从隔代抚养到重智轻德独二代教育路在何方？ Every generation from raising to heavy wisdom light DE only the second generation education where road?

　　近年来，随着“4＋2＋1”家庭的出现，隔代抚养、过分溺爱、早期教育过度等问题引起了社会各界的关注与忧虑。教育专家呼吁，独一代家长要改变对独二代的教育方式，避免走进误区。

In recent years,as"4 + 2 + 1"Family appear,Throwback raising/Spoiling their/Early education over problems have caused the social concern from all walks of life.Education experts called for,One generation of parents who want to change only the second generation of the education mode,Avoid into the erroneous zone.

隔代抚养弱化了家庭的教育功能 Every generation of raising the weakening of the family education function

　　每天早晨7时，现年54岁的王可欣坐公交车把小外孙送到幼儿园，下午4时又在幼儿园门口接小外孙回家。“没办法呀，他们小两口工作忙，交给我这个当姥姥的带，总比交给保姆强吧。”王可欣对记者说。

At 7 every morning,The 54-year-old WangKeXin bus small grandson to the kindergarten,At 4 PM in kindergarten and pick up at the door of the little grandson home."No way!,They young couple work favour,To me this when grandma with,Than to the nurse's strong."WangKeXin told reporters.

　　据了解，独一代父母大多正处于事业的上升期，工作繁忙，生活压力大，一些人并且内心尚未成熟，无法适应为人父母的角色转换。“谁来带孩子”成了困扰他们的问题。于是，祖辈抚养第三代成为普遍现象。

It is understood,One generation most parents are in a career stage,Job is busy,Life pressure big,Some people and your heart has not yet mature,Can't adapt to the parent role conversion."Who will take the children"Become bothers them.so,Grandparents raising third generation become common phenomenon.

　　实行计划生育政策30多年来，大量独生子女已进入婚育年龄为人父母，由他们生育的第二代独生子女被称为“独二代”。

To implement the family planning policy in more than 30 years,A large number of one-child has entered the age of married parents,The birth of the second generation of only children are called"Only the second generation".

　　据《中国妇女》杂志调查，超过70%的年轻父母“只生不养”，抚养孩子的重任全部由家中的老人承担。其中，孩子主要由爷爷奶奶照料的占42%，由姥姥姥爷照料的占30%，而由爸爸妈妈亲自抚养的孩子仅有不到两成。

According to[Chinese women]Magazine survey,More than 70% of the young parents"Only born without a",The responsibility of bringing up children all by the home for the old man.the,The child is mainly composed of grandpa's grandmother care accounted for 42%,The grandmother grandpa care accounted for 30%,The mom and dad himself dependent children only less than twenty percent.

　　沈阳市南宁幼儿园的幼师刘丽梅告诉记者，之前幼儿园举办亲子活动日，130名小朋友里只有不到三成是由父母陪同的，其余全是孩子的祖父母或外祖父母。“当天很多互动和游戏都不适合老年人参加，活动没有达到预期效果。”刘老师认为，年轻父母应该意识到，自己在孩子成长过程中是不可或缺的，不能把所有的责任都推给老人。

Shenyang nanning kindergarten fine LiuLiMei told reporters,The kindergarten parents held before day,130 children in less than thirty percent is accompanied by parent's,The rest are all the child's grandparents or maternal grandparents."The day a lot of interaction and games are not suitable for old people to participate in,Activities not achieved the desired results."Teacher liu think,Young parents should be aware of,In the growing process of children is indispensable,Can't put all the blame for the old man.

　　中国青少年研究中心对独二代的性格养成做了大量调研。调研组负责人孙宏艳认为，70%的隔代抚养弱化了家庭教育功能。“如果父母不能在孩子6岁之前与之建立起亲密的亲子关系，将来极易导致孩子与父母关系疏远，甚至引发种种心理疾病。”孙宏艳提醒各位年轻父母一定要亲身参与到孩子的成长中。

China youth research center of the second generation of a character, do a lot of research.The research group of SunHongYan think,70% of every generation raising weakening the family education function."If the parents can't in children before the age of 6 and establish close parent-child relationship,The future will lead to parents and their children distance relationship,Even trigger a variety of mental illness."SunHongYan remind you young parents must personally involved in the children grow up.

过度溺爱宠坏独二代 The spoilt pet second generation

　　“独二代成长中最大的问题是老人容易溺爱孩子。”沈阳市青少年心理辅导中心主任周咏梅表示。对于很多老人来说，养育孙子、孙女是他们主要的精神寄托，极易对孩子溺爱。“这非常不利于孩子的成长，孩子会变得任性、贪婪、自以为是，甚至小小年纪就学会了推卸责任。”

"Only the second generation to grow the biggest problem is that old man easy to spoil the child."Shenyang adolescent psychological counseling center director 周咏梅 said.For many old people,Raising grandchildren/Granddaughter is their main spirit to place,Easy for children dote on."It is very unfavorable to the growth of children,The child will become capricious/greed/thinks,Even a young man who has learned to shirk responsibility."

