“开学一月摧毁家长6年教育观”大讨论 "On January destroy parents 6 years education"Big discussion

　　看完《中国青年报》的文章《6年后我将收获怎样一个孩子》感觉，作者的教育理念和我有很多共同之处，但我觉得，要规则还是要自由、要规矩还是要个性，并非水火不相容。在追求秩序与个性变得同等重要的今天，如何让孩子顺利迈过进入社会的第一道门槛，家长和老师都值得反思。

read[The China youth daily]article[Six years later I will harvest how a child]feel,The author's education idea and I have a lot in common,But I think,To rule or free/To rule or personality,Not oil and water don't mix.In the pursuit of order and personality become equally important today,How to let the child smooth stridden into society a threshold first,Parents and teachers are worthy of reflection.

　　女儿苗苗今年三年级，3年前初入学堂时，我跟这名家长一样，每天都焦虑着，纠结着。从幼儿园到小学，对孩子来说是一个跨越，对家长更是一个挑战，原来的蒙氏教育、英式启蒙，通通抛到一边，现在开始进入中国教育时间。这个时间跨度很大，在考上大学之前，长达12年，从此，你就有了跟学校、跟老师再也撇不开的关系。

Daughter miao miao three grade this year,Three years ago when the school first,I told this name as parents,Every day the anxiety,twisted.From kindergarten to primary school,In the child, is a cross,For parents is a challenge,The original montessori education/British enlightenment,All aside,Now start to enter the Chinese education time.The time span,Before the college entrance examination,For up to 12 years,From now on,You have to school/With the teacher can skim not open relationship.

　　自苗苗上学后，我原来坚持的教育理念也不断地接受挑战。质疑过，茫然过，但最终还是选择了适应。现在看来，有得也有失，最终还是收获更多。其实学校和家庭，老师和家长，对孩子的教育是互补的两端，协调融合，就会促进孩子健康成长，如果冲突矛盾，孩子便会受伤和茫然。

Since the miao miao after he went to school,I had to education idea will continue to accept the challenge.questioned,At a loss over,But chose to adapt to.Now it seems,You lose and win,Eventually harvest more.In fact the school and the family,Teachers and parents,In children's education is at both ends of the complementary,Coordination between,Will promote the healthy growth of children,If conflicts,The child will hurt and at sea.

从小培养规则意识，长大后才好与人相处 From childhood culture consciousness of rules,Grew up just good get along with people

　　刚入学，孩子还带着幼儿园时候的天真和稚气，面对学校扑面而来的各种要求和规定，有很多不适应。苗苗刚上学那会儿，我几乎每天都要收到老师发来的短信提醒。有一次，老师忍无可忍地给我打电话说，苗苗在课堂上“活蹦乱跳”，严重扰乱课堂秩序，让我回家一定要好好教育。

first-year,Children with a kindergarten was innocent and juveniles,In the face of all kinds of school on requirements and regulations,There are many does not adapt.Miao miao just went to school then,Almost every day I will receive message from teacher to remind.once,The teacher unbearable to make a phone call to me said,Miao miao in class"Alive and kicking",Seriously disturbed the class,Let me go home must be a good education.

　　放学后我问苗苗为什么，她低着头，捏着衣角，很不好意思地说：“上了一整天课，都没出去玩，我坐着实在难受，就忍不住站起来跳了两下。”面对委屈的孩子，我也没法狠心责备，但还是得跟她讲道理：“妈妈理解你，但你以后还是要记住，上课有上课的秩序，是不能随便跳的。你现在上学了，跟家里不一样，也不像在幼儿园，不能想干什么就干什么，要守纪律，要不然就乱套了，大家都没法学习，你说是吗？”

After school I asked miao miao why,Her low head,Grabbed the thy skirts,Very embarrassed to say:"On the whole day class,Didn't go out to play,I sit and really uncomfortable,Can not but stand up jumped twice."In the face of the injustice of the children,I can't blame cruel,But still have to reason with her:"Mother understand your,But you later still remember,The class have class order,Is can't literally jump.Now you go to school,As with home,Also don't like in kindergarten,Can't you want to do,To discipline,Or we'll muddle up,Everyone can't study,You said right?"

　　后来，苗苗上课没再跳，她渐渐适应了，也学会了自己调节。但后来还是发生了好几次这种她“展现个性”的事，比如上着课就捏起了橡皮泥，还大方地跑到前面送给同学；考着试突然就不想写了，在卷子上画起画来……这在学校都是不守规则的行为，每次老师都愤怒地给我打电话，我也都是先道歉，认真表态一定严加管教，但在面对孩子的时候，总要先问清原因，然后表示理解，再跟她解释为什么这样做不对，渐渐地，她也学会了克制和遵守。

later,Miao miao class didn't jump,She gradually adapted to the,Also learned to his control.But then I happened several times this she"Show individual character"things,For example, the lesson is pinched up plasticine,Also ran gracefully to the front to students;Take an examination of the trial suddenly don't want to write,In the examination paper in drawing up painting to...The school is not the behavior of the rules,Each teacher angrily to call me,I also are sorry first,Serious statement must be strict discipline,But in the face of a child,Always ask first reason,Then said understand,Then tell her to explain why do it,gradually,She also learnt to restraint and abide by.

