“群”，他们最不喜欢的就是“记者”和“做广告”的，一旦发现有这样的人混进了“群”里，会齐心协力地把他“踢”出去。

Besides in the current ZeJiaoFeng is under the condition of filled,A lot of no outlet parents feel,aoshu/Especially immortal, etc or their children into a better school a channel."Now children spend in various types of training on the cost should be at least twenty thousand yuan,If you don't let the child the training class and go relationship,Also have to spend tens of thousands of yuan.Of course I would like to spend money on training children,At least the children also learned a lot of things."Xu said,therefore,"group"The parents will be very carefully protected"group",They are the most don't like"reporter"and"advertising"of,Once found to have such infiltrates the"group"in,Will make concerted effort to him"play"out.

　　从事教育咨询和培训的闻风，因为经常对北京各所中小学进行分析和比较而被众多中小学生家长所熟知。他认为，家长的“群居生活”背后是内心的恐慌。因为当前义务教育还远没有达到均衡的状态，择校仍然存在，只是难度越来越大。所以，家长们纷纷自保。

Engaged in the education consulting and training,Because often to Beijing every middle schools and primary schools were analyzed and compared by many small and medium-sized parents know.He thinks,parents"Social life"The heart is behind the panic.Because the current compulsory education is still far from achieving equilibrium state,Will still exist,But the difficulty is more and more big.so,Parents are holding.

　　“虽然我也在‘群’里获得信息，但是我知道这里的底线是‘自保’。”刘欣也这么认为。

"Although I am in the‘group’Information in,But I know here is the bottom line‘holding’."Liu xin think so, too.

　　闻风介绍，他曾经见过3个家长，3年前，他们曾经一起讨论过是否购买学区房的问题。当时这3个家长的孩子都没有到“幼升小”的关键时期，所以，一位家长说：没必要买学区房，上哪个学校不一样？结果，到了孩子“幼升小”的时候，3个家长再交流时，有两个家长都说孩子上了“名校”，没上名校的家长请教经验时才知道，那两个家长都分别买了“名校”附近的“学区房”。那3位家长的关系也就此破裂。

Introduced the,He had seen three parents,Three years ago,Together they had discussed whether to buy the school district room problems.When the three parents the children not to"Young rise small"The key period of,so,A guardian said:No need to buy school district room,Which school is different?The results,The children"Young rise small"when,Three parents to communicate,There are two parents said the children"school",No school on parents don't know consult experience,The two parents were bought"school"nearby"District room".The relationship between the three parents on fracture.

　　“家长为了孩子的利益，会隐瞒很多信息。”闻风说。

"The parents to the child's interests,Will hide a lot of information."Said the.

　　竞争确实惨烈，但并不是所有的家长都被卷入其中。“经常在论坛上交流这类信息的家长，本来就是那些容易焦虑的家长。”刘欣说，那些没在网上生存的家长虽然获得的信息少了，但是他们的焦虑也会相应减少。“这对孩子来说未尝不是好事。”

Competition was really,But not all the parents are involved."Often in the BBS on this kind of information communication of parents,It is those likely to be anxious parents."Liu xin said,Those who didn't live online parents though less information obtained,But their anxiety also will be reduced correspondingly."The child, have not is not a good thing."