提问： To ask questions:“李双江之子涉嫌轮奸”事发以来，网友的讨论十分热烈，有人认为，今年17岁的李某“重艺、缺德、失教养在中国式教育下，李某仅仅是典型，绝不是唯一”。对此您如何看？

"Li tianyi, the son of alleged gang rape"Since the incident,Online discussion is very warm,Some people think that,This year, 17, li mou"Heavy art/wicked/Educated in Chinese education,Li mou is just a typical,Are by no means the only".How do you see?

李文道（首师大心理系副教授，北师大心理学博士）： Li Wendao(ShouShiDa associate professor, department of psychology,Beijing normal university psychologist Dr):李某是典型，但非常代表性。父教缺失与孩子违法犯罪之间存在着紧密联系，在《好好做父亲》一书中，我们引用了三组数据都说明了两者之间的紧密联系。根据新闻媒体的零碎信息，我们大概可以推测出李双江对孩子是溺爱的，而溺爱中成长起来的孩子往往会过于自我中心，心中没有他人，一旦愿望欲求受阻遭挫，就会付诸暴力，2011年李天一因别人刹车可能过急暴打他人并叫嚣“谁敢打110”就是典型的例证。心理学认为父亲是孩子规则意识形成的关键，父亲的溺爱往往会使孩子缺少规则意识，做事没有边界感和底限，不断挑战社会规则和父亲的摆平能力，不断玩火，犯罪升级，终至引火自焚。

Li mou is a typical,But very representative.Father taught missing closely contact with children exists between the illegal crime,In the[Do his father]In the book,We refer to the three sets of data illustrates the close ties between the two.According to the news media gathered information,We can probably infer appears to the child is spoiled,而Dote on中成长since来的孩子往往会过于自我中心,Heart not others,Once the blocked setback's desire to desire,Will be put into violence,2011 li because others may brake JiBao others and screamed"Who dares call 110"Is a typical example.Psychology think that father is the key to children rules consciousness,Father dotes on, often will make children lack of the rule consciousness,Do no border and bottom line,Constantly challenge social rules and father's ability to handle,Continue to play with fire,Crime to upgrade,To alight.

郑委（家庭教育专家）： Zheng Wei(Family education expert):中国的家长请注意，想培养出“问题孩子”是有规律的，我把它称作为“问题孩子养成规律”只要家庭教育的理念和方法符合这一规律的话，你的孩子基本上就会成为问题孩子！这个规律是“家长在能力和才华上高要求高期望（缺爱），在德行和责任上总包办总满足（溺爱）”，李双江夫妇的家庭教育正好符合这一规律，所以他的孩子出问题是必然的。

Chinese parents pay attention to,Want to develop"Problem child"Is a regular,I said it"Problem children develop routines"As long as the family education ideas and methods in accordance with this law,Your child will basically become a problem child!This rule is"Parents of high demand high expectations on the ability and talent(Lack of love),Total arranged to meet on the morality and responsibility(Dote on)",Mr. Li couple family education conforms to the law,So his children out of the problem is inevitable.

　　如果家长在能力和才华（学习）上高要求高期望，孩子是感受不到家长的爱的，我们把这样的家庭教育称作为“缺爱型家庭教育”，因为家长的高要求高期望，就总是看到孩子的不足，家长看到不足就总是心生不满，总是说出孩子的缺点，更有甚者总是批评、指责、打骂，孩子就在这样缺爱的条件下生活，总是感觉到不被认可的同时，还要不断的努力去达到家长的期望和要求，他们非常努力，但是总是达不到家长的要求，从而失去自信和上进，同时在潜意识和意识中不断积聚着对家长的不信任和积怨，当这种积聚到达一定量的时候爆发出来，就形成了“问题孩子”；

如果家长In the能力和才华(learning)On high demand high expectations,Children are sense the love of parents,We put the family education say so as"Lack of love type of family education",Because parents demanding high expectations,You always see the lack of children,Parents see less than you always heart of discontent,Always tell the child's shortcomings,What's more is always criticism/accused/Beat and scold,Children in such a short of love under the conditions of life,Always feel not recognised at the same time,Also continue efforts to meet the expectations of parents and requirements,They work very hard,But always could not reach the requirements of the parents,To lose confidence and progress,Accumulated continuously in the subconscious and consciousness at the same time a parent to distrust and bitterness,When this accumulation reaches a certain amount of time,Are formed"Problem child";

　　看看李天一，4岁选入中国幼儿申奥形象大使，4岁学钢琴，师从中央音乐学院著名钢琴教授韩明；8岁学书法，师从清华大学方志文，他获钢琴、书法奖无数，他10岁加入中国少年冰球队，他就读中关三小、人大附中，留学美国，他开歌友会，郁钧剑、魏金栋、吕薇等名家捧场。从他这些经历来看，看得出家长在能力和才华上投入有多么大、期望有多么高，老师都是名师，学校都是名校，还能进入国家队，这其中有李天一本人的努力，但如果李天一没有这么有本事的父母，那他还能够有这样的经历吗？

看看李天一,4, elected to the Chinese children's image ambassador,4, learn the piano,From the central institute of music piano professor cases.surgery;8 years old studying calligraphy,Fang Zhiwen from tsinghua university,He was the piano/Numerous calligraphy award,He joined the China youth hockey team at the age of 10,He attended overspending: 3 hours/The affiliated high school of National People's Congress,Study in the United States,He drove there in,Yu junjian/Wei Jindong/Lv Wei etc famous book.The experience from him,I see parents spend how much on ability and talent/How high expectations,The teacher is a teacher,The school is famous,Also can be in the team,There is li's own efforts,But if li is not so good parents,That he will also be able to have this experience?

　　如果家长在德行和责任上总包办总满足，孩子会失去感受家长爱的能力，我们把这样的家庭教育称作为“溺爱型家庭教育”，因为家长在生活上总满足，让孩子养成了“我得到都是应该的,都是理所当然的!”错误价值观，形象一点说就是家长围着孩子转，生活上以孩子为中心，慢慢的让孩子“只考虑自己的感受，失去考虑别人感受的能力”，成为“自私的孩子”，当自私到一定程度就会缺德；因为家长总包办，从小到大不让孩子参与劳动，除了才华、能力和学习上的努力以外，其它事情都不让孩子做，前些天我写过一篇文章专门论述这个问题《想要得到必须要付出劳动》”这样的孩子就会失去责任心，当家长的总满足和总包办让孩子失去德行和责任的时候，孩子就以“自己有利”为原则，不去考虑法律和道德规范，最终成为问题孩子。

如果家长Total arranged to meet on the morality and responsibility,Children will lose the ability of feel parents love,We put the family education say so as"NiAiXing family education",Because parents always meet in the life,Let the children to develop"I should be get,Take it for granted!"Error values,Image point is parents around children,Child centered on life,Slowly let the child"Only consider their feelings,Losing the ability to consider others feelings",Become a"A selfish child",When will wicked selfishness to a certain degree;Because parents always arranged,Since the childhood don't let the children participate in labor,In addition to the talent/Ability and effort learning outside,Don't let children to do other things,The other day I wrote an article specially discusses this problem[Want to pay the labor]"Such children will lose the sense of responsibility,Take charge of long always meet and always arranged let children lose their morality and responsibility,Children are in"His advantage"For the principle,Not to think about the law and ethics,Eventually become a problem child.

　　以上内容均为搜狐教育原创，转载时请注明出处！

以上内容均为搜狐教育原创,Please indicate the source when reprint!