　　周咏梅认为，家长的过度爱护，造成孩子事事依赖家长，对孩子的发展尤为不利。一位家长害怕孩子会摔跤，从小就不许他跑步，结果沈阳市一名三年级学生至今连快走都不会。

周咏梅 think,Parents love too,Children depend on parents by everything,On a child's development is adverse.A parents fear the child will wrestling,Since the childhood that he running,The results of a three year students even go so far are not.

　　“从儿童心理学角度来讲，孩子是愿意自己去尝试的，他们会在尝试中得到快乐。同时，从失败到成功的过程有利于孩子产生成就感、提升抗挫折能力。把属于孩子的世界还给孩子，不要以保护的名义剥夺孩子快乐的权利。”周咏梅呼吁家长一定要学会放手，给孩子自己成长的机会。

"From the perspective of children psychology,Children are willing to try,They will be trying to be happy in.At the same time,From the failure to successful process is advantageous to the child have a sense of accomplishment/Ability to improve resistance to setbacks.To the children of the world back to the child,Don't to protect children in the name of the deprivation of the right to happiness."周咏梅 calls for parents must learn to let go,Give your child the opportunity to grow.

重智轻德 过早教育适得其反 Heavy wisdom light DE early education backfired

　　“要给孩子最好的条件，让他接受最好的教育，送到最好的幼儿园。”市民李斌和妻子都是工薪阶层，小区里就有幼儿园，可以让孩子就近入托。可李斌硬是把孩子送到私立国际双语幼儿园。一个月托费要6000元，再加上周末的补习班，每月开支不小。“我们大人吃点苦没啥，不能让孩子从小就比别人差。”

"To give your children the best of conditions,Let him receive the best education,To the best of the kindergarten."Citizens li bin and his wife are working class,Village in the kindergarten,Can let the child came near to the nursery.But li bin just put their children to private international bilingual kindergarten.A month has fee to 6000 yuan,Plus the cram school this weekend,Monthly spending big."We adults eat bitter nothing,Can't let the child is worse than others."

　　据了解，独一代父母接受教育的程度较高，他们更注重对孩子的知识灌输和物质满足，希望孩子出人头地。抱着“不能让孩子输在起跑线上”的心理，家长带着孩子奔走于各种早教班之间。很多孩子不仅要学习英语、书法，还要学习钢琴、绘画等，动辄近万元的“高价早教”受到众多年轻父母的追捧。

It is understood,One generation of parents accept education degree is higher,They more attention to children's knowledge infusion and material to meet,Hope the children come to the front.hold"Can't let children lose in the starting line"psychological,Parents take their children rushing in all kinds of development between class.Many children not only to learn English/calligraphy,Still have to learn the piano/Paintings, etc,Frequently nearly ten thousand yuan"Early high"By numerous young parents to chase after hold in both hands.

　　与过度智力开发的现状相比，家长对于孩子的德行教育则不那么重视。上海市妇联对1054名未成年人的家长进行了调查，当被问及“在家庭教育中，您在下列哪方面下工夫最多？”时，有80%的家长首选“智力开发和知识教育”，高于“身体素质培养”的64%和“道德品质和做人的教育”的54%。

Present situation of the development of intelligence and excessive compared,The parents for the child's virtue education is less attention.Shanghai women's federation of 1054 parents of minors were investigated,When asked about"In the education of family,You in which of the following most focus?"when,80% of the parents first"Intelligence development and knowledge education",Higher than"Physical quality training"And 64%"Moral quality and human education"54% of the.

　　周咏梅对于过早教育的现状表示焦虑，“0-6岁是孩子行为习惯和人格形成的关键时期。家长在这个阶段强迫孩子参加各种培训班，孩子的意愿得不到尊重，经常处于被指责的状态，对孩子内心的伤害非常大。”周咏梅认为，家长应该掌握孩子在每个年龄段发展的普遍规律，给孩子充分的空间，才能让孩子健康、全面发展。

周咏梅 for early education situation of anxiety said,"0 to 6 years old children behavior and personality formation of the critical period.Parents at this stage to force children to take part in all kinds of training,Children will not be respected,Often in the state of the accused,To the child heart damage is very large."周咏梅 think,Parents should grasp children in each age group the universal law of the development,Give children sufficient space,Can let the child health/All-round development.

　　在教育的方式方法上，专家还建议，独一代家长可以尝试转换角色，采取平等的态度，成为孩子的朋友。比如和孩子说话的时候最好要蹲下来，让孩子学习协助完成简单的家务等，而不是对孩子一味地迁就或责备。另外，家长可以联合几个家庭为孩子组成小型社交圈，经常带孩子去游乐场等儿童较多的场所，避免孩子出现性格孤僻和与同伴交往缺失等问题。(姜敏、汪依霖)

In the education of the method,The experts also suggest,One generation of parents can try to change his/her role,Take the attitude of equality,Become a children's friends.For instance and children speaking best to squat down,Let children learn to help complete simple household duties, etc,And not to the child blindly humor or blame.In addition,Parents can combine several families of children small circle,Children often go to the playground and children more places,Avoid children appear withdrawn and peer interaction problems such as lack of.(JiangMin/Wong in lam)