　　有人说，孩子毕竟是孩子，坐得累了起来跳一下也没什么，考试时在卷子上画画就画画呗，成绩也没那么重要。这是没什么大不了的，孩子第一次这么做的时候，没有意识到这样做有什么不对。但如果老师不指出来，家长也姑息纵容，孩子就会继续率性任为，而且一次比一次离谱，长久下去，便没有了规则意识。基础教育要培养学生基本的学习与行为习惯，讲“规矩”与“发展个性”未必水火不容。张扬“个性”不是没有要求，当他处在一个集体当中的时候，就需要遵守相应的规则。这样的规则意识，就是要从小培养，长大后，她才会更好地学会与人相处。

Some say,After all, children are children,Sit tired up at a jump also nothing,When the exam in the examination paper in painting is drawing bai,His grades are not so important.This is not a big deal,Children are first so doing,Don't realize what you.But if the teacher pointed out to,Parents also palliative indulgence,The children will continue to willfulness appointed,And at one time than a wide of the mark,last,Without consciousness of rules.Basic education to cultivate students the basic learning and behavior habits,speak"rules"and"Personality development"Not downright.Make public"personality"Not didn't ask for,When he was in a collective of the time,Will need to abide by relevant rules.Such consciousness of rules,Is to cultivate since childhood,Grew up,She will be better to learn to get along with people.

树立老师的权威很重要，让孩子有所畏惧，克服惰性 Set up the teacher's authority is very important,Let the child daunting,Overcome inertia

　　我还刻意地在她面前树立老师的权威。虽然有时候老师说得不一定对，但对这个年龄的孩子来说，需要一个权威和标准来学习和模仿。孩子在家通常喜欢撒娇，但到了学校，每个孩子都一样，老师要公平对待。孩子也才会明白，不会所有人都像父母和爷爷奶奶一样宠着他。老师这个角色就是让孩子有所畏惧，克服惰性。

I have deliberately in front of her set up the teacher's authority.Although sometimes teacher said it may not work for,But to the child of this age speaking,Need a authority and standard to study and imitate.Children at home often like coquetry,But in the school,Every child is the same,The teacher to do justice to.Children will understand,Not all people are like parents and grandparents as his pet.The role of the teacher is to let the children daunting,Overcome inertia.

　　同事告诉我一件事，她小时候，老师要求列竖式一定要用尺子比着，有一次她爸看到了就说这没必要，让她不必遵守。当时作为小学生的她，本来是对老师言听计从的，这次有老爸撑腰，就逆反了一次。第二天老师检查作业时提出质问，她回答说是爸爸允许的。在跟爸爸确认后，老师只好由着她了。尝到了第一次反叛的乐趣，此后她就渐渐地不把老师说的话当回事了，以至于到后来数学一直学得不太好。

Colleagues told me one thing,When she was young,The teacher asked column vertical must use a ruler,Once she dad saw he said it didn't have to,Let her don't abide by.As she was primary school students,It is the teacher of the bidding,The old daddy's back,Is a snob.The next day the teacher inspection operations to interrogate,She said that father allowed.After the confirmation with dad,The teacher had to let her.Taste the first rebellion of fun,Since then she gradually don't take the teacher said seriously the,So that to later mathematics have been learned not too good.

　　我觉得，小学生的“向师性”有利于在校学习；即使学校的做法和自己的设想有冲突，作为家长应当积极地去和教师沟通，不能在儿童面前简单地埋怨学校和教师。这只会让孩子不知所措，在二者之间为难。

I think,Elementary student's"To teacher sex"To study at school;Even if the school practices and ideas have conflict,As parents and teachers should actively to communication,Not in front of children simply blame schools and teachers.It will only let the children at a loss,In between them.

　　每个孩子生来都有自己独特的个性，家长也会刻意地根据自己孩子的个性来教育，但在学校，不可能为每个孩子量身打造不同的教育方式，只能是采取整齐划一的步骤。至于孩子的个性成长，只能通过不同的家庭教育来弥补。在个性和共性发生矛盾时，个体不妨尝试进行适应和调整。因为，孩子早晚要融入社会，融入集体，要学会在各种集体环境里成长。

Every child was born has its own unique personality,Parents may also deliberately according to their children's personality to education,But in school,Not every child can tailor different education mode,Can only be taken neat and tidy steps.As for the child's personality growth,Only through the different family education to make up for.In personality and common when conflict,Individual might as well try to adapt and adjust.because,Children in the society sooner or later,Into the collective,Learn to grow in all sorts of collective environment.

　　实际上，学校教育和家庭教育，原本就是圆规的两只脚，共同配合，才能画好孩子成长的这个圆。喻和

In fact,School education and family education,Originally it was the compass of two feet,Common fit,To draw good boy growing this circle.Yu and

　　(来源:中国青年报)

(Source: China youth daily)